Busted- Skipping School Part 2

Let us resume where we left off shall we? And if you missed it then feel free to check out the beginning of the story by clicking here.
So the boys had skipped school, I busted them, and beat them, then gathered them up in their PJs and headed off  to the middle school. I make a big scene pulling up and then yanking open the sliding door. Marlon gets out and walks slowly into the school. When we arrive at the office the receptionist says "Oh you found him." I say "yes, he was at home. I want to check him in please." She informs me that because it is so late in the day he will be counted absent. I tell her "I don't care, check him in anyway." His eyes are red from crying. She asks him if he is okay. He does not respond. I inform her that he had received a spanking and was in huge trouble. I also informed her that if the school had any concerns and felt the need to contact any authorities due to my corporal punishment do so now and I will wait right here because I was going back to work and do not need the any further interruptions. 
I know it was bitchy but one time before my son had gotten suspended from school and we spanked him. His brother went to school and told the teacher his brother was not in school because he had gotten a spanking (which was not why he was not there by the way) but anyways the school called me and asked if I had indeed spanked my son. I informed them that I had and they told me it was illegal to hit my kid and if they heard that again they would be bound by law to report me. 
The receptionist looked at me and looked at him and then said "hmm you gotta do what you gotta do". I thanked her for her time and returned to my vehicle where my other son was waiting. 
We drove in silence to his school and as I got out of the vehicle he looked mortified. I walked with him into the school office and said that I wanted to check him in. The receptionist looked at his attire and then back at me as I waited for some comment. She kept looking at my son with concern. He stood there in silence. There were other students in the office so I'm sure that made it worse. She asked him if he was okay. I gave him the look. I then informed her that he had received a spanking and if she needed to report it or whatever do so now and I'll just wait. She seemed shocked. She asked me to wait a minute while she checked protocol. I mean seriously this was ridiculous. This kid is twice my size. She returned and then asked me if I wanted to speak with someone. I asked her "what for?" She said "well you seem upset." I said I was but did not need to talk to anyone. What I really needed was to be able to return to work and not to receive attitude when I call here to see if my son is in school. She said okay. And I was free to go. 
As I pulled out of the parking lot I receive a call from the high school. I immediately think  "great I am going to be arrested for spanking my giant son." I answer. The lady on the phone informs me that she just realized who I was and she wanted to let me know that earlier that day she had received a phone call from someone claiming to be the father of my son. He just wanted to inform the school that Michael was living with him and that my contact number should be deleted from the contact list and replaced with a new number which just happened to be my sons cell number. The school said they knew it was student because his voice cracked a couple times. And they had been planning to contact me about it. 
I was floored. I would never have thought in a million years that he would be that conniving. It appears I have entered into a new phase of parenting. One I dislike very much and one that will surely age me before my time.

Now that I know what a lil sly fox I am dealing with I am going to have to step up my game. Needless to say the punishments were bountiful and continuous. 
Question  If you have a teen have you experienced skipping?
And if not than did you skip school?

