Raquel's World

The Drama Continues

2012-02-16T05:18:00.000-08:00

Her Side:

"Well...I was out walking my dog and I heard a noise behind the barn (located beside my house). I became frightened. There was heavy crashing sounds and the sound of metal. I was petrified. I immediately thought that your house was being robbed again. I took my dog back to my home and returned to see what was going on . As I was returning I saw a scary looking guy coming from behind your barn walking towards your back porch. I ran up to him and started yelling hey who are you? What are you doing here? Get the hell off this property now! The scary guy just ignored me and kept walking so I ran up to him and repeated my questions. I did not know who he was or if he was a killer. I wasn't sure if there were more people behind the barn. Before I realized it I had gotten right up in his face. I thought he may stab me or hurt me in some way. So I yelled at him some more. Finally the scary guy turned to me and said I am here to see Michael. I told him Michael was in school. He told me no he wasn't. He was in the house and had invited him over. I ran to your door and started pounding on the door yelling for Michael to come out. He ignored me. I kicked your door several times and continued yelling. Finally Michael came to the door. He opened the door a hair and said what so you want. I told him to get his ass out of that house, I asked him what were they doing? Was he robbing the place? I wasn't sure, But I thought maybe they were moving merchandise from your home to behind the barn for pick up. I continued yelling and cursing at Michael who just stared blankly at me. Finally he said to me Mrs. Judy I am sick. That's why I am home. I asked my friend to come over. That's why he is here. So I told him you are not supposed to have anyone here. What the hell is wrong with you? He said to me well call my mom if you have a problem. Then he shut the door in my face leaving me alone out on your porch with the other scary guy who I was certain would harm me. I told him to get the hell off the property before I called the police. Roc, what the hell is going on in your home? What is going on with Michael? He is up to some thing you need to have him arrested or placed in a boot cap or something. I cannot believe he was so disrespectful to shut the door in my face! I do not feel safe. I wasn't sure if they would attack me or hurt me I was so scared."

My Thoughts:

This story brings me much confusion. Why would she be scared of my son? Why was my son home and not at school? What was behind the barn? Who was the scary guy? Just then my son calls. I ask him what the hell is going on? He says to me "I came home and Mrs Judy came here and went crazy." I ask him who was at my house he says "no one now, but it was Brett." "Brett?" I asked. "No, not him, who was the scary guy?" "Brett" he says sounded defeated."What was Brett doing behind the barn?" "Hiding from Mrs Judy" he says. Uggghh "This is all too much I will be home in shortly and I will deal with you then." And I hung up greatly annoyed. When I arrive home I immediately begin yelling at him, because let's be honest, he was skipping school again.

His Side:

He had an accident in his pants....(A clear lie.) So he needed to come home and change. He was with Brett walking to school when it happened. So he headed home to shower and change and Brett was just gonna come with him. When he got to our street he told Brett to wait on the corner so he would not be seen by the neighbor. When he got home without an issue he called Brett and told him the coast was clear. Brett headed down the street just as Mrs. Judy was headed out to walk her dog. Brett called Micheal who instructed him to come the back way and hide behind the barn until Mrs. Judy went into her home. Which is what Brett did. However he must have rustled some leaves and unknowingly got Mrs. Judy's attention. So when she went home to put the dog up he thought the coast was clear and was headed to my back door when wham! Mrs Judy appeared yelling, screaming and cursing at him. He tried to ignore her and not engage her but she followed him. Then he just told her the truth that Micheal had invited him over. But she continued to yell and scream at him. Then Michael says Mrs. Judy came to the door, she kicked the door twice. He wasn't even gonna open it but she kept banging and yelling. So eventually he came to the door. He opened it and she began yelling at him. So much, so close that her spittle landed in his face and after the second time of spit landing in his face he told her to call me and shut the door.

The Facts:

Obviously my son did not shit his pants. That was just an excuse to come home. They were obviously planning to skip and hang out in my house. I fully believe all the parts about my sons story of why Brett was behind the barn. My kids know that Mrs Judy conducts 24 hour surveillance. Aside from my son being wrong for skipping here's what I take issue with. The "scary kid" that Judy referred to is my sons best friend.

A more true depiction of what the kid looks like

Her Description of The "Scary Guy"

He is over here lots. He has no weird piercings or tattoos or anything to make him look "scary." The kid wears yellow for god's sake. She knew him! So the part about the scary guy was unnecessary and embellished. I checked behind the barn. There was nothing back there. So the loud crashing and metal sounds...embellished. Her life being in danger...bullshit! My son nor any of his friends have ever been disrespectful to her or never been violent at all. No one threatened her! She could not have been that scared of him. She approached them both! I appreciate her giving me the heads up when something fishy is going on at my home and I'm not home. I do not appreciate her going over there and trying to handle it herself when she realized it was my son. She should have simply called me and that's all. It is not her place to go confront my kid. That would be my job. And it is definitely not her place to yell at my child or threaten him or his friends. Especially after she just fucking misidentified him as a robber no more than a week ago! I did tell her that. And I was mad at her for a good while. I also punished my son for skipping and called his friend up and had a chat with him about what will happen if I catch him at my house again when I'm not home. But Jeez Louise these people are outta control. And I am super pissed that my neighbor made it seem like she was in danger when she was the aggressor. Ugggh
Now you pick a side. Neighbor or son? They were both wrong but I just sorta feel the adult should be the adult. What do you think?

The Drama Never Stops

2012-02-14T08:21:00.000-08:00

So In case you missed it I went through hell for a couple weeks when my home was robbed and my 15 year old son was falsely identified by my neighbor.

Honestly the hardest thing I ever went through that I can recall. I was literally an emotional wreck. When my son was cleared it took a huge weight off me but there was still angst. I still and never will know who robbed my home. My relationship with my son will always have this scar. But I was getting through, pulling myself together.

Sunday night my boys were wrestling when Mason's foot got injured and his dad was convinced the bone had cracked. I had to go to work in the morning and Mason claimed he could not walk so I took him to work with me to try to find someone to cover my shift so I could take him to the doctor. It's really hard to carry a ten year old at 6am. Later that day around 12pm I am at the XRay center to get Mason's foot Xrayed. I had already had an unpleasant exchange with the receptionist who was less than friendly, even snooty, when she informed me the Xray would not be covered by my insurance since it was out of network. It wasn't so much as that, but the way she said it was just snooty! We were waiting to be called back. There are several signs stating no cell phones in the waiting area or treatment area and I obliged by turning off my ringer.I periodically checked my phone because I do have several other children and you never know. I noticed I had 3 missed calls from the neighbor. I was concerned and annoyed. Concerned because I thought maybe my house is being robbed again and annoyed because if that is not the case and she thinks I'm working why would she keep calling?
Then I get two missed calls from my job followed by another missed call from my neighbor. Now I'm starting to panic thinking there must be a problem. I get a text from a coworker that says "roc your neighbor called here looking for you she said it is an emergency". At this point they are Xraying Mason's foot. I cannot just leave the waiting area. That would freak him out if he returned and I was not there so I sat there for an agonizing 15 minutes wondering what the hell was going on at my home. Finally the Xray tech returned with Mason and shockingly now he could walk! It's a miracle! Once they told him he foot wasn't broken or sprained he magically healed right up. I was so irritated with him that I wanted to break his foot so that the entire day had not been a waste. I carried him and he is heavy, I left work, I argued with dad over the injury, and now I will have a huge Xray bill since the place my pediatrician sent me to get the Xray was out of network. Uggh just what I needed.
As I leave the Xray department I immediately call my neighbor. She answers the phone out of breath and over excited. I say annoyed "is there a problem?" "Oh hell yes there is!" she screams back at me. "Where are you?" I explain that I am far away at a hospital but ask what is the problem. She says "well I would not bother you if it was not an emergency! But something is going on with your son!" Oh god here we go. "My son is in school" I inform her.
"No he's not either!" she yells
"He is in your house!...
And I just had it out with him!...
Oh my god, let me calm down! She is breathing as if she will pass out at any minute. She begins to tell me what a horrible morning she has had to begin with.
Her dog is terribly ill and...
she's not feeling well herself, and...
she has been so stressed ever since the robbery....
and today just tops the cake....
she thinks she may move....
She needs her meds....
her heart is palpitating and....
the dog is so upset, and....
I need to get home asap...."
I am completely irritated and ask her "what the hell is going on? "
Oh god well Let me calm myself..
hold on I need some water.....
Oh you are going to be so upset...
or mad but I'm mad..."
this goes on and on. I have had enough!
"Fucking tell me all ready!" I yell "What the hell is going on?"
"Well....." she takes a deep breath and begins her story....

Telling The Neighbor

2012-02-08T05:58:00.000-08:00

She stands there in her usual attire, her robe and slippers. I scream "He did not do this! Michael is innocent!" She seems to be in shock and says "come in come in." I sit on her couch and I tell her how the police were just at my house and have cleared Michael. She stares at me in horror. She begins to sob. Not the reaction I was hoping for?? I say to her "hey now, no crying this is great news! You can stop giving him the suspect eye and we both can rest easy knowing that he didn't do this." She cries louder. "I can't believe I made a mistake it looked just like him" she says. "Well it's okay we all make mistakes" I say in an effort to comfort her. "Oh god!" she sobs "he must hate me." "Yes, he does" I say, "but he will get over it he just needs a little time." "I was so sure" she says shaking her head in disbelief. "I know, its okay." I say She begins to wail "oh you must hate me.!" "No, I don't" I assure her. "Yes you do!" she wails. Her wailing is similar to that of a three year old having a tantrum. There is shaking and snot and tears and loud crying. But I've seen it before. I tell her to clam down no one hates her its just that I am so happy he didn't do this. She again said "I was just so sure." I just stare at her. "But I never saw his face" she admits. "Just the back of him or rather the back of who I thought was him." "It's fine," I say "you were only trying to help."
"All your kids must hate me." she whines. I assure her that they don't. She asks me if I can ever forgive her. I tell her that I already have. As she cries and cries and makes it about her I remind her to imagine how I must feel. I am his mother and I too accused him. "Only after I said I saw him!" she wails. "Either way, I am his mother and I should have stood by him." I interject. "Oh the turmoil I have caused your family. I am just so sorry and".....this goes on for an hour. Her crying and apologizing me assuring her that we do not hate her and that we should focus on the positive... he is innocent. I eventually calm her down to where she is no longer crying at the top of her lungs just whimpering quietly about how much he must hate her. I tell her "he's a good kid. Give him some time and he'll forgive you." She asks if she can apologize right now. I say no the day has been long enough and I am sure Michael doesn't want to hear her apology right now. "Just let it die down a bit" I suggest. As I am wrapping up my visit that always takes about 3 times longer than I anticipated I get her calm enough so I can leave without feeling too guilty. She starts to cry again. "Do you think he will take revenge against me?"
This makes me angry! I turn on my heel and look her in the eye and say "My son has never done anything malicious to anyone! He is not that kind of person!" "Well he could be so mad now that he may retaliate." she says. I am stunned at that comment. I have decided to just go and leave her to her misery. I wrap things up by saying "well we, and our homes are safe and I am happy for that." "No we are not" she says. "That means the real robber is still out there and I am probably next. She begins to get worked up again. "Listen, the robber only stole kids items and electronics so it was obviously someone who knew us and had been in our home. You have nick knacks and facial cream. They do not want that. I am sure you will be fine." I say, becoming irritated. "Oh no" she says "I am certain I am next." "Okay I give up. Have a good night" I say and return home wishing I had never went over to begin with.

The Robbery- Part 5 - Finally....Guilty or Not

2012-02-06T05:00:00.000-08:00

The Back Story
Okay, loyal readers, here I will finally tell you if my son did this or not.
So I answer the phone and I am greeted by a Captain Morgan. He informs me that is is calling because he understands I had filed a complaint. Which although I did complain I did not realize it was "official." So I catch him up on the entire story about how I was treated by the redneck-asshole-guy and how I have not been contacted since and the all the stuff that had occurred in relation to this robbery and their mishandling of it. He is very nice and he tells me that he will be looking into the way I was treated by the FVPD because that is definitely not the way to handle citizens. He informs me that all calls are recorded and he plans to pull the recordings from my previous 5 phone calls and if what I said was indeed true someone's "head would roll." He explains the investigation process to me and for that I am grateful because I truly had no clue. He apologizes again for the way I was treated and assures me that he will take action. He asks if there is anything he can do to smooth things over with me.
I tell him that at this point it had been two weeks and obviously the case would not likely get solved but that I was horribly upset and confused by my son being accused. He asks if I think he did it. I tell him no but I don't want to be that mom that thinks her kids are angels. I mean who would really think their kid robbed their family at 15?? I explain to him how hard it has been in my home not knowing if my son is innocent or guilty and at this point I don't even care if they find the culprit. I just want my son either cleared or convicted so we can move on with our lives. I tell him that the FVPD has stock in finding out if he did it as much as I do because if he did it I am sure next he would rob someone else and then they would really have a problem. I tell him if my son did do this then this would be his first crime therefore he should be easy to break.
I suggest they come pick him up and take him to one of those interrogation rooms with the swinging light and an intimidating officer that could get him to confess.

He explains that due to his age he cannot do that. I ask if they can administer a lie detector test to my son. Again he informs me the age is an issue. I tell him I am willing to sign something saying I do not mind if they go outside of protocol. Whatever it takes I need to know. He says again he cannot. I sigh in frustration and my voice cracks as I fight back tears that apparently I will never know if my son did this or not. There is a long pause on Captain Morgans end and he says "I'll tell you what. It is so uncommon for a mother to be so vigilant when their child is accused. Generally a mother would just defend her child even when she may know he is guilty." He commends me for that. He said he could tell I was struggling with this and since I had been so mistreated he would do me a favor. He informs me that he is the master at making a criminal crack especially youth offenders and that although he could not come pick my son up he would come to my home and "work his magic" and give me the answer I so sought after. It is almost 10pm. He asks if I would like him to do that. I am super grateful and I reply "Yes! Yes! Please!" He says "I am on my way see you in 10 minutes."
Ten minutes later there is a knock at the door. All my boys are sitting at the dining room table playing UNO.(that's what happens when there are no video games) I open the door and act surprised to see the captain standing there with the original responding officer. They step inside and the captain says "I am here to see Michael Reed." My son looks like he is gonna shit himself. I point him out, "that's Michael" I say. He says all official and authoritatively "Michael I need you to come with me, Mrs Reed officer John will explain what's going on" and with that my son heads out the door with the captain. Those 15 minutes seemed like lifetime. I began to wonder if I was doing the right thing. I worried for my son. But I knew it was what I had to do. After 15 minutes or so the captain returns with his arm around my sons shoulders ( I am crying as I write this, as I visualize the memory of that sight.) He says to me "Mrs. Reed, your son is innocent. You got a good kid right here." I bite my lip to hold back the tears as I grab him and hug him. He, understandably, does not hug back. The captain explained that the prints do not match my son at all. He had previously verified my sons alibi and using his expertise in detecting guilt he had cleared my son. I honestly felt like I had won the lottery. You could never understand this until you go through something like this. In an instant I had my sweet innocent child back! I thanked the captain over and over. He told me that I was doing a great job as a mom and he wished more mothers in our town were more like me. Then he gave me his cell, his email and told me if I ever needed anything please get in touch with him. He also apologized again for the trauma that my family had endured. And with that he left. He barely made it out my driveway when I ran as fast as I could to the neighbors. It was 11pm! I banged on her door so much that I am sure I scared the shit out of her. She opened the door frazzled and I yelled "he is innocent! Michael did not do this!".......

The Robbery- Part 4 Me Against The FVPD

2012-02-02T05:51:00.000-08:00

The Beginning of the Story
I had been gathering info all week."Working the case" I was hell-bent and determined to find out if my son had anything to do with this. I was exhausted. I had not heard from anyone from the police department so I decided I should call them. I had the responding officers number in my phone so I called him and shared with him the information I had received from the school and the information on the kid that looked like my kid. He told he was off and was not my officer. He told me I should contact the police department to find out who was assigned my case and share that info with them. I did just that. Guess who answered? Red-neck-asshole-guy. As soon I started to explain who I was he cut me off and said "yeah we know, what do you want" I explained that I had information I needed to share with whomever was handling my case. He asked me for my investigators name. I told him I didn't know. I didn't. He grumbled and said "who was the officer?" I told him the responding officer had told he he was not my officer. He then said rudely "well what's your case number?" I told him I did not know. I had not been given a case number or any information. He said "you don't know?" I said "no I don't" He responded rudely "well I don't either" and hung up. I was outraged. What was this dudes problem? I had decided to go down there in person after work.
When I arrived at the local police station I could see immediately why the person answering the phone was an ass. There was one guy responding to 911 calls, regular police station calls, dispatching police units and handling walk ins. That made me feel very unsettled about my community. I had to wait 15 minutes for the guy working behind the desk to acknowledge me he was super busy. So I made it quick. I knew immediately he was not red-neck-asshole-guy because he was polite to the callers. I quickly explained who I was and that I had been having difficulties with whoever it is that is answering the lines in the daytime. They officer behind the desk did not seem too interested. He told me that they are short staffed and simply my case was not a priority. It was a home burglary and that is the bottom of the list. He also told me that he was sorry for the delay but it was unreasonable for me to expect any answers 6 days in. That is a long process admittedly longer than it should be, but they honestly were doing the best they could. He said at that point my case had not even been assigned to anyone so there was no one to share the info with. I was so damn frustrated. He also told me that they had just done a major switch in the back and lots of people were in positions they had never been in so they were trying to iron out the wrinkles. He was polite but he gave me no hope. I felt defeated. I asked him what do I do with this info? I also found it odd that I got yelled at by red-neck-asshole-guy because as he says "time is of the essence in a crime" and here it was a week later and no one was working my case.!!! He took down my name and number and said he'd pass it on. I left. Honestly I gave up. "Fucking forget it" I'd said. I returned home to my misery.
Since the robbery, my neighbor had become more worrisome than usual calling every time she heard a sound. Questioning me over and over about what I was going to do about my son. Reminding me constantly that she did not feel safe and she was sure her home was next. I tried to reassure her it was obviously someone who knew us, some teen because my jewelry and checks had not been taken only the kids stuff. She had nothing to worry about all she has is ole lady stuff that no one wants. But she made it about her. I was so annoyed. Here I could barely cope, I felt like hell and I had to go to work each day and carry on each day taking care of my kids all while dealing with the thoughts that my home was not safe, and wondering if my son was this terrible. I felt I failed my kids. They no longer felt safe. As a matter of fact Marlon had called his dad and asked to move in with them because he did not feel safe. That was crushing. Michael's moods swung from emotional to angry. I could not decided if he was guilty or not. And in the middle of all this the neighbor was super needy because she was alone and scared and I was made to feel responsible for that. It was a hard hard time for me and I had no where to turn. My friends and coworkers offered to help with the other kids as they saw me struggle emotionally and twice a coworker sent us dinner. It was all very nice but I felt alienated with my son as a suspect. Until Friday Night when I received an unexpected phone call........

The Robbery- Part 3- Suspect

2012-01-31T05:02:00.000-08:00

How It Started

How my son got named a suspect

I realize everyone wants me to get to the conclusion of this but I feel it is important to take you on the journey just as I went on it. That way you can feel the confusion, suspicion, and doubt. Don't worry it will eventually wrap up.

The night was rough. I awakened the next morning to get ready for work. David had agreed to stay home to secure the house and let in CCBI (Crime Scene People). I watched my son eat his breakfast. I stared at him wondering Could he have? Did he? What would I do of he had? What would I say to him if he hadn't? I was teary-eyed and emotional but needed to go to work. I straightened up a bit and placed a call to the police station like I had been instructed to do. Some red-neck asshole answered. I began to explain to him that I needed CCBI to come out. He cut me off rudely and said to me "you mean to tell me your home was robbed and you called off CCBI because you were tired?!" The aggravation in his voice was apparent. I explained that I had small kids that were exhausted and terrified and we had waited 5 plus hours and I needed to do what was best for my children at that time. He yelled at me "do you not know that time is of the essence when there is a crime?!" I explained that we stayed away from the room in which entry had been made. He made a few other rude remarks. I was already emotional and could not understand what this dudes problem was. I explained to him that I am not a criminal therefore did not know how the justice system works. I was advised by the officer that it was okay to wait until the morning to call. He said "well you can call them yourself! I'm not calling!" I was shocked. I was offended. I had been victimized and could not believe how rude this guys was. I hung up and called CCBI.

The CCBI people wanted to know why I was calling instead of the police. I was told by them that citizens do not call for their own investigations that call should be made from my police station. I explained that some guy down there refused to call and told me to call myself. The CCBI person was very nice and said he would look into that for me because that was handled completely wrong. He apologized on behalf of the police department and said he would send someone out asap. I got into my car to head off to work and as I pulled out my gut was telling me what I had to do. I parked my car, I reentered my home crying and went into Michael's closet to retrieve the shoes he had on the day before. I gave them to David. I said to him "give these shoes to them to see if the prints match." I felt horrible it was like leading my son to a slaughter. I could not help but feel I was betraying him and the feeling was awful. I then left for work.

