How Effing Ungrateful!

I am a closet smoker. Smoking is a nasty and bad habit. However, I love it. I do not smoke in the day at all. But each night when I take my bath I puff on two Virgina Slims. I am not a drinker, nor do I have any prescription magic pills to help me deal with stress, so this is my medication. The two smokes calm me and put me in relax mode so that I am ready for sleep. I enjoy it. It is my dirty pleasure. Very few people know that I smoke. Well until now. One of the people who does know is my neighbor. She is on a fixed income. She gets a check at the beginning of the month and has no employment so she rides that check out until its gone which is usually around the 15th of each month. Then she is broke. The problem is she too is a smoker. Apparently a chain smoker. We all know cigarettes are expensive so if you are that broke that is an even worse habit to behold. Anyhoo to get to the point I am her cigarette supplier from the 15th to the 3rd of the next month. 

It started out just a smoke here and there but now it has become expected. In my silly attempt to cut down on all the phone calls and stop-bys I started to give her 4 or 5 at a time thinking that would hold her a couple days and I would not have to deal with the dramatics. That worked the first two times then it would seem even if I gave her 5 smokes the next day there she would be waiting for me to stock her up again. This was extremely frustrating because since I smoke so little my pack would last a week. Now with her my pack lasts a day or so. I have even bought her an entire pack so that she can give me some peace but even then she blows through them in a day and she's back begging the next day. It is annoying and exhausting. I have tried to explain to her that I am a very light smoker and usually have just enough to get me through and that now that she is smoking on my dime I find that I am spending quite a bit more. I get apologies and the "oh I feel terrible" but the asking does not stop. 

Any real smoker knows that when you smoke and have no smokes it is a horrible predicament to be in. So she calls me as soon as I pull up, I am not even out of the car yet. If I don't answer she runs out to catch me. If she is unsuccessful she will knock on my door. There is no way to get around it other than to just be a bitch and say no more. Which by the way I am not quite prepared to do just yet although I feel it is coming. So last week when she was calling over and over and I was ignoring her I could feel that she was headed over. I gave cigarettes to Mason and said "quick run these to Mrs. Judy's house." He returned 10 minutes later (because no visit to Mrs Judy's house is a quick one) shaking his head.  

I asked what happened he said "well mom she opened the door and I said my mom said to give these to you. She opened the box and yelled only two! My god she only sent me two! And then she started to cry. She cried and cried and I had to come in and get her at tissue. I asked her what was wrong and she said your mom only gave me two. Is she out or something? Why would she do that? Is she mad?"  
After hearing what had happened I was livid! I started to go over there and demand my two cigarettes back. How dare she! Are you effing kidding me! Come on! I am raising a family of 6 over here on a very small amount of money. I am sure if you broke down the person to money ratio she would be rich compared to us. She just mishandles her money apparently. But I just thought it was the most ungrateful response I had ever seen. For that I ignored her for an entire week. It took a lot of ducking and being rude when she would come walking up my driveway but after about 4 days she got the hint and laid low. 
I noticed my smokes were still disappearing too quickly. I asked David one evening had he been tampering with my pack. He said yeah. "I've gotten a few here and there." "Why?" I asked irritated that my pack had somehow become the community pack. He said "well everyday when I pull up from work Mrs Judy meets me in the driveway and needed some so I have been splitting  my pack with her which left me short so I had to get some out of yours. UUUGGGHHHH

When Nicotine Makes You Drop Your Morals (war of the neighbors final part)

