Tuesday, November 2, 2010

A Time For Gathering?

Sunday I was in the back of the house folding laundry in my room. The kids were outside playing football. Michael came in my room and said "Mom, the neighbor is in the kitchen!" I said "WTF is she doing in the kitchen?!" He said "I saw her coming over and kept my eye on her, she came onto the gazebo and opened the screen door, hollered "hello" and then shut the door to wait. I came up and told her I would get you". Panic ensued. Time to face the music, rather the violins. As I stepped out onto my porch I said "hello". She said "whatcha doing?" I replied "busy as always" She said "well I had to stop by and tell you something".
And the conversation went as follows


"Well, I had noticed you have some lovely pecan trees on your property. It was my idea to gather them for you in the hopes that you would be so gracious and allow me to keep a few. I was planning on heading out to gather the nuts by the weeks end but then I observed the most unreasonable thing. Those Mexican kids were all out there. Nine of them with 5 gallon buckets stealing your nuts! I was outraged! So I did what any good neighbor would do and called the property owner and asked him whose nuts they were. He said his, because this is his property. So I began to tell him that I had intended on gathering the nuts for you and myself and he said that would be fine. So I then told him of the looting that was taking place right before my eyes. He said I could ask the children to not pick the nuts. So I did just that! The one little boy was very rude to me and told me his momma said he could."
"Which one?"
She pointed him out.
"Wow he was rude? He is always very polite to me."
"Nope not to me. Well he went home and told his parents and their Mexican momma came outside and cursed me in Spanish like I was Satan himself."
"She came to your house and cursed you?"
"No she was in the yard on the phone."
"Oh I did not realize you can speak Spanish."
"I cannot"
"Well how do you know that she was cursing you out?"
"Oh I just know she was a'pointing at me and shouting. And quite frankly I feel threatened. I do not feel safe in my own neighborhood."
"Anyways, I let them know that you wanted your pecans and would not appreciate someone stealing off your property"
"Lucy, I hardly think gathering falling nuts is stealing. Truth be told I have lived here almost ten years and have never gathered the nuts. If I want pecans I just get them at the market. So honestly if they had taken the nuts it was cleaning my yard. It really doesn't bother me. I'd rather share the nuts and have peace."
"Well honey that mammacita over there so is fired up at us"
"Yes us. Because we were defending our property and  I let her know real quick that just because you work doesn't mean they can have free reign on your property!"
"While I appreciate your diligence in guarding my property I really do not need that kind of support. You  see I am very good at defending myself or any cause that I feel is worthy. This truthfully does not seem worth the drama."
"Oh My look what I've done. I've gone and caused "drama". I never meant to do that. I honestly thought I was helping you. I didn't mean to start any trouble. I just think that what they are up to is scandalous."
"Well I don't and I have always gotten along with that family. I mean we are not friends per se but our kids have had sleep overs together and they often play together and she is always sending over authentic Mexican food for my family which I truly enjoy."
"Oh My It would be horrible if I've ruined your free Mexican meal. I just feel terrible."
At this point her eyes teared up and her voice began to crack.
I told her "No I m  sure all is well just please, I 'd really like to keep the peace around here"
This set off a 30 minute pity part about how bad she felt, she was only tryna help, now she must be the hated old busy body at the end of the street. All she wanted to do was help.whine whine, pout, pout
At that point my son had walked up with a bruised and red neck. Thankfully he had been clotheslined while playing football. It was the perfect excuse for me to get going .


  1. Why did she always have to say "mexican" kids? or mexican neighbors? why weren't they just the kids next door or the neighbors?
    You were much nicer to her than I would have been. Good for you Raquel.

  2. You have the neighbor from HELL! Worse is that she's old and you can't yell profane things at her in worries that she might keel over of a heart attack!

  3. Funny. Whew, my kids hurt, gotta' go.

  4. I am telling you she is a trouble-maker, your neighbor.

  5. Everyone has to have at least one crazy neighbor!