One Friend Down

So back to my "friends". If you recall I was getting overwhelmed with my new found friends and was trying desperately to maintain the balance of what I needed to do as a mom and a woman yet keep my friendships. After turning down many offers to hang out, an opportunity came where three of my neglected friends were all meeting up at the pool for dinner and swimming. I really did not feel up to it but then decided this would be a great way to get time in with all of them at once. Hey I could even invite my friend that just moved back to NC. She is living close to the the pool we all go to and I could use my guest pass.
I contacted my friends at the pool to let them know I would be bringing Lisa and her son and was excited for them to meet her as well. I then called Lisa and invited her and Daniel along. She said they would be there. Then I loaded up my family and headed for the pool.
When I arrived at the pool it was a lil awkward. See my friends all try to get along for my sake but they secretly don't like each other much. I was hoping that with time they would grow on each other. I was there maybe 10 minutes when in walked Daniel. "Hi Daniel!" I said. I noticed no mom was with him. "Daniel is your mom parking the car?" I ask. "I don't know" he replies. Five minutes later, no Lisa, so I say to Daniel again "where is your mom?" "oh she left" he says. "What do you mean she left?"  I ask. "She had some stuff to do." he says simply. "Is she coming back" I asked. "I think so" he says. "Well what did she say? Where did she go?" I hit him with a barrage of questions. I just cannot believe again that Lisa dropped her kid off and did not tell me anything. This behavior is so unlike the Lisa I knew before. She would never even let the boy out of her sight.
My friends pick up on the situation and have lots to say. 
"Where is your friend?" they ask sarcastically. 
"Is she coming?"
"Did she just drop him off?" 
"Did she ask you to watch him?" 
All reasonable questions that I did not have the answers to. I'm thinking maybe she forgot something at home or went to get food. Surely, Lisa will be here any minute, I assure them. An hour passes no Lisa. I'm getting annoyed at this. An hour later the pool is closing in 45 minutes so I call Lisa.
She answers and I say "hey where are you?" "At home resting" she says. "Oh I thought you were coming to the pool" "Naw" she says. "Oh... well.... okay... it would have been nice if you'd told me I'd have to watch Daniel" I say to her. "You don't. They have lifeguards there." she informs me. "Hmmm, alright" I say. Then there is a silence. She says "why is he a problem?" Clearly not getting the point. "No not at all" I say "but I thought you were coming too." "No, hadn't planned on it"  she says. "Well you are coming to pick him up right?" I ask "Oh I thought I'd get him from your house later, that way we can hang out a bit" she informs me. "I really had not planned on having company and I came out to spend time with you but you left"  I say. There is another loooong silence. "Well I'll just come over and get him now" she says clearly upset. "No he's fine, hell the pool closes in 45 minutes anyways and I am leaving when they close just make sure you are here by then" I am ready to hang up because this is not going well. "Nope I'll just come now" she insists.  We hang up. My other friend who overhears this convo, let's call her Mary, says "that's messed up she just dumped her kid off and did not tell you anything?" I just sit there not knowing what to say. "Are you mad?" Mary asks me. "I'm not mad, just irritated" I say thinking this is why I don't do the "socializing thing"
15 minutes later Lisa shows up. The reception from my friends is less than friendly. They have decided they do not like Lisa already. I can't blame them, that was not a good first impression. I try to small talk with Lisa because the tension is so obvious. Eventually the pool closes and we are headed out to our cars. Lisa asks if my son can go home with her and Danial for a sleepover. I say that would be fine but he has no clothes. "Oh that's okay, I'll follow you home and you can get him some" Lisa offers. Mary overhears this exchange and in her attempt  to save me from unwanted company she interjects "You are not going home Roc are you?" Lisa gives her a look.  I had already told Lisa I was going home, but of course Mary did not know that. It is now obvious to everyone what is going on. Lisa is well aware that I am trying to avoid having her come over. AKWARD. Again it had nothing at all to do with Lisa I was just done for the day. We had been at the pool for hours it was 8 o'clock, I had kids to settle and I was tired too. I stammer to recover form Mary's lie that was picked up on by Lisa and I say "Oh Mary I changed plans, I am going home, Lisa just follow me home and well get his clothes" I say and off we go.
When I pull up to my home Lisa is there waiting in her truck. I had stopped by Mcd's to get the kids some ice cream. I pull up and tell Marlon to quickly pack as to not keep Lisa waiting much more. I hop out of my van and tell Lisa come on in, "No she says, I will wait out here" she says. "No come on in" I insist. "No you made it clear you do not want company and I will respect that and wait nicely out here". Sound of crickets chirping as I do not know what to say to that. I try again to convince her to come in I feel compelled to explain, "its not that you cannot come in, I just am not up for company." I try to explain. "I understand. I will wait out here." She says.Which she did. And with the exception of her dropping off my son the next day I have not heard from her in a couple weeks.  And I have upset yet another friend. But don't worry in the next couple weeks I manage to upset pretty much all of them one by one. Hence why I prefer to have very few friends.
Here is what my future will soon be like.

