Thursday, October 27, 2011

When Nicotine Makes You Drop Your Morals (war of the neighbors final part)

This is the end of the Neighbor war...until the next one. If you wondered how the war started you can click it and find out. Or if you are curious how the whole racism thing played out you can read part two. But when I left off, the neighbor and I had just had a bit of a nasty exchange over the phone when I had to go. Although things got yucky, I am the type of person who can dish it, take it, then move on. Which is what I expected to happen. I figured I would not go to the party to keep the neighbors emotions in check. I did want to go but I did not need any additional drama. 
David and I discussed it, he is closer to them than I and he really wanted to go but again we decided to just lay low. Around 6:30p the neighbors son came and knocked at the door. I invited him in and he said "my mom and dad want to know if you guys are coming or not because there is plenty food and celebration." I made up some excuse and told him that my daughter had a bit of a cold so her being out at night was not good. He looked sad and left. I felt bad. I felt mad that I allowed the lady next door to influence me in such a way. I just honesty did not want to be in the drama. Two hours later a relative of the family that knows David came by and again asked if he was coming over. David told him he would not be attending because he had lots to do around the house and that was that. We both sat there felling bad about it.
The next day I did not hear or see the neighbor which is extremely odd. Neither did I the next day. Her blinds stayed closed all day. I was enjoying the peace but knew for sure when two days passed she was pissed. Which pissed me off. If I knew she was gonna act stank anyway I would have went. I also knew she was mad because she is on a fixed income but she smokes and from the 15th thru the 3rd (when she receives her check) I am her tobacco provider (another post all in itself) And I could imagine she was having quite the nicotine withdrawals. So for her not to call or come by to borrow some cigarettes told me she was pissed. On the third day I saw her on the side of my home walking her dog. Me and my two oldest kids were headed out to the grocery store. Usually if she is outside and sees us she beelines it to where we are then holds us hostage with her griping for an hour or so. She saw us come out and made no moves?? 
Maybe she feels bad about things now that she has had time to reflect so as I pulled out of my driveway I smiled and waved just to let her know we were cool. When I did that I swear she seemed to roll her eyes and turn her back to me! I was shocked! I then thought oh Roc, maybe you're imagining the eye rolling surely she is not that crazy. But when my oldest said "what is wrong with Jane why did she just roll her eyes like that at you?" I knew I was not crazy. If she is pissed at me than so be it. Let the war on this side begin! Thursday nothing from her again. Quiet as a mouse over there. Friday I pull up and she is outside walking her dog. Since she obviously has an issue with me  I did not wave or say hello I went in to get my jacket and was headed back out to get in the car to leave and she came over and said coldly "hello" I icily said back "Well hello. I thought you were mad at me?" Shit lets call it out and deal with it because I did not have time for her shit. She then says "No I thought you were mad at me. I've been worried sick that you were upset." She puts her head down in her miserable-sympathy- evoking fashion. Always the victim. Oh no I thought. You are not getting away with it that easily. I then said to her "if you were not mad then why did you roll your eyes at me?" (don't BS me lady) She said "oh I did not roll my eyes." "Oh you sure did." I retorted "even my kids noticed." She said "well if I did  it was not intentional. I've just been so busy deciding if I was gonna move or stay" she says. More BS. She's been threatening to move since she got here. She wants us to beg her to stay. "Well you obviously had a problem I say because when I waved you did not wave back, so if you did not roll your eyes, you definitely threw some attitude at me." She stammered around for an excuse for her behavior then said "oh no I knew you were in a hurry and I did not want to keep you." BULLSHIT!!!! Because, She has never cared if I was in a hurry or not! Never! Not once! Even when I have said I am in a hurry she will go on and on. Uggh. 
So I said "oh well a wave is not a time sucker it's just a wave." I kept at it because I  wanted her to admit she was mad so we could hash it out. She tried changing the subject and it took a mere minute before she said "well I have been without smokes for days. Could I borrow a couple?" Aha! I knew it! If she was not mad she would have been over asking for cigarettes! She then told me how she tried to make it without them but is having such withdrawals her head is pounding and she just can't go any longer without one. Further proof she was pissed. Remember this lil statement she made to me? "well You're better than me! I suppose you can just drop your morals and turn a blind eye to what's going on around here in the interest of good food!"  It was really hard to not point out that she was dropping her morals for a smoke. I wondered then if I did not have something she so desperately needed would she have even spoke? Doubtful. 
Anyways. Since that night we have started talking again, barely, but I have a whole new feeling about her. She has always annoyed me but I felt that she was helpless and needed my help. Now? Not so much. Now I feel that she will turn on you in a second should you not agree with her. Well lady you have met your match because although I gave up what I felt I should do to prevent her feelings I am done with that. And we have entered a new realm of reality she and I. 

