Who Does That?

Saturday night I get a facebook message, my friend from years ago that had moved is back; just got in last night and wants to come by the next day. I am excited that she is back however I had plans already for the next day. So she asks if she can come pick up one of my sons to spend the day with her and her son tomorrow. I say sure. Plans are made. 
The next day there is a knock on the door. Her son (13 years old now) enters. Mind you, I have not seen this family since he was 8? I say hi and get the greetings out of the way. It is just him so I am assuming his mom is parking. After 5 minutes no mom enters so I ask him "Daniel, where is your mom?" "Oh she went to pick up a friend" he says. I'm thinking he's joking so I get up and look out the window, no mom. I am shocked that she did not come in or tell me she would be dropping Daniel off. I am shocked and a little irritated. 
15 minutes later my friend arrives and in tow is a guy that many years ago she hung out with. A guy she knows that I dislike very much. She informs me that he will be joining them on their outing. I share my concerns with her about the dude and she tells me that he has changed so much and really gotten his life together. Apparently he had been a good friend to her over the years. Although I still don't like him, I relent.
So off they go. A couple hours later I am knee deep in laundry, I have 4 different pots going on the stove, a toddler  in the tub, and mop water ready to go. I had been cleaning all day and cooking a big meal. It is Sunday and all my kids are home and I wanted to have a big Sunday family dinner. They return and I spend 15 minutes being social and then explain that I have lots of housework to do so I must excuse myself to get busy. hint hint Oh okay she says and continues chatting with her friend ( the one I do not like) meanwhile I am folding laundry and cooking. I need to get the floors mopped prior to dinner and I need to get the linens changed in the back of the house but of course I cannot just leave people sitting in my living room. So I hint a bit more to no avail.
After a while she asks if I want to go walking. "Umm, no I am getting ready to have dinner with my family" I say. Hint Hint "Oh how nice" she says. She proceeds to tell me she has temporarily moved back to her parents and just can't stand being there so she has to have a "go-to place" to regain her sanity. Apparently I am the planned "go-to place." While I sympathize with that. I so am not the place. I work full time, four kids...................why do I feel like I say that in every post? Like that is my name, Hi, I am Raquel-Work-Full-Time-Have-Four-Kids. 
Another 45 minutes passes my dinner has been done and is sitting on the stove. The freshness draining away each moment. I do not want to eat in front of them. I  do not have enough to invite them to stay and I am hungry, my kids are hungry but my company is just not getting the hint.


They continue to hang out socializing. I am becoming more annoyed by the second. I worked hard on that dinner and it is drying out on the stove while I await every ones exit. Finally I try a more direct approach and list off all the stuff I have to do including feeding my kids. She still seemed oblivious. Her friend then says he needs to get going. Thank God I think. But then she says to my horror. "I'm gonna run him home and I'll be back to hang out". "No!" I almost yell. "No hanging out tonight for me." I stammer as she looks at me horridly. A light pops on and she says "oh we are intruding huh?" "Yes" I say honestly.  As soon as I do I see the hurt in her face and I feel very rude after all she just got in from another state last night. I have not seen her in years but come on! She then asks if her son can stay over. I truly am not in the mood for more kids but I figure she did take my kids skating so... I say sure and the plans are set for her to return in the morning to pick up Daniel while I am at work.
The next day I return form work and enter my home to a stank ass smell. "What is that?" I immediately ask my boys. I continue sniffing around "it smells like a wet nasty dog in here" I say disgusted at the scent. My son then tells me "Oh Lisa brought her dog in when she came to pick up Daniel." What the hell? Who does that? I have no pets and care to have no animals running around inside my house. I did not know if the dog has fleas, shots whatever! And either way I do not want animals in my house. I am furious. I yell at my boys for letting her bring the dog in and that's when my oldest says "well you can take that up with Lisa she says they will be back around 6."