Who Does That?

Saturday night I get a facebook message, my friend from years ago that had moved is back; just got in last night and wants to come by the next day. I am excited that she is back however I had plans already for the next day. So she asks if she can come pick up one of my sons to spend the day with her and her son tomorrow. I say sure. Plans are made. 
The next day there is a knock on the door. Her son (13 years old now) enters. Mind you, I have not seen this family since he was 8? I say hi and get the greetings out of the way. It is just him so I am assuming his mom is parking. After 5 minutes no mom enters so I ask him "Daniel, where is your mom?" "Oh she went to pick up a friend" he says. I'm thinking he's joking so I get up and look out the window, no mom. I am shocked that she did not come in or tell me she would be dropping Daniel off. I am shocked and a little irritated. 
15 minutes later my friend arrives and in tow is a guy that many years ago she hung out with. A guy she knows that I dislike very much. She informs me that he will be joining them on their outing. I share my concerns with her about the dude and she tells me that he has changed so much and really gotten his life together. Apparently he had been a good friend to her over the years. Although I still don't like him, I relent.
So off they go. A couple hours later I am knee deep in laundry, I have 4 different pots going on the stove, a toddler  in the tub, and mop water ready to go. I had been cleaning all day and cooking a big meal. It is Sunday and all my kids are home and I wanted to have a big Sunday family dinner. They return and I spend 15 minutes being social and then explain that I have lots of housework to do so I must excuse myself to get busy. hint hint Oh okay she says and continues chatting with her friend ( the one I do not like) meanwhile I am folding laundry and cooking. I need to get the floors mopped prior to dinner and I need to get the linens changed in the back of the house but of course I cannot just leave people sitting in my living room. So I hint a bit more to no avail.
After a while she asks if I want to go walking. "Umm, no I am getting ready to have dinner with my family" I say. Hint Hint "Oh how nice" she says. She proceeds to tell me she has temporarily moved back to her parents and just can't stand being there so she has to have a "go-to place" to regain her sanity. Apparently I am the planned "go-to place." While I sympathize with that. I so am not the place. I work full time, four kids...................why do I feel like I say that in every post? Like that is my name, Hi, I am Raquel-Work-Full-Time-Have-Four-Kids. 
Another 45 minutes passes my dinner has been done and is sitting on the stove. The freshness draining away each moment. I do not want to eat in front of them. I  do not have enough to invite them to stay and I am hungry, my kids are hungry but my company is just not getting the hint.