Thursday, October 20, 2011

War of the Neighbors Part 2....Calling It What It Is.

The Neighbor War started here in case you missed it.
Okay let's pick up on the story. The next day was Saturday...Party Day! I got up early and headed out to run some errands. Although completely irritated by the drama, I did feel bad for the neighbor (white lady) because she is an emotional wreck and I appear to be one of her two treasured friends. So I braced myself and gave her a call. I asked her how she was feeling and she said "oh I'm fine. I'm just keeping an eye on those people." She asked me if I planned on attending the "murderous festivities" next door. I simply said I was not invited. This is when she informs me that I was invited and apparently she was too. She tells me that an hour before the whole pig slaying event she was out walking her dog when she was approached by the Mexican woman next door. She said the woman approached her asked if she liked good food and the neighbor, hell we need to name her, so we'll call her Jane. Jane said yes I do and then the Mexican lady, we'll call her Judy, said "we are having a party to celebrate my baby's baptism and everyone is invited. Would you please consider coming by?" Then Jane tells me she responded by saying "if I can. And then I even reached out and shook her Mexican hand." That comment "Mexican hand" really pissed me off. Jane tells me that Judy left an invitation on my door which Jane removed once the fighting began because she knew "I would want no parts of their fiesta". Again I am getting more angry. She removed an invitation from my door?! That would be getting addressed very soon.
Since I was not home I ask Jane "are there many people there?" She said "oh its been up and down I have counted 11 different vehicles coming and going." I asked her "well is it loud?"  I was tryna gauge what I was in for when I got back to my home. She said yes. (I called David after and he said he heard nothing) She then tells me that she had placed a call to our property owner and he came over and the both of them, Jane and the property owner, stood on Jane's porch and glared at them to "send the message that they were being watched". Again this comment and behavior annoyed me.
She told me that the Mexicans came over and brought the property owner a plate and invited him also. He spit in the food and threw it away. Jane thought that was hilarious. I was outraged! My blood was boiling and I just did not know how much more I could stand without voicing my true thoughts. Torn between being cordial with the neighbors and not totally alienating Jane which would lead  to having to deal with another breakdown of hers I said "well if they send me a plate I'm definitely eating it." There was silence on her end and finally she asked "you are?"  "Well, yes I am" I say. Her voice turned venomous and she asked "so do you plan on attending this lil fiesta?" "You know I'd really like to stop by as a courtesy, my kids do play with their kids and I did see a bouncy house on their lawn when I left. Not to mention I love me some Mexican food." She then said "well You're better than me! I suppose you can just drop your morals and turn a blind eye to what's going on around here in the interest of good food!"
Trying to throw a bit of humor in it because I could feel it coming on I said "yup you know I'll do anything for food, hell I'd trade one of my kids for the right meal" I started to laugh. I notice she is not laughing. She says "well I'd be careful who I hang out with because  the first sign of noise or anything at all I'm calling the cops and unless you wanna be there when they get there I would not go." Is that a threat? Hmmm I say as I ponder that. I have no reason to be concerned about the presence of police.. Then comes the voice cracking on her end and shes says "oh Roc, if you go then they will think I am just some crazy lady down here starting stuff." Well ain't ya? Jane then begins to choke up as she says "I thought you were against what happened here." "I am" I explain, "but because I do not agree with a specific thing a person does doesn't mean I am better then them." "Well I for one have a moral fiber?" she retorts. Hmmmm sounded like she was saying I did not. Having enough now I responded with "I for one, am not a racist!" Jane  yells "I am not a racist!" "Oh but you are" I say. Just admit it!" "No I'm not!"she yells again. "Listen just be honest. I can accept you for who you are, but you need to be honest with who you are and you are a racist!" "I was invited to that party" she says angrily and as a matter of fact I even shook her Mexican hand!"  I paused wondering if she had any clue what she sounded like then said "case in point "her Mexican hand" Racist." "Okay okay maybe I am!" she yells. "I have had many experiences with non Americans and they have not been pleasant. Then she begins to explain that her parents were racists..shocker there right? But seriously at 50 you should have formed your own opinions. My mother was a racist too but I knew at 7 years old that was wrong and I was not one. She then says "my father fought in the war and to his death bed hated Germans and Koreans." I said "look I get that your generation can be that way but I am from a different time and my world is not that way. Neither do I want to be around it. You are entitled to your opinions and views but I do not share them and prefer to not deal with them." Just then I had another call beep in so I told her I would talk to her later and that was that. 