The next day I did not hear from Lisa. It was my intent when I spoke with her to make a planned time to get together. I am totally not trying to dis my friend but she is a carefree unscheduled spirit. I am not. I decide I am too exhausted to try to do anything more than what must be done around the house. The boys go for a sleepover and I am looking forward to a quiet relaxing night with David. We put the little ones to bed and make plans for romance. I run a much needed bubble bath. I am so looking forward to a nice evening.
It is 845p. I lower myself into the relaxing bubbles, put my feet up and reach for my wine glass ready to unwind. Just as I exhale I realize that I forgot to get my scrubby. So I holler for David. 
Mason comes instead and says "dads outside". I ask "outside for what?" "Oh Lisa's here" he says "WTH! Lisa's here now?" I ask. "Yup" he says "her and Daniel". I check the clock its almost 9pm WTF? I get up at 5a to go to work. I have kids in school that go to bed at 8. Who does that? I am fuming and panicked thinking I am gonna have to ditch my bath and deal with this and I am so not in the mood. As I sit there frantically trying to figure out a nice way to disappoint her yet again David enters. I brace myself for him to say Lisa's in the living room. But he tells me he told her I was in the tub and she left. He says she looked disappointed. I feel bad but seriously I am too busy for this ish. 
Dodged the bullet that night but I will have to face this sooner or later. Just glad its not tonight. 

Final Chapter- Could Be Worms

So I awoke to breakfast in bed compliments the RA. Pancakes, bacon, cream of wheat, scrambled cheese eggs, warm pure maple syrup. Made me wonder if the doggy was out back. I ate my breakfast then went on a check to make sure the dog wasn't stashed somewhere. I also noticed since yesterday that my son and daughter were sick. No fever but my son stayed in bed most of the weekend and anyone with a 9 year old boy knows that that is a sure sign something ain't right. My daughter was also saying she didn't feel good. After sharing this with one of my girlfriends she told me that kids can catch worms from a dog and it can be very serious. So in typical Roc (me) fashion. I was certain my kids all had worms. I got online again because remember I am online doctor...

 and discovered that yes they could catch worms and it was serious. I got off the Internet and explained to RA that thanks to him the kids were all infested with worms and would probably die. Oh I went on and on and like usual he just tuned me out. I certainly did not feel that I should miss work because of his stupid ideas so I made my sickest son an appointment for Monday morning and told RA he would have to take him in.

For the remainder of the day RA was quite helpful. he cleaned, did laundry, cooked a lavish dinner of BBQ chicken, corn on the cob and some potatoeish dish that he created. he also baked a cake. I was hopeful that he was sorry about this crap and was trying to make it up. And to really push it, I hauled ass outta there. I decided since he is rarely around cooking and kid watching I would use the time to undue my stress and go tanning and shopping, which I did.

The next morning RA called me after my sons appointment and I braced myself for the bad news.
"How long does he have?" I asked.
"Until what?" said RA.
"You know, the end" I said.
 "Roc, the boy doesn't have worms."
 "Well then what does he have?"
 "a cold" he replied.
"Oh, well gotta go".

Warning: Animal Lovers...Skip This Post

This post will serve two fold.

One- To give you a glimpse into my suck-ass weekend.

Two- To explain to you why we are not allowed to have pets. EVER!

Part One- Kicked off with my encounter with the neighbor. Read about that here. Generally, my two oldest boys go to dads for the weekend and I enjoy a much needed break because by the time the weekend rolls around I am usually toast. Every now and again my kids will request to stay home. Well this has been the case for the past 3 weekends. I have obliged them and so again this weekend they begged to stay home. After much begging I gave in and let them stay. Then the begging began to have a sleepover with their two buddies. I gave in. Because of the delay at the neighbors I had to phone RA (resident asshole) to bring home dinner because now it was close to 9p and I had to take the friends to retrieve their belongings and apparently my kid needed some batteries for the video game remotes. 

My instructions to RA was "bring  lots of pizza FAST!" That call was placed at 830p. AT 930p no pizza. I called RA again to ask how much longer it would be and he said another 30minutes WTF! We  are dying over here.40 minutes later I called RA to find out how much longer. 

In this convo he told me he had  a surprise when he got there and I wouldn't be happy. What's new? Not being a big fan of surprises I pestered him until, quite proud of himself, he informed me he had picked up a stray puppy off the highway and was bringing him home. "HELL NO YOU AIN'T!"  I screamed said nicely. "Why not?" He stupidly asked.

