My Trip To The Local High School Cafeteria

I needed to pick my son up early from school one day. I arrived at the high school and was directed to the attendance office. There I am informed that he is at lunch. I say okay and have a seat while I wait for him to show up. After about 15 minutes or so I notice 3 other kids have came and left after me. I ask the lady at the desk if my son is coming. She says "no he has lunch, we cannot call for him." I ask "well how do I get him?" She says "you have to go and look for him." That answer annoys me but I head on over to the cafeteria. It's been a couple years since I have visited a high school cafeteria. There are hundreds of teens with attitudes and piercings and so on. I approach the cafeteria door where is a staff member standing guard. I tell him I am looking for my son. He says go on in and look around?? WTF?? There are hundreds of kids in there!

"Look around??" I enter and walk around looking for my son. I, amongst the fashionable teens feel very out of place. I mean seriously it was all eyes on the old chick. I immediately felt my hairstyle was outdated, my pants were so not cool etc. I swear it was like being back in high school. 

I wander self consciously up and down the aisles looking for my son, who surprisingly looks like all the sons there. I literally feel all the kids staring at me, talking about me, judging me. After 10 minutes I return to the gate keeper and tell him I can't find my son, thinking he will make an announcement or something but he says "try again he's in there." I return. The stares return. I feel overweight, I notice I am the only female there without skinny jeans and Uggh boots.....

Is that a pimple I feel coming up on my forehead? Oh dear God. I am dying here. I, again, return to the gate keeper and say "no luck" he then informs me I can go look around the court yard. Which  I do. I enter and see kids making out, and notice immediately all the clicks. I quickly get  the hell outta there. And return to the cafeteria. I decide I will just wait there and eventually he will come out. Although I generally enjoy embarrassing my kids. I  did not want to do that to my son in front if the entire student body and somehow I think when your mommy comes looking for you in the cafeteria that could be embarrassing. I lay low by the entrance hoping to spot him. When one of his friends spots me and yells out 
"Miss Reed!" 
"Look it's  Miss Reed!"
"Miss Reed in the house!"
"Heeeeeey Miss Reed!"
 Of course due to his loud yelling the entire cafeteria turns at once to look at me. I am dying here I feel the teenage girls eyes traveling over my apparel. The teen boys sizing me up. This is just awkward! Just when I can take it no more I see him. I approach him and he actually did not seem as horrified as I thought he would be. I am the one horrified and ready to get out of there. I get outside and say to him "sorry I did not mean to pick you up in front of the entire school" "It's cool" he says  "You look kinda cool today anyways." "Awe, I do?" I ask. "Yeah" he says " you should have seen the mom that came in before you. She had the nerve to have on skinny jeans!"

Grand Theft Auto- Real Live Version

So recently my son completed Drivers Ed. He did very well and the mere second he graduated he wanted to drive, drive, drive. I was a bit confused I thought that since he had that certificate I could drive with him, but nope, turns out he needs an actual permit from the DMV. I know ignorance of the law is no excuse but it is my excuse. I let him drive me around the neighborhood a couple times and he did quite well but I have little patience and was freaked the entire time. Once I found out that he had to have that permit from the DMV I explained no more driving until we get that done. Problem is the pesky DMV office closes at 5p each day and that schedule just does not work for me. So although he hounded me daily to get the permit it was put on a to-do list.
School was closed for 3 days. Damn teacher workdays. And I thought two teens at home for 3 days alone would equal trouble so I sent them to their dads. Monday night (day two) Dad calls me at 10p. He is pissed. He informs me he is on the way to my home with the boys. I was confused because I thought I had one more day. He then informs me that while he was at work our son (which is my son apparently when he does wrong) had driven dads car while he was at work. He was livid. I was mad too but I kinda found it funny because I too would steal my moms car all the time at that age. And for all the times I called dad to complain that I needed help with them and more support as they reached their teen years. He could never help out, but he always made sure to inform me that they would not do "those things" if they lived with him. He was ranting and raving mostly about his car and the gas that was used. Not about the fact that Michael had only driven a grand total of 3 hours in drivers ed and was not only a danger to himself but others as well. The story they gave him was that they drove around the neighborhood a few times. Dad demanded that I punish him. Nope sorry dude that happened at your house you should have punished him. His idea of punishing him was to return him home and put it in my lap. I thought that was a huge cop-out since he pays $35 a week in child support per child and is currently a month behind. 
A lil side note about that child support- we agreed on that amount when the boys were tots because he would get them every weekend and also paid half of their clothing costs and chipped in on  field trips, and pictures etc. At the time it was more important that he remain active in their lives to me then provide money for their care. I could do it by myself so I mostly did. But he has since had two wives and two more kids plus one more kid that showed up from his past prior to me so lets just say the visitation is shaky at best. Not to mention that the cost of a 2 year old compared to a 16 year old is way different. I mean that boy can eat up a weeks worth of his child support in one day. 