They continue to hang out socializing. I am becoming more annoyed by the second. I worked hard on that dinner and it is drying out on the stove while I await every ones exit. Finally I try a more direct approach and list off all the stuff I have to do including feeding my kids. She still seemed oblivious. Her friend then says he needs to get going. Thank God I think. But then she says to my horror. "I'm gonna run him home and I'll be back to hang out". "No!" I almost yell. "No hanging out tonight for me." I stammer as she looks at me horridly. A light pops on and she says "oh we are intruding huh?" "Yes" I say honestly.  As soon as I do I see the hurt in her face and I feel very rude after all she just got in from another state last night. I have not seen her in years but come on! She then asks if her son can stay over. I truly am not in the mood for more kids but I figure she did take my kids skating so... I say sure and the plans are set for her to return in the morning to pick up Daniel while I am at work.
The next day I return form work and enter my home to a stank ass smell. "What is that?" I immediately ask my boys. I continue sniffing around "it smells like a wet nasty dog in here" I say disgusted at the scent. My son then tells me "Oh Lisa brought her dog in when she came to pick up Daniel." What the hell? Who does that? I have no pets and care to have no animals running around inside my house. I did not know if the dog has fleas, shots whatever! And either way I do not want animals in my house. I am furious. I yell at my boys for letting her bring the dog in and that's when my oldest says "well you can take that up with Lisa she says they will be back around 6."

The next day I did not hear from Lisa. It was my intent when I spoke with her to make a planned time to get together. I am totally not trying to dis my friend but she is a carefree unscheduled spirit. I am not. I decide I am too exhausted to try to do anything more than what must be done around the house. The boys go for a sleepover and I am looking forward to a quiet relaxing night with David. We put the little ones to bed and make plans for romance. I run a much needed bubble bath. I am so looking forward to a nice evening.
It is 845p. I lower myself into the relaxing bubbles, put my feet up and reach for my wine glass ready to unwind. Just as I exhale I realize that I forgot to get my scrubby. So I holler for David. 
Mason comes instead and says "dads outside". I ask "outside for what?" "Oh Lisa's here" he says "WTH! Lisa's here now?" I ask. "Yup" he says "her and Daniel". I check the clock its almost 9pm WTF? I get up at 5a to go to work. I have kids in school that go to bed at 8. Who does that? I am fuming and panicked thinking I am gonna have to ditch my bath and deal with this and I am so not in the mood. As I sit there frantically trying to figure out a nice way to disappoint her yet again David enters. I brace myself for him to say Lisa's in the living room. But he tells me he told her I was in the tub and she left. He says she looked disappointed. I feel bad but seriously I am too busy for this ish. 
Dodged the bullet that night but I will have to face this sooner or later. Just glad its not tonight. 

Friends Don't Let Friends Poop In the Woods

A couple months ago I allowed my boys to spend the night with these two boys and they came back with horror stories of how the two boys got into  fights and broke things in their house and basically just went psycho. Now these boys come over all the time and I find them quite endearing. They are respectful and kind. So when I heard of the shenanigans that went down when my kids stayed over at their house I was quite perplexed. I thought maybe they go crazy at night or maybe the are on meds and didn't  take their nighttime dosage?? So when my kids asked if these same boys could stay over I was quite reluctant.
I had a lil chit chat with the lads and told them they were welcome to stay but should they go crazy at any point I will drop their asses off at their home irregardless of the time.

We ran out for pizza and loaded up on video games and everyone settled in for the evening. The night went well. There was no fighting, arguing, or psychocotic episodes. The next morning however was a different story. The first issue was when my son told me that my other son wasn't sharing the game. We have 3 games systems but two have been taken away due to poor grades. I handled that and went on about my housework. Ten seconds later my boys were arguing over which game to play. I handled that and warned that if this continued our friends would have to leave. I began breakfast, well compiling a list of biscuits that everyone wanted from Bojangle,s and during that 6 minutes another 2 arguments ensued between my boys. Let me say that the visitors were great but the home team was sucking. "Last warning!" I said to my boys "One more fight and your company will leave." Ten minutes later I am sad to say that company had to leave.

 I spoke with my kids about being a good host and certainly not fighting in front of company at the least. Even after the friends left my two continued at each other the remainder of the morning.