The CCBI people came and managed to get two full sets of prints, they did not seem interested in the shoes? So now all I could do was wait .I went back the next day to see the neighbor. I interrogated her myself. She said she saw my son at 210p that was a time he should have been at school. She said she saw him walk down the road and meet up with a group of older boys one street over. She said there were 5 guys in hoodies waiting. At the time she thought it was odd but had no clue that my home had just been robbed. I then placed a call to my sons school. The attendance office verified he was there. I know that attendance is done at the beginning of the period so my son could have checked in and left. So I explained to the school what was going on and asked to speak with the teacher directly. I wanted to make sure my son was there at 215 when the bell rang. He was. I was relieved about that. I immediately shared that info with my neighbor who then said she may have been off by 10 or 15 minutes which meant my son could have been at school and could have made it home in time to do the crime. My relief was short lived.

Over the next few days I could barely look at my son without crying and wondering. All things ran through my head. I knew he was drug free. I had tested him again. So it just did not make sense. But neither did his demeanor. My other kids were still scared and full of questions. Michael was not. I had to adjust my work hours so that I could be home when they got home because Marlon was scared to be home alone. There was also tension between my two sons. They had blamed each other and were not speaking. I asked Michael over and over again. I hounded him with questions I searched his room. I stalked his facebook friends. I made it clear to him that he was the number one suspect and not only did I but the entire family treated him as such.

A few days later I was still treating him weird I did not know what to think. If he would even speak to me I'd tear up. This was my baby. One particular evening I was sitting on the couch in the dark just thinking. He came in and sat down across from me. He meekly said "Mom, I did not do this" I did not answer. He then said "Mom you know I was a victim too. My stuff got stolen too." I did not answer. He looked at me sadly. I said to him "Michael she saw you." He replied "well maybe she was wrong. Maybe it was someone who looked like me." To that I said nothing. He told me there is a kid that people mix up with him all the time. I could not believe he was still lying to me so I left the room in silence.

Later that night David approached me and said he wanted to show me something. He pulled out his blackberry and showed me a picture of what looked like my son. But..it wasn't my son. He said it was a kid that went to school with Michael and Michael had showed him the picture. I stared at the picture. It was uncanny the resemblence this kid had to my son. Could this be the answer I prayed for? As I went through this kids facebook page it was clear he was in a gang. You can tell by the language and hand signs. I read all his wall posts about "getting that money" on the day my home was robbed. This kid was a complete menace to society. I spent hours picking apart his life through his face book friends. I discovered that this kid lived two streets over and walked past my street to go to school each day. I also found out that he had been in my home before. One day the boys were playing bball out front and he had walked up and asked Michael if he could get a drink of water. Michael brought him in our home. By the end of the night I had a glimmer of hope.

The Robbery- Part 2

2012-01-25T05:04:00.000-08:00

PART ONE-CLICK HERE

I stand there, confused, violated, hurt, shocked, and angry. My home has been robbed and my neighbor has just identified my son as being the robber. I do not know what to think or how to feel. I do not think my son did this, but whoever thinks their kid has done anything? Having an eye witness just solidifies his guilt to me. I am yelling at him, he sits there in silence with tears in his eyes, and a look of anger on his face. Is he mad that he is accused or mad that he is caught? The neighbor and police officer are both just standing there staring at us both. I ask the officer "if my son is guilty can you arrest him?" Hard question to ask. I can barely form the words. But I do realize if my son had indeed did this I will have to take action. He says to me "no, he is only 15." I explain that he will be 16 in less than 30 days. Doesn't matter he says. He explains that basically if I pursue it my son will go to court, basically get a slap on the wrist as a first time juvenile offender he will probably get off with a warning and I waste time going back and forth to court. I am completely frustrated. He asks if I want the home treated as a crime scene. "Yes" I say. The officer resumes his questioning of us all and then after making a list of what was stolen:
2 XBox 360's
A Wii
An Ipad
A Nike Bag
10 Video Games
Shoes
Clothes
And Various other teenage gifts from Christmas.
The officer informs me that after totaling the value which is over $1000. It is now a felony and the game changes. He informs me that if my son is found guilty it will no longer be in my hands that the county will take it over because it is a felony and he will be charged as a felon. He also lets me know that once the process is started it cannot be stopped. He then asks me if I want to pursue it. I ask for a minute. I pull my son to the side. I say to him "did you hear that? Do you understand what he is saying?" I explain it to him. I beg him to please tell me if he had anything to do with this. "If you did we will work it out here but you have to be honest. If you do not be honest with me I cannot help you." I am distraught. He stands firm that he did not do this, At this point looking at all the evidence I feel he is guilty. I just want him to tell me why? Where did the stuff go? If he is in some sort of trouble? Are you being bullied? Is this gang related? etc. He refuses to give up any info and simply says. "I am innocent so do what you gotta do." He will not look at me. I try over and over to get him to break. He will not. I am defeated I have no choice but to resume with the investigation.
We walk back into the dining room and I say to the police "okay call CCBI." He asks one more time if I am sure? I cry harder and say Yes. I have no other options. I look at my son pleading for him to fix this. He sits in silence. The call is made.. It is done. Now all we can do is wait. We are instructed not to touch anything and we wait. 3 hours pass. I call the police station and ask how much longer until the CCBI people arrive because we have work and school in the morning and everyone is already upset, hurt, scared and exhausted. They tell me they will have the officer call me. The officer calls me back and says it could be a couple more hours. It is 10pm. I struggle with the thought of having my kids observe a crime team in our home at 12am. I ask if they could just come in the morning. If we could seal the room of entry. I explain that my children and I are exhausted and really just want to go to bed. He says that will be fine. The officer tells me he is off for the next few days but to call the station in the morning explain what has happened and have them recall CCBI. At that point an officer will come and give me a report and case #. I thank him, and gather my kids up in my room to go to bed. Everyone makes a bed on the floor except for Michael. I go in his room. He is sitting on his bed. I am so mad at him, so hurt by him, but he is still my son. I tell him he can sleep in the room with us. He says "no I'm fine in here." Again that looks suspect to me. The other 3 kids are terrified, he does not seem scared at all. I return to my room and try to sleep. ....To be continued.

The Robbery-

2012-01-23T05:06:00.000-08:00

During Winter Break I noticed that my boys would go days without sleep playing video games. It concerned me but I though hell it's winter break I'll let them live have a little fun. As the break neared it's end I decided that we should have a family meeting in which I discussed my concerns about their video gaming and its addictiveness. More importantly how hard it would be to transition back into a regular school schedule. So we agreed (they did not really agree) but it was decided that there would be no games until all chores have been completed, homework had been done and some form of studying occurred. And video games would be limited to an hour in the evenings.
So I arrive home, it's a Tuesday. My oldest son is out to eat with a friend and Marlon is sitting at the table studying. I start laundry and dinner. An hour later he asks if he can get on his game system. I check all his requirements to do so and I say sure. He stands there while I continue with my stuff. He finally says "well can I get my game?" "I don't have it" I say. "Well where is it?" he asked. He says "really mom stop playing. Where are all the games?" I inform him that I have no clue. "They are not in your car or at your job?" he asks with a look of concern.(it is common for me to remove the systems from the home when they have been punished) I again inform him that I do not have them. My son tells me that all the game systems are gone. Maybe David took them I thought. So I called him to ask. He said he did not have them. I call my oldest son and ask if he hid them, he said no. I then realized we had been robbed! I know the correct term is burglarized but robbed sounds more serious so I'ma go with that.

I call the police. Next I call my son and tell him to come home immediately that we had been robbed. In the next ten minutes David arrives home from work, and my son shows up. The police show up and come in and I start to explain that apparently while we were at work and school our home had been robbed. We had discovered an open window in my daughters room. That must have been the point of entry. There are footprints on the wall and under the window outside. Her curtains are crooked. The neighbor sees the police car in my yard and comes over. I fill her in. We are all gathered around the dining room table in shock while the police ask their questions. They ask times of when we all left the home and then the time we arrived in the evening. We go around the table and answer. When it is my son's turn he responds that he just got there 2 minutes before the police did. My neighbor looks at him and says "no the first time you came home."

What? What is she talking about? I look at her puzzled. My son says "this is the first time I have been home." She says "No I saw you. I saw you earlier today around 210pm. You were here." He looks shocked. He repeats "I have not been home since I left for school this morning." She says to him "do not lie. I saw you." My head is spinning. What is she implying? I look at my son searching for an answer. Why would he lie about coming home? She obviously saw him? I then say "Tell me Michael did you come here?" "No I was with John at the Chinese Buffet!" He says defensively. I have been having issues with Michael in the past 3 months or so. Issues with skipping and lying but nothing like this. Unfortunately, in that moment I did not know what to believe. My neighbor says to him again "I saw you. You left the home and had a bookbag and a duffel bag." He again tells her she is wrong. "I was not here at all!" he yells with tears in his eyes. I cannot tell if the tears are anger or hurt or guilt. She asks me if he has a duffel bag. I say yes and then she says "if I see it, I will know if that is it." I go get the bag from his closet. It is a black and blue Nike bag. I place it on the table and hold my breath. She looks at it and says "no it's similar but that's not it." I breathe a sigh of relief and then I hear her say "it was like that, but red." My heart drops. My other son has an identical bag in red. I ask him to go check his closet. Sure enough the bag is gone.......

I look at my son and yell at him "Did you have anything to do with this?" "No! I swear!" he yells back. The neighbor is still insisting it was him that she saw. He yells "call the school! l was at school!" I lose it. I begin to cry and yell "tell me the truth! I am gonna find out! I have to know did you do this!" I am searching his eyes for some indication of his innocence or guilt. He yells again "NO! My god I would never!" I want to believe him. He had never done anything like this but there is always the first time. I, sobbing, confused, mad, and hurt ask him again "do you know anything about this?" He yells again. "I had nothing to do with this! Why would I steal my own stuff come on!" He turns to the police and says "fingerprint me. Do whatever. I had nothing to do with this!" I want so badly to believe him but she saw him. And she sees everything. I am spinning. this is too much. Not my son. God please no..............To be continued.

Busted- Skipping School Part 2

2012-01-18T05:23:00.000-08:00

Let us resume where we left off shall we? And if you missed it then feel free to check out the beginning of the story by clicking here.
So the boys had skipped school, I busted them, and beat them, then gathered them up in their PJs and headed off to the middle school. I make a big scene pulling up and then yanking open the sliding door. Marlon gets out and walks slowly into the school. When we arrive at the office the receptionist says "Oh you found him." I say "yes, he was at home. I want to check him in please." She informs me that because it is so late in the day he will be counted absent. I tell her "I don't care, check him in anyway." His eyes are red from crying. She asks him if he is okay. He does not respond. I inform her that he had received a spanking and was in huge trouble. I also informed her that if the school had any concerns and felt the need to contact any authorities due to my corporal punishment do so now and I will wait right here because I was going back to work and do not need the any further interruptions.
I know it was bitchy but one time before my son had gotten suspended from school and we spanked him. His brother went to school and told the teacher his brother was not in school because he had gotten a spanking (which was not why he was not there by the way) but anyways the school called me and asked if I had indeed spanked my son. I informed them that I had and they told me it was illegal to hit my kid and if they heard that again they would be bound by law to report me.
The receptionist looked at me and looked at him and then said "hmm you gotta do what you gotta do". I thanked her for her time and returned to my vehicle where my other son was waiting.
We drove in silence to his school and as I got out of the vehicle he looked mortified. I walked with him into the school office and said that I wanted to check him in. The receptionist looked at his attire and then back at me as I waited for some comment. She kept looking at my son with concern. He stood there in silence. There were other students in the office so I'm sure that made it worse. She asked him if he was okay. I gave him the look. I then informed her that he had received a spanking and if she needed to report it or whatever do so now and I'll just wait. She seemed shocked. She asked me to wait a minute while she checked protocol. I mean seriously this was ridiculous. This kid is twice my size. She returned and then asked me if I wanted to speak with someone. I asked her "what for?" She said "well you seem upset." I said I was but did not need to talk to anyone. What I really needed was to be able to return to work and not to receive attitude when I call here to see if my son is in school. She said okay. And I was free to go.
As I pulled out of the parking lot I receive a call from the high school. I immediately think "great I am going to be arrested for spanking my giant son." I answer. The lady on the phone informs me that she just realized who I was and she wanted to let me know that earlier that day she had received a phone call from someone claiming to be the father of my son. He just wanted to inform the school that Michael was living with him and that my contact number should be deleted from the contact list and replaced with a new number which just happened to be my sons cell number. The school said they knew it was student because his voice cracked a couple times. And they had been planning to contact me about it.
I was floored. I would never have thought in a million years that he would be that conniving. It appears I have entered into a new phase of parenting. One I dislike very much and one that will surely age me before my time.

Now that I know what a lil sly fox I am dealing with I am going to have to step up my game. Needless to say the punishments were bountiful and continuous.
Question If you have a teen have you experienced skipping?
And if not than did you skip school?

Busted- Skipping School Part 1

2012-01-16T05:38:00.000-08:00

Lets go back a bit shall we?
Remember this lil adventure?
Well I thought I nipped that skipping shit in the bud. My kids have always had a healthy fear of me and I have enjoyed that part. A lil slip on their end.... I swoop in and put my foot down and easy peasy all goes back to harmony at home. Well apparently the bigger your kids get the less scared they are of you. Let me explain,
So I am at work chilling, I mean working hard and decide to shoot Marlon's (13) teacher a lil email to follow up on some late assignments he had. She responded and at the end of her email she added "I hope he feels better." I thought that was an odd statement so I emailed back asking "is he not feeling well?" She informs me that homeboy is not even at school today. I immediately call the middle school to confirm this and it is so. I then call my oldest sons high school where I am told by some idiot that she can only tell me at the end of the day if he was there or not. I explain that I suspect he is skipping. She informs me that I "will know for sure when I get the attendance call at 8pm". 8pm it is 11am! That is not reasonable. I am annoyed to say the least.
So I leave my job and head home. I park one street over and jog to my home (okay I walked fast) but that is neither here nor there. I did not want them to hear my car. I wanted to use the element of surprise. Just as I had been surprised to find they were not at school.
As I approached my home my adrenaline is going. I turn the key I hear "oh shit, someones here." Then I hear feet running. Idiot kids, where are they running to? I enter the home and yell "get out here now!"
I survey the scene. Oh Honey there are soda cans all over the table. (My kids are not allowed to drink soda much and there are several Mountain Dew cans on the table.) My sodas!!! Several of them! The TVS are on all the lights are on, and what's that smell?? No its not weed, it's something baking. Oh these fools are baking Christmas cookies! I scream again "get out here!" The two boys sheepishly appear in the hallway. They have on their Modern Warfare PJ's and slippers. The heat is blowing at a tropical temperature and I am pissed. I immediately grab a belt and go to whopping some ass. Honestly I rarely ever spank my kids. Seriously. Especially these two because they are bigger than me and it doesn't hurt them really anymore so it is ineffective. But I was pissed. As I chase them through the house over the couch behind the entertainment center swinging my belt I land a few good hits. Unfortunately I also hit myself about 5 times with the buckle. I am hollering at them "oh so you guys don't think school is necessary? Dead beats!" etc. After the beat down I tell them to get their back packs. I busy myself with a pair of scissors cutting the cable connection to their room. I load up all the Xboxes, IPods, TVs etc into my van. I am furious. I observe my son picking out some school clothes. I say to him "No, You are going like that." "I can't go to school in my PJ'S" he says "Oh yes you will! And you would not have to had to had you kept the clothes on you had this morning when you pretended to go to school!" They look at each other like she is crazy. I inform them that Yes, Yes I am indeed crazy. And I tell them to get in the van and I mean now.
I head of fin the direction of the school. Wanna know what happened at school? Stay Tuned. That post is coming soon.

I'm Still Here

2012-01-11T05:43:00.000-08:00

It's been over two months! I have had blogger withdrawal. This blog is my sanity point. It serves as my virtual journal, and is cheaper than therapy. I cannot tell you the amount of times lately that something goes down in my day and I think "Oh god I need to blog this". But time,,time,,time where does it go? So much has changed in the past few months. Some for the good some for the bad and some just change period. Don't give up on me blog followers, for my new years resolution is to resume blogging. So I will start today writing posts about what has been happening and hopefully nothing will mess up my blogging time and I will be able to consistently blog again. So I am still here. I am still alive and kicking and as always I have jaw dropping tales to tell. Stay tuned. WELCOME 2012!

Dealing With A Drunk, Sooo 2010.

2011-11-04T05:50:00.000-07:00

I tried to avoid it. But as I am catching up on my blog reading I notice EVERYONE did a Halloween Post. So In the interest of following the crowd, I will too. I attended a party with my coworker/friend, her husband and David. We decided to dress as a theme together. First bet was the cast of the Jersey Shore but then decided to be gangstas and flappers from the 50's. Here is what they look like. Just so ya know.

Here is how we did it...

Whatcha Think?
My job was having a kids party so I took the lil ones there and we headed over to the adult party. Last year David drove so he was not allowed to drink at all. This year I had a designated driver so he could drink. I made it clear to him that this party is my night. I mean if you've been following me you know that David has had his share of fun nights out over the past couple years. Me, I never go anywhere kid free. So this is my one time a year to let loose and have a few. Here is the problem. David also felt the need to let loose. He drank and drank and drank. Aftershock, Vodka, Tequila, Beer, Wine. everything! In the beginning we were both having a few drinks but then one of us, Ahem. decided to really have good time. He was on his best behavior at the party. But literally within 20 minutes of our exit it all went to hell in a handbasket. There was a drinking game at the party see.....

Drinking games are basically a way to binge drink. I played too but I cheated like hell. I pretended to take shots. tehehehehe See we had to pick our kids up and although we did not have to drive, someone had to be of the conscience and sober mind to get them settled to bed. And once I saw party boy downing shot after shot, I sadly realized that someone would be me. Luckily he held it together at the party but soon as we left all that alcohol must have registered because David was SUPER ANNOYING! When you are sober nothing is worse than a drunk. Oh good lord he went from telling me that "I was not his mother" Which by the way, I pretty much am.... to telling me how much he loved me and appreciated me. It was 30 minutes of bitching about me to 30 minutes of praising me. He even felt the need to rehash his apologies for his behavior while we were separated. We had already put that baby to bed in July. I did not need the drunk verison. Uggh. And he would not shut up! Hour after hour. The worst part is he felt the need to be very close while he poured out his drunken heart. Like right up in my face close. So close the alcohol burned my eyes. Eventually he passed out. But the next day my bedroom reeked of alcohol. I had to strip the linens, Febreeze the curtains etc. So I had an alright time but it would be nice to be the careless one sometime and not have to babysit him. Maybe next year. On the upside I got some great FB pics. But have you ever had to babysit a drunk? Oh god it is so annoying! I was supposed to be the one all toasty and shit but....

Just a lil Suspect.....

2011-11-02T05:29:00.000-07:00

As I arrive home last Monday afternoon I notice Marlon (teenage son) is cutting the grass. Hmmm That's odd. Because A- he never cuts the grass and B- the grass had just been cut two days prior. I immediately roll down my window and ask "what are you doing?" He responds "cutting the grass." "Yeah, but why?" I ask. "Just wanna" he says. My mommy BS sensor is on high alert. I circle the driveway and as I pull into the other side to park I notice Michael (other teenage son) washing windows. Okay, something has definitely gone down. I ask him "why are you doing that?" He smiles and says because "we love you mom." Yeah. Something is definitely up. I remove my keys from the ignition and step out of my van. I approach him head on. "What did you guys do?" I ask. He has a look of guilt. "Nothing" he says. "Then why the hell are you guys out here doing yard work?" I ask suspiciously. "Oh we just wanna make the yard look nice." Bullshit. "Did you break something?" I ask "No" he says. "Did you get in trouble at school?" nope he replies. "Was someone in my house while I was at work?" "No Mom, we just wanna help you out." Hmmm I ain't buying it.

I unlock the door and step inside and my house is spotless. I mean don't get me wrong I got pretty decent kids and it is their responsibilty to have the house clean before I arrive home but this...well this is different. Floors have been mopped. laundry has been done. No something is definitely up. I search around to see what have they broken. I think immediatey of my newest prized possession, a wax burner. I run to the living room, expecting to see it smashed or something. Nope. It's not smashed. Oh I l know, they probably cracked it and glued it back together. We've all done that right? I pick it up and inspect it. Nope no wax burner damage. I go outside to drill the younger one. He always tells. I approach him. He is in a cold sweat cutting grass with such a passion. I signal for him to cut the mower off. He does. I hit him with all the questions I hit his brother with. He says "mom I can't talk right now, I gotta get this grass cut before it gets dark." And he cranks the mower and moves on, never quite making eye contact with me.