Because "Motherfucker I already have 4 kids to contend with all by my lonesome and you wanna give me more responsibility! Hell No! And I cannot afford a dog! Those bastards are expensive.! And I do not want a dog! And the dog probably has fleas, ticks , worms god knows what else! And having a pet would have me in violation of my lease! And I hate barking! And I hate the smell of dog! And... well you get the point.

He replied by telling me I never appreciate anything. And if he wants to get his kids a pet he will. Period! Really? Did he just period me? Oh hell naw! Let me provide you with our pet history so you can understand why I feel this way.

Pet #1- Gerbil- died 10 days after we brought it home and spent $200 on a lavish cage, toys, feed etc.

Kid got depressed had to buy another.

Pet #2- Gerbil #2- Replacement Gerbil from Pet Smart since the first one they gave us died within the 14 day guarantee. 15 days and $80 dollars later this gerbil died. Kid got depressed and mom cried for two hours. This gerbil had a genetic disease that wasn't caught in time. Sad. sad. sad.

Pet#3- Bird- Lovely bird- About $200 and several months later I got pregnant and was not supposed to clean the cage. I asked RA to do it. He took the bird outside and hosed out the cage and bird! Bird Died. Angry mom, sad kids. RA took no responsibility for this. We didn't talk to him for a month almost.

Pet #4- Baby Duck- We found this duck just wandering in our front yard. Took ducky boy outside to run in the grass with kids and a fucking hawk swooped down and carried him away right before our eyes. Terrorized mom and kids. We were all fucked up behind this.

Pet #5- Baby Chipmunk recovered from RA's job site. 50 dollars and 2 days later, died. Who knows why? I suspected it committed suicide.

Pet #6- 4 Fish- Toddler decided to feed the fish herself and 3 died.

Pet #7- Hermit crab- Lived 4 years.. 

So now we think "we got this" and got ourselves a cat.

Pet #8 -KeKe the cat. Got from a lady outside my daycare with a box of kittens.  Turns out Kitty was flea infested, which led to fleas in the house. Also we could not afford to get the cat fixed but the jacked up cat pusher lovely kitty sales lady gave us a coupon for $20 spay/neuter treatment. Awesome! Problem is the coupon could not be honored for some BS reason and there were no funds for discounted treatment. Full price spay/neuter between $200-$300 dollars. Not in the budget at all. So after spending  about $500 dollars to unflea our home and cat and provide her with some necessities like a bed, toys, litter etc. She humped everything and everyone RA said she had to go. I put up a fight and was able to keep her an addition 6 months but I had a baby due soon and he was worried about the cat messing with the baby. I loved KeKe, when she wasn't humping things she was an evil bitch. She hissed and swiped at everything and everybody,(except me) She did not  like to bothered and she was perfect for me. But eventually it was bye-bye kitty. I was really sad about getting rid of KeKe. And very bitter so RA and I agreed no more pets period. We were not good pet owners apparently and if KeKe couldn't stay then no one could.

Because of the cat incident, due to other circumstances RA and I soon separated and he moved out. It was amazing how much cleaner my house was, and how long things like toilet paper, soap, and soda lasted. Life was good. Until Easter when RA came to visit his kids and decided a great Easter gift would be a box of ducks!!! WTF!!! I was LIVID.

Pet #9- Box of ducks- I was outraged, angry, pissed off infuriated. He did not ask me and we had agreed  no pets! And where the hell were these ducks gonna live indoors? He had already showed them to the kids and they of course were in love with all the ducks. I tried sending the ducks away with RA but the kids cried and cried. So the ducks won, but sadly they would lose soon. We had no proper duck facilities as most people do not. So for now in my kitchen of all places we had a fucking duck zoo!

