Thursday, January 20, 2011

I Am Possibly The Worst Neighbor In The World

It has been the week from hell. David has been working at night all week, 6pm-10am.  He leaves before we get home and we leave before he gets home so we don't really see him.
So I have been VERY busy. In the midst of all this I have had to work over every day this week, and my home is getting nasty. My usually dead job is bumping with kids???? All of course after we just cut our staff back to half. There have been many other exciting things going on too, like Marlon's brand-new-two-week-old-expensive-bike being stolen. 
Last night I got home at 6:15p and made a big ole pot of spaghetti and meatballs. I did all the other fun things that I get to do; dishes, couple loads of laundry, give MJ a bath, clean the toilets, help kids with HW, help my oldest study for his exams, etc. etc. Yes, Envy me! I got it going on. Around 10p I took my bath and settled into my bed all sleepy and exhausted. I was finishing up my recorded episode of The Bachelor when the sand man started to approach me, and then my phone rang.
What the...!!! I looked on the caller ID, it was my neighbor, It was 11pm! What self respecting woman calls a mother of four that gets up at 5am at 11pm? I started to get out of my bed and go over there and kick her front door in and have an ole timey tussle with her. But I was too tired and I knew if I did not answer she would come over. Also there could be something wrong so I sleepily answered and said hello.
She said "hi its your neighbor."
Silence on my end as I thought And?
"Do you smell something?" she asks
"No" I say irritated
"You don't?" she asks again just to be sure
"No" I repeated
"I do" she informs me
"Good for you" I think to myself, rolling my eyes
"I have the awful smell of gas in my house. You don't?" she checks for the third time (our houses are joined)
"Nope" I say for the third time
"Are you sure?" she asks
Nope, sleepy is what I am
She tells me that she smells gas, her head hurts, and shes afraid we will all die of carbon monoxide poisoning.
I thought well isn't that painless? I imagined the carbon monoxide drifting into my room providing me with the peaceful and restful sleep that I so desired. In that moment carbon poisoning sounded kinda like a good idea.But then I thought of the kids so I got up and checked my gas heater and my water heater and I sniffed  around the house. I made sure everyone was breathing and that was that. I was convinced that all was well.
"No problems here" I informed her.
She lingered silently, repeated she was a bit nauseated and had a headache.
I told her to call the gas company
She said that she would and then she said "I guess I could go sit out in my car if it becomes too bad."
I knew where this was going. Let me just tell you that she can be a bit dramatic. My dedicated readers will remember some of her past shenanigans: 
1- claiming our neighbors are crack dealers
2- thinking someone is stealing her electricity
3- having it out with our neighbors for "stealing" the pecans that had fallen from my trees"
And a couple more so although it seemed mean and maybe unneighborly I just said
"Well okay then, bye." and hung up.
After a few moments my conscience started bothering me as I envisioned my elderly neighbor lying on her living room floor gasping for air. Then I envisioned the media revealing that she had made a call to me for help and I had dismissed her causing her untimely death.
So I called her and begrudgingly said "if you need to come over just call me."
She said okay and that was that
I did not mean to be mean. I was tired and spent.
I checked on her this morning and she is fine.


  1. I think she is lonely and that's the reason for all the calls that the rest of us would laugh at. But this post shows that you do have a heart in there somewhere ;o)

  2. You should have called the gas company for her. And then told them to be quiet when they came by because you were sleeping.

  3. I feel your pain. We have an elderly neighbor like that. I haven't called her to let her know we ditched the land line and give her our cell numbers, so I'm obviously meaner than you. :-)

  4. I feel bad for her because she is clearly lonely, but...hello...boundaries! She needs to solve problems on her own.

  5. did she call the gas company? Was there an issue? Or she was just looking for company?
    You're so tired you forgot to tell us that.
    TGIF. I hope you get some rest this weekend....who am I kidding with kids you won't get rest until they all move out. :-)

  6. Mamma- She def is but I do make an effort several times a week to spend time with her.

    Mike- Good idea. Why didn't I think of that?

    ETW- Too bad for me our houses are connected.

    Karen- Amen! But I have to say she is always tryna help me out with my stuff.

    Peg-Nope- Everything was fine. Go figure.

  7. i agree... definite lonliness on your neighbors part. awwwwwwww

  8. "I thought well isn't that painless?" Ha. Good One!! Cheers Roc!!