Puzzled I go back into my house. I search everything, everywhere. I find nothing. I go back outside and get both boys and say "I know you did something and it must be bad, so spill it." The youngest looks at the oldest like Oh shit she knows. The oldest plays it cool. "God mom can't we just be helpful?" "Yes" I reply "helpful taking out the trash, straightening up, but this is not helpful this is suspect." So much work had been done. They would have had to have worked from the minute school let out until now to complete it all. I try a few more ways to get the info out. But they are not budging. I go back inside but watch them from the kitchen window as they have an impromptu meeting. I am assuming to get their story straight. They are breaking I think. The little one looks worried. The oldest, cool as a cucumber. As I prepare various torture treatments in an effort to get the info I so need, I keep a watchful eye on them. Still working. I get the water boarding materials together, hot sauce, check the cellar in which they will be locked until they confess and check my interrogator face in the mirror. And then out I go to do battle. These boys will not get away with whatever they have done. I am determined.

I approach them again and I say "you know I know you did something and its bad." They just stare at me straight faced. "I know. I may not know what, but I will not rest until I find out." I warn them. I give them my scariest face. The little one looks at the big one like I'ma tell The oldest looks back at him like tell and die. I walk off and around the corner where I can sneak up on them on the other side and eavesdrop. Marlon says "dude she knows she knows." Panic is imminent in his voice. Michael replies "oh come on, that's just her way of tricking us. Stay strong man don't be a snitch. She doesn't know" "No man I can tell she knows" Marlon is truly worried. "She knows nothing!" Michael snaps at him "Now stick to the plan, and don't let her shake you up!" Oh so they have a plan? Ha well I have a plan too. I gotta get the lil one away from the big one so I can break him. Divide and Conquer. I ask Marlon to pull the trash cans around. When he does I am waiting for him in the backyard. "Spill it kid!" I say. "I uh, oh, mom, Um. Okay." He stammers. Just then the oldest comes running around. He has figured out what I am up to! "Hey Marlon, come here dude I gotta show you something" "No! thats it!" I yell "Tell it!" "Promise you wont be mad?" Marlon asks. "Hell no I don't promise. Fess up!" "But I don't wanna get in trouble" he whines. He is clearly scared. "Oh it will be much worse if I hear about it somewhere by someone else. If you tell me it will be less severe." "Let's just tell her Michael" he says pleading with his brother. "Tell her what man?" the oldest says "there is nothing to tell!" I keep my eyes on Marlon, never breaking away, he can feel the pressure. "Okay! okay" he yells. "We skipped school!" BINGO!

Then silence. I say simply "okay" and turn and walk into the house. Not another word. They laid low for the next hour. Fast forward to dinner. "So are we in trouble?" asks Marlon? "Yup" I say. "But we worked hard all day isn't that punishment enough?" he asks. "Nope" I say. Well what is the punishment?" he asks. "Oh it will fit the crime" I say. "Are we getting a spanking?" (this is funny b/c Marlon has had two spankings in his lifetime) Marlon informs me "Michael said if we got caught he would take double punishment because it was his idea." Michael pipes up "yeah if we got caught, not if you fold!" "Duh dumb boys did you not know that the school calls me when you are not there?" I remind them. "Yeah, but we were gonna try to ask to use your phone around that time and intercept the call" Marlon further confesses.

I grounded them for a week. Took away two weeks of allowance, and then I called the school and ratted them out. That last part I kept to myself. I waited two days to do it so that just when they thought they were clear BAMM! More punishment. Three days later they come home from school and both boys are pissed. Micheal says "Mom did you tell the school I skipped?" "Sure did" I say. "Why that was between us!" he says as if I owed him some alliance. "Oh because it is illegal to skip school not to mention immoral." I inform him. "Well you already punished us and now we are getting punished at school too!" "Good" I say and smile. The school informed me since they never made it to campus that day they actually could not do anything. But I used my clout with an administrator and he had the school resource officer show up and meet with him and the boys in his office to shake them up.

And, for now at least, there will be no skipping for a while.

When Nicotine Makes You Drop Your Morals (war of the neighbors final part)

2011-10-27T06:50:00.000-07:00

This is the end of the Neighbor war...until the next one. If you wondered how the war started you can click it and find out. Or if you are curious how the whole racism thing played out you can read part two. But when I left off, the neighbor and I had just had a bit of a nasty exchange over the phone when I had to go. Although things got yucky, I am the type of person who can dish it, take it, then move on. Which is what I expected to happen. I figured I would not go to the party to keep the neighbors emotions in check. I did want to go but I did not need any additional drama.
David and I discussed it, he is closer to them than I and he really wanted to go but again we decided to just lay low. Around 6:30p the neighbors son came and knocked at the door. I invited him in and he said "my mom and dad want to know if you guys are coming or not because there is plenty food and celebration." I made up some excuse and told him that my daughter had a bit of a cold so her being out at night was not good. He looked sad and left. I felt bad. I felt mad that I allowed the lady next door to influence me in such a way. I just honesty did not want to be in the drama. Two hours later a relative of the family that knows David came by and again asked if he was coming over. David told him he would not be attending because he had lots to do around the house and that was that. We both sat there felling bad about it.
The next day I did not hear or see the neighbor which is extremely odd. Neither did I the next day. Her blinds stayed closed all day. I was enjoying the peace but knew for sure when two days passed she was pissed. Which pissed me off. If I knew she was gonna act stank anyway I would have went. I also knew she was mad because she is on a fixed income but she smokes and from the 15th thru the 3rd (when she receives her check) I am her tobacco provider (another post all in itself) And I could imagine she was having quite the nicotine withdrawals. So for her not to call or come by to borrow some cigarettes told me she was pissed. On the third day I saw her on the side of my home walking her dog. Me and my two oldest kids were headed out to the grocery store. Usually if she is outside and sees us she beelines it to where we are then holds us hostage with her griping for an hour or so. She saw us come out and made no moves??
Maybe she feels bad about things now that she has had time to reflect so as I pulled out of my driveway I smiled and waved just to let her know we were cool. When I did that I swear she seemed to roll her eyes and turn her back to me! I was shocked! I then thought oh Roc, maybe you're imagining the eye rolling surely she is not that crazy. But when my oldest said "what is wrong with Jane why did she just roll her eyes like that at you?" I knew I was not crazy. If she is pissed at me than so be it. Let the war on this side begin! Thursday nothing from her again. Quiet as a mouse over there. Friday I pull up and she is outside walking her dog. Since she obviously has an issue with me I did not wave or say hello I went in to get my jacket and was headed back out to get in the car to leave and she came over and said coldly "hello" I icily said back "Well hello. I thought you were mad at me?" Shit lets call it out and deal with it because I did not have time for her shit. She then says "No I thought you were mad at me. I've been worried sick that you were upset." She puts her head down in her miserable-sympathy- evoking fashion. Always the victim. Oh no I thought. You are not getting away with it that easily. I then said to her "if you were not mad then why did you roll your eyes at me?" (don't BS me lady) She said "oh I did not roll my eyes." "Oh you sure did." I retorted "even my kids noticed." She said "well if I did it was not intentional. I've just been so busy deciding if I was gonna move or stay" she says. More BS. She's been threatening to move since she got here. She wants us to beg her to stay. "Well you obviously had a problem I say because when I waved you did not wave back, so if you did not roll your eyes, you definitely threw some attitude at me." She stammered around for an excuse for her behavior then said "oh no I knew you were in a hurry and I did not want to keep you." BULLSHIT!!!! Because, She has never cared if I was in a hurry or not! Never! Not once! Even when I have said I am in a hurry she will go on and on. Uggh.
So I said "oh well a wave is not a time sucker it's just a wave." I kept at it because I wanted her to admit she was mad so we could hash it out. She tried changing the subject and it took a mere minute before she said "well I have been without smokes for days. Could I borrow a couple?" Aha! I knew it! If she was not mad she would have been over asking for cigarettes! She then told me how she tried to make it without them but is having such withdrawals her head is pounding and she just can't go any longer without one. Further proof she was pissed. Remember this lil statement she made to me? "well You're better than me! I suppose you can just drop your morals and turn a blind eye to what's going on around here in the interest of good food!" It was really hard to not point out that she was dropping her morals for a smoke. I wondered then if I did not have something she so desperately needed would she have even spoke? Doubtful.
Anyways. Since that night we have started talking again, barely, but I have a whole new feeling about her. She has always annoyed me but I felt that she was helpless and needed my help. Now? Not so much. Now I feel that she will turn on you in a second should you not agree with her. Well lady you have met your match because although I gave up what I felt I should do to prevent her feelings I am done with that. And we have entered a new realm of reality she and I.

War of the Neighbors Part 2....Calling It What It Is.

2011-10-20T06:57:00.000-07:00

The Neighbor War started here in case you missed it.
Okay let's pick up on the story. The next day was Saturday...Party Day! I got up early and headed out to run some errands. Although completely irritated by the drama, I did feel bad for the neighbor (white lady) because she is an emotional wreck and I appear to be one of her two treasured friends. So I braced myself and gave her a call. I asked her how she was feeling and she said "oh I'm fine. I'm just keeping an eye on those people." She asked me if I planned on attending the "murderous festivities" next door. I simply said I was not invited. This is when she informs me that I was invited and apparently she was too. She tells me that an hour before the whole pig slaying event she was out walking her dog when she was approached by the Mexican woman next door. She said the woman approached her asked if she liked good food and the neighbor, hell we need to name her, so we'll call her Jane. Jane said yes I do and then the Mexican lady, we'll call her Judy, said "we are having a party to celebrate my baby's baptism and everyone is invited. Would you please consider coming by?" Then Jane tells me she responded by saying "if I can. And then I even reached out and shook her Mexican hand." That comment "Mexican hand" really pissed me off. Jane tells me that Judy left an invitation on my door which Jane removed once the fighting began because she knew "I would want no parts of their fiesta". Again I am getting more angry. She removed an invitation from my door?! That would be getting addressed very soon.
Since I was not home I ask Jane "are there many people there?" She said "oh its been up and down I have counted 11 different vehicles coming and going." I asked her "well is it loud?" I was tryna gauge what I was in for when I got back to my home. She said yes. (I called David after and he said he heard nothing) She then tells me that she had placed a call to our property owner and he came over and the both of them, Jane and the property owner, stood on Jane's porch and glared at them to "send the message that they were being watched". Again this comment and behavior annoyed me.
She told me that the Mexicans came over and brought the property owner a plate and invited him also. He spit in the food and threw it away. Jane thought that was hilarious. I was outraged! My blood was boiling and I just did not know how much more I could stand without voicing my true thoughts. Torn between being cordial with the neighbors and not totally alienating Jane which would lead to having to deal with another breakdown of hers I said "well if they send me a plate I'm definitely eating it." There was silence on her end and finally she asked "you are?" "Well, yes I am" I say. Her voice turned venomous and she asked "so do you plan on attending this lil fiesta?" "You know I'd really like to stop by as a courtesy, my kids do play with their kids and I did see a bouncy house on their lawn when I left. Not to mention I love me some Mexican food." She then said "well You're better than me! I suppose you can just drop your morals and turn a blind eye to what's going on around here in the interest of good food!"
Trying to throw a bit of humor in it because I could feel it coming on I said "yup you know I'll do anything for food, hell I'd trade one of my kids for the right meal" I started to laugh. I notice she is not laughing. She says "well I'd be careful who I hang out with because the first sign of noise or anything at all I'm calling the cops and unless you wanna be there when they get there I would not go." Is that a threat? Hmmm I say as I ponder that. I have no reason to be concerned about the presence of police.. Then comes the voice cracking on her end and shes says "oh Roc, if you go then they will think I am just some crazy lady down here starting stuff." Well ain't ya? Jane then begins to choke up as she says "I thought you were against what happened here." "I am" I explain, "but because I do not agree with a specific thing a person does doesn't mean I am better then them." "Well I for one have a moral fiber?" she retorts. Hmmmm sounded like she was saying I did not. Having enough now I responded with "I for one, am not a racist!" Jane yells "I am not a racist!" "Oh but you are" I say. Just admit it!" "No I'm not!"she yells again. "Listen just be honest. I can accept you for who you are, but you need to be honest with who you are and you are a racist!" "I was invited to that party" she says angrily and as a matter of fact I even shook her Mexican hand!" I paused wondering if she had any clue what she sounded like then said "case in point "her Mexican hand" Racist." "Okay okay maybe I am!" she yells. "I have had many experiences with non Americans and they have not been pleasant. Then she begins to explain that her parents were racists..shocker there right? But seriously at 50 you should have formed your own opinions. My mother was a racist too but I knew at 7 years old that was wrong and I was not one. She then says "my father fought in the war and to his death bed hated Germans and Koreans." I said "look I get that your generation can be that way but I am from a different time and my world is not that way. Neither do I want to be around it. You are entitled to your opinions and views but I do not share them and prefer to not deal with them." Just then I had another call beep in so I told her I would talk to her later and that was that.

The War of The Neighbors

2011-10-18T07:29:00.000-07:00

Oh good lord so here we go again...The war of the neighbors. Mexicans against Americans. Not good. Here is how it went down. As I leave for work on Thursday I notice my neighbors (Mexicans)....
Disclosure: before anyone comments on me calling them "Mexicans" I do not know their names and the fact that they are Mexicans play a huge part in this story so if that offends you, x out now. Thank you and have a nice day.
...have a port a john on their front lawn. Not cool I think but I know there are about 15 people living there so I assume that they need an extra toilet. Hell we have 6 people and 2 toilets and that is a challenge. When I arrive at work my neighbor (white lady).....
Disclosure: Again do not comment on the fact that I call her a white lady, I do know her name but her whiteness is crucial to the story. If that offends you x out now. Thank you and have a nice day.... Calls me. I answer the phone with attitude because guess what? I am at work! My greeting is this "I'm at work" She says "I know and I am sorry for bothering you but did you see that port a john on their front lawn?" "I did" I say. "Well I plan to do something about that."she informs me. "Okay you should, because I work.!!! talk to you later" I say.
Fast forward to 5pm. I m getting off and notice I have 13 missed calls! 5 of them were my neighbor. I am livid. Because I am naturally bitchy and annoyed and she knew I was working and called me so much. I call her back she answers and I say "is there a problem?" She pauses, probably shocked at my rudeness. Then she says "well yes there is." "Well what's the problem?" I ask. Here is the story she tells me almost just as she told me.......
"Well first of all those Mexicans have been busy as bees over there and I don't know what they are cooking up but honey they had about 5 trucks pull up and about 15 Mexican men busying themselves about the property." "Doing what?" I ask. "Oh honey they were a'sweeping and boiling large pots of water, cleaning and setting up tables. I wait for the bad part.....(sounds of birds chirping) She says nothing for a minute or so. I think she is shocked that I am not mad that "all those Mexican men were out their boiling water and such" She begins again "they parked their cars purposely where I could not see what they were doing behind them."
Another Disclosure: let me explain, her house is joined to mine. I am at the end of the street she is one spot up, they are beside her. There is a driveway between her side of the house and their home. This is where most of the time they park. Actually it is where they should park. So they were not blocking her view. They parked where they park.
So immediately I am annoyed at her description of their "sneakiness". Anyhoo, she tells me she went around her house from window to window tryna get a glimpse of what they were doing. Freaking busy body! Then when she couldn't get a view she decided to shower. It was then that she heard the most horrific howling sound. It was the sound of an animal in pain. When she looks out her window she sees two hogs hanging in a tree. This is not the first time there has been pigs slaughtered by them. She watches in horror as the guys slit the throat of one of the hogs. Then she runs out in her nightgown and starts screaming at them "what the hell are you doing! You Mexican M-fers! You sick bastards! Where do you think you are Mexico! Get that damn pig down now! You nasty bleep bleep bleep and so on. She continues throwing racial slurs at them as they stand there in shock. Then she begins to jump up and down and throw a good ole fashion fit. At this point they begin to laugh at her. She becomes outraged that they are "picking on her" "starting things with her" Laughing at her" so she screams "okay laugh spics, I'm going to call the cops!" And she storms in and does just that. At this point the guys load up the bleeding pigs and head out.
The police arrive and basically tell her they are not sure what the ordinances/codes are but they will go over and see what is going on . Which they do. They return and tell her that they will have to talk to the captain because they are not sure if killing pigs is illegal. She begins to shout out codes/laws at them and they tell her that for now they have removed the pigs and would not return with them until they were dead to spare her any heartache. She starts yelling at the police "did you check their papers? Are they legal? Did they have a receipt for those pigs? How do you know they are not stolen? What about sanitation code? What if the pig has a disease that is now spread across the lawns of everyone and her dog gets sick? And more stuff of the like.
They tell her that the neighbors are having a celebration to baptize their baby. And the pigs were to be cooked. That they meant no harm and they were just following their customs and did not realize they did anything wrong. They also sent word by the police that they meant no harm. The police seem to agree with them and tell her basically to just leave them alone. She them tells them that now that they have gone over and riled them up she is not safe. That they will probably do something to her and wants to know if the police are gonna do surveillance on our street for a while. They tell her she is in no harm. She then takes the route of "I am an American! I pay your salaries! I have rights to feel safe in my home!" etc etc .At this point I am sure that they have had it with her screaming at them so they leave. She informs me that she had told the neighbors "wait until Roc finds out about this! Oh she'll have you thrown off the street!"
I tell her to please keep my name out of her feuds. I will not have them thrown off the street. I have no such powers and have no desire to be in the middle of this feud. I explain to her that I totally do not agree with the pig killings here on on the block We are in the city limits and not out in the country where I suspect that may occur. And if I had been home I may have called the police too. I don't know what I would have done. But I would have tried to compromise with the neighbors, explain how I felt about it and that I definitely do not want my kids to hear or witness the killing of animals, but at the same time I love me some bacon. So maybe if they could kill their pigs somewhere else more appropriate, in a field somewhere that would be a good compromise. But I do not think they are bad people or illegals or killers. And I honestly felt that her complaints to the police would have been more effective had she stuck to the pigs and not all the Mexican slurs. She then began to cry and tell me that she feels horrible that ever since she moved here there has been nothing but trouble and she obviously is making it hard for me to socialize with "those kinda people". I try to calm her down and assure her I am not mad at her for she is entitled to her opinions but to keep my name out of it. I am capable of speaking up for myself. From here it goes severely down hill...Part two coming soon.
But in the meantime, so far, please tell me who do you think at this point is wrong them or her? Or neither?

Another Mystery Solved By Yours Truly

2011-10-05T06:00:00.000-07:00

So my boys newest hobby is a lil something called airosoft guns. Kinda like BB guns but safer. I'm no fan of guns and really do not want my boys playing with them. But....I pick my battles. Weed? Airosoft? Weed? Airosoft?....
Hmmm okay no weed but go ahead and shoot the shit outta each other. {Smile} Anyhoo they had to save up and purchase their own artillery. I thought that would buy me time to get them over this lil phase but nope. Funny how when they want something they will work like worker bees to earn the money. They were some grass-cutting, chore-doing, car-washing fools for a month or so. They earned quite a bit of cash and began ordering guns, ammo, and protective gear.
When the first guns arrived we had a lil safety lesson. And I laid down the rules.
1- No guns out and about
2- Always wear protective gear
3- There is a designated area behind our home in which they can play with them.
4- They are never allowed to aim the guns toward our home or in the general direction of civilization period.
5- The guns must be locked up when not in use ( they were provided with a locking cabinet)
6- Only play outdoors and gun indoors must be unloaded
7- The guns could only be use under my supervision
8- No shooting animals, property or other people

And for my amusement further safety measures I had them shoot each other in the rear in front of me so that could gauge the power of these guns. Because that's what the guns were for, shooting each other. Then I released them into the wild to shoot the crap outta each other. There was a time or two in which certain kids lost their privilege to play with the guns. I would catch them aiming east instead of west... that sorta thing.
For a while it went well. The biggest problem I had was that they would dress up in full army gear and go into the woods to play. From my kitchen window the view of them in full camouflage walking through the woods with a seeming rifle looked scary. Honestly that did not look so good. I'm sure my neighbors were thinking "there's our next high school shooter." It did look bad. If I had seen someone else's kid in the woods with guns I would have definitely judged her parenting. But since my neighbors are pig killing Hispanics, suspected crack dealers and a psycho older lady I did not really have to worry about my image. In fact it may even be good for them all to fear my children and I.
The only issue it caused me was there were eight trillion airosoft pellets at any given time rolling around on my floors. And trust me at 2am when you get up to pee and step on one.....Well lets just say it hurts. I got sick of seeing these green and white lil pellets everywhere; in my washer, dryer, vacuum cleaner etc. I instituted a fine of 75cents per pellet to be deducted from their allowances. I then had the joy of going around finding the pellets and collecting them to bring to the table at allowance day. Which went like this. "Okay I owe you $12 for chores....counting pellets, sounds of calculator typing,..... and now after the pellet deduction... you owe me... 50cents!"
Thank you!
That problem did not last long.
Then came a Sunday when David and I decided to go out to eat breakfast alone. We dropped princess off at a play date and left the boys home alone. When we pulled up later we heard them running through the house yelling "they're here! they're here!" Hmmm. I tried furiously to get the lock opened fast enough to catch them red handed in whatever they were doing...Eating in the living room, watching porn, who knew?? By the time I got in, nothing just 3 lil angels sitting on the couch watching TV. Yeah right. Who do they think I am? I investigated and interrogated them to find out just what had been going down while I was away and got nothing. Even the lil one would not fess up. After I counted up my smokes, measured my alcohol and checked the backyard for footprints I had nothing so I let it go.
Yesterday I decided to open up some windows to let in some air and noticed this.