Busted- Skipping School Part 1

Lets go back a bit shall we? 
Remember this lil adventure?
Well I thought I nipped that skipping shit in the bud. My kids have always had a healthy fear of me and I have enjoyed that part. A lil slip on their end.... I swoop in and put my foot down and easy peasy all goes back to harmony at home. Well apparently the bigger your kids get the less scared they are of you. Let me explain,
So I am at work chilling, I mean working hard and decide to shoot Marlon's (13) teacher a lil email to follow up on some late assignments he had. She responded and at the end of her email she added "I hope he feels better." I thought that was an odd statement so I emailed back asking  "is he not feeling well?" She informs me that homeboy is not even at school today. I immediately call the middle school to confirm this and it is so. I then call my oldest sons high school where I am told by some idiot that she can only tell me at the end of the day if he was there or not. I explain that I suspect he is skipping. She informs me that I "will know for sure when I get the attendance call at 8pm". 8pm it is 11am! That is not reasonable. I am annoyed to say the least.
So I leave my job and head home. I park one street over and jog to my home (okay I walked fast) but that is neither here nor there. I did not want them to hear my car. I wanted to use the element of surprise. Just as I had been surprised to find they were not at school.
As I approached my home my adrenaline is going. I turn the key I hear "oh shit, someones here." Then I hear feet running. Idiot kids, where are they running to? I enter the home and yell "get out here now!"
I survey the scene. Oh Honey there are soda cans all over the table. (My kids are not allowed to drink soda much and there are several Mountain Dew cans on the table.) My sodas!!! Several of them! The TVS are on all the lights are on, and what's that smell?? No its not weed, it's something baking. Oh these fools are baking Christmas cookies! I scream again "get out here!" The two boys sheepishly appear in the hallway. They have on their Modern Warfare  PJ's and slippers. The heat is blowing at a tropical temperature and I am pissed. I immediately grab a belt and go to whopping some ass. Honestly I rarely ever spank my kids. Seriously. Especially these two because they are bigger than me and it doesn't hurt them really anymore so it is ineffective. But I was pissed. As I chase them through the house over the couch behind the entertainment center swinging my belt I land a few good hits. Unfortunately I also hit myself about 5 times with the buckle. I am hollering at them "oh so you guys don't think school is necessary? Dead beats!" etc. After the beat down I tell them to get their back packs. I busy myself with a pair of scissors cutting the cable connection to their room. I load up all the Xboxes, IPods, TVs etc into my van. I am furious. I observe my son picking out some school clothes. I say to him "No, You are going like that." "I can't go to school in my PJ'S" he says "Oh yes you will! And you would not have to had to had you kept the clothes on you had this morning when you pretended to go to school!" They look at each other like she is crazy. I inform them that Yes, Yes I am indeed crazy. And I tell them to get in the van and I mean now. 
I head of fin the direction of the school. Wanna know what happened at school? Stay Tuned. That post is coming soon.

I'm Still Here

It's been over two months! I have had blogger withdrawal. This blog is my sanity point. It serves as my virtual journal, and is cheaper than therapy. I cannot tell you the amount of times lately that something goes down in my day and I think "Oh god I need to blog this". But time,,time,,time where does it go? So much has changed in the past few months. Some for the good some for the bad and some just change period. Don't give up on me blog followers, for my new years resolution is to resume blogging. So I will start today writing posts about what has been happening and hopefully nothing will mess up my blogging time and I will be able to consistently blog again. So I am still here. I am still alive and kicking and as always I have jaw dropping tales to tell. Stay tuned. WELCOME 2012!

Dealing With A Drunk, Sooo 2010.

I tried to avoid it. But as I am catching up on my blog reading I notice EVERYONE did a Halloween Post. So In the interest of following the crowd, I will too. I attended a party with my coworker/friend, her husband and David. We decided to dress as a theme together. First bet was the cast of the Jersey Shore but then decided to be gangstas and flappers from the 50's. Here is what they look like. Just so ya know.

Here is how we did it...

Whatcha Think? 
My job was having a kids party so I took the lil ones there and we headed over to the adult party. Last year David drove so he was not allowed to drink at all. This year I had a designated driver so he could drink. I made it clear to him that this party is my night. I mean if you've been following me you know that David has had his share of fun nights out over the past couple years. Me, I never go anywhere kid free. So this is my one time a year to let loose and have a few. Here is the problem. David also felt the need to let loose. He drank and drank and drank. Aftershock, Vodka, Tequila, Beer, Wine. everything! In the beginning we were both having a few drinks but then one of us, Ahem. decided to really have good time. He was on his best behavior at the party. But literally within 20 minutes of our exit it all went to hell in a handbasket. There was a drinking game at the party see..... 

