Hitting Pay Dirt While Snooping

As I have mentioned before I am one of those parents who do not believe children need or deserve privacy or space. Hell No! They can get all that when they get a place of their very own. In saying that since I am raising two teens and a preteen I conduct random searches. What am I searching for? Well anything. Drugs, alcohol, love notes, letters from teachers that never made it to me etc. My kids have never done drugs or alcohol as far as I know but if they ever start I wanna be all over it as early as possible. So Sunday while the boys were outdoors I did my semi-quarterly search. In that search I found my son Marlon's Journal. He is turning 13 next month. He is also the pumpkin who shot his teeth out with a stapler, you can read about that here.

I began reading his journal. In there he wrote about Valentines day. Here's what I read:
"This year on Valentines day it is my mom who is my Valentine. I don't care what people say about that. I know it's weird but my mom deserves to be my valentine and here's why,
My mom sets a good example for me and my siblings. She always puts her kids first and herself last. She is nice and kind. People say she is pretty and lots of people like her. My mom does all the things a mom should do. She is very helpful and works hard. I am really glad that she is my mom. Some moms do not care, but my mom does. She is mostly nice but can get really tough when she has to. I know one day a girl will be my valentine but she will have to beat my mom for space in my heart. My mom is my Valentine."
I know right? Sweetest thing ever. I also read in that same journal that his best memory of the past year was the Superbowl party I threw for him and his brothers. I thought it was a bit of a flop because I envisioned a few of their friends coming but they both said they just wanted to spend time with family? Weird huh? And apparently it made a huge positive impact on him so I guess the $100+ dollars I spent on snacks and decor weren't a waste. He also wrote about the stapler incident. Here's an excerpt from that:
"I did something dumb. I wanted to see if a staple would go into my teeth so I stapled them but they broke. When my mom came home she was pissed off big time but I didn't care because it hurt so bad. I hate staplers and do not even wanna staple paper ever again!"
So this time when I snooped it was great! I think I may even skip the next inspection just because they make me so proud! There are few moments when you're kids are teens that are priceless in a positive way. So I will cherish this forever.

It's Official, My Kid Is Not The Brightest Bulb In The Box

If you follow me on Facebook then you will know that yesterday my son shot out his own front teeth with a stapler, now here's the details.
It was around 3:30p I was working when my older son called me. When I answered he said "Mom, Marlon shot his teeth with a stapler." I said "Okay, I'm at work" and hung up. See my kids have quite the sense of humor and tend to embellish sometimes. Then the phone rang again and I said annoyed "What?" Michael said "did you hear me? I said Marlon shot his teeth out!" I said "swear to god?" He said "swear, his teeth are on the ground and he's crying."  In the car I called Michael back for more details he said "Marlon was bored and he wanted to see what would happen if he stapled his teeth but when he did, it broke his front teeth and they are on the ground." "Well pick them up!" I yelled "and put them in a baggie." "Is Marlon hurt?" I asked "Well he is crying but, he's alright" my son replied. My next call was to my dentist. The dentist office had to ask me to repeat the story twice because it was so ridiculous and then they told me come in as soon as I can. I arrived home and here's the face that greeted me. 

Granted it does not look too bad, but what you cannot see is that the remaining portion of the tooth is cracked and shattered. There is also a thin layer of the tooth that's chipped off along with the bottom half. I wish I had a better camera. It has like spider web cracks in it. 

This is not our first emergency for dumb kid ideas, here is another.As I chastised him for being such an idiot I also ran through all the even worse things that could have happened: shoot a stapler down your throat, shoot out an eye, etc. I asked "what the hell made you do that?" "Dunno, I was bored" the dummy replied.
"Bored!?$$#$@!! " I yelled you have tons of makeup work for school (he had the flu for a week) and chores galore" (he has to pay for a math book that he let his "homey" borrow and homey lost it) I ain't paying $70some dollars for no damn math book. He said "yeah I know but I still wanted to see what would happen." "Well you certainly have seen what happens when you act like an idiot" I said even more annoyed that he really did not seem to think ruining his permanent front  teeth for life was a big deal.. When we arrived at the dental office everyone came in to see the dumb teen that stapled-shot his teeth out. They informed me that becasue of his age they could not do a crown and the best they coud do was reform the teeth with composite. Okay whatever at least I won't have a toothless son.The dentist entered the room, raised up Marlon's chair so they were eye to eye then he asked him "what they hell were you thinking?" Yes he said hell. My dentist is cool like that. He gave Marlon a lovely small lecture and then began to work on his teeth. He was late it, was after hours and his wife was calling because he had somewhere to be. Yet he stayed and fixed Marlon's teeth. Dedication. 
He told me that there wasn't enough existing tooth to work with and the composite will probably fall off a lot and we would be returning lots to repair it but there really were no other options. Marlon can never use his front teeth again. Not even to bite a banana he has to cut all his food in small bites and chew on his back teeth for life. Dumb Kid!