Hmmmm, that's odd I thought. I did not catch right on. I proceeded to the next window and saw this.....

Weird huh? What would make these holes in my blinds??? Wait a minute.....Is that a green pellet on my window sill? Why yes it is. How did that get there I wondered. Then it dawned on me..... It was shot there! Hell naw! So three lil boys lost their guns and paid for new mini blinds. And now I know what they did while I was away.
What kinda things did you do when left home alone? Hit me with it so I can be prepared.

So What if the Whole World Knows I Watch Porn (red faced)

2011-09-27T05:39:00.000-07:00

One night a couple weeks ago I noticed my email alert on my phone was sending me mail failure messages in the middle of the night. Upon closer inspection it was telling me that my message failed to reach some recipients. I had sent no messages so I was not concerned. A day later a friend emailed me to ask what was up with the message I had sent him???
I had sent him no message to my knowledge. I did some investigating and realized that my email had emailed EVERYONE on my contact list an email attempting to sell them Viagra and Cialis at a cheap rate online. I was horrified. Not only did it mail that to everyone and by everyone I mean teachers, principles, work contacts, the pastor etc, but it had shared everyone's email address with everyone else. I had no clue why or what to do about it so I did nothing.
A few days later I checked my work email and I had an email from my personal account. I opened it not thinking and guess what? It was a porn link. And guess what else apparently I had emailed everyone that porn link. I was horrified. I sent everyone an apology email explaining that I did not know why that happened but I definitely did not send out porn to the pastor. This happened maybe three times and then a friend told me I had a malware virus? I installed some protection and disabled my mail feature on my phone which is where I suspect it came from and as far as I know it has stopped.
But OMG how freaking embarrassing is that? A techy person told me that can happen when you visit a porn site. That a virus can attack your phone and do things like send out emails to attack other peoples stuff. He also told me that you do not get a porn virus unless you have been to a porn site and apparently everyone but me knew that. *Gulp*
I may or may not have checked out a porn site on my phone one evening. Why am I telling everyone? Because apparently everyone already knows! I'm going to go change my identity now. But before I go have plastic surgery I just wanted to warn all you PTA soccer moms that be careful what you do online because your secret is not safe and you could end up like me and the dirty lil secret can be exposed. I can literally hear the teachers in their staff meeting saying "no wonder Marlon is failing English, his mother's addicted to porn". Oh the shame!

The Weed Post

2011-09-22T06:31:00.000-07:00

Having teen boys is both fun and entertaining but sometimes it can be stressful trying to find the medium. As my boys mold into men it is a constant challenge for me to find the balance between mommying them and letting them grow and learn life lessons on their own. I recently faced a challenge that was my hardest to date and wanted to share that and get some feedback.
My boys often will go down to our local park and play football with a bunch of kids from the nearby high school and middle school. I am one of those moms that constantly check up on them. Why? Because soon enough they will be out and away and I will not be able to check on them so while I can, I do. I also follow up on everything they do to ensure they are where they say they are and doing what they say they are doing. Why? Because I used to be a teenager. Last week my boys called to tell me they were going to the park to play football. About an hour later I rode by the park as I do every time just to peep out the scene. They were there with about 6 other guys sitting on a bench waiting for the rest of they guys to show up. I rode by and went about my business. I knew they would be there but I still come through so that they know "mom can roll up at anytime." I generally will check once and that is it but this day I thought I'd shake things up a bit. I decided to do a repeat drive by an hour or so later. This time I parked out of sight. I could see them they but could not see me.
Psycho? Naw, I just want to make sure my kids are not involved in any situations that they should not be. I parked my van about a block away and behind a tree lined area to begin my surveillance. The very first thing I noticed was our small town bad ass, we'll call him Aaron. My boys used to be friends with Aaron and his brother Danny until I found out they had been arrested many times and were really some bad kids with an unfit mother. So my boys have been instructed to no longer hang with those guys for about a year now. Problem is these boys walk to school too and live close by so they are around so to speak. So anyhoo I see Aaron. I am immediately pissed that Aaron is there. The next thing I notice is Aaron is smoking! And the next observation I make is Aaron is smoking weed. It was obvious from the way he held the joint. You do not hold a joint the same way you hold a cigarette.I was furious! I put my car in drive ready to roll up and cause havoc, call the law, show my ass that kinda thing.
Then I thought for a minute, put my car back in park and thought better to observe for a minute and see what my boys did. I was certain I would see them hit the weed. Not that I think they smoke at all but there was 12 guys there and I know peer pressure can be hell.

I watched Aaron make a big show of smoking the weed right there in public and then to my horror I saw him hold up the joint to my oldest son as if offering him a toke. My body went stiff as I waited to see what my son would do. Those two seconds were the longest two seconds of my life. I held my breath. My son shook his head "no". The boy seemed to persist that he give it a pull and still my son shook his head. Aaron then turned to my other son. Now this son is a goody-two-shoes so I knew he would say no especially if his older brother said no. As predicted my other son said No too.
Then an amazing thing happened I saw Aaron offer a hit to all the boys holding the joint up like anyone want some and they all said No. Not one taker in the entire group! That was my single most proudest parenting moment to date. I cannot explain the pride and love I felt when I saw both my boys say no to drugs in a park filled with guys. I was also proud for the other boys as well and proud that my boys are making good decisions not only about drugs but the company they keep. But I was also fuming at that lil bad ass Aaron for attempting to get my kids high. So I rolled up. I pulled up to the curb, the game stopped, all the boys looked at the van. Aaron immediately tried to drop the joint slickly by his side, hoping I did not see him. I rolled down my window and said "Aaron, go ahead pick it up! I know your smoking weed." He just kinda rolled his eyes. I said again "go ahead pick it up! Smoke it up! If your own mother don't give a damn about you down here getting high and you don't care about yourself why hide from me?" I was pissed I wanted to get out an whop Aaron's ass and go find his momma and beat her down as well. This is the type of kid that influences others to do bad things. I then said to him "I could care less about what you do but you keep that shit away from my kids!"
I then called my kids over to the car. I asked who had the weed and how many kids were down here smoking it. They told me two boys out of 12. Aaron and some other hispanic kid who had brought the weed to the park. I told warned them "you better not engage in this at all! You never know when I'm gonna roll up." They nodded and went back to play ball.
It was then the hardest parenting moment. I wanted so badly to get my kids in the car and take them home I did not want them around this. But I realized they have to face these types of challenges and make choices without me. They are young men now, not my little babies I can swoop up and keep safe watch over 24 hours a day. So against my bleeding heart I drove home and left them there. Hoping and praying that Aaron did not eventually wear them down. It was so hard to realize that I cannot protect them from this and god knows what else.
When my boys showed up for dinner I did a marijuana check, check the eyes smelled their fingers for the scent of smoke and even monitored how much dinner they ate. We talked about the situation and I told them I had been watching and say them say No. I was so very proud of them. I just hope they stay strong enough to keep saying no.
Wondering what other parents would have done in that situation?

My Summer Wrap Up Poem With Pics

2011-09-20T05:57:00.000-07:00

Summer started out with a real big smile.

We loaded up the kids for a trip to Wet N Wild.

Although they look crabby they really had fun. They were just tired from all of that sun.

The trip was to celebrate MJ's birthday! But in true Princess fashion we had to celebrate many, many ways!

Then a few days later came mommy's birthday.

The party was fun and the gifts were all great .....

..until some lil snotty nosed kid blew out the candles on my cake.

And boy was I pissed, just look at my face!

We got a Y membership and spent lots of time at the pool. Where my teens joined in senior aerobics because they are so cool.

Then we had a cookout just the kiddos and us. Hotdogs, burgers and even a cake.
I got tipsy and rode the tractor around the neighborhood causing everyone to awake!

Oh and then there is the neighbor. Who is a part of my every day.

The only way I can get some peace from her would be to move away.

We decided to go out to the lake and jet ski with friends, that day was a blast the fun did never end!

Then to mundane things like checkups for the boys.

They love when I take pics of then and post them on facebook for all to get joy!

Poor little Pooty got poison ivy ten times.

He tried to hide it from me but this crossed the line!

MalloryJane's pet millipede sadly passed away.

She still thinks he is sleeping, to this very day.

We had family up for a cookout that was meant to be fun and light.

Until too many drinks caused these two to get into a fight

But the biggest surprise of the summer was my ten year old son became a lady!

And soon after that we discovered he was having a baby!

The older boys aquired a new hobby I dislike. They are adddicted to airsoft guns.

They play then all day into the night.

The biggest event of the summer was probably when I got back together with my 12 year lover. All we did was fight for the last 4 years.

But now we are happy as larks as you can see here.

So as you can see our summer was full of all kinds of events and you know the deal.

A day in Raquel's World can be such a bad trip.

But an entire summer in Raquel's World, well that is the SHIT!

Discrimination or Keeping it Real? PART 2

2011-09-08T06:00:00.000-07:00

This is part two to the haircut story. Part one is essential to this so check it out here.

We are now an hour and a half into what should have been a 30 minute or less haircut. Esther and I have gone back and forth and I am hoping she now knows what to do. "It has been a while since I cut this angular of a bob" she tells me "so I'm going to have someone come help me." She turns to Melinda and says "she wants a more angular cut and I can't remember how to do that. Could you help me?" Melinda looks annoyed I'm sure is thinking look biaatch I have my own three clients I'm working on. It is now actually only just two. Melinda says "I need to wash the dye out of her hair and then I'll be right there".

I sit and wait 10 more minutes and then Melinda comes over and looks at my head and asks "what exactly are you trying to do Esther?" Esther begins to explain and Melinda says "no, no you are going about it all wrong. You see you need to cut from the front to the back." She takes the scissors from Esther and begins cutting my hair on the right side. "See how I do this? You see how I pull each piece back to the start point? You see Esther?" She explains in haircutter language just what she is doing so that Esther can get it. Now you try. She gives Esther the scissors back and Esther cuts a piece or two of hair. "Good Esther. You got it now? Just remember, front to back, front back. Whatever you do, do not cut back to front. That will give you an entirely different cut" Melinda walks off I glance at the side Melinda has cut in less than 4 minutes, it is perfect! Okay now Esther has it. Esther spins me to the wall again and starts cutting. She is muttering and mumbling and seems stressed. She calls Melinda back over to check her work out. Melinda comes over and yells "What did you do? Esther what the hell did you do? Does this side look like the side I did? How did you cut it. Did you do front to back like I told you to?" "No" Says Esther with her head down like a scolded child. "I did back to front" she says ashamed. "What did I tell you Esther? I said don't do it that way! Now you have messed it up! There is no way to fix this, just give me the scissors while I try to fix this!" she yells and starts cutting angrily at my hair. I am in the middle of this and am quite uncomfortable. But hope that at least Melinda will fix what ever the hell Esther has done to my hair. Melinda walks off annoyed and leaves Esther to "tighten up the ends."

Esther says "I'm sorry I just couldn't do it." "It's okay" I tell her "Melinda seems to have fixed it." "Well still, I am sorry" she says again "I really am." I tell her not to worry about it it is fine. She says "I just get so nervous." "I understand" I tell her. Although I am pissed it has been over two hours and my hair is still not how I wanted it. I do not want to make her feel worse. She must be horribly embarrassed. Melinda did chastise her in front of everyone. But Melinda probably has to bail out Esther quite a bit and is sick of it. Anyway, Esther finally finished. The result? The side Melinda did is perfect. The other side?...not so much. But it's not horrible. But it still was better than the first style Esther gave me. I get to the front to pay and hand Esther a sympathy tip and she says "no I do not deserve it" and hands it back. I give it back and tell her "hey you tried." "No, I do not want this tip."she says. I did not even cut it right." "True, but you did spend a lot of time on it. And please give this to Melinda" I hand her an additional tip for Melinda. "She had to take time from her clients to help so she should get something." I explain. "I will give her both tips" Esther says pathetically. I just no longer have the energy to deal with this "Esther" so out the door I go! OMG what an event.

These pics suck but since you all asked for them here ya go! You can't really tell it's lopsided but trust me it is.

Old Hairdo

New Hairdo

Discrimination or Keeping it Real? PART 1

2011-09-06T10:22:00.000-07:00

I have the WORST luck when it comes to hair salons. The worst! In fact, I've blogged about it before. Well this time is even worse than the last. This experience is so hard to believe that it will take two posts just to share it. Here goes...
I realize you get what you pay for but I am a budgeter and $50 on a haircut just doesn't fly with me so I usually go to the cheap place. I can sometimes get a cut for less than $10. I decided to step it up a bit and go to the $15 salon, in the hopes that the slightly higher price will mean a better quality cut.
I arrive there at 11am. there is a glamour looking girl with three customers lined up in the back. She is dying one head, perming one, and cutting another. She must be good, I thought. I step up to the sign in sheet and notice where you select a stylist everyone had "Melinda". I did not know Melinda so I just signed in. Melinda, whom was doing 3 girls head at once, hollers to the back "ESTHER!"
A lady who looked a hot mess peered out from the back room. Melinda yells to her "she's here for a haircut." "Oh, says Esther, I just assumed she was here for you, since everyone else is." Esther comes up to greet me. I notice she has a pretty sever limp. That worries me.

Looks like Esther

Hey don't judge me!

As she drags her limp leg behind her I am panicking I can just tell this is gonna be bad. Esther's hair looks dried up, frizzy, out of style etc.
Esther is old.
Esther looks absent in the brain.
Esther is squinting like she can barely see.
Oh Shit Oh shit I am panicking. I want to run out of the salon but I decide that is not the right thing to do. Calm down I tell myself her leg has nothing to do with her haircutting abilities. So I smile at Esther and ask if she will be cutting my hair, I am secretly hoping she is just the shampoo girl. She says she will be cutting my hair. She then rears back and tosses a deadish arm onto the counter. What the hell? I try not to stare at the arm but come on you got to be kidding me? How can she cut my hair with no feeling in her arm? Oh My god. Okay now I am freaking out. Her arm does not work. I look around the salon nervously hoping someone will save me but.... nope. I know it is wrong and I do not want to discriminate but I do not want a one-working arm person cutting my hair. Oh god, this can't be good. But then I tell myself if she could not cut hair she would not be working here. I chastise myself for discriminating and decide to put a smile on my face and trust Esther.
I feel it in my gut. This is not gonna turn out well. But It would be very discriminatory if I walk out now so I am stuck. I ask Esther for a hairstyle book. She hands me one for men? Damn Esther can you even see? I am a woman! That worries me. I tell her I will need a woman's book and she apologizes and takes 15 minutes locating a book for me. I quickly find what I want, a simple bob.

A Simple BOB

I ask Esther if she can do it, she says a "piece if cake." So off we go. When we arrive at her booth she turns my chair completely around from the mirror. She gets to work a snipping and cutting, never once turning me to face the mirror, so I am clueless. An hour later she is done. I look in the mirror.
What the hell Esther?
This is not a bob!
I look like....................................................................................................................................................
Esther.
I have shoulder length choppy uneven hair. She raves about the great cut and says "don't you love it?" I do not want to hurt Esther's feelings but I am so sick of leaving a salon with some crap ass hair cut. So I act like it is me. I say " I know I did not make it clear (lie, because I did make it clear and showed her the picture) but I want it shorter." "Shorter?" she asks in disbelief. "Yes, you know, like the picture." I remind her. "Oh well I like it longer" she says. "Well that's nice Esther but I want it shorter, like the picture." "Are you sure?" she asks me. 'Yup" I say. "Okay" she says. She then cuts again for about 30 minutes and then spins me around to face the mirror.
It looks exactly the same!
"Esther I really would like a short, blunt defined cut." I say trying to decide if I should just give up and go home. It's already been an hour and a half. "Oh she says. I like this cut better" "Well it is not your hair Esther and I want a short bob." "Can you do that?" I ask her. Yes I have been cutting bobs for years. I am capable of cutting a bob. I just do not think you would look good in a bob." Odd that she did not tell me that an hour and a half ago when I choose that particular style. "Well I want one and its my hair I say." becoming a bit irritated. "You are right" she says and recoils as if I had scolded her. "Okay, okay. I'll cut the bob" Esther relents.
You won't believe what happens next stay tuned for part two.
Question though...Honestly.

Do you think It was discriminatory for me to feel the way I felt about Esther's capabilities to cut my hair once I saw her handicap? Would you have allowed Esther to cut your hair?

I Really Gotta Work On That

2011-08-30T06:31:00.000-07:00

Last week, one late afternoon I opened my front door to check the mail and Bam! The neighbor was mere feet away from my porch. See she parks her car on the front lawn because "she doesn't want to be in danger of being attacked by the Mexicans" If she parks in the parking area out back she feels the lighting is not suffice and she is in danger.
Although I have been parking in the lot behind our home for years. Not once had I ever been attacked by "the Mexicans". LOL She claims the lighting is not suffice in the back. The lighting is fine. What is it with this lady and lights? Personally, I think she is just too lazy to walk the 15 steps from the lot to the door. So she pulls her car right up to her front door and that is where she parks it. Unsightly because we share a front yard and her car is the main attraction on the lawn. And when she actually does goes anywhere the grass is all dead and brown underneath it and it is such an eye sore but whatever. (Wow I guess I had to rant on that.) I really am just trying to explain why she is right at my front door when I open it.
Anyhoo, there she was. I stammered caught off guard. You see it is so hard to get away from her once she gets going. I said hi and she said "Oh I need to see you! Thank goodness you came out!" "See" I say all smarty pants and spin around so she can get a full view. (bitchy huh? and I am not even PMSing) . Sigh, Why can't I just check my mail in peace?
I make a lil small talk and she tells me she needs me to come over that it is important. Going into her home is like a trip to that Hotel California place in that song. You can come in but you never get out. But what could I say? Unable to come up with an excuse fast enough I just gave in and went in.
She asked me to sit down and she went to fetch a small trunk. All I could think about was the time I came over and she went through her families entire history with me showing me photos and such. She sits down and unfolds this blue velvet cloth. Attached to the cloth are many forms of jewelry.

She starts pulling each piece out and telling me its history. Awesome another history lesson! I can hardly contain my excitement. None of the jewelry appears real it is all costume jewelry. But much of it is very pretty. She then hands me a pair of earrings and says "I want you to have these." Although they were not real they were beautiful. I said "No way I'm not taking your jewelry." By the time I say that she has chosen 5 other pieces to give me, all really pretty. She pulls a few more pieces from her collection and explains that she has to sell them off for cash but a couple pieces she cannot bear to sell to a stranger. She says her momma gave them to her to pass down to her daughter someday and since she never had one I am the closest thing to a daughter for her and she wants me to have them. Silence from me.

Yes, I felt like shit! I immediately think of all the blogging I have done about her. So much that I was considering renaming my blog THE NEIGHBOR. I thought of how mean I am sometimes and I feel like shit. I do not deserve her cherished heirlooms and I try to decline taking them but she insists. So I took them. 8 pairs of earrings, 2 bracelets, 2 toe rings, 2 anklets. Real cute stuff. She tried to give me some pins but I explained to her that they really would not be worn and would not see the light of day if she gave them to me. Women in their 30's don't wear breast pins. You guys don't.... do you?
Anyway. I felt bad. She does have a good heart and means well. I just need to be more patient. I'ma work on that.

The Erotic CookOut???????????????????

2011-08-25T07:17:00.000-07:00

So last weekend we decided to have a campfire in the yard with the kids. The plan was to build a fire pit and hang with the kids. Let them roast weenies on a stick and marshmallows. We would catch lightning bugs and ride bikes in the dark etc. Then after the kiddos wore down we would have some adult time to drink some wine and talk.

Well RA is an outdoor guy and I am not. It is not uncommon for him to go out late with the kids and do things like that. Since I am usually in need of a break I will generally let him hang out with the kids late in the yard and I would enjoy some much needed alone time. In the past when RA is outside the neighbor who is attention starved will hang out there with him and I like that because it kept both of them out of my hair for a couple hours.

This evening was different. I had planned on being out with everyone. So RA headed outside at dusk to build the fire pit and get some things together. I was indoors preparing snacks and activities. I noticed the neighbor come out and talk to him and I guess she thought it would be another night of them hanging out. As I prepared the snacks I noticed the neighbor bringing things out too. I was cool with that I figured we would give her attention as we were planning to do with the kids and then she would be out of our hair for the evening. I think she had other plans.

