Monday, January 16, 2012

Busted- Skipping School Part 1

Lets go back a bit shall we? 
Remember this lil adventure?
Well I thought I nipped that skipping shit in the bud. My kids have always had a healthy fear of me and I have enjoyed that part. A lil slip on their end.... I swoop in and put my foot down and easy peasy all goes back to harmony at home. Well apparently the bigger your kids get the less scared they are of you. Let me explain,
So I am at work chilling, I mean working hard and decide to shoot Marlon's (13) teacher a lil email to follow up on some late assignments he had. She responded and at the end of her email she added "I hope he feels better." I thought that was an odd statement so I emailed back asking  "is he not feeling well?" She informs me that homeboy is not even at school today. I immediately call the middle school to confirm this and it is so. I then call my oldest sons high school where I am told by some idiot that she can only tell me at the end of the day if he was there or not. I explain that I suspect he is skipping. She informs me that I "will know for sure when I get the attendance call at 8pm". 8pm it is 11am! That is not reasonable. I am annoyed to say the least.
So I leave my job and head home. I park one street over and jog to my home (okay I walked fast) but that is neither here nor there. I did not want them to hear my car. I wanted to use the element of surprise. Just as I had been surprised to find they were not at school.
As I approached my home my adrenaline is going. I turn the key I hear "oh shit, someones here." Then I hear feet running. Idiot kids, where are they running to? I enter the home and yell "get out here now!"
I survey the scene. Oh Honey there are soda cans all over the table. (My kids are not allowed to drink soda much and there are several Mountain Dew cans on the table.) My sodas!!! Several of them! The TVS are on all the lights are on, and what's that smell?? No its not weed, it's something baking. Oh these fools are baking Christmas cookies! I scream again "get out here!" The two boys sheepishly appear in the hallway. They have on their Modern Warfare  PJ's and slippers. The heat is blowing at a tropical temperature and I am pissed. I immediately grab a belt and go to whopping some ass. Honestly I rarely ever spank my kids. Seriously. Especially these two because they are bigger than me and it doesn't hurt them really anymore so it is ineffective. But I was pissed. As I chase them through the house over the couch behind the entertainment center swinging my belt I land a few good hits. Unfortunately I also hit myself about 5 times with the buckle. I am hollering at them "oh so you guys don't think school is necessary? Dead beats!" etc. After the beat down I tell them to get their back packs. I busy myself with a pair of scissors cutting the cable connection to their room. I load up all the Xboxes, IPods, TVs etc into my van. I am furious. I observe my son picking out some school clothes. I say to him "No, You are going like that." "I can't go to school in my PJ'S" he says "Oh yes you will! And you would not have to had to had you kept the clothes on you had this morning when you pretended to go to school!" They look at each other like she is crazy. I inform them that Yes, Yes I am indeed crazy. And I tell them to get in the van and I mean now. 
I head of fin the direction of the school. Wanna know what happened at school? Stay Tuned. That post is coming soon.


  1. Can't wait to hear the rest of the story!

  2. I can't believe the high school couldn't check since you suspected.

  3. They are lucky you didnt put them over the end of the couch and drop them PJ's to the floor and whip some bare skin. Thats how my mama would have done it. But sending them to school in PJ's was a great deterrent. How old was your oldest son?