Anyways back to the story. 

He dropped off the boys and left. Then I sat down with them and asked what the hell were they thinking?? They made light of the situation. "No big deal" as my son put it. "We didn't wreck and no one got hurt." After I explained all the things that could have gone wrong. An accident, running over and killing a child, getting caught by the police, etc. My son still did not see the "big deal". It was very frustrating. At that point I informed the lad that should he ever steal a car at my home I would definitely have him arrested for grand theft auto. He looked at me and said "and I knew that, which is why I stole dads car and not yours." 
So I am curious, Did you ever steal your parents car or did your kids ever steal yours?

How Effing Ungrateful!

I am a closet smoker. Smoking is a nasty and bad habit. However, I love it. I do not smoke in the day at all. But each night when I take my bath I puff on two Virgina Slims. I am not a drinker, nor do I have any prescription magic pills to help me deal with stress, so this is my medication. The two smokes calm me and put me in relax mode so that I am ready for sleep. I enjoy it. It is my dirty pleasure. Very few people know that I smoke. Well until now. One of the people who does know is my neighbor. She is on a fixed income. She gets a check at the beginning of the month and has no employment so she rides that check out until its gone which is usually around the 15th of each month. Then she is broke. The problem is she too is a smoker. Apparently a chain smoker. We all know cigarettes are expensive so if you are that broke that is an even worse habit to behold. Anyhoo to get to the point I am her cigarette supplier from the 15th to the 3rd of the next month. 

It started out just a smoke here and there but now it has become expected. In my silly attempt to cut down on all the phone calls and stop-bys I started to give her 4 or 5 at a time thinking that would hold her a couple days and I would not have to deal with the dramatics. That worked the first two times then it would seem even if I gave her 5 smokes the next day there she would be waiting for me to stock her up again. This was extremely frustrating because since I smoke so little my pack would last a week. Now with her my pack lasts a day or so. I have even bought her an entire pack so that she can give me some peace but even then she blows through them in a day and she's back begging the next day. It is annoying and exhausting. I have tried to explain to her that I am a very light smoker and usually have just enough to get me through and that now that she is smoking on my dime I find that I am spending quite a bit more. I get apologies and the "oh I feel terrible" but the asking does not stop. 

Any real smoker knows that when you smoke and have no smokes it is a horrible predicament to be in. So she calls me as soon as I pull up, I am not even out of the car yet. If I don't answer she runs out to catch me. If she is unsuccessful she will knock on my door. There is no way to get around it other than to just be a bitch and say no more. Which by the way I am not quite prepared to do just yet although I feel it is coming. So last week when she was calling over and over and I was ignoring her I could feel that she was headed over. I gave cigarettes to Mason and said "quick run these to Mrs. Judy's house." He returned 10 minutes later (because no visit to Mrs Judy's house is a quick one) shaking his head.  