I came out to bring the plate of snacks and noticed that the neighbor had brought out a table and filled it with candles. I thought "how nice of her". As I set my kids toys up and such I noticed on the table there was a bottle of wine. I continued on with the work of getting things together and apparently she did as well because 15 minutes later when I came back out I saw that she had not only set out candles and wine but she had brought a CD player out???I thought to myself, she has just joined right in and laughed a little. But as the night darkened, I noticed something about the setup. It was mighty damn romantic. Candles, wine, and on the CD player she had a Barry White CD playing?

Odd cookout music I thought. But the most interesting thing I noticed was she had only brought out two chairs...one for her and one for RA. It appeared she has set up a lil special evening for her and a special someone. Once I came out she seemed surprised. "oh didn't expect to see you out here tonight" she said. "Oh yeah this was actually my idea" I informed her. "Oh well I guess I wont intrude" she said sounding very disappointed. Which I found odd since she had obviously been excited about hanging out here before my presence was known. I said to her "oh please stay, enjoy some wine and have some grilled food and just hang for a bit. You obviously have gone through a bit of trouble" I looked over at the romantic set up trying not to laugh. She agreed to stay. She and I sipped wine under the tree while the kids played and RA cooked. She had not had that much wine but what really annoyed me is that she spent the entire time raving about the RA. How he was such a good dad, and a good cook, and how handsome he was and blah blah blah.. which I found odd since things with the RA and I were on uneasy terms and she knew that. She and I had held a few "trash him sessions".

Suddenly she was his biggest fan. I was sipping wine so I found this entertaining. I watched her stare at him and rave about him and call upon him to do everything. She has made a nickname for him...DA-Veed- A fancy way of saying David. Every 5 minutes or so she would holler out "OH DA-Veed, can you pour me some wine? OH Da-Veed can you help me get this tip open? OH Da-Veed can you make me a burger?" etc. It was ridiculous but hen she reached a ridiculous point where she hollered out "Oh Da-Veed can you spray my Tootsies with bug spray?" RA if nothing else is a super friendly nice guy so he was rushing around trying to fulfill all her requests and when she asked hm to spray her feet off he looked confused. Because come on even though she acts 90 she is in her 50's and perfectly capable of pouring her own wine and spraying her own feet but the whole scene was entertaining.

He took the bug spray and she cocked back into her chair and raised her feet right up.

RA sprayed and she began this erotic yelping and moaning that was just wrong on so many levels. It was like "Oh, yes, yes! Ummm, ahhh, Da-Veed it feels so good, Ohh, Oh, ahhh, Mmmm!" It was really outta control and inappropriate but we both knew she is a lil loopy so we just ignored her. But she writhed in her chair with pure ecstasy and it was very uncomfortable. Anyhoo, not long after that I shooed her away because seriously enough was enough.

But OMG what a freaking side show!

One Friend Down

2011-08-23T06:40:00.000-07:00

So back to my "friends". If you recall I was getting overwhelmed with my new found friends and was trying desperately to maintain the balance of what I needed to do as a mom and a woman yet keep my friendships. After turning down many offers to hang out, an opportunity came where three of my neglected friends were all meeting up at the pool for dinner and swimming. I really did not feel up to it but then decided this would be a great way to get time in with all of them at once. Hey I could even invite my friend that just moved back to NC. She is living close to the the pool we all go to and I could use my guest pass.
I contacted my friends at the pool to let them know I would be bringing Lisa and her son and was excited for them to meet her as well. I then called Lisa and invited her and Daniel along. She said they would be there. Then I loaded up my family and headed for the pool.
When I arrived at the pool it was a lil awkward. See my friends all try to get along for my sake but they secretly don't like each other much. I was hoping that with time they would grow on each other. I was there maybe 10 minutes when in walked Daniel. "Hi Daniel!" I said. I noticed no mom was with him. "Daniel is your mom parking the car?" I ask. "I don't know" he replies. Five minutes later, no Lisa, so I say to Daniel again "where is your mom?" "oh she left" he says. "What do you mean she left?" I ask. "She had some stuff to do." he says simply. "Is she coming back" I asked. "I think so" he says. "Well what did she say? Where did she go?" I hit him with a barrage of questions. I just cannot believe again that Lisa dropped her kid off and did not tell me anything. This behavior is so unlike the Lisa I knew before. She would never even let the boy out of her sight.
My friends pick up on the situation and have lots to say.
"Where is your friend?" they ask sarcastically.
"Is she coming?"
"Did she just drop him off?"
"Did she ask you to watch him?"
All reasonable questions that I did not have the answers to. I'm thinking maybe she forgot something at home or went to get food. Surely, Lisa will be here any minute, I assure them. An hour passes no Lisa. I'm getting annoyed at this. An hour later the pool is closing in 45 minutes so I call Lisa.
She answers and I say "hey where are you?" "At home resting" she says. "Oh I thought you were coming to the pool" "Naw" she says. "Oh... well.... okay... it would have been nice if you'd told me I'd have to watch Daniel" I say to her. "You don't. They have lifeguards there." she informs me. "Hmmm, alright" I say. Then there is a silence. She says "why is he a problem?" Clearly not getting the point. "No not at all" I say "but I thought you were coming too." "No, hadn't planned on it" she says. "Well you are coming to pick him up right?" I ask "Oh I thought I'd get him from your house later, that way we can hang out a bit" she informs me. "I really had not planned on having company and I came out to spend time with you but you left" I say. There is another loooong silence. "Well I'll just come over and get him now" she says clearly upset. "No he's fine, hell the pool closes in 45 minutes anyways and I am leaving when they close just make sure you are here by then" I am ready to hang up because this is not going well. "Nope I'll just come now" she insists. We hang up. My other friend who overhears this convo, let's call her Mary, says "that's messed up she just dumped her kid off and did not tell you anything?" I just sit there not knowing what to say. "Are you mad?" Mary asks me. "I'm not mad, just irritated" I say thinking this is why I don't do the "socializing thing"
15 minutes later Lisa shows up. The reception from my friends is less than friendly. They have decided they do not like Lisa already. I can't blame them, that was not a good first impression. I try to small talk with Lisa because the tension is so obvious. Eventually the pool closes and we are headed out to our cars. Lisa asks if my son can go home with her and Danial for a sleepover. I say that would be fine but he has no clothes. "Oh that's okay, I'll follow you home and you can get him some" Lisa offers. Mary overhears this exchange and in her attempt to save me from unwanted company she interjects "You are not going home Roc are you?" Lisa gives her a look. I had already told Lisa I was going home, but of course Mary did not know that. It is now obvious to everyone what is going on. Lisa is well aware that I am trying to avoid having her come over. AKWARD. Again it had nothing at all to do with Lisa I was just done for the day. We had been at the pool for hours it was 8 o'clock, I had kids to settle and I was tired too. I stammer to recover form Mary's lie that was picked up on by Lisa and I say "Oh Mary I changed plans, I am going home, Lisa just follow me home and well get his clothes" I say and off we go.
When I pull up to my home Lisa is there waiting in her truck. I had stopped by Mcd's to get the kids some ice cream. I pull up and tell Marlon to quickly pack as to not keep Lisa waiting much more. I hop out of my van and tell Lisa come on in, "No she says, I will wait out here" she says. "No come on in" I insist. "No you made it clear you do not want company and I will respect that and wait nicely out here". Sound of crickets chirping as I do not know what to say to that. I try again to convince her to come in I feel compelled to explain, "its not that you cannot come in, I just am not up for company." I try to explain. "I understand. I will wait out here." She says.Which she did. And with the exception of her dropping off my son the next day I have not heard from her in a couple weeks. And I have upset yet another friend. But don't worry in the next couple weeks I manage to upset pretty much all of them one by one. Hence why I prefer to have very few friends.
Here is what my future will soon be like.

Who Does That?

2011-08-12T07:05:00.000-07:00

Saturday night I get a facebook message, my friend from years ago that had moved is back; just got in last night and wants to come by the next day. I am excited that she is back however I had plans already for the next day. So she asks if she can come pick up one of my sons to spend the day with her and her son tomorrow. I say sure. Plans are made.
The next day there is a knock on the door. Her son (13 years old now) enters. Mind you, I have not seen this family since he was 8? I say hi and get the greetings out of the way. It is just him so I am assuming his mom is parking. After 5 minutes no mom enters so I ask him "Daniel, where is your mom?" "Oh she went to pick up a friend" he says. I'm thinking he's joking so I get up and look out the window, no mom. I am shocked that she did not come in or tell me she would be dropping Daniel off. I am shocked and a little irritated.
15 minutes later my friend arrives and in tow is a guy that many years ago she hung out with. A guy she knows that I dislike very much. She informs me that he will be joining them on their outing. I share my concerns with her about the dude and she tells me that he has changed so much and really gotten his life together. Apparently he had been a good friend to her over the years. Although I still don't like him, I relent.
So off they go. A couple hours later I am knee deep in laundry, I have 4 different pots going on the stove, a toddler in the tub, and mop water ready to go. I had been cleaning all day and cooking a big meal. It is Sunday and all my kids are home and I wanted to have a big Sunday family dinner. They return and I spend 15 minutes being social and then explain that I have lots of housework to do so I must excuse myself to get busy. hint hint Oh okay she says and continues chatting with her friend ( the one I do not like) meanwhile I am folding laundry and cooking. I need to get the floors mopped prior to dinner and I need to get the linens changed in the back of the house but of course I cannot just leave people sitting in my living room. So I hint a bit more to no avail.
After a while she asks if I want to go walking. "Umm, no I am getting ready to have dinner with my family" I say. Hint Hint "Oh how nice" she says. She proceeds to tell me she has temporarily moved back to her parents and just can't stand being there so she has to have a "go-to place" to regain her sanity. Apparently I am the planned "go-to place." While I sympathize with that. I so am not the place. I work full time, four kids...................why do I feel like I say that in every post? Like that is my name, Hi, I am Raquel-Work-Full-Time-Have-Four-Kids.
Another 45 minutes passes my dinner has been done and is sitting on the stove. The freshness draining away each moment. I do not want to eat in front of them. I do not have enough to invite them to stay and I am hungry, my kids are hungry but my company is just not getting the hint.

They continue to hang out socializing. I am becoming more annoyed by the second. I worked hard on that dinner and it is drying out on the stove while I await every ones exit. Finally I try a more direct approach and list off all the stuff I have to do including feeding my kids. She still seemed oblivious. Her friend then says he needs to get going. Thank God I think. But then she says to my horror. "I'm gonna run him home and I'll be back to hang out". "No!" I almost yell. "No hanging out tonight for me." I stammer as she looks at me horridly. A light pops on and she says "oh we are intruding huh?" "Yes" I say honestly. As soon as I do I see the hurt in her face and I feel very rude after all she just got in from another state last night. I have not seen her in years but come on! She then asks if her son can stay over. I truly am not in the mood for more kids but I figure she did take my kids skating so... I say sure and the plans are set for her to return in the morning to pick up Daniel while I am at work.
The next day I return form work and enter my home to a stank ass smell. "What is that?" I immediately ask my boys. I continue sniffing around "it smells like a wet nasty dog in here" I say disgusted at the scent. My son then tells me "Oh Lisa brought her dog in when she came to pick up Daniel." What the hell? Who does that? I have no pets and care to have no animals running around inside my house. I did not know if the dog has fleas, shots whatever! And either way I do not want animals in my house. I am furious. I yell at my boys for letting her bring the dog in and that's when my oldest says "well you can take that up with Lisa she says they will be back around 6."

The next day I did not hear from Lisa. It was my intent when I spoke with her to make a planned time to get together. I am totally not trying to dis my friend but she is a carefree unscheduled spirit. I am not. I decide I am too exhausted to try to do anything more than what must be done around the house. The boys go for a sleepover and I am looking forward to a quiet relaxing night with David. We put the little ones to bed and make plans for romance. I run a much needed bubble bath. I am so looking forward to a nice evening.
It is 845p. I lower myself into the relaxing bubbles, put my feet up and reach for my wine glass ready to unwind. Just as I exhale I realize that I forgot to get my scrubby. So I holler for David.
Mason comes instead and says "dads outside". I ask "outside for what?" "Oh Lisa's here" he says "WTH! Lisa's here now?" I ask. "Yup" he says "her and Daniel". I check the clock its almost 9pm WTF? I get up at 5a to go to work. I have kids in school that go to bed at 8. Who does that? I am fuming and panicked thinking I am gonna have to ditch my bath and deal with this and I am so not in the mood. As I sit there frantically trying to figure out a nice way to disappoint her yet again David enters. I brace myself for him to say Lisa's in the living room. But he tells me he told her I was in the tub and she left. He says she looked disappointed. I feel bad but seriously I am too busy for this ish.
Dodged the bullet that night but I will have to face this sooner or later. Just glad its not tonight.

Friends?????

2011-08-11T05:55:00.000-07:00

I have been MIA...Miss me?
Sure ya did.
Please allow me to explain. Work picked up quite a bit for me, and I was given a marketing assignment with a deadline and since I hate marketing that took a lot of time but now I am back and hopefully I can stay back.
Just as I have neglected my blog apparently I have neglected my friends as well. I know that a while ago I posted about how I had very few friends and liked it that way. Well that changed. See, a new girl started on my job a couple months ago and really pursued being friends with me. She was so nice and so persistent that I decided what the hell? She is the type of person that stays out of her house ALL day into the night. She gets the kids out early and they do not return home until bedtime. Me,,,I love being at home but upon her insistence that I was "missing out on life" I decided to try her lifestyle out for a while. And just like her and with her I stayed going, going, going. Pretty much for an entire month. Every day. It was work then gym and then pool. Weekends were full of pool parties and barbecues. All fun stuff but meanwhile my home was neglected........

An accurate pic of what my home looked like while I tried living in the moment.

my kids never ate so much bbq and sandwich meat. We ran outta clean socks, the linens rarely got changed, I was way behind on my TV shows and my blogging and I was dead tired.

Finally I decided enough was enough and pulled back. No more hanging out til bedtime for me and my kids. No more pool 6 days a week, no more anything . I stopped cold turkey because seriously I was living someone else life. I am a scheduled-stay-at-homer. I enjoy life but do not have a "zest" for it. I have no desire to "make every minute count". That is just not me! I'm not an an adventurous type that lives in the moment. In my defense I work full time and have four kids. None of my friends have that load on them. But boy when I stopped hanging out it caused controversy. The friends I had been hanging out with took it personally and even after I explained that I just don't enjoy being out every night it did not seem to help. Add to that the fact that one of my dear friends from the past that had moved out of state returned and wanted to spend all her time with me in the middle of me taking my life back.
At least daily I would get 10 calls/texts from a group of 4 women wondering when I would have time to hang out? Or how come I'm not at the pool? Or when can we go walking? How about breakfast? After I declined every offer the unannounced visits to my home started . And boy let me tell ya I hate unannounced visitors to my home! Despise them! Would rather die than have someone bust by unannounced. If you call me and I don't answer either I'm busy or do not want to be bothered! Ugggghh!!!
I try so hard to be nice, but damn.
So anyhoo I have some stories for y'all about all these "friends " of mine and the complications but won't try to put them all here in this post. In addition to that I have been to the urologist and that too is a post :) And of course an update on David and kiddy stories so trust me I got the goods I just need to have time to post them.
Just wanted people to know I was still around and ask does anyone else hate friends as much as me? Okay I don't hate them but does anyone else feel friendships are more a hassle then anything else? Or do I just have needy friends? Why do I feel like friends are another chore on my to do list? I have fun with them when I'm with them for the most part but it just never seems to be enough. Or am I just damn mean?

Help! Help! My Light Is Out.

2011-07-28T06:34:00.000-07:00

So now that we got that outta the way. I will resume bitching. The topic today is a reliable one.....The Neighbor.

Since she watches my home 24/7, she knows all my business so she knew about the RA...and in good faith lets just go back to calling him David. She was one of the people who had the strongest opinions on us splitting up. She would say things like "don't take him back", "you deserve better" etc. When I told her he was coming back she seemed uninterested until she saw him. He pulled up and she came running out and rushed over to tell him how
glad she was that he was back........
and how much he was missed.......
and how we needed a man down there with us to keep us safe......
and fix things.........
and she was so excited that he was back she was gonna make a list of all the things that she needed fixed in her house...
sound of record scratching.
Say what? Did she just say she would make a list of all the things she needed him to do at her house? WTH? Excuse me neighbor but the works been piling up over here as well, not to mention he and I may want to spend some time working on our relationship, oh and then there are those thing we call kids running around there that may need a lil time and attention. And by the way he works 6 often 7 days a week sun up to sun down. Just when the hell did she think he was gonna have time to be her handyman?
Fast forward two days later she calls me and says "is David around?" I know she knows he wasn't bc she conducts 24/7 surveillance on my home. I tell her he is at work. "Oh my, I have an urgent situation and need his help." By the way she rents so the land man can fix her stuff and we also have a handyman around there for repairs and yard work. She just doesn't like him bc he is Mexican.
"What's wrong?" I ask
"Oh my, it's serious" she says
"I'm sure" I say rolling my eyes "what's the problem?"
"My light in my bathroom has blown out and I cannot climb a ladder, I may fall. Could David come over and change the bulbs for me?"
"Sure I say "he is very busy right now (see list above) but he'll get to it within the week."
"Okay, well its really urgent, I cannot bathe, and when I get in and out of the shower I am enveloped in such darkness. I may fall, or anything. It is really scary to shower in the dark and taking a bath well that is just impossible with the lack of lighting." she explains
"Okay, he'll get to it soon" I hang up.
The next night at 8pm, he was just pulling up from work, she began to ring my phone repeatedly. I was busy but when I saw 4 missed calls I thought I better make sure she is okay. I called her and said "hi are you okay?"
"Well no I need my light fixed."
I'm pretty sure I said within the week I'm thinking now aggravated.
"Well I have a kidney problem and need to soak my back. I need to sit in the tub but simply cannot without proper lighting. It's just not safe"
Silence on my end,,,(I'm biting my tongue)
"Well I guess I could just shower tonight, I have some pain meds I can just take them until I am able to soak" she says.
Silence again from me
"Do you think he'll get over here soon?" she asks
"Within the week" I simply said
"Okay sorry to bother you" she says and hangs up.
The next day I pull up and she was all hunched over depressed and pitiful in the front yard.I said Hi to her and she carried on with her pitiful display. It annoyed me so I had to say something. I said "seriously are you acting this way over a light bulb?"
"No I'm sick, in pain" she says. Probably because we did not get her light fixed.
When I cooked dinner that night I brought her a plate, (as I do several times a week)
When I brought the dinner over she wanted to show me her newly decorated bedroom so I came in and checked it out. I noticed when we passed the bathroom the lighting seemed fine.
So I said "oh you got your light fixed?"
"Oh no, I did not. Come see" She leads me into the bathroom.
We enter the bathroom and she shows me that one of the 7 lights in that room is out. See she has makeup lighting around the mirror, two fixtures that have 3 bulbs each in them over the double sinks. Then two feet away there is another fixture over the toilet. That one is out but the 1000watts glaring from the 6 sink lights shined right at the toilet the bathroom was not dark at all! It was very well lit and had more lighting than mine. I just gave her a look. She explains that at night (which it was) it gets really dark in here and she can barely see the toilet or the tub.
What the fuck do you want in here a spotlight? ?#%$!#!# Anyhow in light of the discovery I decided David would truly get to it when he got to it. I have larger impending issues in my home such as a window that doesn't seal properly, a piece of trim board that needs replacing before my floor comes up etc.
The next day I got two messages from her. "Hi Roc its ____________, I am really in pain due to not being able to take a bath. I really need to get in the tub and soak my kidneys and I was wondering when I would be able to do that. David has not fixed my light yet and I am in desperate need of his help. It went on and on about how scary the bathroom was and unsafe. I did not reply. On my way to work this morning I set a lamp on her porch. Maybe she can plug that in somewhere in there if she feels unsafe. Uggghh! Seriously lady?

Where I Stand

2011-07-27T08:30:00.000-07:00

I appreciate so many of you listening and reading about my personal life drama over the past few months. Many of you advised me and some even emailed. It is such an honor to know that people I have never met care.

I am a big fan of the truth and telling it like it is, so in order for me to blog openly about my life I must come clean with something. everyone knows that life with The RA has been less than desirable to say the least. Quite honestly it has been full of turmoil and dysfunction and I have shared that with you all. And then there was the Other Woman. Well that lil chapter was quite a rough one. Its been almost a month so here's where I'm at.

12 years with the RA and 6 kids between us....that's a lot of history. Truth be told we had been living separate lives for a couple years now. Its kinda like we couldn't stand to be around each other but did not want the finality of ending it because we do truly care about each other.