This is the end of the Neighbor war...until the next one. If you wondered how the war started you can click it and find out. Or if you are curious how the whole racism thing played out you can read part two. But when I left off, the neighbor and I had just had a bit of a nasty exchange over the phone when I had to go. Although things got yucky, I am the type of person who can dish it, take it, then move on. Which is what I expected to happen. I figured I would not go to the party to keep the neighbors emotions in check. I did want to go but I did not need any additional drama. 
David and I discussed it, he is closer to them than I and he really wanted to go but again we decided to just lay low. Around 6:30p the neighbors son came and knocked at the door. I invited him in and he said "my mom and dad want to know if you guys are coming or not because there is plenty food and celebration." I made up some excuse and told him that my daughter had a bit of a cold so her being out at night was not good. He looked sad and left. I felt bad. I felt mad that I allowed the lady next door to influence me in such a way. I just honesty did not want to be in the drama. Two hours later a relative of the family that knows David came by and again asked if he was coming over. David told him he would not be attending because he had lots to do around the house and that was that. We both sat there felling bad about it.
The next day I did not hear or see the neighbor which is extremely odd. Neither did I the next day. Her blinds stayed closed all day. I was enjoying the peace but knew for sure when two days passed she was pissed. Which pissed me off. If I knew she was gonna act stank anyway I would have went. I also knew she was mad because she is on a fixed income but she smokes and from the 15th thru the 3rd (when she receives her check) I am her tobacco provider (another post all in itself) And I could imagine she was having quite the nicotine withdrawals. So for her not to call or come by to borrow some cigarettes told me she was pissed. On the third day I saw her on the side of my home walking her dog. Me and my two oldest kids were headed out to the grocery store. Usually if she is outside and sees us she beelines it to where we are then holds us hostage with her griping for an hour or so. She saw us come out and made no moves?? 
Maybe she feels bad about things now that she has had time to reflect so as I pulled out of my driveway I smiled and waved just to let her know we were cool. When I did that I swear she seemed to roll her eyes and turn her back to me! I was shocked! I then thought oh Roc, maybe you're imagining the eye rolling surely she is not that crazy. But when my oldest said "what is wrong with Jane why did she just roll her eyes like that at you?" I knew I was not crazy. If she is pissed at me than so be it. Let the war on this side begin! Thursday nothing from her again. Quiet as a mouse over there. Friday I pull up and she is outside walking her dog. Since she obviously has an issue with me  I did not wave or say hello I went in to get my jacket and was headed back out to get in the car to leave and she came over and said coldly "hello" I icily said back "Well hello. I thought you were mad at me?" Shit lets call it out and deal with it because I did not have time for her shit. She then says "No I thought you were mad at me. I've been worried sick that you were upset." She puts her head down in her miserable-sympathy- evoking fashion. Always the victim. Oh no I thought. You are not getting away with it that easily. I then said to her "if you were not mad then why did you roll your eyes at me?" (don't BS me lady) She said "oh I did not roll my eyes." "Oh you sure did." I retorted "even my kids noticed." She said "well if I did  it was not intentional. I've just been so busy deciding if I was gonna move or stay" she says. More BS. She's been threatening to move since she got here. She wants us to beg her to stay. "Well you obviously had a problem I say because when I waved you did not wave back, so if you did not roll your eyes, you definitely threw some attitude at me." She stammered around for an excuse for her behavior then said "oh no I knew you were in a hurry and I did not want to keep you." BULLSHIT!!!! Because, She has never cared if I was in a hurry or not! Never! Not once! Even when I have said I am in a hurry she will go on and on. Uggh. 
So I said "oh well a wave is not a time sucker it's just a wave." I kept at it because I  wanted her to admit she was mad so we could hash it out. She tried changing the subject and it took a mere minute before she said "well I have been without smokes for days. Could I borrow a couple?" Aha! I knew it! If she was not mad she would have been over asking for cigarettes! She then told me how she tried to make it without them but is having such withdrawals her head is pounding and she just can't go any longer without one. Further proof she was pissed. Remember this lil statement she made to me? "well You're better than me! I suppose you can just drop your morals and turn a blind eye to what's going on around here in the interest of good food!"  It was really hard to not point out that she was dropping her morals for a smoke. I wondered then if I did not have something she so desperately needed would she have even spoke? Doubtful. 
Anyways. Since that night we have started talking again, barely, but I have a whole new feeling about her. She has always annoyed me but I felt that she was helpless and needed my help. Now? Not so much. Now I feel that she will turn on you in a second should you not agree with her. Well lady you have met your match because although I gave up what I felt I should do to prevent her feelings I am done with that. And we have entered a new realm of reality she and I.