I asked what happened he said "well mom she opened the door and I said my mom said to give these to you. She opened the box and yelled only two! My god she only sent me two! And then she started to cry. She cried and cried and I had to come in and get her at tissue. I asked her what was wrong and she said your mom only gave me two. Is she out or something? Why would she do that? Is she mad?"  
After hearing what had happened I was livid! I started to go over there and demand my two cigarettes back. How dare she! Are you effing kidding me! Come on! I am raising a family of 6 over here on a very small amount of money. I am sure if you broke down the person to money ratio she would be rich compared to us. She just mishandles her money apparently. But I just thought it was the most ungrateful response I had ever seen. For that I ignored her for an entire week. It took a lot of ducking and being rude when she would come walking up my driveway but after about 4 days she got the hint and laid low. 
I noticed my smokes were still disappearing too quickly. I asked David one evening had he been tampering with my pack. He said yeah. "I've gotten a few here and there." "Why?" I asked irritated that my pack had somehow become the community pack. He said "well everyday when I pull up from work Mrs Judy meets me in the driveway and needed some so I have been splitting  my pack with her which left me short so I had to get some out of yours. UUUGGGHHHH

Insensitive Or Over-Reacting?

Remember this?....when my neighbor thought she smelled gas and was sure we'd all die and I poked fun.

Hmmm Karma is a bitch

So David has been working two jobs one from 530a-7p then another from 7p-12a. He usually stops by after job #1 to eat and then heads out to job #2. Job #2 is a side job that he sets the pace for, so although he needs to get there, it is not like if he is late he is in trouble. He was leaving for job #2 when my smoke detectors started going off. I was a lil weirded out by that because we were not cooking or showering or doing anything that would cause that. David was pulling off so I had Mason run and tell his dad to come in right quick and see what was up with the alarm. David comes in and fans the alarm which causes it to stop and then says bye and heads back out. By the time he made it to the door the alarm starts going off again. He returns and removes the battery and then heads for the door again.
 I was shocked by his solution to the problem so I say to him "ummm, excuse me, but I don't think removing the battery is what one is supposed to do when the alarm sounds." He replies nonchalantly "the battery is just dead." 

"I'm no fire chief but usually the alarm is used to alert one of something. In my experience when the battery is dying the alarm will let off an intermediate screech sound every few minutes to let you know that." I inform him. This sound was clearly the alarm sounding. He looks at me irritated and says "Roc there is no fire so it must be the battery." "Or Carbon Monoxide?" I suggest. "Maybe" he says as he heads for the door. "Maybe?!" I yell. "So you're off to work while we all must just stay here and inhale the carbon until death?" "You are not going to die. If you are that concerned open a window." is his reply. "Oh okay" I say sarcastically "we'll just open the windows and go to bed and maybe the bad guys who broke in last month won't will come in and kill us. But don't worry about that head on off to work now. We'll see you when you come back or rather in heaven when you get there. We will all be waiting. Oh, since all my kids will be dead as well you can just give all my stuff to my sisters." He turns around not impressed and says "Roc its the battery." "Yes, David while I am sure that is the best case scenario, however it just seems like you would want to be sure" "Fine." he storms in and removes the battery again and says" I'll just go get a new battery". "Sounds like a good plan" I say. He returns less than 5 minutes later, pulls up hands Mason the "new" battery and pulls away. 
He was very fast, suspiciously so. I take the battery David has given Mason and place it into the alarm which immediately starts going off. I remove that battery and put it into another alarm which also starts to go off. I assume the battery in the second alarm must have been dead and now this new battery David just bought is making alarm #2 functional,  so it is picking up the Carbon Monoxide and going off. So I call David, he picks up I say "Soooo both alarms are now sounding. You still think it is just the battery because this battery is new?" He pulls back up comes in and says "give me the battery."Why?" I ask. He admits "I never replaced it. I lied. I just wiped it off and brought back the same battery. I really needed to go but I will go buy 3 new batteries." Which he did and all the alarms stopped. Turned out he was right. That would make the score:
Me 10000882. Him 3. 
Although he was right I still was mad because how could he be sure? What if we had all died in our sleep? I don't know about you but I take the possible death of my entire family seriously enough that I would make sure my guess that the battery was dead was a correct guess But that's just me.
So you decide. Did  I overreact or was he being insensitive? Keep in mind this is my blog!

