Help! Help! My Light Is Out.

So now that we got that outta the way. I will resume bitching. The topic today is a reliable one.....The Neighbor.

Since she watches my home 24/7, she knows all my business so she knew about the RA...and in good faith lets just go back to calling him David. She was one of the people who had the strongest opinions on us splitting up. She would say things like "don't take him back", "you deserve better" etc. When I told her he was coming back she seemed uninterested until she saw him. He pulled up and she came running out and rushed over to tell him how 
glad she was that he was back........
and how much he was missed.......
and how we needed a man down there with us to keep us safe......
and fix things.........
and she was so excited that he was back she was gonna make a list of all the things that she needed fixed in her house...
sound of record scratching. 
Say what? Did she just say she would make a list of all the things she needed him to do at her house?  WTH? Excuse me neighbor but the works been piling up over here as well, not to mention he and I may want to spend some time working on our relationship, oh and then there are those thing we call kids running around there that may need a lil time and attention. And by the way he works 6 often 7 days a week sun up to sun down. Just when the hell did she think he was gonna have time to be her handyman?
Fast forward two days later she calls me and says "is David around?" I know she knows he wasn't bc she conducts 24/7 surveillance on my home. I tell her he is at work. "Oh my, I have an urgent situation and need his help." By the way she rents so the land man can fix her stuff and we also have a handyman around there for repairs and yard work. She just doesn't like him bc he is Mexican. 
"What's wrong?" I ask
"Oh my, it's serious" she says
"I'm sure" I say rolling my eyes "what's the problem?"
"My light in my bathroom has blown out and I cannot climb a ladder, I may fall. Could David come over and change the bulbs for me?"
"Sure I say "he is very busy right now (see list above) but he'll get to it within the week."
"Okay, well its really urgent, I cannot bathe, and when I get in and out of the shower I am enveloped in such darkness. I may fall, or anything. It is really scary to shower in the dark and taking a bath well that is just impossible with the lack of lighting." she explains
"Okay, he'll get to it soon" I hang up.
The next night at 8pm, he was just pulling up from work, she began to ring my phone repeatedly. I was busy but when I saw 4 missed calls I thought I better make sure she is okay. I called her and said  "hi are you okay?"
"Well no I need my light fixed." 
I'm pretty sure I said within the week I'm thinking now aggravated.
"Well I have a kidney problem and need to soak my back. I need to sit in the tub but simply cannot without proper lighting. It's just not safe"
Silence on my end,,,(I'm biting my tongue)
"Well I guess I could just shower tonight, I have some pain meds I can just take them until I am able to soak" she says.
Silence again from me
"Do you think he'll get over here soon?" she asks
"Within the week" I simply said
"Okay sorry to bother you" she says and hangs up.
The next day I pull up and she was all hunched over depressed and pitiful in the front yard.I said Hi to her and she carried on with her pitiful display. It annoyed me so I had to say something. I said "seriously are you acting this way over a light bulb?"
"No I'm sick, in pain" she says. Probably because we did not get her light fixed.
When I cooked dinner that night I brought her a plate, (as I do several times a week)
When I brought the dinner over she wanted to show me her newly decorated bedroom so I came in and checked it out. I noticed when we passed the bathroom the lighting seemed fine.
So I said "oh you got your light fixed?"
"Oh no, I did not. Come see" She leads me into the bathroom.
We enter the bathroom and she shows me that one of the 7 lights in that room is out. See she has makeup lighting around the mirror, two fixtures that have 3 bulbs each in them over the double sinks. Then two feet away there is another fixture over the toilet. That one is out but the 1000watts glaring from the 6 sink lights shined right at the toilet the bathroom was not dark at all! It was very well lit and had more lighting than mine. I just gave her a look. She explains that at night (which it was) it gets really dark in here and she can barely see the toilet or the tub.
What the fuck do you want in here a spotlight?  ?#%$!#!#   Anyhow in light of the discovery I decided David would truly get to it when he got to it. I have larger impending issues in my home such as a window that doesn't seal properly, a piece of trim board that needs replacing before my floor comes up etc.
The next day I got two messages from her. "Hi Roc its ____________, I am really in pain due to not being able to take a bath. I really need to get in the tub and soak my kidneys and I was wondering when I would be able to do that. David has not fixed my light yet and I am in desperate need of his help. It went on and on about how scary the bathroom was and unsafe. I did not reply. On my way to work this morning I set a lamp on her porch. Maybe she can plug that in somewhere in there if she feels unsafe. Uggghh! Seriously lady?