Drinking games are  basically a way to binge drink. I played too but I cheated like hell. I  pretended to take shots. tehehehehe See we had to pick our kids up and although we did not have to drive, someone had to be of the conscience and sober mind to get them settled to bed. And once I saw party boy downing shot after shot, I sadly realized that someone would be me. Luckily he held it together at the party but soon as we left all that alcohol must have registered because David was SUPER ANNOYING! When you are sober nothing is worse than a drunk. Oh good lord he went from telling me that "I was not his mother" Which by the way, I pretty much am.... to telling me how much he loved me and appreciated me. It was 30 minutes of bitching about me to 30 minutes of praising me. He even felt the need to rehash his apologies for his behavior while we were separated. We had already put that baby to bed in July. I did not need the drunk verison. Uggh. And he would not shut up! Hour after hour. The worst part is he felt the need to be very close while he poured out his drunken heart. Like right up in my face close. So close the alcohol burned my eyes. Eventually he passed out. But the next day my bedroom reeked of alcohol. I  had to strip the linens, Febreeze the curtains etc. So I had an alright time but it would be nice to be the careless one sometime and not have to babysit him. Maybe next year. On the upside I got some great FB pics. But have you ever had to babysit a drunk? Oh god it is so annoying! I was supposed to be the one all toasty and shit but....

Just a lil Suspect.....

As I arrive home last Monday afternoon I notice Marlon (teenage son) is cutting the grass. Hmmm That's odd. Because A- he never cuts the grass and B- the grass had just been cut two days prior. I immediately roll down my window and ask "what are you doing?" He responds "cutting the grass." "Yeah, but why?" I ask. "Just wanna" he says. My mommy BS sensor is on high alert. I circle the driveway and as I pull into the other side to park I notice Michael (other teenage son) washing windows. Okay, something has definitely gone down. I ask him "why are you doing that?" He smiles and says because "we love you mom." Yeah. Something is definitely up. I remove my keys from the ignition and step out of my van. I approach him head on. "What did you guys do?" I ask. He has a look of guilt. "Nothing" he says. "Then why the hell are you guys out here doing yard work?" I ask suspiciously. "Oh we just wanna make the yard look nice." Bullshit. "Did you break something?" I ask "No" he says. "Did you get in trouble at school?" nope he replies. "Was someone in my house while I was at work?" "No Mom, we just wanna help you out." Hmmm I ain't buying it.

I unlock the door and step inside and my house is spotless. I mean don't get me wrong I got pretty decent kids and it is their responsibilty to have the house clean before I arrive home but this...well this is different. Floors have been mopped. laundry has been done. No something is definitely up. I search around to see what have they broken. I think immediatey of my newest prized possession, a wax burner. I run to the living room, expecting to see it smashed or something. Nope. It's not smashed. Oh I l know, they probably cracked it and glued it back together. We've all done that right? I pick it up and inspect it. Nope no wax burner damage. I go outside to drill the younger one. He always tells. I approach him. He is in a cold sweat cutting grass with such a passion. I signal for him to cut the mower off. He does. I hit him with all the questions I hit his brother with. He says "mom I can't talk right now, I gotta get this grass cut before it gets dark." And he cranks the mower and moves on, never quite making eye contact with me. 

Puzzled I go back into my house. I search everything, everywhere. I find nothing. I go back outside and get both boys and say "I know you did something and it must be bad, so spill it." The youngest looks at the oldest like Oh shit she knows. The oldest plays it cool. "God mom can't we just be helpful?" "Yes" I reply "helpful taking out the trash, straightening up, but this is not helpful this is suspect." So much work had been done. They would have had to have worked from the minute school let out until now to complete it all. I try a few more ways to get the info out. But they are not budging. I go back inside but watch them from the kitchen window as they have an impromptu meeting. I am assuming to get their story straight. They are breaking I think. The little one looks worried. The oldest, cool as a cucumber. As I prepare various torture treatments in an effort to get the info I so need, I keep a watchful eye on them. Still working. I get the water boarding materials together, hot sauce, check the cellar in which they will be locked until they confess and check my interrogator face in the mirror. And then out I go to do battle. These boys will not get away with whatever they have done. I am determined. 