The Drama Continues

Part One

Her Side:

"Well...I was out walking my dog and I heard a noise behind the barn (located beside my house). I became frightened. There was heavy crashing sounds and the sound of metal. I was petrified. I immediately thought that your house was being robbed again. I took my dog back to my home and returned to see what was going on . As I was returning I saw a scary looking guy coming from behind your barn walking towards your back porch. I ran up to him and started yelling hey who are you? What are you doing here? Get the hell off this property now! The scary guy just ignored me and kept walking so I ran up to him and repeated my questions. I did not know who he was or if he was a killer. I wasn't sure if there were more people behind the barn. Before I realized it I had gotten right up in his face. I thought he may stab me or hurt me in some way. So I yelled at him some more. Finally the scary guy turned to me and said I am here to see Michael. I told him Michael was in school. He told me no he wasn't. He was in the house and had invited him over. I ran to your door and started pounding on the door yelling for Michael to come out. He ignored me. I kicked your door several times and continued yelling. Finally Michael came to the door. He opened the door a hair and said what so you want. I told him to get his ass out of that house, I asked him what were they doing? Was he robbing the place? I wasn't sure, But I thought maybe they were moving merchandise from your home to behind the barn for pick up. I continued yelling and cursing at Michael who just stared blankly at me. Finally he said to me Mrs. Judy I am sick. That's why I am home. I asked my friend to come over. That's why he is here. So I told him  you are not supposed to have anyone here. What the hell is wrong with you? He said to me well call my mom if you have a problem. Then he shut the door in my face leaving me alone out on your porch with the other scary guy who I was certain would harm me. I told him to get the hell off the property before I called the police. Roc, what the hell is going on in your home? What is going on with Michael? He is up to some thing you need to have him arrested or placed in a boot cap or something. I cannot believe he was so disrespectful to shut the door in my face! I do not feel safe. I wasn't sure if they would attack me or hurt me I was so scared." 

My Thoughts:

This story brings me much confusion. Why would she be scared of my son? Why was my son home and not at school? What was behind the barn? Who was the scary guy? Just then my son calls. I ask him what the hell is going on? He says to me "I came home and Mrs Judy came here and went crazy." I ask him who was at my house he says "no one now, but it was Brett." "Brett?" I asked. "No, not him, who was the scary guy?" "Brett" he says sounded defeated."What was Brett doing behind the barn?" "Hiding from Mrs Judy" he says. Uggghh "This is all too much I will be home in shortly and I will deal with you then." And I hung up greatly annoyed. When I arrive home I immediately begin yelling at him, because let's be honest, he was skipping school again.

His Side:

He had an accident in his pants....(A clear lie.) So he needed to come home and change. He was with Brett walking to school when it happened. So he headed home to shower and change and Brett was just gonna come with him. When he got to our street he told Brett to wait on the corner so he would not be seen by the neighbor. When he got home without an issue he called Brett and told him the coast was clear. Brett headed down the street just as Mrs. Judy was headed out to walk her dog. Brett called Micheal who instructed him to come the back way and hide behind the barn until Mrs. Judy went into her home. Which is what Brett did. However he must have rustled some leaves and unknowingly got Mrs. Judy's attention. So when she went  home to put the dog up he thought the coast was clear and was headed to my back door when wham! Mrs Judy appeared yelling, screaming and cursing at him. He tried to ignore her and not engage her but she followed him. Then he just told her the truth that Micheal had invited him over. But she continued to yell and scream at him. Then Michael says Mrs. Judy came to the door, she kicked the door twice. He wasn't even gonna open it but she kept banging and yelling. So eventually he came to the door. He opened it  and she began yelling at him. So much, so close that her spittle landed in his face and after the second time of spit landing in his face he told her to call me and shut the door. 