My Brush With The Law

Monday, I had an appointment in Chapel Hill, NC. Chapel Hill's traffic patterns scare me and I am terrified of getting lost. No, I do not have a GPS because I do not travel out of my comfort zone. I'm an ole lady that way. Anyhoo I solicited a friend to drive me to Chapel Hill. When we arrived we had to park in this massive parking deck. On the way out of the parking deck there are signs overhead that say "Remember 3C". This sign is supposed to serve as a reminder and a warning that you should remember that letter/number combo should you wish to find your vehicle upon your return. Problem was we did not see that sign until we returned. We exited our vehicle and tried to follow the many signs directing us to pass this sky walk, and turn here and take the footbridge etc. So we got turned around a few times but found the place were visiting.

Here's a map of where we were

Two hours later we were done and headed back to the garage. I asked immediately if my friend, we'll call her Bonita, knew where we had parked because I had no clue. She said that she was pretty certain we were somewhere on level two. I knew immediately we had a problem. Bonita thinks I am a dramatic person so in trying to live that down I played it cool. Inside I was worried we would never find the car. We entered level two, no car. Level two had several levels so we walked up and down the garage. Up and down for thirty minutes and no car. Thinking we were maybe wrong about level two we thought maybe we were at the beginning of level 3 and missed the sign so we walked for miles on level three. No car. 
After searching forever I suggested we go to the security desk and ask for help. We arrive at the security desk and the security guard looking quite serious asked us what the problem was. We explained that we lost our car. He kinda sighed like again? He asked us to have a seat on a bench while he "suited up for business". We watched comically as this security guard got his security coat, flashlight, notepad, keys, etc. He locked the booth up and cranked up his golf cart. I was tickled to death at his serious demeanor, and could not help but laugh.In typical blogger fashion I immediately thought "this will make a great blog post". So I tried inconspicuously to snap a few photos of Mr. Man. Every time I tried to take his pic he would turn around and I had to try to pretend that I saw a bird or something that I was trying to capture on camera. Here is my jacked up attempt to get him on camera. 

He knew something was up so it was really hard, here he is gathering his investigative supplies.

You know how when you laugh when you're not supposed to? That is when you cannot stop laughing? Well that was me, cracking up on the security bench. Embarrassing Bonita I'm sure. The security guy approached us, flipped open his notepad and began a series of questions that cracked me up even more. It was like a scene from a copper movie. Here's how it played out:

Security Guy

Bonita

My Thoughts

Sir,  I believe we have lost our vehicle
Sighs, give me a minute to lock up and I'll assist you. What kinda vehicle is it?
Well, it is a Venture van and I'm pretty sure we parked on level 2
What was your arrival time? Do you have a copy of your parking ticket your received upon entry to the facility?
No, but it was around 11am
I doubt you are on level two, At that time you would have had to park at level 3 or higher. Did you happen to see the sign with the reminder on your way out?
Dying from laughter...'on the way back we did"  I say
Security guy did not find this funny, But I found his question stupid. I mean if we had seen the sign would we be lost??? Duh.
What is the make and model of the vehicle?
Chevy Venture
Didn't we just tell him that, jeez?
Color?
Black
Does it have any tint, or descriptionary details?
No
Any decals, fancy paint, bumper stickers, custom rims, an enhanced lighting kit?
I'm dying over here, envisioning Bonita, who is very conservative driving a pimped out minivan.
No
Hmmm, Does the vehicle in question have a NC tag?
No
I look at her and wonder if she's cracking under the pressure of being interrogated  because yes it does have NC tags.
What state tags do you have ma'am?
NC, I'm thinking great, you just killed our credibility here and perjured  yourself. I'm rolling now thinking Bonita is an idiot.
She explains that she thought he meant decorative tags
Well hop in lets see what we can turn up.
We hop on the back of the cart and he puts that bad boy in motion before we know it he is FLYING through the parking deck jerking us this way and that. Either I'm getting really old or we were going about 45mph. I am holding on to the sides hoping he doesn't tip me out from all the turns and rapid speed. We are quite the spectacle riding around with Mr Man. Everyone stares at us like we are the stupidest people in town. I can tell Mr. Man is none to pleased with us so I try to make conversation. I ask him if this happens often.
Everyday, it's all in a days work. 
The seriousness of his answer set me to cracking up again. After we scan level two and three for 20 minutes flying up and down the rows on the golf cart he stops the cart and turns around and says are you sure you parked here?
I started thinking are we? I'm getting confused, maybe it's all the turning and speeding on the cart.
Yes Bonita says
Well, we'll just ride down to level 1 to cover all bases but I'm sure it must be higher
Eventualy we found our car on level 1
He bid us farewell we thanked him
He tipped his hat and told us to drive safe as he sped off to save others.
Bonita looks at me and says it is You! I never lose my car. 
I told you, "Welcome to Raquel's World"
And off we went laughing all the way back to Raleigh