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

The War of The Neighbors

Oh good lord so here we go again...The war of the neighbors. Mexicans against Americans. Not good. Here is how it went down. As I leave for work on Thursday I notice my neighbors (Mexicans)....
 Disclosure: before anyone comments on me calling them "Mexicans" I do not know their names and the fact that they are Mexicans play a huge part in this story so if that offends you, x out now. Thank you and have a nice day. 
...have a port a john on their front lawn. Not cool I think but I know there are about 15 people living there so I assume that they need an extra toilet. Hell we have 6 people and 2 toilets and that is a challenge. When I arrive at work my neighbor (white lady).....
Disclosure: Again do not comment on the fact that I call her a white lady, I do know her name but her whiteness is crucial to the story. If that offends you x out now. Thank you and have a nice day.... Calls me. I answer the phone with attitude because guess what? I am at work! My greeting is this "I'm at work" She says "I know and I am sorry for bothering you but did you see that port a john on their front lawn?" "I did" I say. "Well I plan to do something about that."she informs me. "Okay you should, because I work.!!!  talk to you later" I say. 
Fast forward to 5pm. I m getting off and notice I have 13 missed calls! 5 of them were my neighbor. I am livid. Because I am naturally bitchy and annoyed and she knew I was working and called me so much. I call her back she answers and I say "is there a problem?" She pauses, probably shocked at my rudeness. Then she says "well yes there is." "Well what's the problem?" I ask. Here is the story she tells me almost just as she told me.......
"Well first of all those Mexicans have been busy as bees over there and I don't know what they are cooking up but honey they had about 5 trucks pull up and about 15 Mexican men busying themselves about the property." "Doing what?" I ask. "Oh honey they were a'sweeping and boiling large pots of water, cleaning and setting up tables. I wait for the bad part.....(sounds of birds chirping) She says nothing for a minute or so. I think she is shocked that I am not mad that "all those Mexican men were out their boiling water and such" She begins again "they parked their cars purposely where I could not see what they were doing behind them."
Another Disclosure: let me explain, her house is joined to mine. I am at the end of the street she is one spot up, they are beside her. There is a driveway between her side of the house and their home. This is where most of the time they park. Actually it is where they should park. So they were not blocking her view. They parked where they park. 
So immediately I am annoyed at her description of their "sneakiness". Anyhoo, she tells me she went around her house from window to window tryna get a glimpse of what they were doing. Freaking busy body! Then when she couldn't get a view she decided to shower. It was then that she heard the most horrific howling sound. It was the sound of an animal in pain. When she looks out her window she sees two hogs hanging in a tree. This is not the first time there has been pigs slaughtered by them. She watches in horror as the guys slit the throat of one of the hogs. Then she runs out in her nightgown and starts screaming at them "what the hell are you doing! You Mexican M-fers! You sick bastards! Where do you think you are Mexico! Get that damn pig down now! You nasty bleep bleep bleep and so on. She continues throwing racial slurs at them as they stand there in shock. Then she begins to jump up and down and throw a good ole fashion fit. At this point they begin to laugh at her. She becomes outraged that they are "picking on her" "starting things with her" Laughing at her" so she screams "okay laugh spics, I'm going to call the cops!" And she storms in and does just that. At this point the guys load up the bleeding pigs and head out. 
The police arrive and basically tell her they are not sure what the ordinances/codes are but they will go over and see what is going on . Which they do. They return and tell her that they will have to talk to the captain because they are not sure if killing pigs is illegal. She begins to shout out codes/laws at them and they tell her that for now they have removed the pigs and would not return with them until they were dead to spare her any heartache. She starts yelling at the police "did you check their papers? Are they legal? Did they have a receipt for those pigs? How do you know they are not stolen? What about sanitation code? What if the pig has a disease that is now spread across the lawns of everyone and her dog gets sick? And more stuff of the like.
They tell her that the neighbors are having a celebration to baptize their baby. And the pigs were to be cooked. That they meant no harm and they were just following their customs and did not realize they did anything wrong. They also sent word by the police that they meant no harm. The police seem to agree with them and tell her basically to just leave them alone. She them tells them that now that they have gone over and riled them up she is not safe. That they will probably do something to her and wants to know if the police are gonna do surveillance on our street for a while. They tell her she is in no harm. She then takes the route of "I am an American! I pay your salaries! I have rights to feel safe in my home!" etc etc .At this point I am sure that they have had it with her screaming at them so they leave. She informs me that she had told the neighbors "wait until Roc finds out about this! Oh she'll have you thrown off the street!"  
I tell her to please keep my name out of her feuds. I will not have them thrown off the street. I have no such powers and have no desire to be in the middle of this feud. I explain to her that I totally do not agree with the pig killings here on on the block We are in the city limits and not out in the country where I suspect that may occur. And if I had been home I  may have called the police too. I don't know what I would have done. But I would have tried to compromise with the neighbors, explain how I felt about it and that I definitely do not want my kids to hear or witness the killing of animals, but at the same time I love me some bacon. So maybe if they could kill their pigs somewhere else more appropriate, in a field somewhere that would be a good compromise. But I do not think they are bad people or illegals or killers. And I honestly felt that her complaints to the police would have been more effective had she stuck to the pigs and not all the Mexican slurs. She then began to cry and tell me that she feels horrible that ever since she moved here there has been nothing but trouble and she obviously is making it hard for me to socialize with "those kinda people". I try to calm her down and assure her I am not mad at her for she is entitled to her opinions but to keep my name out of it. I am capable of speaking up for myself. From here it goes severely down hill...Part two coming soon.
But in the meantime, so far, please tell me who do you think at this point is wrong them or her? Or neither?

