The Robbery- Part 3- Suspect

How It Started

How my son got named a suspect

I realize everyone wants me to get to the conclusion of this but I feel it is important to take you on the journey just as I went on it. That way you can feel the confusion, suspicion, and doubt. Don't worry it will eventually wrap up.

The night was rough. I awakened the next morning to get ready for work. David had agreed to stay home to secure the house and let in CCBI (Crime Scene People). I watched my son eat his breakfast. I stared at him wondering Could he have? Did he? What would I do of he had? What would I say to him if he hadn't? I was teary-eyed and emotional but needed to go to work. I straightened up a bit and placed a call to the police station like I had been instructed to do. Some red-neck asshole answered. I began to explain to him that I needed CCBI to come out. He cut me off rudely and said to me "you mean to tell me your home was robbed and you called off CCBI because you were tired?!"  The aggravation in his voice was apparent. I explained that I had small kids that were exhausted and terrified and we had waited 5 plus hours and I needed to do what was best for my children at that time. He yelled at me "do you not know that time is of the essence when there is a crime?!" I explained that we stayed away from the room in which entry had been made. He made a few other rude remarks. I was already emotional and could not understand what this dudes problem was. I explained to him that I am not a criminal therefore did not know how the justice system works. I was advised by the officer that it was okay to wait until the morning to call. He said "well you can call them yourself! I'm not calling!"  I was shocked. I was offended. I had been victimized and could not believe how rude this guys was. I hung up and called CCBI.

The CCBI people wanted to know why I was calling instead of the police. I was told by them that citizens do not call for their own investigations that call should be made from my police station. I explained that some guy down there refused to call and told me to call myself. The CCBI person was very nice and said he would look into that for me because that was handled completely wrong. He apologized on behalf of the police department and said he would send someone out asap. I  got into my car to head off to work and as I pulled out my gut was telling me what I had to do.  I parked my car, I reentered my home crying and went into Michael's closet to retrieve the shoes he had on the day before. I gave them to David. I said to him "give these shoes to them to see if the prints match." I felt horrible it was like leading my son to a slaughter. I could not help but feel I was betraying him and the feeling was awful. I then left for work.

The CCBI people came and managed to get two full sets of prints, they did not seem interested in the shoes? So now all I could do was wait .I went back the next day to see the neighbor. I interrogated her myself. She said she saw my son at 210p that was a time he should have been at school. She said she saw him walk down the road and meet up with a group of older boys one street over. She said there were 5 guys in hoodies waiting. At the time she thought it was odd but had no clue that my home had just been robbed. I then placed a call to my sons school. The attendance office verified he was there. I know that attendance is done at the beginning of the period so my son could have checked in and left. So I explained to the school what was going on and asked to speak with the teacher directly. I wanted to make sure my son was there at 215 when the bell rang. He was. I was relieved about that. I immediately shared that info with my neighbor who then said she may have been off by 10 or 15 minutes which meant my son could have been at school and could have made it home in time to do the crime. My relief was short lived.

Over the next few days I could barely look at my son without crying and wondering. All things ran through my head. I knew he was drug free. I had tested him again. So it just did not make sense. But neither did his demeanor. My other kids were still scared and full of questions. Michael was not. I had to adjust my work hours so that I could be home when they got home because Marlon was scared to be home alone. There was also tension between my two sons. They had blamed each other and were not speaking. I asked Michael over and over again. I hounded him with questions I searched his room. I stalked his facebook friends. I made it clear to him that he was the number one suspect and not only did I but the entire family treated him as such. 

A few days later I was still treating him weird I did not know what to think. If he would even speak to me I'd tear up. This was my baby. One particular evening I was sitting on the couch in the dark just thinking. He came in and sat down across from me. He meekly said "Mom, I did not do this" I did not answer. He then said "Mom you know I was a victim too. My stuff got stolen too." I did not answer. He looked at me sadly. I said to him "Michael she saw you." He replied "well maybe she was wrong. Maybe it was someone who looked like me." To that I said nothing. He told me  there is a kid that people mix up with him all the time. I could not believe he was still lying to me so I left the room in silence. 