Bilbo's Random Thought Collection: An Open Letter to Congress

Bilbo's Random Thought Collection: An Open Letter to Congress

Seeing the Forest In Spite of The Trees......Chapter 8

In that moment life sucked. But I knew the pity party had went on long enough. I contacted a friend of mine whom I had hired when I was a big time supervisor. Since the company had split she was a hiring manager at one of the locations. She brought me back in to work. Of course now I was not a supervisor making the big bucks. I would have to start and probably remain in the entry level position that I had held 7 years prior. It was degrading but a job nonetheless. So we just kinda muddled through that  time frame. It was a period of rebuilding.
Things had been quiet with Suzy for a while. Suzy remained with Fabio for more than a couple months and she seemed content. While David had issues with him because he did not speak English, I thought he was grand. He seemed good for the kids. He was involved in their lives and took on a parental role. This was the first guy I had seen her with that seemed interested in the kids rather than just her. So I was happy, for her and the kids. I couldn't help but feel like David's issues with Fabio were more out of jealousy than genuine concern for his kids. The kids quality of life was better than it had been for a while but yet David still had issues with it. Then Suzy had some medical issue that required surgery. It did not sound serious to me it was an outpatient procedure. But David made a big deal of it and said he would have to go stay there for two days to take care of his kids, which were teens by the way. Not to mention that Suzy's mom, dad, sisters, and fiance were all gonna be there. It definitely was not necessary for David to go but the fact that he wanted to made me feel like he cared way too much for Suzy. When I talked to him about this he said that he was going to support his kids because they would be having a hard time with mom having surgery and he would do the same for me even if we were separated. 
Ironic that I was able to test that theory a couple months later when I was driving with my kids on the way home from work one evening and we were in a car accident. It was a huge wreck and two of my three kids that were with me at that time got hurt as did I. I had never had a wreck and was traumatized as were my children. We were all taken to the hospital and I was put on heavy meds. I needed David to stay home with me for a couple days to help with the kids and for comfort. But sadly, he went to work the very next day. He had his sister come in from out of town to sit with me. That hurt like hell. I could not help but wonder why he didn't have his sister sit with Suzy, yet he felt he needed to be there for her but for me, his sister would do. This burned a hole of resentment in me that is still there to this day.
Time went on. A year or so passed when David informed me that he did not feel that driving into town and spending a day and having to leave by nightfall was an appropriate amount of time to spend with his kids. He did not like the fact that he had to "rush home". So he began a pattern that would seal his fate later on. He decided that when he went to visit his kids he would just stay all night or all weekend so he could "wake up to them or not have restricted time with them". He claimed that he would take the kids to stay at his brothers who lived 2 minutes from Suzy. Apparently the kids no longer wanted to spend weekends at my home.  
I call Bullshit! I felt as if there was more than I knew going on. When I would confront David about it he would say "well you are always welcome to come with me". Yeah right like I can just blow off my weekends not to mention my kids. He knew that would never work so that is why he invited me along in the first place. It was so he could say "I said you can go too" when we argued about it. The overnight/all weekend visits gradually became more and more frequent. Until they reached the point that it was 4 weekends there, 1 weekend home. His reasoning about being with his kids meant jack to me because remember he had kids here with me too. His feeling on that was that  the kids here see me everyday. Big whoop when he gets in from work around 8pm and that's when they go to bed. I became more and more frustrated but felt stuck. I was working but at a decreased rate of pay and with the bills still so far behind I needed every penny David would provide. So I just dealt with it. Dealt with it loudly at first then just decided to quietly stew about it for almost an entire year.


If you want the story that led to here you can click here for Chapter 7
And here for Chapter 6, where you will also find links to all remaining chapters.

