Monday, December 20, 2010

Christmas Pee And The Bitch

The people I encounter on a daily basis are so rude and ridiculous. I sometimes think you guys must be thinking "oh she is making this up" but I swear to you these people really do exist and I must be magnet for a-holes and psychos. So here's yet another. Enjoy!

I, like many have no insurance. My employer doesn't offer it and my kids are covered through their dads great plan but me, I got nothing. Often when I have an ailment I resort to home remedies, prayer, denial, begging my insured friends for the last 3 amoxicillians that they never took, and if all else fails a witch doctor. So as of late I have found myself with a lovely little UTI (urinary tract infection). Mostly women get these and I know some/most of you have had it before. Just for the guys I'll explain what this is all about. Basically you piss every 6 minutes or so regardless of your fluid intake. When you pee you receive about 2 minutes of relief then the overwhelming urge to pee returns. You always feel like you have to pee. The urge never goes away. Guys, imagine drinking 5 cases of beer and then driving in car down a bumpy road and having to hold your piss. That's pretty much what it feels like. Some people have burning and pain, thankfully I never do I just have to PEEEEEEEEE! Okay now that I have educated those that were in the dark on this I'll get on with it.
 So, they sell an over the counter pill that basically helps with the urges and discomfort but doesn't cure it. You need antibiotics for that.  One little side effect of this pill it stains your urine red or orange. Oh yes boys, my pee is Christmas red. I copped a few amoxicillians from a friend and it bought me some time. But then that bad boy came back with a vengeance. Having no insurance I have no doctor so I get my health care at the lovely health department where I am charged based on my income. In desperation I made an appointment yesterday, I told the lady on the phone that I was already taking the OTC stuff.
I arrived at the upper class (sarcasm) facility and waited for my turn. When the nurse took me back I informed her too that I was on the OTC stuff and she said "oh we are all ladies here we understand you have to alleviate the discomfort". Cool. I Peed in the cup and returned my Christmas pee to the nurse who took it without question. Then I awaited the doc's arrival.
The doc shows up pregnant and sick. Sneezing, coughing, etc. Great. I thought I came with a UTI and will probably leave with the flu. She sits down asks me how do I know I have a UTI. I tell her well only because its my 900th one in my life and I have to pee every 5-6 minutes. She says "well first off you should not have taken the OTC stuff before coming here." "Sorry, I was miserable." I tell her. "Well if it stains your urine what did you think it would do to the test strip?" I stare at her stupidly. She was actually waiting for a response. "Well it stains the test strip therefore we cannot get a clear reading which means we have to send your urine out to a lab and it could be 48 hours before we get the results in." She says clearly annoyed with me. "Will that lab bill me also?" I ask. "I do not know. I do not work there." she rudely says. "Well you work with them don't you?" I ask, now quite annoyed myself. "I am unaware of their billing and financial policies I suggest you contact them" she says.
"So in the meantime what do I do?" I ask her. "Do what you been doing" she says. Bitch.
"Well I'm quite miserable" I say. "Yup, these things are not fun. she says almost smiling. BITCH.
I then tell her that I think I have a sinus infection. I explain the pain that has been pounding in my head for 5 days with no relief from Tylenol, I tell her that I am a one Tylenol person and have been taking up to 5 at a time just to be able to function but that the pain doesn't go away. I had also had a dizzy spell and blurred vision the day before that was quite scary. I tell her I have tried sinus meds and rattle off a few, even prescription strength Ibuprofen but nothing works. She seems uninterested. She checks my eyes, ears, heartbeat, etc then says "okay well that is it."
"Um,, hello can I get some meds?" I ask "No you do not have a sinus infection" she again, looks at me like I'm an idiot. Well what do I have?" I ask. "Tension" she says. Well I'm sure this attitude you got isn't helping. Okay I'll buy that. "Are you gonna give me something to help?" I ask hopeful. "Take Tylenol." she says. "I did 5 at a time remember?" I say irritated. "Well then try Excedrin." She says closing my file, signaling that she is done with me.BITCH. 
As I sit there in shock dodging her coughs and sneezes I am so annoyed that I just paid $70 for absolutely nothing. Correction. For Tylenol. Ugggh. I ask her "when my UTI comes back positive will you just call in something for me?" "That's usually how it goes" she replies.  Bitch!
"Okay well I have no insurance" I say "and am very low on funds so could you keep that in mind when you prescribe my antibiotics? I would prefer a generic yet effective low cost one." "You can afford $4 can't you? you broke bitch she asks. BITCH!
So I left with no answers, no meds, still in pain, and still peeing constantly I even peed on my way out Twice. Oh and $70 more broke. BBBIIIITTTCCHHH.


  1. You should have punched in the stomach. Good Luck Roc. Cheers!!

  2. Oh Raquel. What a shit head that so called "doctor" was.

    You said she checked your eyes and ears = no nose? Hello - sinus infection not in eyes or ears normallly until very bad. But it spreads to a lot of area's if not taken care of quickly.

    That $70 would have paid for an urgent care facility. I too don't have insurance anymore so I know. At least there you get a better level of attention and care. At least that is the case here.

    I wish I had some extra amoxicillians I would send it your way. After I win the huge lottery tomorrow I'll send you the money to go to a real doctor.

  3. Matt- Funny I generally am very sympathetic to pregnant women but I did several times envision kicking her in the stomach and watching the baby come out of her mouth.

    Peg- aww thanks Peg.


    merry christmas, babe

  5. You should complain about her. That's a horrible way to be treated. Ridiculous.

  6. You're going to have to start videoing your adventures. You could make big bucks.

  7. OMG! that's the worst bedside manner I've ever heard of, and I've heard of some pretty bad shit! Good luck, and maybe go see someone else?

  8. Raquel -
    This is terrible! I hate doctors like that.
    Email me right away at I was without insurance for about a year so I stash meds. I can overnight you some augmentin (my aunt lives in italy and I have her bring me stuff when she comes to visit) - everything is over the counter there.

    My Wonderfully Dysfunctional Blog

  9. That is a bad doc. Do you have a CVS around, they have minute clinics that are pretty cheap.

  10. This probably won't work this time, but next time you get a UTI, yer gonna love me. Alka Seltzer. I kid you not. When you feel the symptoms coming on, dissolve two tablets in water and drink. If the symptoms don't leave within an hour, drink another one. It works so well for me, I've never had to dose twice.