Thursday, October 27, 2011

When Nicotine Makes You Drop Your Morals (war of the neighbors final part)

This is the end of the Neighbor war...until the next one. If you wondered how the war started you can click it and find out. Or if you are curious how the whole racism thing played out you can read part two. But when I left off, the neighbor and I had just had a bit of a nasty exchange over the phone when I had to go. Although things got yucky, I am the type of person who can dish it, take it, then move on. Which is what I expected to happen. I figured I would not go to the party to keep the neighbors emotions in check. I did want to go but I did not need any additional drama. 
David and I discussed it, he is closer to them than I and he really wanted to go but again we decided to just lay low. Around 6:30p the neighbors son came and knocked at the door. I invited him in and he said "my mom and dad want to know if you guys are coming or not because there is plenty food and celebration." I made up some excuse and told him that my daughter had a bit of a cold so her being out at night was not good. He looked sad and left. I felt bad. I felt mad that I allowed the lady next door to influence me in such a way. I just honesty did not want to be in the drama. Two hours later a relative of the family that knows David came by and again asked if he was coming over. David told him he would not be attending because he had lots to do around the house and that was that. We both sat there felling bad about it.
The next day I did not hear or see the neighbor which is extremely odd. Neither did I the next day. Her blinds stayed closed all day. I was enjoying the peace but knew for sure when two days passed she was pissed. Which pissed me off. If I knew she was gonna act stank anyway I would have went. I also knew she was mad because she is on a fixed income but she smokes and from the 15th thru the 3rd (when she receives her check) I am her tobacco provider (another post all in itself) And I could imagine she was having quite the nicotine withdrawals. So for her not to call or come by to borrow some cigarettes told me she was pissed. On the third day I saw her on the side of my home walking her dog. Me and my two oldest kids were headed out to the grocery store. Usually if she is outside and sees us she beelines it to where we are then holds us hostage with her griping for an hour or so. She saw us come out and made no moves?? 
Maybe she feels bad about things now that she has had time to reflect so as I pulled out of my driveway I smiled and waved just to let her know we were cool. When I did that I swear she seemed to roll her eyes and turn her back to me! I was shocked! I then thought oh Roc, maybe you're imagining the eye rolling surely she is not that crazy. But when my oldest said "what is wrong with Jane why did she just roll her eyes like that at you?" I knew I was not crazy. If she is pissed at me than so be it. Let the war on this side begin! Thursday nothing from her again. Quiet as a mouse over there. Friday I pull up and she is outside walking her dog. Since she obviously has an issue with me  I did not wave or say hello I went in to get my jacket and was headed back out to get in the car to leave and she came over and said coldly "hello" I icily said back "Well hello. I thought you were mad at me?" Shit lets call it out and deal with it because I did not have time for her shit. She then says "No I thought you were mad at me. I've been worried sick that you were upset." She puts her head down in her miserable-sympathy- evoking fashion. Always the victim. Oh no I thought. You are not getting away with it that easily. I then said to her "if you were not mad then why did you roll your eyes at me?" (don't BS me lady) She said "oh I did not roll my eyes." "Oh you sure did." I retorted "even my kids noticed." She said "well if I did  it was not intentional. I've just been so busy deciding if I was gonna move or stay" she says. More BS. She's been threatening to move since she got here. She wants us to beg her to stay. "Well you obviously had a problem I say because when I waved you did not wave back, so if you did not roll your eyes, you definitely threw some attitude at me." She stammered around for an excuse for her behavior then said "oh no I knew you were in a hurry and I did not want to keep you." BULLSHIT!!!! Because, She has never cared if I was in a hurry or not! Never! Not once! Even when I have said I am in a hurry she will go on and on. Uggh. 
So I said "oh well a wave is not a time sucker it's just a wave." I kept at it because I  wanted her to admit she was mad so we could hash it out. She tried changing the subject and it took a mere minute before she said "well I have been without smokes for days. Could I borrow a couple?" Aha! I knew it! If she was not mad she would have been over asking for cigarettes! She then told me how she tried to make it without them but is having such withdrawals her head is pounding and she just can't go any longer without one. Further proof she was pissed. Remember this lil statement she made to me? "well You're better than me! I suppose you can just drop your morals and turn a blind eye to what's going on around here in the interest of good food!"  It was really hard to not point out that she was dropping her morals for a smoke. I wondered then if I did not have something she so desperately needed would she have even spoke? Doubtful. 
Anyways. Since that night we have started talking again, barely, but I have a whole new feeling about her. She has always annoyed me but I felt that she was helpless and needed my help. Now? Not so much. Now I feel that she will turn on you in a second should you not agree with her. Well lady you have met your match because although I gave up what I felt I should do to prevent her feelings I am done with that. And we have entered a new realm of reality she and I. 


  1. I understand your reasons for not attending the party, trying to not upset her, but. It comes down to your own feelings. You both wanted to go to the party. To let her dictate how you spend your time and with whom needs to stop (b/c she'll just keep doing it/playing the role of poor old lady). You can't always make everybody else happy and neglect your own wants. I would let the neighbors know there is no animosity b/c there's no telling what they're thinking. (And why did I giggle when she said hi and you said I thought you were mad? LOL! Why wait?)

  2. I'm sorry you didn't go Roc. You did it to spare her feelings and yet hurt the people who have done you no wrong feelings. It's so sad all around. She'll never move - where will she get cigarettes? :-)

  3. You ought to invite the Mexicans over for dinner one night.