I approach them again and I say "you know I know you did something and its bad." They just stare at me straight faced. "I know. I may not know what, but I will not rest until I find out." I warn them. I give them my scariest face. The little one looks at the big one like I'ma tell The oldest looks back at him like tell and die. I walk off and around the corner where I can sneak up on them on the other side and eavesdrop. Marlon says "dude she knows she knows." Panic is imminent in his voice. Michael replies "oh come on, that's just her way of tricking us. Stay strong man don't be a snitch. She doesn't know"  "No man I can tell she knows" Marlon is truly worried.  "She knows nothing!" Michael snaps at him "Now stick to the plan, and don't let her shake you up!" Oh so they have a plan? Ha well I have a plan too. I gotta get the lil one away from the big one so I can break him. Divide and Conquer. I ask Marlon  to pull the trash cans around. When he does I am waiting for him in the backyard. "Spill it kid!" I say. "I uh, oh, mom, Um. Okay." He stammers. Just then the oldest comes running around. He has figured out what I am up to! "Hey Marlon, come here dude I gotta show you something" "No! thats it!" I yell "Tell it!" "Promise you wont be mad?" Marlon asks. "Hell no I don't promise. Fess up!" "But I don't wanna get in trouble" he whines. He is clearly scared. "Oh it will be much worse if I hear about it somewhere by someone else. If you tell me it will be less severe." "Let's just tell her Michael" he says pleading with his brother. "Tell her what man?" the oldest says "there is nothing to tell!" I keep my eyes on Marlon, never breaking away, he can feel the pressure. "Okay! okay" he yells. "We skipped school!" BINGO!

Then silence. I say simply "okay" and turn and walk into the house. Not another word. They laid low for the next hour. Fast forward to dinner. "So are we in trouble?" asks Marlon? "Yup" I say. "But we worked hard all day isn't that punishment enough?" he asks. "Nope" I say. Well what is the punishment?" he asks. "Oh it will fit the crime" I say. "Are we getting a spanking?" (this is funny b/c Marlon has had two spankings in his lifetime)  Marlon informs me "Michael said if we got caught he would take double punishment because it was his idea." Michael pipes up "yeah if we got caught, not if you fold!" "Duh dumb boys did you not know that the school calls me when you are not there?" I remind them. "Yeah, but we were gonna try to ask to use your phone around that time and intercept the call" Marlon further confesses.

I grounded them for a week. Took away two weeks of allowance, and then I called the school and ratted them out. That last part I kept to myself. I waited two days to do it so that just when they thought they were clear BAMM! More punishment. Three days later they come home from school and both boys are pissed. Micheal says "Mom did you tell the school I skipped?" "Sure did" I say. "Why that was between us!" he says as if I owed him some alliance. "Oh because it is illegal to skip school not to mention immoral." I inform him. "Well you already punished us and now we are getting punished at school too!" "Good" I say and smile. The school informed me since they never made it to campus that day they actually could not do anything. But I used my clout with an administrator and he had the school resource officer show up and meet with him and the boys in his office to shake them up. 

And, for now at least, there will be no skipping for a while. 

When Nicotine Makes You Drop Your Morals (war of the neighbors final part)