Later that night David approached me and said he wanted to show me something. He pulled out his blackberry and showed me a picture of what looked like my son. But..it wasn't my son. He said it was a kid that went to school with Michael and Michael had showed him the picture. I stared at the picture. It was uncanny the resemblence this kid had to my son. Could this be the answer I prayed for? As I went through this kids facebook page it was clear he was in a gang. You can tell by the language and hand signs. I read all his wall posts about "getting that money" on the day my home was robbed. This kid was a complete menace to society. I spent hours picking apart his life through his face book friends. I discovered that this kid lived two streets over and walked past my street to go to school each day. I also found out that he had been in my home before. One day the boys were playing bball out front and he had walked up and asked Michael if he could get a drink of water. Michael brought him in our home.  By the end of the night I had a glimmer of hope.

Who Does That?

Saturday night I get a facebook message, my friend from years ago that had moved is back; just got in last night and wants to come by the next day. I am excited that she is back however I had plans already for the next day. So she asks if she can come pick up one of my sons to spend the day with her and her son tomorrow. I say sure. Plans are made. 
The next day there is a knock on the door. Her son (13 years old now) enters. Mind you, I have not seen this family since he was 8? I say hi and get the greetings out of the way. It is just him so I am assuming his mom is parking. After 5 minutes no mom enters so I ask him "Daniel, where is your mom?" "Oh she went to pick up a friend" he says. I'm thinking he's joking so I get up and look out the window, no mom. I am shocked that she did not come in or tell me she would be dropping Daniel off. I am shocked and a little irritated. 
15 minutes later my friend arrives and in tow is a guy that many years ago she hung out with. A guy she knows that I dislike very much. She informs me that he will be joining them on their outing. I share my concerns with her about the dude and she tells me that he has changed so much and really gotten his life together. Apparently he had been a good friend to her over the years. Although I still don't like him, I relent.
So off they go. A couple hours later I am knee deep in laundry, I have 4 different pots going on the stove, a toddler  in the tub, and mop water ready to go. I had been cleaning all day and cooking a big meal. It is Sunday and all my kids are home and I wanted to have a big Sunday family dinner. They return and I spend 15 minutes being social and then explain that I have lots of housework to do so I must excuse myself to get busy. hint hint Oh okay she says and continues chatting with her friend ( the one I do not like) meanwhile I am folding laundry and cooking. I need to get the floors mopped prior to dinner and I need to get the linens changed in the back of the house but of course I cannot just leave people sitting in my living room. So I hint a bit more to no avail.
After a while she asks if I want to go walking. "Umm, no I am getting ready to have dinner with my family" I say. Hint Hint "Oh how nice" she says. She proceeds to tell me she has temporarily moved back to her parents and just can't stand being there so she has to have a "go-to place" to regain her sanity. Apparently I am the planned "go-to place." While I sympathize with that. I so am not the place. I work full time, four kids...................why do I feel like I say that in every post? Like that is my name, Hi, I am Raquel-Work-Full-Time-Have-Four-Kids. 
Another 45 minutes passes my dinner has been done and is sitting on the stove. The freshness draining away each moment. I do not want to eat in front of them. I  do not have enough to invite them to stay and I am hungry, my kids are hungry but my company is just not getting the hint.


