Friday, December 31, 2010

Roc's Reflections on 2010

So in the spirit of the year ending. I thought I would do some reflecting.

Happiest Memory This Year- Definitely this Christmas, Thanksgiving, and my BDay

Proudest Moment- When my son made the football team

New Interest- FOOTBALL!!! I'm addicted!

Leaving Behind- Hopefully some bad eatting habits

Most Annoying Person In My Life in 2010- Old coworker, and New Neighbor

Most Loved Person in 2010 (nonrelative)- My Bestie, Frazier

Scariest Moment in 2010- When I thought my son had been abducted

Saddest Moment in 2010- When the kid at my son's high school got killed by his own teacher.

Biggest Lesson Learned in 2010- Sometimes the people that annoy you the most are just what you need in your life

Who do you wish would Dissapear in 2010- RA's ex-  Can you say unstable?

A Memory That I'll Never Forget- My grandfathers passing and the trip to NJ for his funeral

Fashion Trend I hope stays in 2010- Skinny Jeans, they just don't work for me at 30ish like they did in middle school

What I Hope To Improve in 2011- Other than the usual answers, eatting habits, weight, etc. I really don't know but when I figure it out I'll let you know

So how bout you pick at least one of theses and let me know your answer.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Roc's Reflections-Best Christmas Ever!

Enjoy, you never see these three all smiles!
Disclosure for any new readers: the joy contained in this post is not typical of Raquel's World. It is an unusual yet appreciated event to have some happy times to share so please enjoy it, maybe copy and paste it for memory because after this I'm back to bitching!

Our family had the BEST Christmas this year! 
Daddy having fun with the lil ones.

With 6 kids to do Christmas for and 3 families that must blend schedules together it can get tricky but we did it.On December 23rd after 3 visits to the doctor I was diagnosed with a kidney infection. Duh really? This adventure will get a post all of its own. I loaded up on meds and took the day off. The teen boys were already with dad, so I called RA  (resident asshole although if he continues his good behavior we may have to revisit that nickname) Anyways I instructed him to pick up the littler kids. Instructed? You ask. Yes,  Because that's what I do. I instruct people. We had plans to go to Roanoke Rapids for Christmas Eve. Yahoo right? But his family was having a lil something, something. Instead I hopped up on some serious pain meds and slept Christmas eve almost away all alone at home. Don't be sad while I did miss the big par-tay I got rest like you would'nt believe. RA and the kids arrived home and the children and I made Christmas cookies then they went off to bed to await Santa's arrival. At midnight we went to our neighbors to fetch our gifts, they were stashed at her house. Yes this is the crazy neighbor but I'm figuring her out slowly but surely (future post). The festivities started at 530am and presents were unwrapped, breakfast was served, and games were played. I then napped from 1-3p then we started it all again when my boys arrived home with their dad, step mom and lil sis. More unwrapping and good times. Then we all, neighbor included, sat down for a wonderful Christmas dinner. The next day we awoke to 8 inches of snow. We never get that around NC so it was the star on top of our Christmas tree so to speak. We played out in the snow and had hot coco and leftovers! My stepson is also here for the holidays which is great his sister did not come she's doing the teenage thing but overall no drama, no disappointed kids, not to mention I racked up big damn time, and I got an extra snow day off from work. Couldn't be happier!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

I'll Bet My Evening Was More Stressful Than Yours

I always look out for my teachers during the holidays. See it is my feeling that since my kids attend school/preschool full time there are days when these teachers interact with my children more than I do. And for that they deserve a big fat thank you! Although there are many who work at the preschool there are about 8 staff members that interact with my kids regularly so I set upon the task of making gift bags/baskets for them all while simultaneously making gifts for my staff at work, 8 of them too. I filled them with hand sanitizers and lotions from Bath & Body Works, various chocolates, candy canes, tea bags, Christmas coffee, and a few other random items. I cleared my dining room table that seats 8 and loaded it with all the goodies and set upon the task of preparing the bags. Thinking since I am a super woman why not start dinner as well? Multitask ya know? I was gonna make a tuna casserole so I put the pasta on to boil and pumped up the Christmas tunes and got busy.
The kids came in from outdoors and upon seeing all the candy could not help but start digging through it, peering in each bag I had so delicately decorated just totally fucking up my flow. Several times I asked them to back away from the candy, Yet they continued on with questions: Who is this one for? Why does she get that? Where is my teachers bag? etc etc. Quite annoying since I had to keep a count going in my head so that I would evenly disperse the Christmas goods. Meanwhile princess entered and wanted to help. Princess as adorable as she is NEVER shuts up. Oh she can talk nonstop and she does. This is cute sometimes but not when I am trying to concentrate on the chocolate to staff ratios in my mind. So I brushed her off by offering her a forbidden sugary drink before dinner. She was struggling with inserting the straw so  I asked Mason to help her. Funny thing about princess is she acts like she is 14 sometimes so when Mason attempted to help her she yelled at him "I do not need your help leave me alone!" She went in tantrum mode, ran off down the hall with the drink. At that point Mason gave chase. I heard a door slam and a loud scream. I carried on singing my Christmas tunes blocking out the screaming. Before you judge me, let me just tell you that full blown death defying screaming is MJ's new thing. After running to her aid 800 times to discover she is only screaming because she can't untwist her blankie or  Tom & Jerry ended; I, much like the townspeople in the story of the little boy who cried wolf, now turn a deaf ear to that hollering. Oh I've tried reasoning with her, explaining to her the proper times to, pain, danger, etc, I have even warned her of the boy who cried wolf's lesson but she keeps on. So back to wrapping. Screaming continues for about 2 minutes when Marlon, my 12 year old, says "mom maybe you should check on her?" Phiff I roll my eyes "I'm sure she is just mad because Mason put her straw in her drink." 1 minute more of hollering and Marlon goes off down the hall to see for himself. I then hear him yell "Mom come quick oh my god!"
My heart stops and I run down the hall and there is a locked bedroom door with my 3 year old's arm hanging under it from the elbow down. 
Heres the scene: hallway contains elbow down part of arm only,,,no child. Bedroom contains the other half of the child. Her arm is caught UNDER the bedroom door! How the hell... Anyways I immediately go into action and realize trying to pull the arm out won't be good so I lift the door by the knob and it is enough to slide her arm out. I  pick her up, close my eyes, hold my breath, and look down to see the mangled piece of her arm. But believe it or not her arm was simply scratched. No break, no cuts, no bruises, no nothing! A scratch! How in the hell her arm got under there no one knows. Not even her. After calming her down and regaining my composure I remember dinner in the kitchen. Dinner is now smoking and burning on the stove . The water has all evaporated from the pot and the pasta is burnt to the pot. Damn. So I throw the pot and pasta in the trash and order a pizza. So how was your evening?

