One Friend Down

So back to my "friends". If you recall I was getting overwhelmed with my new found friends and was trying desperately to maintain the balance of what I needed to do as a mom and a woman yet keep my friendships. After turning down many offers to hang out, an opportunity came where three of my neglected friends were all meeting up at the pool for dinner and swimming. I really did not feel up to it but then decided this would be a great way to get time in with all of them at once. Hey I could even invite my friend that just moved back to NC. She is living close to the the pool we all go to and I could use my guest pass.
I contacted my friends at the pool to let them know I would be bringing Lisa and her son and was excited for them to meet her as well. I then called Lisa and invited her and Daniel along. She said they would be there. Then I loaded up my family and headed for the pool.
When I arrived at the pool it was a lil awkward. See my friends all try to get along for my sake but they secretly don't like each other much. I was hoping that with time they would grow on each other. I was there maybe 10 minutes when in walked Daniel. "Hi Daniel!" I said. I noticed no mom was with him. "Daniel is your mom parking the car?" I ask. "I don't know" he replies. Five minutes later, no Lisa, so I say to Daniel again "where is your mom?" "oh she left" he says. "What do you mean she left?"  I ask. "She had some stuff to do." he says simply. "Is she coming back" I asked. "I think so" he says. "Well what did she say? Where did she go?" I hit him with a barrage of questions. I just cannot believe again that Lisa dropped her kid off and did not tell me anything. This behavior is so unlike the Lisa I knew before. She would never even let the boy out of her sight.
My friends pick up on the situation and have lots to say. 
"Where is your friend?" they ask sarcastically. 
"Is she coming?"
"Did she just drop him off?" 
"Did she ask you to watch him?" 
All reasonable questions that I did not have the answers to. I'm thinking maybe she forgot something at home or went to get food. Surely, Lisa will be here any minute, I assure them. An hour passes no Lisa. I'm getting annoyed at this. An hour later the pool is closing in 45 minutes so I call Lisa.
She answers and I say "hey where are you?" "At home resting" she says. "Oh I thought you were coming to the pool" "Naw" she says. "Oh... well.... okay... it would have been nice if you'd told me I'd have to watch Daniel" I say to her. "You don't. They have lifeguards there." she informs me. "Hmmm, alright" I say. Then there is a silence. She says "why is he a problem?" Clearly not getting the point. "No not at all" I say "but I thought you were coming too." "No, hadn't planned on it"  she says. "Well you are coming to pick him up right?" I ask "Oh I thought I'd get him from your house later, that way we can hang out a bit" she informs me. "I really had not planned on having company and I came out to spend time with you but you left"  I say. There is another loooong silence. "Well I'll just come over and get him now" she says clearly upset. "No he's fine, hell the pool closes in 45 minutes anyways and I am leaving when they close just make sure you are here by then" I am ready to hang up because this is not going well. "Nope I'll just come now" she insists.  We hang up. My other friend who overhears this convo, let's call her Mary, says "that's messed up she just dumped her kid off and did not tell you anything?" I just sit there not knowing what to say. "Are you mad?" Mary asks me. "I'm not mad, just irritated" I say thinking this is why I don't do the "socializing thing"
15 minutes later Lisa shows up. The reception from my friends is less than friendly. They have decided they do not like Lisa already. I can't blame them, that was not a good first impression. I try to small talk with Lisa because the tension is so obvious. Eventually the pool closes and we are headed out to our cars. Lisa asks if my son can go home with her and Danial for a sleepover. I say that would be fine but he has no clothes. "Oh that's okay, I'll follow you home and you can get him some" Lisa offers. Mary overhears this exchange and in her attempt  to save me from unwanted company she interjects "You are not going home Roc are you?" Lisa gives her a look.  I had already told Lisa I was going home, but of course Mary did not know that. It is now obvious to everyone what is going on. Lisa is well aware that I am trying to avoid having her come over. AKWARD. Again it had nothing at all to do with Lisa I was just done for the day. We had been at the pool for hours it was 8 o'clock, I had kids to settle and I was tired too. I stammer to recover form Mary's lie that was picked up on by Lisa and I say "Oh Mary I changed plans, I am going home, Lisa just follow me home and well get his clothes" I say and off we go.
When I pull up to my home Lisa is there waiting in her truck. I had stopped by Mcd's to get the kids some ice cream. I pull up and tell Marlon to quickly pack as to not keep Lisa waiting much more. I hop out of my van and tell Lisa come on in, "No she says, I will wait out here" she says. "No come on in" I insist. "No you made it clear you do not want company and I will respect that and wait nicely out here". Sound of crickets chirping as I do not know what to say to that. I try again to convince her to come in I feel compelled to explain, "its not that you cannot come in, I just am not up for company." I try to explain. "I understand. I will wait out here." She says.Which she did. And with the exception of her dropping off my son the next day I have not heard from her in a couple weeks.  And I have upset yet another friend. But don't worry in the next couple weeks I manage to upset pretty much all of them one by one. Hence why I prefer to have very few friends.
Here is what my future will soon be like.