They continue to hang out socializing. I am becoming more annoyed by the second. I worked hard on that dinner and it is drying out on the stove while I await every ones exit. Finally I try a more direct approach and list off all the stuff I have to do including feeding my kids. She still seemed oblivious. Her friend then says he needs to get going. Thank God I think. But then she says to my horror. "I'm gonna run him home and I'll be back to hang out". "No!" I almost yell. "No hanging out tonight for me." I stammer as she looks at me horridly. A light pops on and she says "oh we are intruding huh?" "Yes" I say honestly.  As soon as I do I see the hurt in her face and I feel very rude after all she just got in from another state last night. I have not seen her in years but come on! She then asks if her son can stay over. I truly am not in the mood for more kids but I figure she did take my kids skating so... I say sure and the plans are set for her to return in the morning to pick up Daniel while I am at work.
The next day I return form work and enter my home to a stank ass smell. "What is that?" I immediately ask my boys. I continue sniffing around "it smells like a wet nasty dog in here" I say disgusted at the scent. My son then tells me "Oh Lisa brought her dog in when she came to pick up Daniel." What the hell? Who does that? I have no pets and care to have no animals running around inside my house. I did not know if the dog has fleas, shots whatever! And either way I do not want animals in my house. I am furious. I yell at my boys for letting her bring the dog in and that's when my oldest says "well you can take that up with Lisa she says they will be back around 6."

The next day I did not hear from Lisa. It was my intent when I spoke with her to make a planned time to get together. I am totally not trying to dis my friend but she is a carefree unscheduled spirit. I am not. I decide I am too exhausted to try to do anything more than what must be done around the house. The boys go for a sleepover and I am looking forward to a quiet relaxing night with David. We put the little ones to bed and make plans for romance. I run a much needed bubble bath. I am so looking forward to a nice evening.
It is 845p. I lower myself into the relaxing bubbles, put my feet up and reach for my wine glass ready to unwind. Just as I exhale I realize that I forgot to get my scrubby. So I holler for David. 
Mason comes instead and says "dads outside". I ask "outside for what?" "Oh Lisa's here" he says "WTH! Lisa's here now?" I ask. "Yup" he says "her and Daniel". I check the clock its almost 9pm WTF? I get up at 5a to go to work. I have kids in school that go to bed at 8. Who does that? I am fuming and panicked thinking I am gonna have to ditch my bath and deal with this and I am so not in the mood. As I sit there frantically trying to figure out a nice way to disappoint her yet again David enters. I brace myself for him to say Lisa's in the living room. But he tells me he told her I was in the tub and she left. He says she looked disappointed. I feel bad but seriously I am too busy for this ish. 
Dodged the bullet that night but I will have to face this sooner or later. Just glad its not tonight. 

The Other Woman

Ever had a situation in which you were just stuck? Stuck. Either way you go things could end up not so good. This is hard to share because honestly this does not match my tough chick exterior but I am in a state of confusion and you guys always advise me so well. So here goes:


Everyone knows that the RA and I split up in May. I just felt it was time for him to go and he did. The first month was okay I spoke of being numb and feeling nothing. I threw myself into a bunch of activities to keep my mind and the kids minds occupied. RA would come visit a few nights a week and that was that. In July the RA was around a lot more and seemed to be showing the first signs of regret that he ever left. He began to speak of missing his home and family so we spent more time together. During this split we had sex several times and he told me that he loved me and missed me when he wasn't there over and over.I never said it back just kept my eyes open and my heart closed. I needed to move on.