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Roc's Reflections- Another Child...Gone

Each weekday I load two kids into my van and head off to preschool but I send two other of my children off to walk to school. One goes West to the middle school the other, East to the high school. The middle schooler has a straight shot to school on a side road. So not much to worry about, but for the fact that rushing-off-to-work-carpool-parents may not be paying attention. The high schooler, well this is scary. Off our road, to a side road, across a four lane highway at a major intersection then another super busy road then an even busier 2 lane road. Scary. Last week a boy taking a similar route was hit by his own teacher driving to work and died. It is sad and it is tragic I have added two links to share the story. Also one is a video that shows the main road in front of the school that the kids must cross, also where the boy was killed. Today I am sad. Today I also pray that my boys learn from this and be very careful so that they may return home just as they left. I pray not only for the boy who died and his family but also for the teacher who hit him, for his life is forever changed for the worse.


Tuesday, December 21, 2010

I Love My Preschool

Whenever I am at work and I see my preschools number come across the caller ID I take a deep breath. They call only for two reasons. Reason #1- Kid is sick. Reason#2- Kid is hurt. So I was at work and the number came up. I took a deep breath and answered.. It was our director. She said "Hi we are taking the 5 year olds to Disney on Ice and have an extra ticket. we wondered if you'd let MalloryJane go?"
"When?" I asked
"Right now" she said
"For free?" I asked
"Yes" she said
"Hell Yeah!" I said, after all the preliminary questions of carseats, staff/kids ratio, times etc. 

I was so excited for her and so pleased that out of all the kids they have enrolled there they picked MJ to go. They really love her there. We are so lucky and fortunate for her to have this special day. It was scary having her travel on a van with a bunch of big kids and no mommy but I trust them and I know she had a blast. What a score!

Monday, December 20, 2010

Christmas Pee And The Bitch

The people I encounter on a daily basis are so rude and ridiculous. I sometimes think you guys must be thinking "oh she is making this up" but I swear to you these people really do exist and I must be magnet for a-holes and psychos. So here's yet another. Enjoy!

I, like many have no insurance. My employer doesn't offer it and my kids are covered through their dads great plan but me, I got nothing. Often when I have an ailment I resort to home remedies, prayer, denial, begging my insured friends for the last 3 amoxicillians that they never took, and if all else fails a witch doctor. So as of late I have found myself with a lovely little UTI (urinary tract infection). Mostly women get these and I know some/most of you have had it before. Just for the guys I'll explain what this is all about. Basically you piss every 6 minutes or so regardless of your fluid intake. When you pee you receive about 2 minutes of relief then the overwhelming urge to pee returns. You always feel like you have to pee. The urge never goes away. Guys, imagine drinking 5 cases of beer and then driving in car down a bumpy road and having to hold your piss. That's pretty much what it feels like. Some people have burning and pain, thankfully I never do I just have to PEEEEEEEEE! Okay now that I have educated those that were in the dark on this I'll get on with it.
 So, they sell an over the counter pill that basically helps with the urges and discomfort but doesn't cure it. You need antibiotics for that.  One little side effect of this pill it stains your urine red or orange. Oh yes boys, my pee is Christmas red. I copped a few amoxicillians from a friend and it bought me some time. But then that bad boy came back with a vengeance. Having no insurance I have no doctor so I get my health care at the lovely health department where I am charged based on my income. In desperation I made an appointment yesterday, I told the lady on the phone that I was already taking the OTC stuff.
I arrived at the upper class (sarcasm) facility and waited for my turn. When the nurse took me back I informed her too that I was on the OTC stuff and she said "oh we are all ladies here we understand you have to alleviate the discomfort". Cool. I Peed in the cup and returned my Christmas pee to the nurse who took it without question. Then I awaited the doc's arrival.
The doc shows up pregnant and sick. Sneezing, coughing, etc. Great. I thought I came with a UTI and will probably leave with the flu. She sits down asks me how do I know I have a UTI. I tell her well only because its my 900th one in my life and I have to pee every 5-6 minutes. She says "well first off you should not have taken the OTC stuff before coming here." "Sorry, I was miserable." I tell her. "Well if it stains your urine what did you think it would do to the test strip?" I stare at her stupidly. She was actually waiting for a response. "Well it stains the test strip therefore we cannot get a clear reading which means we have to send your urine out to a lab and it could be 48 hours before we get the results in." She says clearly annoyed with me. "Will that lab bill me also?" I ask. "I do not know. I do not work there." she rudely says. "Well you work with them don't you?" I ask, now quite annoyed myself. "I am unaware of their billing and financial policies I suggest you contact them" she says.
"So in the meantime what do I do?" I ask her. "Do what you been doing" she says. Bitch.
"Well I'm quite miserable" I say. "Yup, these things are not fun. she says almost smiling. BITCH.
I then tell her that I think I have a sinus infection. I explain the pain that has been pounding in my head for 5 days with no relief from Tylenol, I tell her that I am a one Tylenol person and have been taking up to 5 at a time just to be able to function but that the pain doesn't go away. I had also had a dizzy spell and blurred vision the day before that was quite scary. I tell her I have tried sinus meds and rattle off a few, even prescription strength Ibuprofen but nothing works. She seems uninterested. She checks my eyes, ears, heartbeat, etc then says "okay well that is it."
"Um,, hello can I get some meds?" I ask "No you do not have a sinus infection" she again, looks at me like I'm an idiot. Well what do I have?" I ask. "Tension" she says. Well I'm sure this attitude you got isn't helping. Okay I'll buy that. "Are you gonna give me something to help?" I ask hopeful. "Take Tylenol." she says. "I did 5 at a time remember?" I say irritated. "Well then try Excedrin." She says closing my file, signaling that she is done with me.BITCH. 
As I sit there in shock dodging her coughs and sneezes I am so annoyed that I just paid $70 for absolutely nothing. Correction. For Tylenol. Ugggh. I ask her "when my UTI comes back positive will you just call in something for me?" "That's usually how it goes" she replies.  Bitch!
"Okay well I have no insurance" I say "and am very low on funds so could you keep that in mind when you prescribe my antibiotics? I would prefer a generic yet effective low cost one." "You can afford $4 can't you? you broke bitch she asks. BITCH!
So I left with no answers, no meds, still in pain, and still peeing constantly I even peed on my way out Twice. Oh and $70 more broke. BBBIIIITTTCCHHH.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Roc's Reflections- I don't want to be the Grinch