Bob Rocks at Home Depot

Saturday night, among other adventures I had to venture over to Home Depot at 8:30p. When I enter Home Depot it is obvious to anyone that I am not the hardware store type. I had my son with me and we had been going at it since bright and early and were exhausted but really needed some floor adhesive. (we are redoing our dining room) We entered the huge mega hardware store clueless. There was a "customer service" desk immediately to my left with three people behind it. One was one the phone (cell phone that is) and the other two were just standing there looking bored. I approached the desk and stood there patiently waiting for them to stop conversing and acknowledge me. They carried on as if I was invisible. I stood there another  two minutes. Granted two minutes is not very long but when there are three people being paid to assist customers and I was the only customer it actually was way too long. I cleared my throat and they carried on. So then I said "excuse me." The one lady carried on with her convo and then then finally the younger lady said "Can I help you?"
I replied "Yes, I am looking for floor adhesive." She looked dumbly at me and said "Oh, I don't know." Then the guy piped in and said with a smart ass smirk "ummm, its in the flooring section". 'Thank you. smart ass." I replied silently. I then asked "Can you tell me where that might be?" 'It's in the back of the store' he replied matter-of-factly. Uggh what an ass I thought. "Can you give me a hint if it's on the right, the left, the center?" I asked annoyed. I mean come on the back of home depot is pretty large. "I believe its aisle #30" he says. "Thanks so much for all your help" I reply sarcastically and stomp off to aisle 30.
About midway there I encounter this weird looking, older gentleman with a Home Depot smock on.

This is not really Bob, Just an actor portraying Bob.

 He is pushing an empty cart and whistling. I smiled as I pass him. He stops and says to me "Hey there. Need some help?" "Nope, I said "I am just looking for floor adhesive." "Oh well I can take you to that" he says with a smile.
"Oh that's okay, Bob" I say noticing his name tag, "the lovely people up front already told me that it was on aisle 30." Bob rolls his eyes and says "awe come on I'll take you there, I insist." So he does. Remember now I just wanna get my ish and go home its late and I'm tired. I have $300 groceries in my trunk that needed to be put away and a floor to  lay all before bed. Bob begins going over all the adhesives and what the differences are. "Thanks Bob, I say I 'll just take this one and be on my way." "Well what are you doing exactly?" he asks "Well Bob, I am......"
I explain all the plans to him. "Oh well  do you have a R57H?" "What the hell is that Bob?" I ask
"Oh it's a tool that is needed to spread the adhesive properly." Not sure I quickly call David and he says no we do not have one. So I pick one and try to move on. Bob spends 15 more minutes sharing his flooring stories with me. He is quite endearing but I gotta go. I say "thanks for your time Bob but we'll be on our way." He then suggests we go look at some trim because I'll be needing that too. He asks me a series of questions that sound like a foreign language to me as he tries to determine what type of trim I needed. I sigh. I have no clue. I call David again and he says we don't need trim right now. So I tell Bob that and  he says "well you will eventually, so let's go take a looksy and determine what you ll need to save you time later."  I need to save time now Bob I think. We head on over and Bob gives me a lesson on all the trim types. Thanks Bob. While Bob is helping us his radio is going off people need him and it sounds urgent, other workers are calling out to Bob from other aisles requesting his assistance. I say to Bob "you can go Bob. They need you. We are fine." "No, no, they can wait. I am already helping you." He replies with a smile. The interruptions are numerous while random shoppers and staff approach Bob to ask him questions. He makes them all wait while he finishes up my trim lesson. I finally break away and head up to check out. At check out I am greeted by a lovely lady named Maria. She too is very helpful. She asks me if I enjoyed my visit to Home Depot. I tell her at first no, and I suggest replacing the yahoos working at customer service she smiles and says "yes, we have some real attitudes up there." I then tell her how wonderful Bob is. And that I appreciate her kindness as well.  She hands me a website to go comment on and I sure am going to. 
But I just thought that although Bob turned a 10 minute visit into an hour one he should get some homage here. Bob you Rock!

Roc Reflections- Fifteen Years Ago Today I Became A Mother

Fifteen years ago on this very day I became a mother for the very first time. The labor was long and  he refused to come out. Eventually they had to vacuum-suck him outta me (I'm sure that is not the proper medical term for the procedure but it definitely was a vacuum)  After my initial shock that I had just had a baby motherhood kicked right in. He was a wonderful baby. Slept lots, smiled lots, cuddled much. I stayed home with him for over a year and he was my everything, my best friend, my son, my love. I enjoyed his presence in my life so much. He was an adorable and smart  toddler with hair blonde hair, the chubbiest cheeks, and dreamy eyes. Since he was my first I think we learned and grew together. And I think we both turned out okay.
Now he's 15! 15! I cannot believe we made it to 15. At 15 he is organized, well liked, talented, responsible and and growing into a pretty decent young man. Today I will be surprising him at school. I will pick him up and take him out just the two of us. This child is so much like me that it is uncanny. I realize he's getting up there and in a few years will be off on his own starting his own life journey. I cannot wait  to see the man he will become. 
So to my son.. Michael Reed...I love you and am so proud of you!