This weekend he told me he wanted to come home and be a family.He told me that he had been selfish and realized it. This is a first for him because always in our dealings he had never taken responsibility for our dysfunction. He said he wanted to come clean with me and start over fresh.
In that he told me that he had been having a relationship with another woman while we were separated. I was furious and hurt. He told me that he thought we were really done and he should move on. He and this particular woman sped into a serious relationship in which she relocated from another town to be with him. She knew all about me but did not mind. Anyways he confessed all this to me to tell me he wanted to end things with her and come home. He said that while he tried to move on he just couldn't stop thinking about me.
He confessed it all. Then he placed a call to end things with the other woman. He told her that he could not continue  to see her because he had not gotten over me and he was coming home and whatever they had was over. He made this call separate from me. The girl was crushed and continually called him and begged him for another chance or to sit down and talk things over. Something about that situation struck a chord with me. I realized I was not ready for him to move on with someone else. Do I want to be with him? I'm unsure but I sure as hell cannot stand the thought of him moving on so seriously so quickly. She called and called and called him until I made him answer the phone in front of me. When he did she apparently was headed to my home. She was crying and begging and I felt bad for her. She told him She had  gotten my address and wanted to tell me everything that went on between them. I welcomed her over because I knew that RA was only gonna give me a version in which he looked the best. She decided to turn around and not come but she continually expressed her shock and hurt over the fact hat he had ended things so abruptly with her.
I just sat there listening to the whole thing. Him apologizing and explaining that he could not move on from me and her begging and crying. I was shocked. I always thought there at the end that he was being less than honest but I had no clue he had an actual girlfriend that he was spending time with. I was crushed and I felt stupid. He spent the entire night revealing information to me regarding the relationship. I demanded that at least he give me full disclosure. He also tried to convince me that he had learned a lesson and he just wanted to come home and do right by me and the kids. 
I am stuck. Here is why:
I look at it  two ways:
1- He does love me. Here he had this woman who was willing to change her whole life around for him and relocate so that he could be close to his kids and job. She seemed to really love him. I am a realist. I began to imagine how nice that must have been for him. Just carefree dating and having fun. No kids, no responsibilities no baggage between them. You now how good new love feels. Compared to being with me. There is little fun, lots of responsibility and tons of issues between us. We can barely carry on a conversation without arguing. I had no clue she even existed. She was okay with his situation with me so he could have carried on having the best of both worlds. But he did not. He made a choice and he came clean to both of us and then ended things with her.
Then I feel this way:
2- That bastard! How the hell can he move on so quickly and so seriously after 12 years!! And now he thinks he can just come home and start anew like nothing ever went down?! How the hell can I trust him?
I go back and forth. One minute I feel like he had to go experience this with another woman to realize that the grass is not always greener on the other side and now he realizes how much he loves and needs me in his life. This was just the wake up call he needed. Maybe now he will start acting like a man and be there for his family. Then I feel like I can't trust this dude! He had never let on that he was involved with someone else although I asked him repeatedly. 


I need to say here that I have often after a split between us picked up and started seeing someone else rather quickly. But I always told him about it. So I am more upset that he did not tell me then the fact that he had another woman. 
I am so confused. Hearing another woman on the phone telling him what a great man he is and how blessed she was to have had him in her life  and how much she loved him and would wait was really hard. It was something I've never had to deal with. But when things ended it was clear that she was not done. Even after he told her how he felt and he was coming home to fix things she continually begged him for one more night, or even 5 minutes. She has continued to call/text him since that night.
So here's the dilemma. I have her number, and I also can message her via facebook. I feel as if she and I should have a chat. One to clear up any questions I have and two to let her know that if I decide to let him come home she must back off and move on. I want to make sure he left nothing out and that he has not contacted her since that night. But I also feel like that may not be the best idea. 
Originally I felt horrible for her. Felt like she was a victim of his lies just as I had been but upon closer inspection not so much. She knew about me. I am on his facebook page which is where they reconnected and she knew he stayed at my home often and she also knew that I was in the dark about her. So now I really do not feel so bad for her. It has even been discovered that they started their lil thing while he was still living in my home which is why she quickly relocated to get him outta my house. So I'm kinda irritated with her too. She did not care about me so should I even care about her? Should I forgive him? He did come clean to me and is willing to do whatever to make things better with us. But I just do not want anything to pop up later that should be put to rest now. Should I contact her? 

My Top Ten PIss-Me- Off-ers

Since I'm low on material this week, I thought I'd share my top ten Piss Me Off-ers! Two of them I have written about before so click the links if you'd like. Enjoy!

1- The moms who look like a million bucks at preschool but yet haven't found time to bathe their kid all week.


2-People that do not say thank you when you hold open the door for them.


3- Parents who dose their sick and fevered kid up with Tylenol then drop them off at the play center or school so they can go to brunch. Yeah, because brunch is way more important than your baby!


4- Parents that push organic and healthy options but then microwave the food. Hello?


5- People that tell me how broke they are that they can't pay their light bill then ask me to hold on while the Ruby Tuesday waitress takes their order.