I caved. I care more about keeping my staff in a positive mood throughout the holidays then I do about some grinchy person getting offended that we have a tree. Problem was the only tree I had to spare was a blue one that my son decorates with UNC stuff and puts in his room. He was happy to share. 

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The Christmas Controversy at Work

So I work at a small business and our owners went away on a ten day cruise. They left us no Christmas Decor and no money for me to purchase decor. I wanted our place to be holiday friendly so I took $10 form the cash box and headed over to the good ole dollar tree. There I purchased a few non- controversial holiday items. I didn't get any Santa stuff, or Hanukkah stuff, or anything else that I thought could be tied into a religion. Why? because parents, especially the wealthy one we serve can and will complain about anything. I can recall my first year working in childcare and I brought in Easter Bunny pics for the kids to color and the parents had a fit! I got reprimanded and told that you have to be sensitive to peoples beliefs, and not offensive. Gasp! I was shocked I didn't see the harm in coloring the Easter bunny. It was a church based center so I chalked it up to that. Then a couple years later at another daycare that was not church orientated we made Santas. A parent was very offended and complained. Again. Uggh. So needless to say although I disagree with this I have learned my lesson and try to keep holiday crafts mutual. So that is also how I decorated.
A poinsettia- Just a flower right?
A golden mini tree- Just a tree right?
Hard to see, My camera sucks. But here is the tree, poinsettia, and penguins (conveniently cut off the top of the pic)
Snow flakes and penguins.
I chose the method of celebrating winter opposed to Christmas per se that way I stand no chance of upsetting anyone. Oh, by the way keep in mind I had  $10 budget for the time being. Here's some pics of my decor.

We have this huge silver snowflakes floating in each of our lobby windows

I thought I did just fine. Then one of my coworkers shows up and says "seriously? This is our Christmas decor?"
"Uh yeah" I say. What were you expecting?"
"Santa, a big tree, some angels etc."
SO I explained to her why we did not have any for that stuff. She wasn't buying it. She felt that the parents/customers must just get over it and if they do not celebrate Santa that doesn't mean we should not. I agree but I also pride myself in learning from my past. So that was that. Until l this morning when I arrived at work and this was taped to the computer on the front desk.

My funny little coworker clipped this article out and left it for me. The article is basically about the same thing we had just discussed yesterday. And the author is saying that the joy of Christmas is embracing and celebrating many different traditions of Christmas. I AGREE! But I am only the manager not the owner.

I thought her approach was subtle yet direct, funny yet serious. I commend her complaint tactics. I love my staff.

Monday, December 13, 2010


Well I've Never! ......

Until approximately 10:30am Thursday December 9th  lost a follower. What happened? What did I do to deserve this desertion?  It was right after I posted about my daughter digging in her vagina..maybe that was it? I could see how that would turn someone off but hell it was true. A couple posts before that I got a comment from an anonymous follower that was a bit heated over the fact that I used the word "whitey" In a post??? Damn. you know I've said much worse. That person identified themselves as a follower of my blog. I kinda think I know who that commenter was and I don't think it was him/her but whatever.Now I've lost a dedicated follower. So that's two people that aren't smitten with me! Well damn. I would ask the dropped follower to tell me anonymously, of course, what I did but that is stalkerish, I know, so I won't. Anyways if they don't follow me anymore they probably have no idea that I am so perplexed at their absence.

I do not know why I am taking this so personally, I drop blogs all the time just because the content is no longer interesting to me, or they don't post very often, etc. and it is never personal but Ugggh I just cannot get over myself. So has this ever happened to you? Were you dropped? Did you know who it was? Did you take it personally? Am I a nutcase? (umm I would prefer you do not answer that last question)

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Really? MalloryJane!

In order to really appreciate this post you must first read this post.

I prepped MJ for the new class all week. We read books and talked about it and she was super excited. We arrived at the studio and I said my goodbyes to MJ and headed off to the dreaded parent section. As I sat there alone I decided to balance my checkbook and facebook surf. A mom came over to me and said "I think your daughter needs to go potty." I thanked her and then fetched my princess and headed off to the potty. She had on a tutu, tights and leotard so the dressing and undressing was quite time consuming. Confession- I did not wash her hands, I wanted her to get back to class quickly. She says to me "Mommy why aren't you watching me dance?" I said "because the moms are not supposed to stay" She said "the other mommies are watching, and I want you to watch too." As we arrived back to the studio I noticed the other moms were peering in through doorways and observing from the hall. "I will stay and watch if you stay focused on your teacher, and not on mommy" I tell her. "Okay mom I will!" A quick kiss and off she goes.