This is the end of the Neighbor war...until the next one. If you wondered how the war started you can click it and find out. Or if you are curious how the whole racism thing played out you can read part two. But when I left off, the neighbor and I had just had a bit of a nasty exchange over the phone when I had to go. Although things got yucky, I am the type of person who can dish it, take it, then move on. Which is what I expected to happen. I figured I would not go to the party to keep the neighbors emotions in check. I did want to go but I did not need any additional drama. 
David and I discussed it, he is closer to them than I and he really wanted to go but again we decided to just lay low. Around 6:30p the neighbors son came and knocked at the door. I invited him in and he said "my mom and dad want to know if you guys are coming or not because there is plenty food and celebration." I made up some excuse and told him that my daughter had a bit of a cold so her being out at night was not good. He looked sad and left. I felt bad. I felt mad that I allowed the lady next door to influence me in such a way. I just honesty did not want to be in the drama. Two hours later a relative of the family that knows David came by and again asked if he was coming over. David told him he would not be attending because he had lots to do around the house and that was that. We both sat there felling bad about it.
The next day I did not hear or see the neighbor which is extremely odd. Neither did I the next day. Her blinds stayed closed all day. I was enjoying the peace but knew for sure when two days passed she was pissed. Which pissed me off. If I knew she was gonna act stank anyway I would have went. I also knew she was mad because she is on a fixed income but she smokes and from the 15th thru the 3rd (when she receives her check) I am her tobacco provider (another post all in itself) And I could imagine she was having quite the nicotine withdrawals. So for her not to call or come by to borrow some cigarettes told me she was pissed. On the third day I saw her on the side of my home walking her dog. Me and my two oldest kids were headed out to the grocery store. Usually if she is outside and sees us she beelines it to where we are then holds us hostage with her griping for an hour or so. She saw us come out and made no moves?? 
Maybe she feels bad about things now that she has had time to reflect so as I pulled out of my driveway I smiled and waved just to let her know we were cool. When I did that I swear she seemed to roll her eyes and turn her back to me! I was shocked! I then thought oh Roc, maybe you're imagining the eye rolling surely she is not that crazy. But when my oldest said "what is wrong with Jane why did she just roll her eyes like that at you?" I knew I was not crazy. If she is pissed at me than so be it. Let the war on this side begin! Thursday nothing from her again. Quiet as a mouse over there. Friday I pull up and she is outside walking her dog. Since she obviously has an issue with me  I did not wave or say hello I went in to get my jacket and was headed back out to get in the car to leave and she came over and said coldly "hello" I icily said back "Well hello. I thought you were mad at me?" Shit lets call it out and deal with it because I did not have time for her shit. She then says "No I thought you were mad at me. I've been worried sick that you were upset." She puts her head down in her miserable-sympathy- evoking fashion. Always the victim. Oh no I thought. You are not getting away with it that easily. I then said to her "if you were not mad then why did you roll your eyes at me?" (don't BS me lady) She said "oh I did not roll my eyes." "Oh you sure did." I retorted "even my kids noticed." She said "well if I did  it was not intentional. I've just been so busy deciding if I was gonna move or stay" she says. More BS. She's been threatening to move since she got here. She wants us to beg her to stay. "Well you obviously had a problem I say because when I waved you did not wave back, so if you did not roll your eyes, you definitely threw some attitude at me." She stammered around for an excuse for her behavior then said "oh no I knew you were in a hurry and I did not want to keep you." BULLSHIT!!!! Because, She has never cared if I was in a hurry or not! Never! Not once! Even when I have said I am in a hurry she will go on and on. Uggh. 
So I said "oh well a wave is not a time sucker it's just a wave." I kept at it because I  wanted her to admit she was mad so we could hash it out. She tried changing the subject and it took a mere minute before she said "well I have been without smokes for days. Could I borrow a couple?" Aha! I knew it! If she was not mad she would have been over asking for cigarettes! She then told me how she tried to make it without them but is having such withdrawals her head is pounding and she just can't go any longer without one. Further proof she was pissed. Remember this lil statement she made to me? "well You're better than me! I suppose you can just drop your morals and turn a blind eye to what's going on around here in the interest of good food!"  It was really hard to not point out that she was dropping her morals for a smoke. I wondered then if I did not have something she so desperately needed would she have even spoke? Doubtful. 
Anyways. Since that night we have started talking again, barely, but I have a whole new feeling about her. She has always annoyed me but I felt that she was helpless and needed my help. Now? Not so much. Now I feel that she will turn on you in a second should you not agree with her. Well lady you have met your match because although I gave up what I felt I should do to prevent her feelings I am done with that. And we have entered a new realm of reality she and I. 

War of the Neighbors Part 2....Calling It What It Is.