Updates- Because Blogger Sucks Today

Okay, seriously I have a great post for you guys put it simply does not have the same value without the pics. But Blogger won't let me add the pics . WTF? any one else having this issue?? So that post is on hold and I'll give you a lil something else so that you won't feel deserted. I'll provide you updates on all my stuff that I just left you hanging with.


My TMobile Saga:  I received my new G2 phone. I am obsessed with it quite honestly. I haven't a clue how to use it properly but GOD! Who knew phones could do so much these days? Yes, I know you did Mike, but who else? I had no clue. I recommend everyone run out and get a smart phone NOW. I heart TMobile again.


My Doctor Drama-  Remember how they called me and said I had Cancer then after 15 minutes of telling me all about it ....whoops wrong person? You don't know? Well click that link because if you have not read it than you will certainly not believe it. Anyhoos, Haven't heard from them since. Not one word. Even though they were supposed to call me two weeks ago for a follow up on my issue that had just been left hanging. I haven't called them either. But it is on my to do list. I just hate dealing with them period. I still pee lots!


My Morning Annoyance- So I bitched about this lady in the shopping center who was really draining me.....after the post she never came back again. I swear she read it. I swear she did. She no longer waves, smiles, stops by, nothing! At first I felt horrible but then I thought " the peace was kinda nice". Today she stopped by???? Weird huh. It was a short awkward visit though. 


Miss Friendly Panties at The Y- I really thought you guys would be more sympathetic to her but you were not. I took your advice but was  gonna wait for her to be rude again. People that are that rude are usually always rude. Then I would complain. Thing is I never saw her again? Not sure if she even works there?


My Mental State- After splitting with the RA, I was concerned about my mental state. I was just so numb. I'm never numb! You guys were so awesome in providing me with insight about that. That is my fav thing about blogging by the way,  blog followers are such a unbiased source of info and advice. I so felt the love in the comments that day. Where things are now? He is now coming around more often than not. I'm not sure if he has no where to go or what his deal is. But he does not have a key so he cannot get in without me and he does leave a couple nights a week. He now pays child support so far every week without fail which is Epic and certainly helps. I'm just living life and instead of including him in it, he fits in where he can get in. I've just decided that since I am not a priority in his life he should not be one in mine. He still constantly disappoints me but, I count on him as little as possible and that helps.


Dollar Tree Biiiatch- I was gonna go by there and make her life hell. But life got busy. Then when I did go, she was not there. Yesterday I went there and she was there but she polite so we'll see.


So I hope you all have enjoyed the updates. Now Blogger----Get your ish together!

I'm Back...Well Barely

Oh good grief-
You guys can only imagine the HELL that has been Raquel's World for a week or so. So much hell I could not even blog. Let's see where do I start?
I have been SICK, SICK, SICK...I had a round of strep-throat, a touch of the flu, and a headache for 3 days, and now I believe I have Thrush...WTF!!!
If you recall our job laid off the majority of our staff and we are now down to a VERY small crew. As usual when I warned my boss this was not the way to handle it because flu season was coming and one of our 4 staff members was also moving, cutting back so severely would leave us destitute in the event anyone or one of our 20 kids (we all have 4 or more kids each) became  ill. No one listened and we all became ill around the same time the one staff member was moving and it is also our busiest time. So my week was a mixture of calling out sick and feeling guilty for the staff that was stuck, and dragging my ass in sick-as-a-dog and getting stuck working by myself. Uggghhhh. It was not good and since I could not take more than a day off at a time I never fully recovered. In addition to that it was a very busy week at our job so, not good, not good. I am still not well. I cough as if I smoke 5 packs of Marlboro Reds an hour, and you do not even wanna know the things I have coughed up this week. Or do you? I would love to tell you but it could very well be TMI.
Okay add to that the fact that in my home/personal life I am having DRAMA! Drama. Drama. Drama!!! It all has been just too damn much to bear. I'll save that for another post. On top of that we had out of town guests for 3 days and on top of that my insurance canceled, for no good reason. Actually looks like they made a mistake, shocking huh? So I am currently mid battle with my insurance company.
I had a new lovely staff member due to start last week to save our sinking ship and I was so excited we would all be able to get a sigh of relief but to my horror she emailed the night before she was due to start and said she had a better offer and would not be coming. Oh good lord.. I could go on and on, trust me this is all the PG version of life lately but, I'm back. In a zombie state no less but back so hopefully I will get back in the swing of things and get some posts up this week. I have some really good stuff to share.
Anyhoo,, that's whats been up with me. I guess I'll get to reading and see what's been up with you all. Oh and by the way if anyone knows any good home remedies for thrush please let me know. I am already taking acidophilus pills and eating yogurt.