About 5 minutes later as I stood in the hall with the other 8 moms I hear my daughter loudly saying "Miss Mary! Miss Mary!" over and over trying to get her teacher's attention. While staying in step the teacher says "What is it MalloryJane?". "My mommy did not wash my hands." "Its okay" the teacher says "she will do it after class'." But I need to wash my hands. I need to wash my hands!" over and over she cried. I did not wash her hands and now everyone knew our secret. I was humiliated and ashamed. The teacher got past that and then MJ noticed me and ran out into the hallway. I reminded her of our deal and sent her back. Three more times she ran out to me in the hallway. So I sent her back and decided to leave the hallway so she could focus on dancing and not me. As I walked off she began to wail Extremely loud "Mommeeee Mommeee Mommeee!" all the while I could hear the teacher trying to calm her while dancing and attempting to teach the other girls. So I went in and took her out.

The class began to transition from ballet to tap so we went in to change their shoes and MalloryJane said "I wanna go home." I thought she would get inspired by the noise the tap shoes made. She did and decided to dance. As I watched from the hallway I noticed she was digging in her vagina! Scratching away over and over. I stood there again embarrassed hoping she would stop but she did not . It was some real Xrated stuff. The way she was going at it! She was oblivious to the other dancers and spectators as she hiked up one her legs and went to work digging away down there. I was horrified but didn't want to interupt again. But I can only take so much. So again I intervened I went in and took her out to ask her what was up with that? She said nothing. I thought maybe in my rush I tangled her underwear so I adjusted it and sent her back. Dig. Dig, Dig over and over she would not stop! I swear she appeared to have crabs or a bad yeast infection. After 15 minutes she finally stopped. Thank god I said to myself but the damage was forever done. I watched 2 minutes go by uneventful then noticed she decided to sit on a bench and not dance at all. Ugggh.

The class took a water break and I went in to talk to MJ. "I wanna go to sleep, I wanna go home and go to bed!" she declared. I decided at this point it just won't happening so I held her in my arms and we watched the rest of the girls tap their hearts out. As we watched the girls dance MJ did each move in my arms while I held her. I said to her "See you are good! Why not go back and dance with your friends?" "No!" she said rudely. Defeated, I continued to hold her. 10 minutes later she said "I wanna dance with the girls mommy." Okay I said and sent her in , She fell right in step and began the routine. Suddenly she stopped and stuck her finger up her nose and pulled out a green nasty buoger that she immediately and drammatically placed in her mouth. WTF!?$#@! What the hell is going on here!? I was horrified. Why is she doing this? I was so upset I swear she is never gross. She is always actually quite the little lady. I could take it no more I got her out and started to get her dressed to leave. That's when I noticed two of my long hairs had gotten stuck in her tights in the vaginal area and were twisted up in her tights. So that explains why she dug in her vagina for 20 minutes. (I had to clear that up). The bouger? Well I have nothing.

I can only thank god she did this around these moms and not the meanie ones from the other class. We are taking a break from dance for a month and will reconsider in January. I just can't take anymore right now.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Roc's Reflections- I Like George Bush

I hated Bush as our President. But now that I've seen him on several interviews, I actually like him. I found him insightful, strong, witty, and reflective. He also admitted mistakes and regrets which I can admire. But what I liked most about him was that he would not trash our president despite all the trashing that had been done to him. So while I think he sucked as our president he is an awesome Post-President. Although I liked him on most interviews he gave, this 1 minute clip of him standing up to Bill O'Reilly is my absolute favorite! Enjoy!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

The Fruit Lady

So this lady and a guy just pulled up in a truck and she entered our facility. I said "Hello" and she said hello back, she then she placed two apples and an orange on our reception counter and said "Would you like to buy some fresh fruit today?"

Well if I did I would go to the market and purchase it. I said "no thanks." she said "why not?, It's fresh and homegrown." I would not think that is a selling point. But I am not a fruit salesman so I'm not sure. The fruit didn't even look good. It was lacking in color. Anyways " I lied and said "oh I just bought a bunch of fruit for Thanksgiving" She got pissed off, rolled her eyes at me and stormed out.

Quite frankly, I'm sure she a meth addict. Who the hell peddles fruit in a shopping center with an attitude?

Monday, December 6, 2010

A Period Post

I go by the bank to cash my paycheck that my employer forgot to direct deposit again. The lady is too loud as she welcomes me at the drive through window. She gives me some cash and asks if I want a lollipop. I turn around to check the car seats..nope no kids back there.. whew close one. So no lady, I do not want a lollipop are you insinuating that I am a baby? The car next to me pulls up with one of those souped up mufflers that sound like a 747 is landing. The noise annoys the ish outta me. Uggh. I glare nastily at the young chap.

I head off to the good ole Dollar Tree. This is so I can shop freely and get a bunch of ish and feel like I went on a shopping spree. I get to aisle 3 and there is a worker restocking. I patiently wait with my cart for her to move her fat ass outta the way. She carries on. I say "excuse me." She says nothing. But give sme a look. I have to pull outta aisle 3 and head back down aisle 2 that I already went down so that I can circle around and go down aisle 3 on the other end. I already went down aisle 2 so this is a colossal waste of my time. On aisle 4 I encounter 2 children with no parents in sight. They are tearing ish off the shelves at an alarming pace. The mother in me wants to give this kids a little smackaroo for they are old enough to know better than to do this ish! I stare in horror as they continue destroying aisle 4. I  crack my knuckles and prepare to  handle this but then I snap back to reality  and decide to look for the parents. I can't figure out who they belong to so I skip aisle 4 and head over to aisle 5 where I encounter a whiny 4 year old that is whiny, whiny ,whiny. Her moms speaks a foreign language end excuse me but between the foreign language and whining I skip this aisle too. It is all too much to bear. I check out and leave.

Over to Walmart I go. I pass a mirror and get a glimpse of my miserable looking face and decide to try to appear cheery. I smile at people in the aisle and surprisingly not one smiled back. The nerve!

As I pull onto my road I notice my house has been decorated for the holidays by my neighbor.