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Another Mystery Solved By Yours Truly

So my boys newest hobby is a lil something called airosoft guns. Kinda like BB guns but safer.  I'm no fan of guns and really do not want my boys playing with them. But....I pick my battles. Weed? Airosoft? Weed? Airosoft?....
Hmmm okay no weed but go ahead and shoot the shit outta each other. {Smile} Anyhoo they had to save up and purchase their own artillery. I thought that would buy me time to get them over this lil phase but nope. Funny how when they want something they will work like worker bees to earn the money. They were some grass-cutting, chore-doing, car-washing fools for a month or so. They earned quite a bit of cash and began ordering guns, ammo, and protective gear.
When the first guns arrived we had a lil safety lesson. And I laid down the rules. 
1- No guns out and about 
2- Always wear protective gear
3- There is a designated area behind our home in which they can play with them. 
4- They are never allowed to aim the guns toward our home or in the general direction of civilization period.
5- The guns must be locked up when not in use ( they were provided with a locking cabinet)
6- Only play outdoors and gun indoors must be unloaded
7- The guns could only be use under my supervision
8- No shooting animals, property or other people

And for my amusement further safety measures I had them shoot each other in the rear in front of me so that could gauge the power of these guns. Because that's what the guns were for, shooting each other. Then I released them into the wild to shoot the crap outta each other. There was a time or two in which certain kids lost their privilege to play with the guns. I would catch them aiming east instead of west... that sorta thing. 
For a while it went well. The biggest problem I had was that they would dress up in full army gear and go into the woods to play. From my kitchen window the view of them in full camouflage walking through the woods with a seeming rifle looked scary. Honestly that did not look so good. I'm sure my neighbors were thinking "there's our next high school shooter." It did look bad. If I had seen someone else's kid in the woods with guns I would have definitely judged her parenting. But since my neighbors are pig killing Hispanics, suspected crack dealers and a psycho older lady I did not really have to worry about my image. In fact it may even be good for them all to fear my children and I.
The only issue it caused me was there were eight trillion airosoft pellets at any given time rolling around on my floors. And trust me at 2am when you get up to pee and step on one.....Well lets just say it hurts. I got sick of seeing these green and white lil pellets everywhere; in my washer, dryer, vacuum cleaner etc. I instituted a fine of 75cents per pellet to be deducted from their allowances. I then had the joy of going around finding the pellets and collecting them to bring to the table at allowance day. Which went like this. "Okay I owe you $12 for chores....counting pellets, sounds of calculator typing,..... and now after the pellet deduction... you owe me... 50cents!"
Thank you! 
That problem did not last long. 
Then came a Sunday when David and I decided to go out to eat breakfast alone. We dropped princess off at a play date and left the boys home alone. When we pulled up later we heard them running through the house yelling "they're here! they're here!" Hmmm. I tried furiously to get the lock opened fast enough to catch them red handed in whatever they were doing...Eating in the living room, watching porn, who knew?? By the time I got in, nothing just 3 lil angels sitting on the couch watching TV. Yeah right. Who do they think I am? I investigated and interrogated them to find out just what had been going down while I was away and got nothing. Even the lil one would not fess up. After I counted up my smokes, measured my alcohol and checked the backyard for footprints I had nothing so I let it go.
Yesterday I decided to open up some windows to let in some air and noticed this.
Hmmmm, that's odd I thought. I did not catch right on. I proceeded to the next window and saw this.....

Weird huh? What would make these holes in my blinds??? Wait a minute.....Is that a green pellet on my window sill? Why yes it is. How did that get there I wondered. Then it dawned on me..... It was shot there! Hell naw! So three lil boys lost their guns and paid for new mini blinds. And now I know what they did while I was away.
What kinda things did you do when left home alone? Hit me with it so I can be prepared.