The Neighbor War started here in case you missed it.
Okay let's pick up on the story. The next day was Saturday...Party Day! I got up early and headed out to run some errands. Although completely irritated by the drama, I did feel bad for the neighbor (white lady) because she is an emotional wreck and I appear to be one of her two treasured friends. So I braced myself and gave her a call. I asked her how she was feeling and she said "oh I'm fine. I'm just keeping an eye on those people." She asked me if I planned on attending the "murderous festivities" next door. I simply said I was not invited. This is when she informs me that I was invited and apparently she was too. She tells me that an hour before the whole pig slaying event she was out walking her dog when she was approached by the Mexican woman next door. She said the woman approached her asked if she liked good food and the neighbor, hell we need to name her, so we'll call her Jane. Jane said yes I do and then the Mexican lady, we'll call her Judy, said "we are having a party to celebrate my baby's baptism and everyone is invited. Would you please consider coming by?" Then Jane tells me she responded by saying "if I can. And then I even reached out and shook her Mexican hand." That comment "Mexican hand" really pissed me off. Jane tells me that Judy left an invitation on my door which Jane removed once the fighting began because she knew "I would want no parts of their fiesta". Again I am getting more angry. She removed an invitation from my door?! That would be getting addressed very soon.
Since I was not home I ask Jane "are there many people there?" She said "oh its been up and down I have counted 11 different vehicles coming and going." I asked her "well is it loud?"  I was tryna gauge what I was in for when I got back to my home. She said yes. (I called David after and he said he heard nothing) She then tells me that she had placed a call to our property owner and he came over and the both of them, Jane and the property owner, stood on Jane's porch and glared at them to "send the message that they were being watched". Again this comment and behavior annoyed me.
She told me that the Mexicans came over and brought the property owner a plate and invited him also. He spit in the food and threw it away. Jane thought that was hilarious. I was outraged! My blood was boiling and I just did not know how much more I could stand without voicing my true thoughts. Torn between being cordial with the neighbors and not totally alienating Jane which would lead  to having to deal with another breakdown of hers I said "well if they send me a plate I'm definitely eating it." There was silence on her end and finally she asked "you are?"  "Well, yes I am" I say. Her voice turned venomous and she asked "so do you plan on attending this lil fiesta?" "You know I'd really like to stop by as a courtesy, my kids do play with their kids and I did see a bouncy house on their lawn when I left. Not to mention I love me some Mexican food." She then said "well You're better than me! I suppose you can just drop your morals and turn a blind eye to what's going on around here in the interest of good food!"
Trying to throw a bit of humor in it because I could feel it coming on I said "yup you know I'll do anything for food, hell I'd trade one of my kids for the right meal" I started to laugh. I notice she is not laughing. She says "well I'd be careful who I hang out with because  the first sign of noise or anything at all I'm calling the cops and unless you wanna be there when they get there I would not go." Is that a threat? Hmmm I say as I ponder that. I have no reason to be concerned about the presence of police.. Then comes the voice cracking on her end and shes says "oh Roc, if you go then they will think I am just some crazy lady down here starting stuff." Well ain't ya? Jane then begins to choke up as she says "I thought you were against what happened here." "I am" I explain, "but because I do not agree with a specific thing a person does doesn't mean I am better then them." "Well I for one have a moral fiber?" she retorts. Hmmmm sounded like she was saying I did not. Having enough now I responded with "I for one, am not a racist!" Jane  yells "I am not a racist!" "Oh but you are" I say. Just admit it!" "No I'm not!"she yells again. "Listen just be honest. I can accept you for who you are, but you need to be honest with who you are and you are a racist!" "I was invited to that party" she says angrily and as a matter of fact I even shook her Mexican hand!"  I paused wondering if she had any clue what she sounded like then said "case in point "her Mexican hand" Racist." "Okay okay maybe I am!" she yells. "I have had many experiences with non Americans and they have not been pleasant. Then she begins to explain that her parents were racists..shocker there right? But seriously at 50 you should have formed your own opinions. My mother was a racist too but I knew at 7 years old that was wrong and I was not one. She then says "my father fought in the war and to his death bed hated Germans and Koreans." I said "look I get that your generation can be that way but I am from a different time and my world is not that way. Neither do I want to be around it. You are entitled to your opinions and views but I do not share them and prefer to not deal with them." Just then I had another call beep in so I told her I would talk to her later and that was that.