Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Torn....Part 3

This is the third post about my relationship. It's complicated. If you care to you can read post 1by clicking here and post 2 here. 
If not then you can pick up the story here..

For the first few months of cohabiting it was magical. The passion was amazing and we blended well together as a family. My kids seemed to really like him and he seemed to genuinely care for my kids. His kids would come for weekends and having 4 kids under 3 was so fun. Our kids got along wonderfully and we were living the dream. Suzy was now attached to yet another guy but this one seemed a bit more serious. Life was grand!

Then the problems began...When the kids would visit it was obvious they were not being properly cared for. Their shoes were too small, their clothes were dirty etc. His daughter had severe asthma that required breathing treatments yet her mother sporadically sent the treatments with her. There were many different things. This started to really weigh on David's mind. He felt really guilty for living with us when his own children needed him so badly. We would come to pick the kids up and they would have an 11 year old overnight babysitter, the house was dirty, etc. when we would return with them Suzy wouldn't be home, wouldn't answer her phone and wasn't anywhere to be found. This happened almost every time, no matter what prior arrangements we had made with her.  We would often have to leave the kids with his relatives because we had to get back home before my kids were due back from their dads and the drive was two hours, one way.

We offered to take the kids, Suzy refused. So this went on for months and months. Then came the late night calls. Suzy would call David late at night about her "concerns" for the kids. He would sit there and she would cry on the phone about how hard it was dealing with the kids etc. etc. Again we offered to take them. Again she declined. The problems got worse and worse and David became withdrawn from  my kids and me. Anytime we would do anything as a family he would spend the whole time saying how he wished his kids were there. I got that, but couldn't help but wonder what about the kids that were there...mine? How was all this making them feel? It got to the point that he would lay around depressed a lot and then when his kids came to visit he was super happy daddy. I noticed immediately and was very annoyed by this. When my child said to me one day "Mommy, how come Davids only happy when his kids are here?" I knew it was time to go our separate ways.

We talked about it and he admitted to feeling guilty about being here with me while his kids were going through so much. So mutually we decided he would move back to his hometown and get his kids. You see Suzy would let him have them there but not here. Understandable I guess but hard to swallow. So we said our goodbyes and off he went. We talked here and there but not too much, it was too painful. Then one day about a month after he'd left he called to say that he could not be without me. He missed me and my kids and he thought  being there with his kids would help but now he just missed us so he still was not happy. He wanted to come back.

Part 4 coming soon....


  1. Wow..what a story. Waiting...for part 4 :)

  2. Yep, still feel like a therapist, can't wait to for our next session!

  3. This is a great story. I am hanging on here breathlessly waiting for the next installment.

  4. That's tough. I can see why he would've been so torn about his own children, given the circumstances they were in though.

    Eagerly awaiting the next part.

  5. AWWWW! Well of course he wanted to come back!
    But he must have had such an emotional struggle going on. I feel for both of you.

  6. thats some story.. and a sad one.

    i had a similar story with and old fiance, but in our case, it was her mom that was the problem, and not kids.

  7. I'm think'n he's an easily controlled pussy myself.
    Where was his lawyer when he was granted his divorce? This stuff should be on paper so there's no animosity. Only a limp minded man would be controlled by an ex spouse.
    Good to see his rear. Let'em go.

    Any "Man" that is manipulated by a Mother, ex wife, new girlfriend... Aren't worth da trouble.