WTF? Not sure if I am offended or delighted.I see there is no room for my holiday decor. Our houses are joined and she has decorated them identically. I in typical Roc fashion decided that this is a slick way for her to portray us as a united front to the rest of our neighbors who she has been feuding with. So now I'm pissed. I get out unload my packages and enter my home to discover that one of my boys did not do the list of chores that I left for him. At this point I go off. Now I am even more irritated because I have to go thank the neighbor, and I know that will take hours and I'm already home late and haven't even started dinner but if I don't go there she will certainly come here. So I  begrudgingly head on over As soon as she opened the door I said "I only have 100 seconds but I just wanted to say thank you." She tells me how she cleaned off my front window ledges, weeded my garden and picked up all my trash that blew out of my recycling cans.(we had a storm overnight) I told her that was all unnecessary yet appreciated. She suggested we have a movie night together. That will NEVER happen. She then went on and on for an hour. I started dinner, something quick cause its getting late and I'm tired. An hour later I wonder why the pasta pot is not boiling.It appears my burner has died. ugggh. So now the fresh baked bread is cold and the pasta hasn't even started. Dinner is ruined.

 The RA comes in from work all happy and smiley. That too pisses me off. How dare he be happy when I'm mad! I say good that you are home you need to .....and I rat off  a long list of things I need him to do. He looks at me like I'm retarded. After all he just worked a 12 hour shift. So attack mode I go it.
 I stay in this bitchy mood all evening long. Snapping at the children, growling at the stove, scowling at the neighbors, slamming cabinets and refrigerator doors. Yes, I am outta control. Yes I know that. But my back is achy and my legs are tired and my spirit is weak and I just wanna take a bath, smoke a cig and go to bed. But I just can't stop bitching. Finally after I told all my kids and the RA everything that was wrong with them twice I went to pee and well that explains it. Jeez is this what happens when you get old? I used to be the tennis playing, white pants wearing, skipping through the meadows girl during this but not anymore. Mark your calendars 28 days from now we;ll do it all again.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

RePost- My Mexican Hell

First let me begin by saying that two of my children and ex husband are of Hispanic that gives me free will to comment and not be racist.:)

There is a lovely little house across from me. I am at the bottom of a dead end street. A street that contains only 6 houses. Three which are vacant. The one across from me is such a cute house for a family, old school covered porch with a lovely porch swing a beautiful yard and an amazing array of old and mighty trees, perfect for raising a family.
However, for the past 4 years that house has been rented to GROUPS of Mexican men. Many different groups that trade out in the night. Just as you begin to recognize them they disappear and are replaced by a new group. Something like an underground railroad. Most of the groups have been okay. I mean the yard is not greatly kept up nor the porch and the soccer games of 30+ men have provided me some entertainment. The men work and don't bother anyone well except for the 15 different cars that pull up and honk the horns in the wee hours of the morning as the men head off to work.

The last group was the worst of the bunch. Their front lawn and porch was covered with Natural Light cans.. about 1,000 of them at least. They played their carnival music loud and had a habit of speeding up and down the road. Thankfully they are now gone and the property owners spent weeks just cleaning the place up all the while complaining that this will not happen again.

Over the past few weeks I have spotted many a family come by to view the house. Each time getting my hopes up hoping that my kids would have some nice playmates close to home. This one family came several times seeming wonderful, through my slatted mini blinds at least. Saturday I awoke to the noise of new neighbors. Yeah! I opened my blinds to get a peek and NOOOO! Eighteen cars littered the streets and driveway! All I saw was Hispanic men everywhere! What happened to the nice family? Where are the kids! Calm down I told myself.. maybe they are just helping the nice family move in. But no I think not... at 3am Saturday night all the cars left and I noticed there were end tables, baby furniture, and bags of clothes on the porch.... the uncovered part. All getting rained on. The trash can is overflowing by the curb animals have gotten into it and there is litter everywhere. And it is Tuesday the furniture and clothes remain and the trash is spreading farther. HELP!! Save me from my Mexican Hell!

UPDATE- So a year later and that family still remains. I have no clue who lives there I often see a mom walking the kids to the bus stop but other than that I never see any kids outside?? I do see different men and women coming and going but I'm way too busy to keep watch over them. They now have a bookshelf and a couch on the front porch.This is also the family that my new neighbor has deemed "crack dealers". The jury is still out on that one and now....according to the neighbor....they have chickens running around their yard. I have not seen a chicken as of yet but I got my eyes on them. When I moved here 8 years ago the neighborhood was all white, with one Hispanic family, then a whitey moved out and a black family moved in. Now there are no blacks, no whites, just Mexicans and me and the lady next door. I do kinda feel like I live in Mexico, there is often carnival music playing but I find their culture interesting and they do send me tacos and shit so it's not too much of a bother but for the fact that I am now the minority on my street.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

My Blog's Outlook For The Future

I was doing some reflecting about my blog. And I am kinda sad that some of my more entertaining posts were not seen by many. There is some decent stuff in my archives that I cannot bear the thought of just sitting there collecting dust. So to celebrate my blogiversary I will be re posting an old post about once a week. That's the plan anyway. We'll see how it goes. I hope I do not lose anyone's interest. I will also add to the comment an  update on the situation. Maybe how I have grown from it. Or maybe nothing insightful at all just a comment.

So other than the redesigning that I just did, that's my big plan. I will also be adding a weekly thing called "Roc's Reflections". This will contain my random thoughts or more likely complaints. Maybe even just a thought or quote or memory,,,could be anything really. I think it will be fun, fun, fun!
Hope you all enjoy!

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Out of The Mouth of Babes

I was attending a Thanksgiving Luncheon at princesses preschool. One in which all the parents, maybe 12 of us were seated at a long table with all the kids. As we began to eat the room was pretty quiet all except for the one little girl beside me who's parents obviously did not make it. I felt so bad for her and them. This little girl cried and cried and cried and cried. Despite the efforts of the teachers to console her. I thought I would sit between her and my daughter and be her "mommy" for the luncheon as I would hope someone would do for my daughter in my absence. So I tried to chat it up with the sad little girl. She was not impressed. Despite my best efforts she would not engage in convo with me. My daughter quietly observed all this. She then looked at me and said "mommy whats wrong with Mary?" I, trying not to draw attention to the already upset little girl, said to my daughter "she's just not feeling well honey". To that she responded very loudly "no shes not! Her mommy's not here and shes pissed!" There was a collective gasp as the other parents heard that word from my daughters mouth. I tried to ignore it and carry on with another conversation but in true MJ fashion she repeatedly asked "Is she pissed mommy? Is she? Mommmmy is she pissed off that her mom is not here?" Her teacher, whom I love laughed and got the convo moving in a different direction.