The Facts:

Obviously my son did not shit his pants. That was just an excuse to come home. They were obviously planning to skip and hang out in my house. I fully believe all the parts about my sons story of why Brett was behind the barn. My kids know that Mrs Judy conducts 24 hour surveillance. Aside from my son being wrong for skipping here's what I take issue with. The "scary kid" that Judy referred to is my sons best friend. 

A more true depiction of what the kid looks like

Her Description of The "Scary Guy"

                                                           He is over here lots. He has no weird piercings or tattoos or anything to make him look "scary." The kid wears yellow for god's sake. She knew him! So the part about the scary guy was unnecessary and embellished. I checked behind the barn. There was nothing back there. So the loud crashing and metal sounds...embellished. Her life being in danger...bullshit! My son nor any of his friends have ever been disrespectful to her or never been violent at all. No one threatened her!  She could not have been that scared of him. She approached them both! I appreciate her giving me the heads up when something fishy is going on at my home and I'm not home. I do not appreciate her going over there and trying to handle it herself when she realized it was my son. She should have simply called me and that's all. It is not her place to go confront my kid. That would be my job. And it is definitely not her place to yell at my child or threaten him or his friends. Especially after she just fucking misidentified him as a robber no more than a week ago! I did tell her that. And I was mad at her for a good while. I also punished my son for skipping and called his friend up and had a chat with him about what will happen if I catch him at my house again when I'm not home. But Jeez Louise these people are outta control. And I am super pissed that my neighbor made it seem like she was in danger when she was the aggressor. Ugggh 
Now you pick a side. Neighbor or son? They were both wrong but I just sorta feel the adult should be the adult. What do  you think?

The Drama Never Stops

So In case you missed it I went through hell for a couple weeks when my home was robbed and my 15 year old son was falsely identified by my neighbor.

Honestly the hardest thing I ever went through that I can recall. I was literally an emotional wreck. When my son was cleared it took a huge weight off me but there was still angst. I still and never will know who robbed my home. My relationship with my son will always have this scar. But I was getting through, pulling myself together.

Sunday night my boys were wrestling when Mason's foot got injured and his dad was convinced the bone had cracked. I had to go to work in the morning and Mason claimed he could not walk so I took him to work with me to try to find someone to cover my shift so I could take him to the doctor. It's really hard to carry a ten year old at 6am. Later that day around 12pm I am at the XRay center to get Mason's foot Xrayed. I had already had an unpleasant exchange with the receptionist who was less than friendly, even snooty, when she informed me the Xray would not be covered by my insurance since it was out of network. It wasn't so much as that, but the way she said it was just snooty! We were waiting to be called back. There are several signs stating no cell phones in the waiting area or treatment area and I obliged by turning off my ringer.I periodically checked my phone because I do have several other children and you never know. I noticed I had 3 missed calls from the neighbor. I was concerned and annoyed. Concerned because I thought maybe my house is being robbed again and annoyed because if that is not the case and she thinks I'm working why would she keep calling?
Then I get two missed calls from my job followed by another missed call from my neighbor. Now I'm starting to panic thinking there must be a problem. I get a text from a coworker that says "roc your neighbor called here looking for you she said it is an emergency". At this point they are Xraying Mason's foot. I cannot just leave the waiting area. That would freak him out if he returned and I was not there so I sat there for an agonizing 15 minutes wondering what the hell was going on at my home. Finally the Xray tech returned with Mason and shockingly now he could walk! It's a miracle! Once they told him he foot wasn't broken or sprained he magically healed right up. I was so irritated with him that I wanted to break his foot so that the entire day had not been a waste. I carried him and he is heavy, I left work, I argued with dad over the injury, and now I will have a huge Xray bill since the place my pediatrician sent me to get the Xray was out of network. Uggh just what I needed.
As I leave the Xray department I immediately call my neighbor. She answers the phone out of breath and over excited. I say annoyed "is there a problem?" "Oh hell yes there is!" she screams back at me. "Where are you?" I explain that I am far away at a hospital but ask what is the problem. She says "well I would not bother you if it was not an emergency! But something is going on with your son!" Oh god here we go. "My son is in school" I inform her. 
"No he's not either!" she yells
"He is in your house!... 
And I just had it out with him!... 
Oh my god, let me calm down! She is breathing as if she will pass out at any minute. She begins to tell me what a horrible morning she has had to begin with. 
Her dog is terribly ill and... 
she's not feeling well herself, and... 
she has been so stressed ever since the robbery.... 
and today just tops the cake....
she thinks she may move....
She needs her meds....
her heart is palpitating and.... 
the dog is so upset, and.... 
I need to get home asap...."
I am completely irritated and ask her "what the hell is going on? "
Oh god well Let me calm myself..
hold on I need some water.....
Oh you are going to be so upset...
or mad but I'm mad..."
this goes on and on. I have had enough!
"Fucking tell me all ready!" I yell "What the hell is going on?"
"Well....." she takes a deep breath and begins her story....