Around 12p I decided to watch a Aladdin in my room with princess and dozed off. I awoke around 2pm and noticed the house very quite. I got up to see what was up with all this quiet and noticed my front door ajar. Interesting since my children know better than to go outdoors without telling me and are definitely not allowed out if I'm napping. I saw my boys come from behind the house with a roll of toilet paper.

Me= Red
Marlon=Blue
Friend= Green

 I asked "Why the hell are you outside?" "And why the hell do you have toilet paper?" Michael immediately began to tell a lie when Marlon, who can always be counted on to tell the truth piped up and said. "We were giving it to our friend' he has to poop."
 "What?!"
"Yeah our friend, he's in the woods, He has to poop." Marlon explained as if this were an everyday occurence.
"And how would you know that if you were inside like you should've been?"
 "Well, because he knocked on the door and asked do use our bathroom and we told him he couldn't come in because you were taking a nap" "See how well we listened?"

Another rule I have- No company when mom is not on sight supervising


"So why didn't he go home and go poop?" I asked
"Because he lives too far to walk"
"How he get here then?"
 "His mom dropped him off"
 I asked "When?"
"9am"
"He knocked on the door this morning and you were already mad so we told him he could not come in so he has been outside the entire time"
"Where?" I asked
"We told him to hide in the woods"
"So some kid has been stashed in the woods in 100 degree weather for 5 1/2 hours!"

As I stood there in shock trying to absorb all this there was a knock at the door.

I opened the door and saw the cutest nerdy looking kid. The poor boy looked dehydrated and miserable. I immediately poured him a glass of juice and offerd him to use the bathroom or have a snack. He declined both.
I said to him "Why did you stay out in those woods all day like that?"
"Well ma'am, my name is Billy. What had happened was, early this morning I asked  Michael if I could come over and hang out, He said yes. So when I called to let them know I was on my way they told me they couldn't have company because they had gotten into trouble but it was too late I was already pulling up."
"Where is your mom?" I asked
"Well she went out of town, to Cary"
"When will she be back?"
"5pm"
 (it was now 230p)
"Does your mom usually drop you off at random houses without speaking with the adults?"
"Sometimes"
"Did you call her and tell her what was going on"
"Yes maam but she said that she would be here at 5p"

At that point I was furious, at my kids for hiding some kid in the woods in this horrible heat, and at this mom for just dropping off her kid at some strangers house without even speaking to me. Who the hell does that?
I was even a little upset with the kid for sitting out there in the woods hiding all day! Come on people.But  I was really mad at my kids. Who invites someone over and hides them in the woods? See my kids were screwed because they are only allowed to have company with my permission and at least a one day notice. Which they had neither. I think their  plan was to spring it on me last minute but then things went so bad with their first group of friends they knew better.

Anyway turns out the little guy's dad was home so I drove him home. And immediately after drove my kids over to their dads an hour away. I needed some peace.

You never know where you'll meet your next best friend

So yesterday I had to have a pelvic ultrasound. I didn't drink enough apparently so the traditional one would not work. We had to go with a different method....ok guys close your ears....the insertion method.(I am sure this is not the technical name) For all those who do not what I mean it is basically when a penis shaped apparatus is inserted with a camera. Yeah fun right?

So anywho it's always a little awkward when someone you met 5 seconds ago is going there. However I had the best lady. I had my ex-fiance to go with me and once we entered the room the first thing she said is "well, whatever is wrong with you , I am sure it is his fault" I knew then we would be best friends for life. As she went about her work of scanning my inner parts we made small talk. Somehow we managed to share our life stories and current situations during this process. Her conversation was so pleasant I totally forgot what was going on under the sheet. For the 30 minutes or so it took to do the scan we really got to know one another. So much so that we were sharing pics of our kids via blackberries during the process. It was more like lunch with no food than a doctors visit. While the ex was sitting in the chair wishing he hadn't come I got all my gripes about him out. It was like therapy, I felt so much better after.

At the end of the visit we switched numbers and emails and I will be attending a party at her house next weekend. You never know where you will meet your next best friend.