I have had other relationships during our time together. He never had until this time. I was not mad that he did. Rather shocked and upset that he did not tell me sooner. Anyways after chatting with the other woman and getting all the sordid details, then dealing with the aftermath of the emotions that come with that, I am good. I am really good. For the first time in years RA and I sat down and talked hour, after hour, hour, night after night after night about how we got to that place. For the first time in 12 years we were really honest about our feelings. Naturally he wanted to come home. I of course was unsure about this.

He has always had the approach that his business is his and mine is mine. Kinda hard to have a relationship that way. I don't wanna be "big brother" but I want to feel secure both financially and emotionally. I do not want to have a man but be a single mom and that's just what I had been. He has apologized and asked what can be done to repair things. We are getting counseling and he has turned over all his finances to me. I have all the cards and checkbooks. Not to control him but bc his mishandling of money was a huge source of our issues. I also have all the passwords to his facebook, email etc. Not forever but I feel like if he wants to be with me he has to give me full disclosure, make me feel secure. I personally do not see the need to hide ish anyway unless its wrong. So we are working on it. Working on it hard and fast as we realize we are at a point in our lives that it is make it or break it for us. It sounds crazy but this other woman was the best thing that ever happened to us in a lot of ways.

She made us stop and realize is this really what we want? Do we wanna be apart? Do we wanna be with someone else? Do we want our relationship to work? We have a beautiful family and a deep connection.

Now that he seems refocused I think we can do this. I know, I can feel the eyes rolling the head shaking the "oh no Roc"s, and believe me I understand. If my girlfriend was going through this the advice I'd be giving her would be totally different than the path I have chosen. But after much reflection I think I gotta give it an honest effort for my families sake. I was raised without a dad and I so want to break that cycle. Does that mean I will put up with anything? No. But honestly I could have given a bit more as well. I have been one cold bitch for a couple years now. I do not want to be that way anymore.

This is last call for us. We both know it. But the thing that is different this time is usually when we are getting back together it is one of us trying real hard and the other is just along for the ride. Although he has a lot of making up to do with me I am also working on some issues that I may have. I feel positive about this and feel like this is the best decision for me at this point in my life.
So now can I get back to my usual bitching and such?

If you lose my kid.....Can I get a phone call?

2011-07-20T05:44:00.000-07:00

The new school year has started for Mason last week. Although Mason has moved up a grade, he still attends the same school on the same track and the same before and after school program. Monday was the first day of school so naturally I took him myself. The van picked him up and took him back to the daycare where he attends an after school program and I picked him up as usual.

So here comes Tuesday morning. I arrive at the center at 7:15a, as I have done for years now to drop off Mason and MJ. Kissed them both goodbye and turned to head out the door. The teacher yells after me..."you forgot Mason!" "No, Mason started school this week" I inform her. She says back "well we do not run the route to his school here anymore". WTH? "as of when?" I ask clearly irritated. See I ain't got time for no BS first thing in the morn. I have to be on my job to open the facility at 7:50a. I literally have just enough time to get there. Hence no time for BS like this. The teacher explains that they changed the routes, etc and they will still take Mason to school just from a different locale. "Why was I not told about this?" I ask pissed off tryna figure out what I am gonna do now. "I don't know" the teacher responds.
Ugggh. I grab Mason by the hand and fly out the door because now I have to drive to a second location and drop him off and there is not much time for that. We arrive at the second location I walk Mason inside and am greeted by the teacher there I say to her " you guys are taking him to school right?" She responds "I guess so, I do no really know". Seriously????? "I don't know" is not an appropriate answer how about "let me find out?"
So I make sure that is the case and I also ask where will he be in the afternoon here or at the other location with MJ. I was told he would be at the other location. The afternoon routes did not change, only the morning ones did. "Same time?" I ask. "Yes" I am told. So off I race to work.
Let me just add that my kids have been going to this place for 4 years and I have had a positive experience here. I am also on their Parent Advisory Board. This center is a family ran place and I generally love it.
That afternoon I pull up to the daycare center it is 112degrees so I want to get the kids home quickly. I arrive at 4pm, 10 minutes early. I don't see the van so I go into the after school class. I ask if Mason has arrived the teacher looks at me clueless and says no. So I go to the lobby to await the van. 4:25p, no van so I go back to the classroom and ask if the van was coming. I was told the van had came and gone. "Well where is my child?' I ask. "Dunno, he didn't get off the van" she says. I head back to the lobby and encounter the director. I ask her where my son is? "Oh let me call the other center." She calls them hangs up and tells me he is on the way here. I wait. It is now 4:40p, finally I see the van pull up so I go out to get Mason and notice he is the only one on the van. So I ask the driver "is he the only one?" she says yes. I then ask "is this the normal time now 4:45p?" She looks flustered and mutters off some crap about "working out the kinks" I go back in to get MJ and pay my bill. When I go to pay the bill it is double. I inquire about it and the lady cannot explain why that is so. I know I do not owe that much I tell her we can pull up my bank statements and I can show her the cleared checks from last month. She says don't worry about it. Just pay what you think you owe, and we will get it sorted out." Okay. I wrote the check and handed it to her "here is what I know I owe."
Later I question Mason about the pick up at school and it is discovered that he was left on the first run? Basically they forgot him and when I showed up they rushed back and got him and then played like they were just behind schedule. The next day I encounter the head director I ask her to clarify for me the changes that I apparently did not know about and to clarify pick up times and locations. She did. Then I asked what happened on Tuesday. She starts to tell me that its the first week back to school and they are still ironing out all the routes etc etc. I stare at her head on and let her stumble around trying to cover herself. I then tell her I know that you guys forgot my kid at school yesterday. She starts to deny it, but one look into my face tells her that is not a good idea. So then she admits it, she then winces as if I am gonna go off. I explain to her that I understand people make mistakes and it is the first week of school and even I have a hard time keeping my 4 kids schedules straight so I can only imagine that keeping hundreds of kids scheude straight must be hard but I would appreciate honesty the next time I am searching for my kid.

Gotta Love Em

2011-07-18T06:44:00.000-07:00

My children provide me with endless entertainment. We really could star in our own reality TV show. We'd put those Kate Plus 8 people outta business. Don't believe me? Check it out. So it's Saturday I'm riding along with Mason and MJ. We are headed out for breakfast. MJ has a ZhuZhu pet. It says clearly on the box do not put this pet in your hair. I hear an "uh-oh" I look back and Mason had thought it would be cool to see what would happen if you did put a ZhuZhu pet in your hair. Guy was smart enough not to do his hair, rather test this theory on his sisters head of yards and yards of curls. Curious What happens? Here ya go.

The good news is she didn't scream about it. She actually thought it was funny . But never the less I had to ride home like this and cut the pet from her hair.

Then Sunday Morning, headed out to pick up breakfast for everyone. I wanted to quickly and quietly go alone but MJ tried to tag along. I tried to convince her to stay. I love MJ but good lord that girl can talk and it was too early for all that. I explained to her that mommy wanted a peaceful ride and that "quite frankly princess you talk too much." "I won't Mommy" she promised. I relented and me and MJ headed to Bojangles. And the lil sweetie was actually quiet. In our town the Bojangles is hopping on weekend mornings. So much so that they have someone stand almost at the entrance to take your order so by the time you get to the drive thru menu your stuff is ready. I always try to be ready when its my turn because the guy that works out there taking orders in the parking lot does not play you better have your ish together when you pull up. So I pulled up to him and placed my order I noticed that he seemed quite interested in MJ who was in the backseat. Nothing new everyone loves her so I paid it no mind. While I waited in line I noticed lots of people checking out even staring at MJ. Jeez I thought she isn't even all dolled up. When I got to the pick up counter I noticed the lady there kinda sneered at me. I thought it was because I asked for a receipt but little did I know. As I pulled out and onto the main road I did a mirror check on MJ and this is what I saw.

If you will take notice the child had found a piece of tape in the back seat and taped her mouth shut, hence all the staring. A lil too soon after the Casey Anthony trial but hey what can I say.

Gotta luv em!

The New Trend....Hands on Dads!

2011-07-12T09:55:00.000-07:00

So over the past few days I have noticed a new trend.
Dads!
Dads!
Dads!
Everywhere!
It started at the mall. I was school shopping for Mason and noticed lots of kids with dads...Not many moms on site?
Then at Walmart I noticed more kids with dads, no moms! At one point I was so caught up in this rarity that I tried to snap photos. I was sitting on a bench in the back of Walmart and there was a dad with 4 small kids. One baby girl, one toddler girl and two preschool aged boys. He had his hands full. But he had the patience and caring that would make any woman envy his wife. He was pretty good looking and the baby stroller made him extra hot. He managed to entertain all four kids and in such a loving way I was so caught up. I probably looked like a crazy lady staring at him. As I watched him interact with his kids it made my heart feel all warm and fuzzy.
Then another dad with two girls passed by. One was holding his teen daughters hand! Now that just melted me. Then as I watched them with affection another dad and two boys came along. Not only were the dads out in full effect they were doing an awesome job! The next day we went to the pool and again most kids were there with their DADS! Where were all the moms? Did they all just quit? Had they had enough? The dads at the pool played with and supervised the children in their care wonderfully and even gathered in little groups to share parenting tips. Cute.
I ran into a dad I knew at the pool and he had his two daughters with him, I asked where his wife was and he said doing housework so I took the girls outta her hair. I told him I noticed this weekend there was lots of that. He informed me it was probably because the moms were fed up after having the kids all week and now its the dad's turn. I like that.
So this morning I'm at work and guess what? Two dads dropped off. Again no moms?? It's freaking Tuesday! Where are the moms?? Are they working, cleaning, or just plain ole chilling. I hope that they are chilling. I hope that this is the new way to parent kids... Hands on dads! I love it. Lord knows I am enjoying dealing with these laid back guys and their friendly demeanor's rather than the cranky snooty moms I usually deal with.(with the exception of one rude jerk off I will tell you about later) And it makes me so happy to see dads being dads. And best of all guess where my boys are for two weeks???.....Dads!
Good job dads! And if you are not up on this trend you should definitely get on it. Being a participatory dad looks good on you!

Look how good this looks

Anyone else noticed this?

I Like The Other Woman

2011-07-08T05:47:00.000-07:00

You guys took too long to advise me and I could not help myself. I called her. Most people would have and did tell me to leave well enough alone. But I can't stand being in the dark about things and I felt like RA was not giving me the entire story. I could hold back no longer. I called her. I called her and wanted to know everything. Well, she told me everything. Why did I do that? I just had to know. It hurt. It hurt real bad hearing all the details of their love affair. It appeared it was way more serious than I ever thought and way more serious then RA let on. It is amazing how when two scorned women get together on some things the stuff that will come out.
He had apparently lied to her as much as he lied to me. He had truly been living a double life. It is really like a Lifetime movie and against my wishes I am a main character.
The funny thing was while I was listening to her tell me how he would explain his and my situation it was very reminiscent of things he would tell me about his ex wife when he and I first got together. He must be following a handbook or something. There had been so many times right in front of my eyes that he called her or texted her. Of course he told me it was his mom or brother etc. So many times we were together and he was feeding her bullshit and so many times that they were together and he was feeding me bullshit. RA has caused me much grief in my days but this takes the cake. I seriously became ill after speaking with her. She had met my children, has pics and videos of them. Has met his entire family, his coworkers, his friends. I wonder how stupid those people must think I am? I wonder why no one even gave me a hint?
I am a glutton for punishment. I knew when I called her it would not be good for me but I had to know. I had to know every little detail. I am just that way. I would rather get stabbed head on over and over than be betrayed. So although it killed me I listened to every word she said. And I believe every word she said. I know that she is telling me the truth and the smart girl had proof just in case I did not believe her. It was just horrible but needed to be done. After we talked over an hour I was just drained. My boys are away and the baby was asleep so I confronted RA about it all. And there were fights, there was yelling, there was crying it was real bad. I could not move on without knowing and now I know.
Ironically, I like her. Although she knew he was cheating in the beginning she was sold a whole bunch of lies and I can't help her for believing him. Hell I believed him and I know him. She apologized for her part and for that I thank her. She is a good person that just got caught in the middle of our mess. Where do I go from here? Lord only knows. I am still in shock and actually just wanna forget everything for a few days but I can't. I am going to have one hell of a rough time ahead of me as I try to sort this all out and make major decisions about my life, but I am strong. And I will get through this. Here's hoping she does too.

The Other Woman

2011-07-07T06:44:00.000-07:00

Ever had a situation in which you were just stuck? Stuck. Either way you go things could end up not so good. This is hard to share because honestly this does not match my tough chick exterior but I am in a state of confusion and you guys always advise me so well. So here goes:

Everyone knows that the RA and I split up in May. I just felt it was time for him to go and he did. The first month was okay I spoke of being numb and feeling nothing. I threw myself into a bunch of activities to keep my mind and the kids minds occupied. RA would come visit a few nights a week and that was that. In July the RA was around a lot more and seemed to be showing the first signs of regret that he ever left. He began to speak of missing his home and family so we spent more time together. During this split we had sex several times and he told me that he loved me and missed me when he wasn't there over and over.I never said it back just kept my eyes open and my heart closed. I needed to move on.

This weekend he told me he wanted to come home and be a family.He told me that he had been selfish and realized it. This is a first for him because always in our dealings he had never taken responsibility for our dysfunction. He said he wanted to come clean with me and start over fresh.
In that he told me that he had been having a relationship with another woman while we were separated. I was furious and hurt. He told me that he thought we were really done and he should move on. He and this particular woman sped into a serious relationship in which she relocated from another town to be with him. She knew all about me but did not mind. Anyways he confessed all this to me to tell me he wanted to end things with her and come home. He said that while he tried to move on he just couldn't stop thinking about me.
He confessed it all. Then he placed a call to end things with the other woman. He told her that he could not continue to see her because he had not gotten over me and he was coming home and whatever they had was over. He made this call separate from me. The girl was crushed and continually called him and begged him for another chance or to sit down and talk things over. Something about that situation struck a chord with me. I realized I was not ready for him to move on with someone else. Do I want to be with him? I'm unsure but I sure as hell cannot stand the thought of him moving on so seriously so quickly. She called and called and called him until I made him answer the phone in front of me. When he did she apparently was headed to my home. She was crying and begging and I felt bad for her. She told him She had gotten my address and wanted to tell me everything that went on between them. I welcomed her over because I knew that RA was only gonna give me a version in which he looked the best. She decided to turn around and not come but she continually expressed her shock and hurt over the fact hat he had ended things so abruptly with her.
I just sat there listening to the whole thing. Him apologizing and explaining that he could not move on from me and her begging and crying. I was shocked. I always thought there at the end that he was being less than honest but I had no clue he had an actual girlfriend that he was spending time with. I was crushed and I felt stupid. He spent the entire night revealing information to me regarding the relationship. I demanded that at least he give me full disclosure. He also tried to convince me that he had learned a lesson and he just wanted to come home and do right by me and the kids.
I am stuck. Here is why:
I look at it two ways:
1- He does love me. Here he had this woman who was willing to change her whole life around for him and relocate so that he could be close to his kids and job. She seemed to really love him. I am a realist. I began to imagine how nice that must have been for him. Just carefree dating and having fun. No kids, no responsibilities no baggage between them. You now how good new love feels. Compared to being with me. There is little fun, lots of responsibility and tons of issues between us. We can barely carry on a conversation without arguing. I had no clue she even existed. She was okay with his situation with me so he could have carried on having the best of both worlds. But he did not. He made a choice and he came clean to both of us and then ended things with her.
Then I feel this way:
2- That bastard! How the hell can he move on so quickly and so seriously after 12 years!! And now he thinks he can just come home and start anew like nothing ever went down?! How the hell can I trust him?
I go back and forth. One minute I feel like he had to go experience this with another woman to realize that the grass is not always greener on the other side and now he realizes how much he loves and needs me in his life. This was just the wake up call he needed. Maybe now he will start acting like a man and be there for his family. Then I feel like I can't trust this dude! He had never let on that he was involved with someone else although I asked him repeatedly.

I need to say here that I have often after a split between us picked up and started seeing someone else rather quickly. But I always told him about it. So I am more upset that he did not tell me then the fact that he had another woman.
I am so confused. Hearing another woman on the phone telling him what a great man he is and how blessed she was to have had him in her life and how much she loved him and would wait was really hard. It was something I've never had to deal with. But when things ended it was clear that she was not done. Even after he told her how he felt and he was coming home to fix things she continually begged him for one more night, or even 5 minutes. She has continued to call/text him since that night.
So here's the dilemma. I have her number, and I also can message her via facebook. I feel as if she and I should have a chat. One to clear up any questions I have and two to let her know that if I decide to let him come home she must back off and move on. I want to make sure he left nothing out and that he has not contacted her since that night. But I also feel like that may not be the best idea.
Originally I felt horrible for her. Felt like she was a victim of his lies just as I had been but upon closer inspection not so much. She knew about me. I am on his facebook page which is where they reconnected and she knew he stayed at my home often and she also knew that I was in the dark about her. So now I really do not feel so bad for her. It has even been discovered that they started their lil thing while he was still living in my home which is why she quickly relocated to get him outta my house. So I'm kinda irritated with her too. She did not care about me so should I even care about her? Should I forgive him? He did come clean to me and is willing to do whatever to make things better with us. But I just do not want anything to pop up later that should be put to rest now. Should I contact her?

Triple D's, He/She's, And Stilettos

2011-07-06T06:27:00.000-07:00

I have been a slack blogger, but boy did I bring back gifts for you all! Summer in my home is a time to turn in early, relax, not worry about school-related ish and just take things easy. But this summer I realized I may have to switch it up a bit. Having two teens home all day I needed to fill their days with some sort of structure. So we have been road running like mad most nights and weekends just to keep everyone awake, alert, alive. If we are not at the gym we are swimming or hanging with friends, or having picnics, or going to the water park or Kings Dominion. All great but, good lord I am TIRED. In the midst of all this I am tryna work full time, run a house, deal with relationship issues, etc. Then you throw in the good stuff like this lil episode of poison Ivy that my son gets EVERY damn summer.

He usually has a cute lil skinny face.

Funny thing.... and DO NOT TELL HIM I TOLD YOU.....being the red-blooded teenage boy that he is... he has poison ivy all around his private parts. Now to this I laughed and laughed. Sometimes being a mom is so much fun!

A lil more time at the pool and now Mason has swimmers ear. Oh good times. Fun does have its price. And by the way we have never eaten so much deli meat as we are so busy ripping and running there is no time for silly things like umm cooking a meal. And the housework,,,,good lord. If social services decides to drop by I am screwed. My boys "clean" up each day while I am working but things like laundry, toilets, sink scrubbing, floor waxing etc....well lets just say they could use a lil work. Most importantly let me share some views from the pool and get your thoughts. Ummkay?

View #1

Notice Anything?? Anything at all?

How about them triple D's? Woah! This picture does no justice for the real show. Seriously I saw her aureoles! (in case the spelling is not right I am referring to the brown area in which the nipple sits) You can't tell but she has on the skimpiest bathing suit. It basically has a string down the sides attaching the top to the bottoms and you can only imagine the stuff hanging onto or rather wrapping around that string. Yuck! It was just so inappropriate at a kiddie pool. Not to mention that tattoo on her titty says "Queen" I think she forgot to add the word "sized". Get it? Queen sized? Now I am no small chic but come on! She asked for this by showing up half naked to the kiddie pool. Time and place people. Time and place.

Now on to my next shot

This lil hottie was strutting around the pool side with her/his breast and ass poked so far out it was extremely sexual and unnatural. The poolside strut is what caught my attention. But then my friends pointed out that this was no woman yet, rather a man?? I did not get that at first until my friend pointed out the strong back, strong facial features and hands. What??? I still did not believe until she/he talked. The deep man voice that came from this lil hottie was a head turner! And the adams apple kinda gave it away as well. Again. Nothing against gays, transgenders, whatever. Its all good. I would not have even noticed but for the serious poolside strut. This individual used the ladies locker rooms. My friend thought that was uncomfortable. Me I did not care. Obviously if she/he is a man she is not into women so all's good in the locker room.

Lastly I have no pic for this but had to mention that stilettos are not the perfect accessory for the pool. There was a 60ish year old woman strutting her stuff all around the pool as well with a swimsuit and 3 inch stilettos. As she wobbled around the pool I kept waiting for her to lose balance and fall in but she made it safely to the exit. But seriously what is the point??

All these distractions made it hard for me to supervise my kids. So come on people cut it out!

So help me out will ya?

What do you think about triple D and he/she???

Women or Mens locker room?

Appropriate?

Is that a man?

Stilettos at the pool?

FIRE!!!- Courtesy Of The Neighbor

2011-06-28T11:36:00.000-07:00

This happened a couple weeks ago but is still post worthy. It features two of your favorite people
Me

Neighbor

So I'm having a bad week as usual. I may have even been PMSing because I was extra irritable. I had freshly split from the RA and every damn bad thing that could happen to a person was happening to me. As always, my neighbor is always having some issues too. But seriously the last thing I care about when I am that annoyed is your problems. So although she had been relentlessly chasing me down every time I pulled up or checked my mail I had managed to avoid her all week. It was a Friday and I had ignored her for four whole days and to her that must have felt like 4 years. See when she is feeling neglected she will walk her dog around my house with her head down, and her shoulders slumped over in the pathetic, pitiful display of misery that grates my nerves.