I began to try to converse with Mary again. In my attempt to make small talk I asked Mary if she was enjoying her lunch? I got nothing. I then asked if she liked milk? She half smiled. So I began to try to convince her that I loved milk. So I said "are you gonna drink your milk Mary?" My daughter obviously tired of sharing her mom piped up "I love milk mommy!"

A little background here-My princess went through a bed wetting phase. It appeared that not drinking after a certain point in the evening saves this midnight drama. She's 3 and quite clever so I knew if I broke it down for her she would get it. So I sat my little princess down for a chat one day and explained to her that when we drink it goes into our mouth, I pointed to my neck and said then it travels down our throat, into our tummies and out of our vaginas into our bed at night.

And yes, I said VAGINA, VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA.. That was fun. anyvagina, (I said it again teeheehee) I believe in teaching our kids the proper names of their body parts. I believe I learned that on Oprah ? Back to the story....

"Look mommy I drank all my milk and now its gonna come out my vagina, right mommy?" I tried not to laugh and said "that is right MJ"  and she said "Mommy is your milk coming out  your vagina too?" The parents looked horrified.

 I just smiled at them all and said "isn't she so smart?"

Monday, November 29, 2010

Thankful To Be Shocked

It went well.

I'm still in shock.
 No one was injured.
No one stormed out with the threat of "you'll never see me or my kids again!"
There was no trashing of anyone outside in the smoking area?? WTF??
The one time I counted on my family to give me some good material...nothing! Go figure?
Everyone looked nice, acted nice, and I am just still in shock. I am happy that we had this opportunity. Our kids had a blast and we took lots of pics and ate lots of food. There were lots of hugs, and helpfulness and compliments??? I am just still in shock. I am grateful and happy but in complete shock. There was one little issue that gets a post all on its own at some point but no need to ruin the good memory here. So sorry if I've let anyone down with my lead up to this juicy story but I have nothing???
And for that...

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Thanksgiving....Let The Drama Begin

Add a few more ladies, and this pic about sums us up. Gangstas, mixed in with Rednecks.
                                As you may or may not know I have been estranged from my family for several years. Here's the breakdown...

Mom- Psycho, alcoholic, drama queen. Our relationship was doomed from the start She always wanted a boy and had two girls already when I came along so she was over the whole girl thing. Then came her golden boy nine months after me so basically I was a forgotten, regretted child from the start. It didn't help that the world loved me. That made my mom  hate me even more. After many, many incidents of her uncaring, drama-filled episodes I decided it better to cut her out of my life for my own sanity. I sent pics to her once, she never responded. I have no regrets. I am much happier and mentally healthier without her toxicity in my life.We have spoken once in7or more years and have seen each other once at a funeral. A funeral you can read bout here and understand how crazy she is. At the funeral she proclaimed she would reignite our relationship once we returned to NC and even meet her beautiful granddaughter that she's never met despite living 15 minutes away. Once we returned we never heard from her again.

Brother- I was super close to him as we entered our adulthood together, we are only nine months apart. I LOVED my bro. Somehow though he made a few bad choices regarding women/children and turned into a complete ass. I found him demeaning to his children and a bastard to be around in general therefore our relationship became estranged a couple years ago. We still remained in touch until I confronted him about something he told my sisters and then he decided he didn't want to talk to me anymore. This relationship ending was sad for me but the brother I knew hadn't seemed to exist for quite some time so I was okay with the ending of our relationship. After our grandfathers death we started talking and are now on decent terms.

Sister #1- She reads my blog. No issues here.

 Sister #2- She and I have had a roller coaster relationship all our lives. She is the kind of sister you love when you love but hate when you hate. She can be your best friend. She is the favorite aunt for all the kids. We were mostly close most of my life but then about 5 years ago she took up with this loser and he told her a bunch of lies and she decided she wanted no more to do with me. It was very frustrating to have your sister pick a loser over you but what are you gonna do? Last Thanksgiving she reached out to me and I packed up my kids and went to see her. We had a blast together and I realized how much I missed her. Although I was not the one who called this particular relationship off, I hold a grudge like no one's business and although my sister who lives 20, minutes from me was on her death bed twice, I never reached out to her. Truthfully I was really hurt that she would believe her guy over me. I guess over time she has realized that he is a liar and is now ready to mend broken fences.

Never in history have all four siblings and mom been at peace all at the same time . It has always been DRAMA. Two sisters against one, me and my brother hating on them, the two more wealthy of the four against the poorer of the group etc. Over the years my mother has added to and even single handily stirred up the majority of the drama. Spreading gossip, or she would notice two sisters getting closer, feel left out and then throw a monkey wrench into the whole damned thing. Oh and she had a way of acting so innocent when it all blows up.

Anyturkey, we are all getting together for Thanksgiving this year. This will be the first time my mother has seen my children in 7 years and the first time she has ever seen my daughter. I cannot wait to show her how a mother should treat her daughter. This will be the first time I meet my niece. This will be the first time we will all be together kids and all since we were children despite the fact that we live all within a 25 mile radius of one another. Should be interesting eh?

Here's a couple tools I will be utilizing:

This should help us determine who to blame for what.

In case all else fails.


Stay tuned for the post Thanksgiving post. But if you absolutely want some dysfunction now click here for an excerpt from the funeral we all attended in April.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Lost Then Found

So my son Marlon has completed his football season and now is trying out for basketball. His school lets out at 2:20p and the walk home is 5 minutes, 10 max. When he has sports he has practice and gets home around 4:15p no later than 4:30p.