I'ma Have To Whop That A**

I was raised in the Ghetto. The true ghetto, gunshots and all. My mom fled and abusive marriage ...uh number 5 I think, but I'm not entirely sure. We had to go into hiding from our abusive new "daddy". After a stay at the Salvation Army we were given a home in a neighborhood called "Kentwood". After a year or two we were one of only 4 white families remaining. This meant constant fighting on my part just to survive in the unwelcoming territory. Mostly because my mom would get wasted and shout out racial slurs that I would then have to pay for. In this neighborhood fighting was how you survived.So I fought... ALOT coming up. We remained there  for almost 10 years. Hence my propensity to not shy away from a fight. I mean yeah, as I got older and had kids those things I outgrew but when something really gets under my skin it's hard not to revert back to what I know. I'm saying that to say that if someone really gets under my skin I am all about a fight. Get it over with.  It's just the way I was raised.
Now, There is someone who I really wanna show my skills to. This individual is an annoying, psychotic, drunk. She is RA's ex. Oh, she loves to fuck with me, and more specifically him. She has been the cause of 8 or more breakups throughout the RA's and my 12 year relationship. It hasn't always been her fault. Sometimes, honestly it has been him. Or more specifically the way he deals with her or lack thereof.  She divorced him well before I came along and wanted nothing to do with him. Until I came along. A few months into our relationship he and I split so the two of them could give it another go. I wanted him to be sure he was over what they had and since they had two kids if they could work it out I was all for it. I didn't love him back then, just enjoyed his company so it wasn't that hard. It lasted a week. Then he was calling me saying he couldn't live without me and he did not want to be with her. A couple months later we tried again. She became engaged to another guy and it appeared other than the role of his kids mother she was out of our lives.
That did not last. It appears that every time we are doing well she pops her ass back up.  She has done things throughout our relationship like call  RA at 2am, just cause she needed someone to talk to. When I met the RA she had little to no dealings with his family but as soon as I became a part of his family she suddenly wedged her way back in using the kids as a tool. She began showing up at family functions etc. Then she made a face book page, friended his entire family and refers to then as "sis", "bro", "mom" etc. Really? I, although annoyed because her motives are transparent, was not bothered by this because she lives in the same town with his family and since she has two kids by him I think its great that she involve his family in their lives. She has played upon her "mental illness" for attention. There have been many cases over the years. I often felt like maybe RA wanted to rekindle his marriage.  I mean she shockingly pursued him and at times he didn't seem to mind. Hence many a break-up where I would send him back to her. I mean who am I to stand in the way of love? Funny thing is as soon as I send him back to her she don't want him. She'll date another guy in his face for example. 
This has been a seesaw for years. As far as I know they have never really gotten back together since he first moved in with me 12 years ago. But I get sick of living in her shadow. So when I have had enough we break up. After all I know my worth and I am not playing runner up to no chick.
She has to have a man. she hops from man to man. Sometimes when she is secure in her own relationship she will behave herself and leave us alone. But as soon as there is trouble in paradise she seems to start her mess up again.
I have tried talking to her woman to woman. She doesn't answer my calls and refuses to return my messages. Which makes her motives quite clear to me.  I get frustrated because I feel like he should put her in her place. He says she is unstable mentally and he doesn't want to push her over the edge and thinks ignoring her is the best solution. I sent RA back to his hometown last year again just because I get tired of dealing with this. A couple months later he was back and all has been pretty honky-dory since then. Actually after we worked past the first few months of reconciling he has been a gem. Everything I could ask for. He has been an attentive dad and man for me and has gone above and beyond helping at home and with the kids. Life for us together couldn't be better. During this time she has posted on his facebook wall about how much she loves him and always will. He, as far as I can tell, did not respond. So it bothered me none. Last night she texted him "wanna sing me a song". So after I chewed his ass and he proclaimed innocence I called her myself. I like to deal with this kinda stuff head on. I called her, she picked up and then pretended to not have signal, hung up then ignored the rest of my calls. So I texted her the following "This is Roc, which I'm sure you already know, it would be greatly appreciated if you quit texting David some bullshit, if you wanna hear a song I suggest you turn on the radio". She did not reply at all and I stood watch over his phone to see if she would attempt to contact him. Nothing! Ugggh. I hate the passive aggressive shit. I mean really if you got something to say then say it, stand up for what you're all about. I mean come on. The fact that she will not communicate with me lets me know she is trying to annoy me. And she is. I really wanna drive down there and whop her ass one good time. 
I cannot believe I am letting this girl get under my skin this way. I am 30something for the love of god and 30somethings do not go around kicking ass but OMG this girl is really asking for it. I would have been done it but I was thinking about the kids and I did not want anyone to think I was fighting over the RA. This is past him now it is personal between she and I. I know the best thing is to ignore it etc, I try but she always finds a way to get under my skin. What would you do?