This image depicts the sight I get out of my window when I do not pay her enough attention. I just wanna open up my window and yell out at her "pull yourself together!!!"

But eventually I will come out to see what's wrong with her. She had been doing that all week and I had just pulled the blinds whenever I saw her. Shit, I had my own problems. I did not need her shenanigans all over my plate as well. I was starting to resent that fact that she will not give me my space. I LOVE my space. Sometimes if I ignore her a day or two she will try to ignore me back but she can't out bluff me. She will ignore my knock or call when she's "upset with me" but 10 minutes later she comes a running. So I felt bad about being unsociable all week. Okay I really didn't feel bad I just knew I had to do what I had to do. So I called her to see if she wanted to share a cup of tea or clip a couple coupons. She ignored my call! I knew she was ignoring my call because I saw her through the window sitting on her couch, look at the caller ID and then keep sitting. Okay cool I thought. I placed another call to my BFF to chat about the weekend when I had a beep; it was the neighbor.

Oh now you wanna talk I thought? Nope. I just rejected the call. Another call came 3 minutes later then another. All were ignored. The neighbor beeped in twice more. I ignored. Not out of malice now but because I was busy. Then there was a knock at my front door. I ignored it. I knew it was the neighbor. Note: If I do not answer your call I do not wanna visit with you either! Jeez get a freaking clue. This really annoyed me.

Then there was a knock at the back door. I ignored it. I was tidying up the front rooms while I was on the phone, when I heard a dog barking...in my kitchen! I went into the kitchen and there stood the neighbor and her dog! Are you kidding me I thought?>#%#%@#! Now I was SUPER annoyed. Oh hell no she did not just roll up in here without being welcomed. I entered the kitchen and glared at her. I must have had the nastiest look on my face. She said "Hi How are you?"

I responded rudely "Busy. Obviously."

"Well I have had one hell of a day" she said (well what's new) And (oh no don't even think about coming over here and unloading on me, not now)

I said to her "Well I am on the phone right now"

She looked at me like that was the rudest shit she'd ever heard. Maybe it was. But she could clearly see that I was on the phone. She started again "well I...."

"I am on the phone and busy I cannot talk to you right now" I said meanly. She looked like I had punched her in the gut.

"Well you see" she began again, but I know from experience once she starts that's it.

So I cut her off again, "go home and I'll call you in a few." She out her head down and took two steps towards the door, She turned around to say something but I'm sure one look into my evil face told her no don't you dare.

She took another step and turned around to face me. "Well you see..." she started again.

"I am busy" I snapped.

She said okay and went out the door, then she reached back and opened the door again and said with a worried look "I'm sorry I just want to tell you my smoke alarm has been going off for 45 minutes."

"Okay bye" I said more forcefully this time.

I'm thinking -Biaacth do I look like the fire department? What the hell are you telling me for??

She got teary eyed and left. And of course 2 minutes after she left the guilt set in and I felt bad for how rude I was. Dammit! Why cant I just have my peace? So I called her to apologize for being so short.

She answered like she'd been crying

"Hello" she said all weepily.

"Hi sorry about that I'm just having a bad time right now and I have things I need to deal with."

"I understand, its just that we are in danger." I roll my eyes as she continued "I was showering and the smoke alarm started going off"

"Probably the steam from the shower."

"Well No I don't think so" she said

"Do you smell smoke?" I asked becoming irradiated again.

"No" she replied

"Do you see flames?" I asked

"No" she said

"Well then it's all good" I said

"I think there could be an electrical fire in the walls and wanted you to know so you could get out safely" she warned me

"I doubt that, the alarm is probably just malfunctioning" I assured her

(It had been almost an hour by now) And this was all quite familar.

"Well I think we should evacuate" she informs me

"Naw I'm tired" I said

"Well I do not feel safe" she said the worry creeping back into her voice

"I'm good over here" (I know where she was going with this) "Well, call the fire department" I say

"Well I'll give it a few and if it does not stop I'll call" she says clearly not satisfied with my answer

"Okay let me know, bye" And with that I hung up.

Disclosure: The neighbor is actually only in her fifties she just acts like a 90 year old.

The Big House Is The Place To Be

2011-06-27T06:08:00.000-07:00

So there is a guy here in the good ole NC, Richard James Verone.

He is 59 broke, jobless, and has health ailments in which he is in pain. Apparently he could not get medical care because he has no insurance. So what did he do?

Something quite interesting to me.

He walked into a RBC bank handed the teller a note that said he was robbing them but only wanted one dollar and then told her he would be waiting for the police in the sitting area. He went over and sat down and waited to be arrested. Crazy you may ask? I say no. Desperate is the word I would use. See he needed medical care and could not seem to get any so he thought well, if I go to jail then I will get great medical care. And that's just what happened. Apparently he has several ailments but a growth on his chest sounds scariest to me. He had no weapons, just a plan. So now he is in jail and receiving medical care.

It is a sad damn day and time when prisoners get better health care than no criminal working good ole Americans. Someone should really take a look at that. I have not the solution but the awareness. You all know the hellacious time I have had with my healthcare provided by the county. I have no insurance and do not qualify for state insurance. I can't get in anywhere but the clinic. I do pay probably as much as most of you pay for your copay or even more, but the quality of care I get is crap. I am basically without medical care as well. Should I rob a bank? Or commit some crime so I can go get the hookup at the big house? Never thought of that option. But it is just sad that people are so desperate for basic health care that they would throw away their freedom just to live. I don't actually condone what he did but I totally get it. You can get the facts by clicking the link below.

Newstory

Post look a little crazy?? Blame Blogger this spacing ish needs to be fixed. Uggh.

My Boys Are Trendsetters

2011-06-23T05:33:00.000-07:00

We recently joined our local YMCA. We have been definitely getting our monies worth but something happened last night that was just damned priceless. Our Y has an outdoor pool and we have been spending most nights there. I go with a coworker most nights. We bring our kids, have dinner at the pool, shower in the locker room when we are done and have dinner there as well. At 730 each night they have a water aerobics class. My coworker has been begging me to do it with her. My impression is that the class is for senior citizens. She asked me to just observe the class one night, in which I did, and I noticed there were about 6 ladies, all older women. I am 30ish and I felt too young for the class.
Well last night we were at the pool celebrating my bday and the class got started. There were about 8 ladies, all older. My kids were fascinated by this. They wanted to join the class. I explained to them that the class was for older people, and thought that was the end of it. I took princess potty and when I returned I did not see two of my boys, I asked my friends where they went and they pointed to the Water Aerobics class.

Here is what I saw when I returned
To my horror I looked over and saw my two boys and now 9 older ladies doing water aerobics. I said to my friend "why did you let them go over there?" She just laughed and said "look they are doing great!"

Here they are
In order to really get how funny this was I have added this pic and video to demonstrate the normal makeup and activities of the water aerobics class.

Typical Class
Video Of YMCA Water Aerobics

I went by the poolside to tell them to get out but just as I pulled up to the pools edge the instructor started this synchronized circle and my boys ignored my presence and went on. I'm sorry but the sight of my teen boys in the middle of a bunch of older ladies hooping and hollering "come on girls" was priceless. One grey haired lady gave me the nastiest scowl. I tried to smile but she gave me a yucky look so I threw the stank eye back at her. I was prepared to pull my boys out but then I noticed something... two more teen boys came over and got in and joined the class, Then a teen girl. Then another boy! What? My kids were trendsetters.

See all the other teens joining now

Within ten minutes of my kids joining the class it went from 9 older ladies to about 16 people mixed in age and gender. A man even joined in! And they were taking the class seriously. I took some pics so you could see how funny this is. I hope you laugh as much as I did.

"Come on ladies, lift those arms"

Updates- Because Blogger Sucks Today

2011-06-22T07:18:00.000-07:00

Okay, seriously I have a great post for you guys put it simply does not have the same value without the pics. But Blogger won't let me add the pics . WTF? any one else having this issue?? So that post is on hold and I'll give you a lil something else so that you won't feel deserted. I'll provide you updates on all my stuff that I just left you hanging with.

My TMobile Saga: I received my new G2 phone. I am obsessed with it quite honestly. I haven't a clue how to use it properly but GOD! Who knew phones could do so much these days? Yes, I know you did Mike, but who else? I had no clue. I recommend everyone run out and get a smart phone NOW. I heart TMobile again.

My Doctor Drama- Remember how they called me and said I had Cancer then after 15 minutes of telling me all about it ....whoops wrong person? You don't know? Well click that link because if you have not read it than you will certainly not believe it. Anyhoos, Haven't heard from them since. Not one word. Even though they were supposed to call me two weeks ago for a follow up on my issue that had just been left hanging. I haven't called them either. But it is on my to do list. I just hate dealing with them period. I still pee lots!

My Morning Annoyance- So I bitched about this lady in the shopping center who was really draining me.....after the post she never came back again. I swear she read it. I swear she did. She no longer waves, smiles, stops by, nothing! At first I felt horrible but then I thought " the peace was kinda nice". Today she stopped by???? Weird huh. It was a short awkward visit though.

Miss Friendly Panties at The Y- I really thought you guys would be more sympathetic to her but you were not. I took your advice but was gonna wait for her to be rude again. People that are that rude are usually always rude. Then I would complain. Thing is I never saw her again? Not sure if she even works there?

My Mental State- After splitting with the RA, I was concerned about my mental state. I was just so numb. I'm never numb! You guys were so awesome in providing me with insight about that. That is my fav thing about blogging by the way, blog followers are such a unbiased source of info and advice. I so felt the love in the comments that day. Where things are now? He is now coming around more often than not. I'm not sure if he has no where to go or what his deal is. But he does not have a key so he cannot get in without me and he does leave a couple nights a week. He now pays child support so far every week without fail which is Epic and certainly helps. I'm just living life and instead of including him in it, he fits in where he can get in. I've just decided that since I am not a priority in his life he should not be one in mine. He still constantly disappoints me but, I count on him as little as possible and that helps.

Dollar Tree Biiiatch- I was gonna go by there and make her life hell. But life got busy. Then when I did go, she was not there. Yesterday I went there and she was there but she polite so we'll see.

So I hope you all have enjoyed the updates. Now Blogger----Get your ish together!

The Birth Of MalloryJane

2011-06-16T07:05:00.000-07:00

I always wanted just one lil girl. One kid. And she should be a girl. 3 boys and 12 years later I got her. You maybe have read all my birthing stories , they were really bad. See for yourself (except Michael's, I'll get him next year) In honor of her upcoming birthday, here is MJ's.

Since the last two births came at lightning speed and were not positive experiences, now that I was a stay at home mom with 3 little kids I was quite concerned about going into labor and delivering in the car on the way to the hospital. I had a great OB/GYN and I discussed my concerns with him,. After reviewing my chart he felt that I should be concerned as it was a great possibility that would happen. So we scheduled a planned induction. I am a planner so this made me super happy. The morning of the induction we said goodbye to all the boys who went with the ex hubby and headed to the Wake Med Cary Birthing Center. We were greeted by happy, informed positive nurses. They took me to my room which was awesome and went over everything with me. Hooked me up on all the proper machinery and then started the IV drip with the induction drugs. I chilled in my bed watching TV. Super excited that shortly I would meet the lil girl I had dreamed about for years. Here are my other kids..

As you can see they are a bit ethnic looking. So Here is what I envisioned her to look like..

After bit the medication doctor came and hooked me up with an epidural drip. If you haven't had kids in a while they have this new thing where once they insert the needles you get to dose yourself. Whenever you feel like it, you push a button and it sends the meds straight to your bloodstream. Awesome! I was worried because I had always heard that induced births are more painful. I had no pain so I was sure it was gonna come hard and fast. So I stayed pushing the pain med button over and over and over so much so that the nurse told me I could chill a bit b/c the meds would only come every 15 minutes. I was wasting my time pressing the button 100 times per minute. No pain, chilling, happy, relaxed. My doc showed up and said to me "I have a golf game at 1:30 so we need to wrap this up quickly, How bout 20 minutes tops and I'm outta here?" My doc had a great sense of humor like that. They started up the pushing event. I started pushing, still no pain. Then they told me to "look down." Okay let me explain something here sometimes when you are struggling to get your baby out they will have you look down at your vagina through a large mirror. Supposedly when you see a head stuck in your vagina it inspires you to push harder. Ummm me? Not so much. The last thing I wanna see is some hairy head ripping my vagina apart. When they did that with my first child it freaked me out and I no Ionger wanted to push. So I when they yelled "look down! look down!" I said "no I don't wanna!" Ra then said "Roc look down!" I screamed at him "NO you look down! I don't wanna!" My doc said "I think you do. Look Down Roc." I peeked out one eye scared to see that sight and to my surprise I saw not head stuck in my vagina but a beautiful fully out of my vagina lil girl in the docs hands. I burst into tears. It was over and she was out. It was like she just swam out all peacefully into the world. It was truly an amazing experience.

Then they took her to the bassinet to do the testing and I had not really got a good look at her, but boy I could hear her. That girl had a mouth on her. She was pissed! Wailing her lil lungs out. She certainly did not appreciate this whole hoopla. I was getting stitched so I couldn't really see her so I asked RA "what does she look like?" He just smiled and said "beautiful." "Who does she look like?" I asked. He smiled and said you will see. The entire time they worked on her and me she screamed. Then they brought her to me. WTH???? This lil girl was white as the driven snow and had bright red curly hair!!! The last thing I wanted was a red headed child (sorry red heads) I just did not envision her that way. I envisioned this honey colored hazel eyed lil girl. This lil girl did not resemble me at all!! I am so critical of my babies. LOL Anyways, after I got my head on straight I really looked at her. She looked just like the RA's dad. She also looked like my step daughter who is beautiful but has brown hair. She was perfect, once I got over the red hair. She was sweet and cuddly and peaceful and I just fell in love. I had waited for her my whole life. I could not sleep all night thinking about the shopping trips, and teas we would have together. Ahhh. At last.
Now guess what gets her the most attention and makes her stand out everywhere we go? That red hair. Check it out.

She's nothing I dreamed of but that's because even I could not have dreamt up this perfection. She is everything I could ever want in a daughter. And I love her so much!

Gonna Piss Some People Off

2011-06-14T07:09:00.000-07:00

Last week our preschool had graduation. Before I go any further let me tell you a bit about our 3 year old glass at the preschool.

Names have been changed of course.

There are maybe 12 kids in the class. There are 2 teachers. These two teachers are by far the best two teachers I have ever seen. With raising 4 of my own kids and then working in child care myself for 16plus years, I am the expert on "teachers". So In this class there are about 5 kids without issues, thankfully mine is one of them. The remaining 7 have some stuff going on, ranging from small issues to larger ones.

Lets start with Renee- Renee has some sort of anxiety issue that seems to effect her ability to make friends and deal with most situations. These issues are prominent and obvious. She is often hiding under a table or sucking her thumb and cries pretty easily at anything.

Then we have Rick- Rick has two older and seemly super- nerdy-smart parents. I think they may be rocket scientists or something. However Rick is far from one. I would even go as far as to say he is strongly autistic. He is compulsive, not potty trained, does not communicate, and quite rambunctious in general he seriously is in his own world around there.

Then we have MaryAshley- She, I think is maybe just spoiled, but either way she has cried for hours at drop off daily for over two years. She is almost four and her parents tote her around like an infant. I'm not sure the girl can walk.(she can) Her parents are "textbook" parents who coddle and hug and etc etc. She has not adjusted well to preschool and I'm not sure if she ever will.

Then we Have Suzy- Suzy comes from a real screwed up family. Mom walked out, dad has her, then don't, then does, then don't and various relatives assist in her raising. Her relatives pick her up reeking of smoke and lack of showers. She is so attention starved that she will jump on any adult that enters the room and talk your ear off.

Then there is Kory- he is also suffering from some serious mental disorder. It is not uncommon to enter the classroom and see him climbing on top of the shelves or just whirling round like he is the Tasmanian Devil.

He seems blank all the time and is a danger to himself.

Now you would think this is a scary environment for my princess. It is not. Somehow these two teachers seem to manage this group quite well. They teach and show all the kids love and attention daily. How they do it? I know not. But when you enter the classroom on any given day you are sure to see one or several of these children doing what they do and the teachers handle it all so well. They maintain as much control as humanly possible. They stay positive and they make certain that all the kids are included in whatever is going on no matter how hard it is to keep them focused. Imagine reading a story and having the Tasmanian Devil tear through the block center while you do so. It happens all the time. The seem unfazed. They correct the situation as much as possible but continue teaching those who are willing or able to learn.

I am assuming the parents of these kids are in DENIAL. Because I can tell in 5 minutes if something is a bit off, sometimes even 5 seconds.

So back to graduation. The 3's were performing for the graduates and they had a 3 song set they would be doing. The kids had never been on stage or performed period. So when the curtains opened and the music started the 3 year old class stood and their little mouths dropped open at all the lights and all the people. The kids that would normally function appropriately in the classroom began singing and dancing just as they had practiced but the others, well they did what they do.

Picture the scene 7 or 8 lil sweet peas singing and dancing. Then you have Renee who totally freaked at the sight of all the people. She immediately hid under a chair and began to wail. (like she does everyday in the classroom) Rick began running around stage knocking over chairs and pushing people (like he does everyday in the classroom) MaryAshley sat on the floor refusing to get up and cried. She wanted to be held (like she does everyday in the classroom) Suzy- went to the edge of the stage and tried to evoke the front row into a convo about her shoes. (like she does everyday in the classroom) Kory- he began to try to climb the curtains. and pulling the cords to the curtains. (something like he would do everyday in the classroom)

This did not bother me or most at all. We laughed at their personalities on stage. They did what they do everyday. Problem is the next day several parents came in or emailed complaints about the performance. Saying that the teachers had no control over the kids and the whole show was a FAIL and "hard to watch." There was lots of blaming the teachers and it really hurt the teachers feelings. I was livid when I found out. Because excuse me??? But did YOU not know your child was your child!!! They did what they do everyday and YOU see them do it and do nothing. YOU do not get them the help they need or attempt to teach them a better way. When YOU drop off Kory he immediately climbs something and you just walk out. I've seen YOU do it! And when YOU drop off Rick he immediately starts running around knocking things over and YOU do NOTHING! Hello?? If you have to hand over your damn near four year old to another adult to hold for an hour and a half while she "adjusts" then what the hell did you expect to happen on stage? Did YOU think these kids would magically turn into well behaved well adjusted kids and stand still and sing? Are YOU kidding me? YOU do not care each day when YOU see them behaving this way in class and the teacher has to manage it, plus 11 other kids. Why now that your child showed their issues or lack of parenting to the entire stadium do YOU care? I know why. Because YOU are embarrassed and YOU wanna blame someone. Now that the entire school saw what we (me and the teachers, as well as other parents) observe everyday in the classroom. Now YOU complain! And to blame the teachers... well that is just damn wrong. Shame on YOU in denial Parents! YOU need to figure out what's going on with your kid. And YOU need to teach him or her that 4 year olds can walk and that knocking other kids over is not appropriate period. YOU need to stop denying that your child is different and maybe needs some help . YOU you and no one but YOU.

Today's Aggravation Is Brought To You By......TMobile

2011-06-13T05:53:00.000-07:00

Due to my lack of blogging time, My stories are backing up at an alarming pace. I better get started. Today's drama in Raquel's World will be brought to you by......

I have been with TMobile for about 9 years. I am an awesome customer. How do I know that? They tell me every time I call them and that's why I love them. Until last Friday. See I pay a larger amount for my service b/c I have the "FREE upgrade" plan. The perk of this plan when sold to me was that every two years I get a FREE upgrade. FREE! So while others around me have been purchasing these lovely phones/computers that do all these amazing things I have stuck by my Gravity b/c I knew that in June 2011 I would get a FREE upgrade. I waited and waited. The phone and customer service has been awesome for me and I couldn't be happier until about 6 weeks ago when my signal would drop out and then not return for hours! WTF?!

The most annoying part is it always happened smack in the middle of the time when I need my phone the most from 3p-6p. That is when my kids are home and I am commuting so I need to be reachable. I complained and they said I needed a new sim card. I went to the store and they gave me a new sim card FREE. But the problem remained. Got worse even. I called Tmobile to complain about the signal issue and was told that's because my phone was old?? The problem should subside when I receive a new phone. I was so close to the end of the contract I just dealt with it.

I arrived at the TMobile store two Fridays ago with about $50 in my pocket. That $50 was gonna get me lunch and maybe an accessory for my new phone. I stepped up to the counter explained who I was and gave all the pertinent info and then asked where I should look in the store to be able to utilize my FREE upgrade.