Triple D's, He/She's, And Stilettos

I have been a slack blogger, but boy did I bring back gifts for you all! Summer in my home is a time to turn in early, relax, not worry about school-related ish and just take things easy. But this summer I realized I may have to switch it up a bit. Having two teens home all day I needed to fill their days with some sort of structure. So we have been road running like mad most nights and weekends just to keep everyone awake, alert, alive. If we are not at the gym we are swimming or hanging with friends, or having picnics, or going to the water park or Kings Dominion. All great but, good lord I am TIRED. In the midst of all this I am tryna work full time, run a house, deal with relationship issues, etc. Then you throw in the good stuff like this lil episode of poison Ivy that my son gets EVERY damn summer.

He usually has a cute lil skinny face.

Funny thing.... and DO NOT TELL HIM I TOLD YOU.....being the red-blooded teenage boy that he is... he has poison ivy all around his private parts. Now to this I laughed and laughed. Sometimes being a mom is so much fun!

A lil more time at the pool and now Mason has swimmers ear. Oh good times. Fun does have its price. And by the way we have never eaten so much deli meat as we are so busy ripping and running there is no time for silly things like umm cooking a meal. And the housework,,,,good lord. If social services decides to drop by I am screwed. My boys "clean" up each day while I am working but things like laundry, toilets, sink scrubbing, floor waxing etc....well lets just say they could use a lil work. Most importantly let me share some views from the pool and get your thoughts. Ummkay? 

View #1

Notice Anything?? Anything at all?

 How about them triple D's? Woah! This picture does no justice for the real show. Seriously I saw her aureoles! (in case the spelling is not right I am referring to the brown area in which the nipple sits) You can't tell but she has on the skimpiest bathing suit. It basically has a string down the sides attaching the top to the bottoms and you can only imagine the stuff hanging onto or rather wrapping around that string. Yuck! It was just so inappropriate at a kiddie pool. Not to mention that tattoo on her titty says "Queen" I think she forgot to add the word "sized". Get it? Queen sized? Now I am no small chic but come on! She asked for this by showing up half naked to the kiddie pool. Time and place people. Time and place.

Now on to my next shot

This lil hottie was strutting around the pool side with her/his breast and ass poked so far out it was extremely sexual and unnatural. The poolside strut is what caught my attention. But then my friends pointed out that this was no woman yet, rather a man?? I did not get that at first until my friend pointed out the strong back, strong facial features and hands. What??? I still did not believe until she/he talked. The deep man voice that came from this lil hottie was a head turner! And the adams apple kinda gave it away as well. Again. Nothing against gays, transgenders, whatever. Its all good. I would not have even noticed but for the serious poolside strut. This individual used the ladies locker rooms. My friend thought that was uncomfortable. Me I did not care. Obviously if she/he is a man she is not into women so all's good in the locker room. 

Lastly I have no pic for this but had to mention that stilettos are not the perfect accessory for the pool. There was a 60ish year old woman strutting her stuff all around the pool as well with a swimsuit and 3 inch stilettos. As she wobbled around the pool I kept waiting for her to lose balance and fall in but she made it safely to the exit. But seriously what is the point??

All these distractions made it hard for me to supervise my kids. So come on people cut it out!

So help me out will ya?

What do you think about triple D and he/she??? 

Women or Mens locker room?

Appropriate?

Is that a man? 

Stilettos at the pool?