A little bit about my Pooty (Marlon). He is my good boy! He never gets in trouble and is not a very social guy. I do not know how to explain him. He's gorgeous and talented but just so even-keeled that 95% of the time you can get no emotion out of him, which in turn makes him easy to deal with. He is the teenager that still wants a kiss from mom at carpool, opposed to the one that wants to be dropped off a mile away out of every one's view. No mood swings, no emotional roller coasters, no tantrums, no attitude etc. Easy Peasy! But about 5% of the time he's an ass. If you compare that to the ratio the remainder of the family acts like an ass which is about 30%-60%, He's a dream child. He is the family snitch. He tells me when shit goes down that I did not know about, like what his big bro is up to when I m not around etc. I can always count on Pooty.

Back to the story,  I arrived home Tuesday around 5p. I immediately looked for Marlon. I wanted to know how tryouts had went. The RA told me "Marlon's not here." The RA can be lazy sometimes. So I said to him "You mean he's not in the living room? I'm sure he's here." "I haven't seen him" he says. "Well I'm sure you didn't look in his room" I say. I enter Marlon's room. He's not there. After checking all the other rooms it becomes clear that he never came home. Hmmm I thought. He must still be at school.

I head on up to the school house just to be certain. There are two cars in the parking lot and none in the pick up area. Usually if there is a sports event there are cars lined up in the pick area up and down the street, No cars. Odd I thought, I headed for the gym. The doors were locked. I tried a few other entrances to the school, all were locked. No signs of life in there. I wondered had the teenage bug finally bitten my son? Is he off somewhere he has no business? I began to drive around town, checking all the teenage local hang out spots, the park, ice cream shop, the BBall courts, the routes to and from home. This was all just for show because I knew my Marlon would never go off somewhere and not tell me. After checking all these places to no avail and the suns setting I started to panic a bit on the inside.

 I went back up to the school and checked again just because... well there was no where else to look. I drove around the school a few times when I spotted an older lady with a school badge. I approached her and asked her if there were kids still in  the school. She said no, definitely not all the kids had gone. I explained that my son had BBall tryouts and had never showed up home and I was concerned because I could not find him. I asked  her if she could go with me into the building to look for him she said no she couldn't. I then asked her if she knew which car the coach drove and if it was the one parked in the lot because if so then I could relax a bit and know that maybe he was with the coach. She claimed to not know.She seemed quite disinterested and informed me that no one except her and two janitors remained in the building. She pointed to a guy standing in front of the building, "there is one now and he's leaving but you can double check with him if you'd like" she said, obviously eager to get going.

So I ran over to him and asked him the same barrage of questions that I had asked the helpful teacher lady.  He told me  that BBall  tryouts  ended at 4pm. It was now 5:40p and he himself had cleaned the gym and no one was there. He said all the kids left by 4:30p. Now I panicked. I drove home 100 miles per hour, ran into the house and asked RA "did he come home?"  RA, unimpressed at my panic simply said no. I ran through the house looking under beds and in closets screaming his name. See sometimes just to annoy me Marlon will hide from me. After I searched the last spot and realized he wasn't there I began to cry. I ran outside again. I hopped into my van, crying now uncontrollably in a sheer panic. I had no idea what to do where to look. I am a big watcher of Nancy Grace and every night I am absorbed with watching stories on how teenagers get kidnapped, killed etc.

Also our surrounding neighborhoods has started to go down a bit and had gang activity. I kept thinking maybe he was walking home and got jumped or stabbed or any other of the thousands of deaths that occur to kids every day. I thought maybe it had started to rain and someone offered him a ride and that's it. He's gone and no one knows anything. I cried helplessly as I drove around and around the school. I searched ditches, wooded areas, anywhere I could think he may have been. I did not want to call the police because I knew once I did it was a sure thing. I had lost my son. I called his dad and screamed to him that it was his fault this happened b/c I have one of our teens on my cell plan he had agreed to add the other to his and had not done it yet. So my baby was out there with no way to call me. He had no clue why I was crying I tried to explain but he couldn't understand me with all the sobbing so I hung up pulled over cried like hell. I then decided to go to the police station 3 blocks away.

My other son Michael was in the van with me so he said "Mom, I really think you are overreacting. I'm sure he's fine, He's  probably at the school." "No!" I screamed at him "No one is at the school! Two people that work there told me that!" "Mom, He tried again "let's just try one more time. He's gotta be there Marlon' would not just not come home." "Exactly." I said and cried harder as visions of my son injured and scared maybe even dead popped into my head. "It's on the way to the police station, just try once more. Let me look around" he says. So I did. This time when we approached the school there was another worried mom standing out there on her cell phone. I told my son to go ask her if her son hadn't come home too? I could not because I was a blubbering snotty mess from the crying. Then another car pulled up and another. Each car was like a ray of sunshine peering through the clouds.

The end of it is he was in the school building with 58 other kids and a coach! Now a few things to say here. Apparently he had told me while I was ironing, cooking, probably on the phone and doing laundry that he had to stay later that day. I just missed it entirely. Also the people that worked there assured me he was not there. I'm sure if you have teens or even was a teen  at some point you are thinking.. lady chill out. It is not that uncommon for a teen to take off for a bit or not come home. And you probably think I was overreacting. And maybe I was had it been your kid. But my kids are kept on a tight leash and do not go anywhere unless I have scoped the place out and preapproved and then made clear expectations on when they should return. My Marlon would never, ever do something like take off and not tell me. And I was right, he didn't. Guess what I'll be buying Marlon for Christmas?

Wednesday, November 17, 2010


Guess who's famous?
Me! That's who. I have been dodging paparazzi all day and night and taking calls from the media and Oprah. Okay- now for real. What had happened was...

I was bored at work and decided to check out my stats and traffic sources. When I noticed that a traffic source was Well I went there and low and behold guess who was mentioned?