I went out and spent $70 on heating lamps, a pool, feed, and chippings etc. That night my daughter came in my room at 2am (she was 2) to tell me "the duck was hurt"in her two year old way she explained that she had picked the duck up and the duck had pecked her on the nose, and it hurt so she dropped it and it wasn't moving. I got up horrified to what I might find. There in the pool/home lay a dead duckling. The other duck was going crazy, with fear I'm sure. My daughter was screaming "I'm sorry I'm sorry" my 8 year old was awaken by this he came out and realized what had happened and screamed at her "Malley you killed the duck! Murderer!" He was crying, she was crying. I was crying. I called RA and he seemed to think it was no big deal. We had the hugest fight. I mean Fuck dude! I have a dead duck, a sad crazy duck a screaming toddler an angry 8 year old and I am done!

I boxed up the surviving duck and headed to the spot "A tractor store" where RA had purchased them. I thought if I explained to these lovely duck people that I had researched and a duck was an extremely inappropriate gift for a 2 year old and we had killed one in 24 hours that they would take back this last duck and save his life. Nope They didn't want the duck back. When I asked the redneck farmer what to do with the duck he said "well I'd give er a couple months then cook er" GASP. I covered my children's ears and I gave him a piece of my mind. He told me that the other duck would die of being lonely "so either cook er or git er a buddy." The kids began to cry again. So I bought another???I know, I know but I was tired and desperate. Within a few days however I found a lovely farm to adopt all the lovely ducks. My kids hated me and I once again was the bad guy but the ducks were gone and safe both from ovens and 2 year olds.

I told RA if he ever brought home another living thing I would kill him.

Which brings me back to Friday night. He is on the way home with a puppy.

Stay tuned

My SleepLESS Night

Yesterday evening two of my kids were punished, one for getting a naughty note from school and the other just for being a smart ass. "Naughty Boy" had to do 30 minutes hard labor, 1 hour extra schoolwork and then straight to bed, no TV, no games.

"Smart-Ass" was sentenced to 2 hours of hard labor in the neighbors yard, and no TV, no games.

That's right biznitches...I don't play!

So that left the "good kids" and I with some free time. We decided to utilize that time by going for a walk through our neighborhood. Since "Naughty Boy" was already asleep, "Smart Ass" was exhausted from his laboring, and the two "good ones" were tired from our evening walk everyone went to bed early. I had a somewhat taxing week and really needed a good nights rest so I opened my bedroom window, cut the lights, and popped an OTC sleeping aid and called it a night around 930p.

We had a new neighbor move in yesterday, I live in a large duplex so we basically share a building separately but our yards are one. She has a dog apparently. Around 1030p I was awakened by a little dog barking under my window, sounded cute but not at 1030p.

Around 12a I was awken by RA (resident asshole) getting into bed.

At 2am I awoke from a nightmare that I had caught RA and Kim Kardashian getting in on. I awoke mad as hell. How dare he replace me with a better looking woman!

At 3am Princess was there at the foot of my bed crying because she had peed the bed. Again. So I got up cleaned her up then tucked her back into the bed with us.

Around 345am RA shouted out "Why is there damn water in the bed?"

Okay I thought this dude is crazy! I chalked it up to sleeptalking and went back to sleep. As I dozed off he said again "Roc, did you pour water in the bed?'

"Yes idiot I got up and had some late night water, couldn't finish it all, didn't feel like walking back to the kitchen so I poured it all over the bed." I did not feel anything. So again I just assumed he was dreaming.

About 10 minutes later he said again "what the hell is in the bed,? I'm gonna have to sleep somewhere else!"

"Where in Kim Kardashian's bed?" I snapped. Still obviously a little pissed at him for having boned Kim in my medicated induced sleep.

"What?"

"Nevermind!"

"I'm seriously getting on the couch"

'Whatever dude just get a move on so I can sleep already!"

I then felt him adjust the blankets, reposition and go back to sleep. Then I felt the "water".

What the hell! I looked at the clock...449am. Gotta get up in 40 minutes. By the time I change

the bedding it will be time to get up. And I was exhausted. Screw it I'll deal with the "water" after 530

515a. Neighboors dog again (bark, bark, bark, bark!)

525a Garbage truck outside (roar, crash, rumble, slam, beep, beep, beep)

530 alarm clock (beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep!)

FUCK!@!!!

By the way, Yes it was pee!