6- People who let their trash blow onto your lawn and then act like they don't notice the gigantic taco box on my grass.

7- People who slaughter their own dinner just for sport


8- People who are always bitching about money but take time off every week.


9- When someone thinks that limiting the use of driving their Hummer due to the cost of gas, compares with the daily struggle of affording food for your family. They had to drive the Escalade instead. Boo. Hoo


10- And last but definitely the most annoying to me is people that post Biblical scriptures on facebook and if you scroll down their photo album is full of scantly clad pics of them getting smashed. Or you know them to to be huge sinners.

What's your number one Piss You Off-er?

I'ma Have To Whop That A**

I was raised in the Ghetto. The true ghetto, gunshots and all. My mom fled and abusive marriage ...uh number 5 I think, but I'm not entirely sure. We had to go into hiding from our abusive new "daddy". After a stay at the Salvation Army we were given a home in a neighborhood called "Kentwood". After a year or two we were one of only 4 white families remaining. This meant constant fighting on my part just to survive in the unwelcoming territory. Mostly because my mom would get wasted and shout out racial slurs that I would then have to pay for. In this neighborhood fighting was how you survived.So I fought... ALOT coming up. We remained there  for almost 10 years. Hence my propensity to not shy away from a fight. I mean yeah, as I got older and had kids those things I outgrew but when something really gets under my skin it's hard not to revert back to what I know. I'm saying that to say that if someone really gets under my skin I am all about a fight. Get it over with.  It's just the way I was raised.
Now, There is someone who I really wanna show my skills to. This individual is an annoying, psychotic, drunk. She is RA's ex. Oh, she loves to fuck with me, and more specifically him. She has been the cause of 8 or more breakups throughout the RA's and my 12 year relationship. It hasn't always been her fault. Sometimes, honestly it has been him. Or more specifically the way he deals with her or lack thereof.  She divorced him well before I came along and wanted nothing to do with him. Until I came along. A few months into our relationship he and I split so the two of them could give it another go. I wanted him to be sure he was over what they had and since they had two kids if they could work it out I was all for it. I didn't love him back then, just enjoyed his company so it wasn't that hard. It lasted a week. Then he was calling me saying he couldn't live without me and he did not want to be with her. A couple months later we tried again. She became engaged to another guy and it appeared other than the role of his kids mother she was out of our lives.
That did not last. It appears that every time we are doing well she pops her ass back up.  She has done things throughout our relationship like call  RA at 2am, just cause she needed someone to talk to. When I met the RA she had little to no dealings with his family but as soon as I became a part of his family she suddenly wedged her way back in using the kids as a tool. She began showing up at family functions etc. Then she made a face book page, friended his entire family and refers to then as "sis", "bro", "mom" etc. Really? I, although annoyed because her motives are transparent, was not bothered by this because she lives in the same town with his family and since she has two kids by him I think its great that she involve his family in their lives. She has played upon her "mental illness" for attention. There have been many cases over the years. I often felt like maybe RA wanted to rekindle his marriage.  I mean she shockingly pursued him and at times he didn't seem to mind. Hence many a break-up where I would send him back to her. I mean who am I to stand in the way of love? Funny thing is as soon as I send him back to her she don't want him. She'll date another guy in his face for example. 
This has been a seesaw for years. As far as I know they have never really gotten back together since he first moved in with me 12 years ago. But I get sick of living in her shadow. So when I have had enough we break up. After all I know my worth and I am not playing runner up to no chick.
She has to have a man. she hops from man to man. Sometimes when she is secure in her own relationship she will behave herself and leave us alone. But as soon as there is trouble in paradise she seems to start her mess up again.
I have tried talking to her woman to woman. She doesn't answer my calls and refuses to return my messages. Which makes her motives quite clear to me.  I get frustrated because I feel like he should put her in her place. He says she is unstable mentally and he doesn't want to push her over the edge and thinks ignoring her is the best solution. I sent RA back to his hometown last year again just because I get tired of dealing with this. A couple months later he was back and all has been pretty honky-dory since then. Actually after we worked past the first few months of reconciling he has been a gem. Everything I could ask for. He has been an attentive dad and man for me and has gone above and beyond helping at home and with the kids. Life for us together couldn't be better. During this time she has posted on his facebook wall about how much she loves him and always will. He, as far as I can tell, did not respond. So it bothered me none. Last night she texted him "wanna sing me a song". So after I chewed his ass and he proclaimed innocence I called her myself. I like to deal with this kinda stuff head on. I called her, she picked up and then pretended to not have signal, hung up then ignored the rest of my calls. So I texted her the following "This is Roc, which I'm sure you already know, it would be greatly appreciated if you quit texting David some bullshit, if you wanna hear a song I suggest you turn on the radio". She did not reply at all and I stood watch over his phone to see if she would attempt to contact him. Nothing! Ugggh. I hate the passive aggressive shit. I mean really if you got something to say then say it, stand up for what you're all about. I mean come on. The fact that she will not communicate with me lets me know she is trying to annoy me. And she is. I really wanna drive down there and whop her ass one good time. 
I cannot believe I am letting this girl get under my skin this way. I am 30something for the love of god and 30somethings do not go around kicking ass but OMG this girl is really asking for it. I would have been done it but I was thinking about the kids and I did not want anyone to think I was fighting over the RA. This is past him now it is personal between she and I. I know the best thing is to ignore it etc, I try but she always finds a way to get under my skin. What would you do?