Me! Me! Me!
Such a pretty pic, I know but don't worry.. my soon to be riches will hook all this up!
The article was not about me, rather about another blogger...Nerdy Apple Bottom, which was referred to me by my online Bestie Peg. She doesn't know that we are besties yet but as soon as she finds out how famous I am, I'm sure she won't mind. She'll be the Nicole to my Paris. Anyhoo after my post Fuquay-Varina 90210 she commented that I should read the Apple Bottom blog, which I did and the post outraged me, as usual. So I commented all foulmouthed and righteously on it. Then Friday I was watching The View and I saw the pic that was on the Apple blog. I was all excited that the hot topic of the day was derived from that blog! Yeah fellow blogger! But then yesterday I followed the link to the digitaljournal page and there was an article about the same topic and the blogger and my comment was right there in the article! If you click it guess what? You end up here!

Here is a cut and paste just in case you were too lazy to click the link I so conveniently provided you.
One, Raquel – referring to her own blog, Raquel's World – wrote:
Okay – You should read my post from yesterday when I had to deal with a group of snotty moms. People should mind their own business. Hello idiots! Did you not just see all the recent suicides of KIDS that were ridiculed for being gay . . . at 13? Uggh. We wonder where the kids get it from. They get it from their damn busy body moms. The moms that have to throw shade on your kid so their kid can get some much needed attention.

So I am planning my big press release, my thank you speech. I am going on a diet to look good for my View and Oprah's interviews. I would suggest you follow me, I'm going big places you know.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Overly Sensitive?

So dance class this past week was ummm.... I dunno how to describe it. Let's see the 90201 biznitches from last week were not in such high numbers in the parent area. Actually attendance was really low. It was the Aplha-Mom (AM), The nappy-headed-commenter-mom (NHCM) and me. The other parents were in a another room watching a movie with their older kids. NHCM  actually smiled and said hello to me. Huh? Her smile seemed genuine and her voice was not condescending at all. AM was still unfriendly but didn't throw her power around as much because the rest of her cronies were not there I guess. She still turned her nose up a bit and dominated NHCM in the parent area but she was more low key.

She did brag a lot however about how she has given her neighbors and friends so much clothes that every time she sees the kids they are wearing her clothes. Annoying. Also she was bragging speaking about the upcoming vacation her and her hubby will be taking to the Greenbrier in West Virginia...from what she says "it is a place where kings and queens stay." Okay, once again if you got it going on like the royal family... why not pay for your kids to dance at the real dance studio down the street? Anyways, I put my bitch face on and my extra rings just in case I had to punch someone in the face. for show.

At then end of class I returned to pick up MJ and she was not happy and immediately declared she was ready to go home. At that point the dance teacher came over and asked me if MJ was feeling okay. She said that she had noticed she just wasn't feeling this Friday class. Hell, neither am I, I thought. The teacher then told me that on Tuesdays MJ was "the one to watch and showed real dance talent and love for the dance." But since switching she seems completely uninterested. She suggested we try a more advanced class next Friday. A class for 4 year olds. She seems to think that MJ could handle it.

Great. Right? Well I'm not so sure. Remember the discussion that took place in this post where the AM stated that she would secure all her groups spots for the next class? And also remember my feeling that regular moms were being pushed out? Well now I'm not sure if the teacher is truly amazed at MJs dance ability and wants to advance her or if she has been pressured to push us out of the class by the Meanie Moms? I have my suspicions. This 10:15 class is most inconvenient for me as it is a ballet/tap combo and requires a hefty investment in dance gear and  requires me to take a half day off work instead of coming in 2 hours late. But I plan on giving the teacher the benefit of the doubt and giving it a try, in the hopes that she as the teacher knows whats best.

Since you all have an outside view, tell me is this a tactic to push us out of this class or does the teacher see real ability in MJ? Am I seeing way too  much into this? I do have that ability. I tend to get very defensive when it comes to my kids. I just think it's odd that now that she's not doing well she wants to advance her. I asked her about this and she said she wanted to see the old MJ back and thought maybe a more challenging class would do it. She also said that if she did not like the advanced class that maybe "it just wasn't her time yet?" Seriously. I could not tell if she was sincerely complimenting MJ or pushing her out.  Another  possibility that is unlikely is that the teacher has read my facebook page where I posted about this Meanie Moms and is trying to be helpful. The teacher is always very nice to MJ and seems to like her but I just don't know. What do you think?

Friday, November 12, 2010

Concerns About The 2010 Flu Shot

It's almost Flu season and I have some new concerns.

"The H1N1 virus recommended for inclusion in the 2010-2011 seasonal influenza vaccine is a pandemic 2009 H1N1 virus and is the same vaccine virus as was used in the 2009 H1N1 monovalent vaccine." (Text taken from the CDC website)

Last year we had our "Swine Flu Pandemic". People, myself included were all freaked out thinking this could be the next big plague that kills us all. I watched show after show on the past pandemics and the predictions for this one. The future looked bleak. People were lined up for hours to get a swine flu vaccine. I usually get a flu shot and get all my kids one as well each year, but last year I decided hell no. I'm not a big fan of shit that just got released to the public and since the swine flu shot had only been out a minute or so I opted not to get it and not get it for my kids, especially after this. You really need to check the video out if you have never seen it but I suspect that most of you have.

It has just always been my policy to not use a new medical breakthrough until its been out for a few years. That way I can see how many people die from it or end up all fucked up like the cheerleader in the video. Then I can knowingly weigh out the risks and make an educated choice.

I mean, is it just me or does it seem like every time you go to the doctors a new vaccine has been added to the roster? I often decline the newer ones and put them off for a few years. Again to gauge the risks factor. It just always seems that a new breakthrough medicine comes out and its all the rave and a year later there are commercials telling you" if you died, or got fucked up using so and so please call attorney so and so."

So back to the point..We skipped our flu vaccine last year for the first time I think ever. Now this year they are saying that the Swine Flu vaccine has been added to this years flu shot. Hmmm looks like we're gonna have to pass. Again, I need at least an entire year of evidence before I sign up for some new shit but I dunno I may be leaving my kids uncovered?? Decisions, decisions, am I the only one freaked out at this point about the swine flu vaccine?

Do you plan on getting one? Giving your kids one?