Telling The Neighbor

She stands there in her usual attire, her robe and slippers. I scream "He did not do this! Michael  is innocent!" She seems to be in shock and says "come in come in." I sit on her couch and I tell her how the police were just at my house and have cleared Michael. She stares at me in horror. She begins to sob. Not the reaction I was hoping for?? I say to her "hey now, no crying this is great news! You can stop giving him the suspect eye and we both can rest easy knowing that he didn't do this." She cries louder. "I can't believe I made a mistake it looked just like him" she says. "Well it's okay we all make mistakes" I say in an effort to comfort her. "Oh god!" she sobs "he must hate me." "Yes, he does" I say, "but he will get over it he just needs a little time." "I was so sure" she says shaking her head in disbelief. "I know, its okay." I say She begins to wail "oh you must hate me.!" "No, I don't" I assure her. "Yes you do!"  she wails. Her wailing is similar to that of a three year old having a tantrum. There is shaking and snot and tears and loud crying. But I've seen it before. I tell her to clam down no one hates her its just that I am so happy he didn't do this. She again said "I was just so sure." I just stare at her. "But I never saw his face" she admits. "Just the back of him or rather the back of who I thought was him." "It's fine," I say "you were only trying to help."
"All your kids must hate me." she whines. I assure her that they don't. She asks me if I can ever forgive her. I tell her that I already have. As she cries and cries and makes it about her I remind her to imagine how I must feel. I am his mother and I too accused him. "Only after I said I saw him!" she wails. "Either way, I am his mother and I should have stood by him." I interject. "Oh the turmoil I have caused your family. I am just so sorry and".....this goes on for an hour. Her crying and apologizing me assuring her that we do not hate her and that we should focus on the positive... he is innocent. I eventually calm her down to where she is no longer crying at the top of her lungs just whimpering quietly about how much he must hate her. I tell her "he's a good kid. Give him some time and he'll forgive you."  She asks if she can apologize right now. I say no the day has been long enough and I am sure Michael doesn't want to hear her apology right now. "Just let it die down a bit" I suggest. As I am wrapping up my visit that always takes about 3 times longer than I anticipated I get her calm enough so I can leave without feeling too guilty. She starts to cry again. "Do you think he will take revenge against me?"
This makes me angry! I turn on my heel and look her in the eye and say "My son has never done anything malicious to anyone! He is not that kind of person!"  "Well he could be so mad now that he may retaliate." she says. I am stunned at that comment. I have decided to just go and leave her to her misery. I wrap things up by saying "well we, and our homes are safe and I am happy for that."  "No we are not" she says. "That means the real robber is still out there and I am probably next. She begins to get worked up again. "Listen, the robber only stole kids items and electronics so it was obviously someone who knew us and had been in our home. You have nick knacks and facial cream. They do not want that. I am sure you will be fine." I say, becoming irritated. "Oh no" she says "I am certain I am next." "Okay I give up. Have a good night" I say and return home wishing I had never went over to begin with.