The lovely salesgirl showed me the latest greatest phones that do all this amazing stuff. I explained to her that I would actually not like the latest greatest but just a phone that was better than mine, had a great camera, was Internet accessible, and had a keyboard. After many sales pitches we agreed on the Samsung 2G ( I think) anyways I fell in love with it and grabbed a protective case for it and headed up to check out. The lady punches some ish into the computer and then says "the total today is $245.18." "Oh silly sales girl, you forgot to apply my FREE upgrade." I inform her. "I did" she says. "And the total is $245.18?" I ask. She says "yes." I said to her "you wanna get someone to help you b/c that can't be right?" She said to me "that phone generally cost $299." Okay I say confused. "I gave you your upgrade and it brought the price down significantly." she informs me. Really? I can't tell. I thought the phone was FREE? "No" she says. "Then why do I have a Free upgrade plan?" "Oh we do have 1 free phone and she shows me something that looks similar to this....

I say to her "that is not an Upgrade, that is older than the phone I currently have!" She says "well actually there is no such thing as a FREE Upgrade, it is just an upgrade option, kinda a reduced price." Ummm, no that my dear is called a sale. Not FREE upgrade. She says "sorry that's all I can do." So now I'm mad. I say "well, no, that is not all you can do. You can cancel my contract now that it is up because I can switch providers and get a updated phone for free and a cheaper service plan or better yet one without a two year commitment." She looks shocked. She hands me a secret card with a number on it and tells me to call the company and tell them I am unhappy and they can cut me a better deal. "Isn't this the company???" I ask. "Well we are limited on site." So that's what I did.

I got a lovely dude that was very nice and told him the story and how I was disappointed and he said he could help me out. He said "I can get you that phone for free." So after some agreeing to renew my contract for two more years and a bunch of other logistics he set me up with my phone, shipping it out that day and I would have it in 3 days. I did have to pay $118 on the spot but he gave me a $100 credit on my next bill so essentially I paid $18. So I was happy. Within seconds I received a confirmation text that my phone order had been placed and was on the way. The next day I received a text that said my phone was out of stock and I would be notified when it became available to ship. WTH!!! I called TMobile up and asked why did they take my money when there was not a phone in stock? They credited it back and apologized. They could not however tell me when my phone would be in stock and I could not cancel the order because I had already agreed to it and it was a "pending order". I was not happy.

Yesterday I got the text that the phone has been shipped. There better not be any issues with it, the signal, or anything else!

So just be mindful if you get FREE upgrade it does not necessarily mean it's FREE.

You Won't Believe This

2011-06-06T07:22:00.000-07:00

You all know of my past adventures with my doctors office, if not you can read about them here, and here .
So I'm driving along Friday afternoon with a few of my kids. I get a call from my doctors office. It is "Sally" a nurse there, she is calling because she needs to follow up on my referral from umm about 9 months ago. Sally says she is trying to see where things are with my medical care/referral. I find it ironic that she works at the docs office but she has to call me to gather this info. I tell Sally her guess is as good as mine. I inform her that I have inquired several times about my referral and can't seem to get clear info. You will not believe how the conversation went from there.

Sally
Me
I've heard nothing despite my many calls.
You've got to be kidding me! Let me check the file. Silence as she reads over the info Well it says here that a referral was faxed to UNC on May 3rd, and you have heard nothing?
Nope nothing
Did you follow up with UNC?
No. I had no clue I was supposed to.
Oh yes, you were supposed to call them with your medical record number and follow up.
How would I have know that?
The front desk should have told you that when you checked out
They did not
Well here write down this medical record number and call them. When you call them tell them you need Dermatology and give them this number.
Dermatology? I ask. You mean Urology?
No Dermatology
I was supposed to be referred to a urologist.I have no skin issues my issue is a urological one.
That's not what your file says
This does not surprise me. She begins reading the info out loud in the file. You were here in March. (true) The doc observed signs of skin cancer.
I had no clue.
Yes, Ms Reed. You have skin cancer.
No one told me that!
You are kidding me? It's right here in your file. That's why we are sending you to UNC.
OMG! My heart drops as this is not the way to receive the info that I have cancer while I am driving with my kids in 5 o'clock traffic. Are you sure you have the right person? I ask her in disbelief.
Yes, Raquel Reed right?
Yes but I never even knew I had cancer!
It says here in the file you had a suspicious looking patch on your leg (oddly enough I do)
They should have told you. Don't worry though it may be treatable and by the way there is nothing in here about an urology referral.
I say nothing because, if I have cancer, peeing will be the least of my concerns.
Are you sure you have the right person? I ask. I give her my name again.
She repeats it and says 791-5**6?
Yes that's me
She begins to read me my visit history over the phone and she is mumbling off a lot of medical terms I don't understand and then she says and your thyroid disease... and your history of Cancer...
Wait a minute I have thyroid disease too? WTF?? I did not know that! Are you sure you have the right person?
Yes ma am I know you are in shock and I apologize but don't get all worried. It will be okay.
Birth date 6-21-75? I ask her
What?
I repeat "birth date 6-21-75"
"hold on" she says and puts me on hold
She comes back 4 minutes later and says I apologize I thought you were someone else
Seriously? I wanna punch her in the face. How in the hell can you make that kind of mistake/!@#$#@ I am torn between being relieved that I do not have Cancer and pissed off that they just took me through this shit and concerned that these are the people handling my medical care.
Only in Raquel's World

Just Leave Me Alone

2011-06-01T06:47:00.000-07:00

I work in a small shopping center. The surrounding businesses all open at 10am except for me and the Edward Jones office. A couple months ago the lady who works at the Financial place started being friendly in the morning. Since the shopping center is a ghost town most mornings and she and I are the only ones on site she started stopping in to say "good morning." Nice enough. It was a quick pop in to say "hi" and that was the gist of it. Over the course of a couple weeks instead of the occasional pop in it became a morning ritual. She would stop by to chit chat for 10 minutes or so. Again nice enough.
In the past month this has taken on a whole new meaning. Instead of a quick pop in to say hi for 5 minutes it has been her coming over and bitching for 30 plus minutes. Now you guys no I'm all for a bitch session but she won't let me get a word in. She goes on and on and I agree with nothing she says or thinks. We have NOTHING in common. If I try to pop in with an opinion of my own or a topic I would like to discuss she cuts me off and goes on to her next topic to bitch about. It is ridiculous. As I have gotten to know her, I do not like her personality at all. She is cranky and judgemental. She doesn't really wanna hear anything I have to say she just wants to come over and dump all her crap on me and then roll out. Hence my decrease in blogging activity. I blog in the mornings when it is quiet. But now it's no longer quiet. I have tried disagreeing with everything she has to say hoping she will get annoyed and move on but that didn't work. I have tried being less than friendly, acting like I was busy working, not making eye contact or even responding much while she goes on and on about her garden or her pot roast or her cabinets or her knitting. Uggh. If this was a give and take I could maybe deal with it but its not. Its just her dumping on me.
I get up every morning in the 5 o'clock hour. Get 4 kiddos off in four directions, so there is not much peace. When I arrive at work that first 30 minutes is my peace time. There are usually no kids and I can drink coffee and blog. She is totally infringing on my space and I hate it!
And again let me mention she is just not nice. Which generally is not a problem because I do not like people with rainbows shooting out of their ass at all times. But dang! I have to get rid of her. She starts my day off so sourly. And I'm sour enough without the added sourness. I have thought about purchasing this mug

and see if she gets the hint, but she probably won't.

Have you ever had someone that tried to be your BFF and you were not interested? I know I could say "buzz off bitch!" but that's a bit too rude even for me. She is in her late 50's and as I've said before that age group loves me. So I feel obligated just a bit. But how do you get rid of someone like that? Without being blatantly rude that is. And before you even suggest telling her that I have work to do, save your advice. I've tried that. It obviously was not effective.
Keep in mind I have one at home and now one at work. These ladies just won't leave me the hell alone!

Back In My Day.....Paaaleeeze!

2011-05-25T07:53:00.000-07:00

Anyone with kids will understand that it is super annoying when someone without kids gives you unsolicited parenting advice. Lately my neighbor has been full of tidbits for me. Quite frankly I am tired of it! And in a moment of aggravation I finally told her a thing or two. Here's how it went down.

I call her basically daily. I have learned that if I get to her before she gets to me I can control the situation a bit better. And I am a control freak. Now that I know her pretty well I can manage things where she gets her needed amount of attention well at least a reasonable amount and I can still get things done and not get wrapped into hours of conversation at the most inopportune times. So I was giving her my daily call. ( and this, by the way Peg, is why I can never call you) On my way home is my only peaceful time to reach her and I use that to the fullest. I have grown fond of her in a lot of ways. So I also want to check in on her. Anyhoo, I was pulling up to my home and couldn't seem to wrap the convo up. I entered my home still chatting on the phone with her and discovered things were not as clean as I like. I said a few words to my kids (while I was still on the phone) and they began to explain. Then during the convo I had to interrupt her several times to redirect or instruct my kids.
I hate when I am on the phone with someone and they spend the majority of the convo yelling or even talking to the kids so I try not to do that to people. But if you don't let me hang up then I guess you are along for the ride.
I would be in convo with her and then say things to the kids like.
"you're room is not clean"
"pick that up"
"stop jumping on the couch"
"give that back"
"get your homework out"
"because I said so" etc., etc
She then said to me "that is ridiculous how much you have to remind them"
"yup" I said a bit annoyed. Because if I could hang up I could handle that.
When the kids would reply she would say "What's gotten into them? Why are they talking back?" (talking back was saying can't I do my homework after I go outside?)
I would say " well, they are teens."
"Do you want me to come over there and straighten them out?" she asked
I LOL-ed seriously. My kids would eat her up and spit her out. Have you met their mother?
I declined her "help" but was almost willing to have her come over and show me how to do it.
She then went on an rant about kids nowadays and she would not put up with what I put up with and blah blah blah. She then went on to share a story of her daddy from when she was 3 years old and she wanted to play horsey with her dad but he was reading the paper. She smacked the paper to get his attention and his glasses fell off his face and broke.

Okay lets take a minute and picture the scene:
3 year old girl waiting to see daddy, whose been at work all day. Wants to play with daddy. Daddy ignores lil Princess bc he is reading the paper. 3 year old hits the paper to get his attention. Daddy's glasses accidentally fall and break.

Don't know about you guys, but given the age and circumstances, I didn't see anything too bad.
Well she explained that "daddy" got a switch and "tore her hide up for days". I can't ever imagine whipping a three year old so much that she is sore for days.
I told her that although I'm all about a beat down when necessary I thought that was too harsh.
Well that's how we did it back in my day she replied. And then she went into a whole "back in my day" speech.

Okay I get the good ole days but I got her good when I said "Well, I bet back in your day said in a venomous tone your mom did not work, rather stayed home with you all day?"
"Yes" she said
"And I'll bet back in your day kids did not come home alone to an empty house because mom was at work."
Confirmed.
"Oh and I bet back in your day, your dad paid most if not all the bills so mommy's main and only focus was on raising the kids"
"Yes" she said
"And I bet back in your day there was not sex, and violence and bad language in every damn show, song, and schoolyard. As a matter of fact was there even TV period?! Back in your day that is. And are all those past beatings and constant attention why you are so needy now? Huh? Is it damn it!
So here is a lil something to know about me. I can take constructive criticism about my parenting. And I have. From someone who I admire for being a strong parent. But if you cannot get your dog to behave and you do not work or do anything for that matter than DO NOT give me effing parenting advice!! Especially the kind of advice where you can do it better. I have four kids; two teens, one preteen and a preschooler. They have great attendance, decent grades, they do chores daily, they do not smoke, screw, or drink (not that they never will). They are a great help to me and they listen to me. No they are not perfect and I am far from a perfect parent but I am one of the best I know and so are my kids.

Have you ever had someone give you parenting advice? Did you get offended?
Or please tell me if you have no kids and give out kid advice, what compels you to do so?

The Crime Scene Pillow Case

2011-05-23T10:00:00.000-07:00

If you are a regular around here then you will know that I am not the most appreciative person. If you need some proof, here are some examples:

Example One

And then a direct quote from my Mothers Day Post

"My boys did arrive home with gifts and they gave me a foot massage. But it was all a little too late. The day was ruined as far as I was concerned."

I value my readers opinions and feedback and I took to heart all the advice given about example one. So when I received this.......

Well let's just say you would think I had won the lottery.

It is a pillowcase that is supposed top be tie-dyed. In case you cannot read it it says "Happy Mothers Day Love MalloryJane."

In typical Roc Fashion I have several complaints about it and I know I can share them here to spare my kids feelings.

First off is it just me or does this pillowcase look like the pillowcase of a crime scene? Why browns and red? Why right in the center? It gives the appearance that I had been shot in the head while asleep in my bed. The middle is fresh red and the edges are the brown colored blood that has already dried. CREEPY.

Second issue--Check your calendar preschool...Mothers Day was Two weeks ago.

Third Issue- My daughters name is misspelled. There is no space in her name and if you have been her teacher for the past year shouldn't you know that?

MJ is excited for me to use the pillowcase but me? Not so much.I feel like it is foreshadowing. Like I'm gonna use it and then be victim to a crime.I bleached it and it did fade out the murderous look but now it just looks like someone had an accident on it.

So tell me how do you get away with not using the crap you get from your kids or do you just be bigger person and wear/use it anyway?

Gangsta Mommy Prevails Again

2011-05-19T06:58:00.000-07:00

We have many rules in our home. And one of them is we do not trade things with people or let people borrow our stuff unless mom approves it first. Why you ask? Well, lets just say my kid borrows someone's IPhone and it gets damaged or lost. Who do you think will have to pay for that phone? I am suspecting since I am the only one with a job that would me And I do not appreciate being obligated to something in which I did not agree to.
So Thursday Mason has a 3D Nintendo DS. I ask where did that come from and he says oh my friend let me borrow it. I remind of of the rule and since he doesn't get in trouble much I decide not to punish him but rather explain to him again why this is not okay. I'm no fool so I assume there has been an exchange of some sort. I inquire about that and Mason first tells me no, he just let me borrow it. I ain't buying it so I badger him a bit more before he admits that he "traded" his $70 Spywatch for the game for one night. I inform the dense lad that "No my friend you have just lost your Spywatch." Mason is instructed to return the boys property the very next day and the important part is do not give him his game until you have your watch in your hand.
Next day Mason comes home ...no watch. I am furious but agreed to give e him until Monday. Monday no watch. I ask Mason "did you ask for it back, what did he say?" "Good thing you still have his game because I think you will never get your watch". I see immediately in his eyes that he does not have the game.
I ask him "you do still have the DS right?" "Uh, no" he says. I go in on him. Because again you did not listen to me. "Oh mom" he says "the boy just forgot it in his car. He will give it back." "No fool, he will not. And why did you give him his game back when I told you not to?" "Well I didn't" he says "he took it."
Gasp "What? (insert expletives?@#%$%@@) "
Mason explains to me that the boy, who is older and bigger than him, told him to give him the DS back, when Mason said I will when I get my watch the boy just went into Mason book bag and took it out! Which confirmed my original theory that the boy had no intentions of returning it. Now I m pissed and I tell Mason I'm coming up there. I am infamous for getting all up in some kiddy drama when I feel like my kids are being wussies about it. Mason pleads with me not to do or say anything, he will get it he promises. "Mom I don't want you at school embarrassing me" he pleads. Like I care? I give him one more day to get his watch and then "Gangsta Mommy" is gonna have to make an appearance. In case you are not familiar with "Gangsta Mommy", she has avenged justice before you can read about it here.
Next day I arrive at the after school program where Mason is playing cards with some gangsta looking kid and I ask Mason "you got your watch?" "No" he says and looking horrified. "Why not" I ask? "Well he forgot it again" Mason replies. "Okay that's it. Where is he?" I ask. "Right here" he says and points to the dude he is playing cards with? Are you effing kidding me? This kid has basically ganked your stuff and you are playing with him? "Get up now" I tell him and he does, I sit down at the table. I can tell already this kid has attitude. Silly boy he knows not who he is messing with.
I say to him "Where is my son's watch?"
He looks disinterested and says "in my car".
"Really?, well weren't you supposed to give it back on Friday?" I ask.
"Yeah I keep forgetting" he says all the while refusing to look directly at me.
"Okay well why didn't you forget to get your DS back?" I ask
"Dunno" the boy answers.
"Well You had no business going in my sons back pack and taking anything out. And honestly you ain't fooling me. I know you have no intentions of returning his watch. So let me explain something to you, Mason does not have a job therefore he could not have paid for that watch. I did. Which makes it mine. And you have my watch. And I want it." The lil shithead rolls his eyes at me. he ain't scared of me. "I'll tell you what, I bet your mamma doesn't even know you traded to begin with. And unless you want me to have a chat with your mamma I want my watch. Today."
Again.... disinterested.
"So when your mother arrives today I expect you to go get my watch and bring it in here and give it to the teacher."
"If I remember" he says
"Oh you will remember. Do you need me to tie a string around your finger to help you out?" I ask him. He says nothing. "It better be here tomorrow when I arrive."
He looks like he may be taking me serious now. He begins to scratch his head and says "uh actually, it's not in my car, its at home. Umm, I think it's at home. I may have lost it." He gives me this grin. "Well Shymeek unless you want to deal with me tomorrow, and trust me you don't. I look nice but I can be very mean I say as I give him my meanest face you better have my watch. Or I won't leave here until I speak with your mom. And if its not in her car I will call the police and you will go to jail." I am hoping he is not jaded enough that he still fears jail. Okay I know that's not very "gangsta", But I save my real gangsta moves for the older kids.
The next day I got my watch back. The teacher told me that when the boys mom came he told her he did not have it. See I knew that lil jerk wasn't gonna give it back. The teacher walked him out to the car and stood there while they searched and then found it, hidden under the seat. He told his mom that he did trade that Mason gave him the watch. I have taken the watch away from Mason for an indefinite amount of time, Maybe I'Il wrap it up and give it to him for Christmas.

Miss Friendly Panties

2011-05-18T06:39:00.000-07:00

In my quest to reach and teach good health habits to my kids, and myself I decided to join our local YMCA. The YMCA is an awesome place. I have very fond memories of the YMCA from my childhood. I signed up here at our local Y to have a family membership which would include use of the pool, gym, basketball courts and many other amenities. In all my dealings with the YMCA past and present the most impressive thing was the staff. I had never encountered a rude, judgmental or incompetent person there over a span of 33 years.
Last week I went in to turn in my paperwork to finalize my membership and there was an elderly lady working the front. She asked me "what I needed" and I explained why I was there. As I filled out the paperwork she asked for a blank check necessary for the bank draft. I asked for the date of the draft and the first would be that day. I asked her if they could activate my membership in 3 days when I got paid, I explained I currently did not have enough money in my account to cover the sign up fee and first draft. Her attitude changed drastically. First she gave me a look that one would give to someone who was really undesirable and gross. She gave me a once-over that seemed to say to me "you don't have the money?" She snatched the paperwork back and said "well you are not ready to join then". Just so you know The C in YMCA stands for Christian. As I looked at her in horror I saw the other front desk worker look embarrassed as well. I calmly asked "well can I do everything to get signed up then you can hold the check and activate my membership in a couple days?" "Yeah" she said "just come back then, when you are ready" she stressed.

This is a serious replica of her.

I asked her if I could have a tour. Tours are offered when you join or even if you just walk in off the street and want to educate yourself about the facility. A tour was important for me because I have all ages of kids and need to know the rules/procedures for their visits and so forth. She said to me "I'll give you a tour when you become a member." I was horrified at her but in no mood to do anything about it so I left. I returned a few days later and turned in all my stuff. Okay now I am an official member so I asked Miss Friendly Panties for a tour figuring now that she had my dough maybe she'd be a bit nicer. Nope! She looked at me like the request was ridiculous. I said to her a tour is an initial part of the registration process right? She said "yeah" and literally rolled her eyes at me. Without getting up she turned in her chair to the left and said "the nursery is over there down that hall." I stood there shocked thinking surely she is not giving me a tour from her chair. WTF? She then pointed upstairs and said "you work out up there, locker rooms to the right."She was done! I stood there wondering if she was serious. She was. I asked her if that was the usual tour. This facility is HUGE and offers hundred of different programs. She just acted like she did not hear me.
I went back the other day and the girl who had been at the front desk with Miss Friendly Panties saw me and said I am so sorry for the other day. I said yes that lady really should not be working the front desk, if here at all. The lovely girl offered to give me a proper tour which she did and I left very well informed and feeling better. She was super sweet.
I really would like to complain formally about Miss Friendly Panties......I mean complaining is what I do best. But the girl working at the front told me "she is very rude but had been having a lot of personal problems'. Also Miss Friendly panties is old, a senior. Maybe she cannot get another job at that age?? I don't know. If anyone understands personal problems it would be me but visiting that upon other people is very inappropriate when you are getting paid to do a job. Should I complain or not?