Some Random Ish

Have nothing to post about so I thought I would throw some random shit together.

Here goes..

*We have had a hummingbird feeder for about 6 months and never saw one hummingbird, yesterday we saw several using the feeder. I have never really paid attention to hummingbirds.. They are awesome. The entire family gathered around the window to watch the birds, it was a wholesome sweet time.

*There is a kitten in our neighborhood. It appears the people that just moved out just decided to leave their kitty behind. Assholes! My three year old has adopted the cat, feeding it and caring for it. I am not too excited about this since the cat is a stray and may have god knows what, but the cat seems to really have a thing for my princess and the feeling is mutual. We cannot adopt the cat because financially we cannot afford another bill right now. ETW, Maybe you can adopt her, she's a calico. I'll try to post some pics when/if I can.

*Yesterday was the first day of school for my Marlon and Mike, and I got 2 hours of homework! That is now four kids in four schools. And guess what else crazy Ima do? Sign princess up for dance classes. Crazy me.

*There is someone on facebook that is annoying the fucking shit outta me. We are unsung enemies. (we have kids by the same guy) Can you say Baby Mama Drama? She does not approach me directly but attempts to friend my friends (that she doesn't know) and is always posting shit on his wall to annoy me. I wanna really post some bad shit about her but am trying desperately to take the high road.

*My job is picking up and I am grateful for that.

*My house is super gross right now, I mean it looks clean but is you take a closer look you will see that it is so not clean. I'm gonna work on that real soon.

*I kicked that sorry ass eye doctor to the curb and got me a new one. We are going in today and guess what? It is literally 2 minutes from home. Score!

*I am big on writing letters of complaints to incompetent businesses that provide bad service. I am almost certain that a letter will be headed out to the eye doc soon. But today, I wrote thank you letters/emails to both my sons ortho and my daughters dentist for providing me with such great service over the years. Proud of that!

*You have heard me complain about how the parents leave sick kids with us all the time, if not read about that here. Well yesterday a mom calls to tell us that her son has chickenpox. Fucking Super! He was here all last week and I thought he seemed quite sick but couldn't quite put my finger on it. I better not turn out like this.

*Good News...I went to McDonalds this weekend and got 6, yes I said 6 Syrups!! BooYah!

*Bad News....I went to the doc last week and I had to be weighed and lets just say it won't pretty. I gotta get my ass in gear.

That's all for now BIZNITCHES!

BTW that's my new shit...Biznitches (bitches) I stole it from a local DJ but I like it none the less. So it's mine.