Happy Birthday Mason

Recent pic from the zoo

10 years ago in this very day I had my LAST son,  Mason. By all accounts Mason is a sweetheart. He is adorable and talented, kindhearted and sensitive. He is so much like his dad. That fact often causes rifts between Mason and I but I love him endlessly. Mason can sing. Mason can dance. Mason makes friends easily and has a way with the ladies. Mason is regretfully the child that I am least close to, so in addition to whatever birthday surprises I conjure up for him his true present will be that this year I secretly vow to be more patient and understanding and loving towards Mason. For he is an awesome kid and my life would not be the same without him.

Birthing In Raquel's World

In preparation for my youngest son's birthday post coming on the 25th. I decided to share the story of his birth. 
I'm at home. Just finished up a heated session if you know what I mean. I stand to go wash up and pee. I pee but continue to pee then I get that my water has broken. Yahoo! "Time to go" I say. See I'm a pro at this. I have done it two times prior and one of those times was a complete disaster so this could only be a piece of cake. I tell David "baby's on the way" and hop into the shower. I shower up quickly grab my bags and call my hospital to let them know I'm on the way. We drive 25 minutes to the hospital. I have no pain but I do have contractions?  Smiling I think no pain, I got this in the bag baby!
When we arrive at triage they check me in and do an initial exam. Still contracting, still no pain. Still smiling. I have an exam and here is some excerpts from the conversation that followed
Nurse 1
Nurse 2
Me
 Umm you're not gonna push are you?
Hadn't planned on it. Still smiling.
Oh because you are dilated and ready to go.
"Good" I say, ready to get on with things
No not good. There is no one to deliver your baby
Umm silly nurse calm down we are in a hospital
It's my first week and we have had tons of women go into labor early! There are no doctors! They are all delivering!
A lil put off, but not worried yet. That's cool you can deliver my lil pumpkin
No I really cannot. She starts to panic.I hear her go into the hallway and discuss with another nurse that OMG this lady is in labor and there is no one to deliver
Where is Dr. Sanders?
Delivering in room 204 and 2081!!!
Dr Angles? 
C section!
Dr Martin?
Emergency C section!!!
How about the assisting Dr Socket?
Well a lady went into labor in the elevator, he's helping her
You will just have to do it then
No I can't
We'll help. Let me check the patient
Nurse #2 comes in, introduces herself and smiles nicely as if I had heard nothing. She lifts the cloth and takes a peep at my nether regions.
OMG she's ready! Get her in a room.
There are no rooms!
No rooms?
They are all full!
What about the overflow rooms?
Full
Well we'll do it here then
I'm still not hurting, but no longer smiling.
Actually crying now "umm can I get an epidural?"
No your too far along
How about some Demerol?
No nothing it's time to push
Time to push? WTF? I just got here! Don't I need an IV, a bed, some ice chips, some pain? Something!!?
No time. She's putting me up in the stirrups
I'm frantically crying now. Yelling at David They have no clue what they are doing!
Where's the cart with all the medical supplies? The big light to shine on my vagina?
We don't have time for all that. Now Push!
I did and and did, did and did and it hurt like hell. But he came out bright-eyed and bushy tailed and healthy. 
It was fast and furious.
Scary and painful.
In spite of their less than desirable delivery tactics we made it. 

His name is Mason. He will be 10 on Friday.

Oh The Innocence

So Marlon whom I have written about before here and here. is not very responsible. Therefore he does not get anything of much value. When he has, he has lost it within days. Days! Anyhoo, I got him a basic cellphone when he entered middle school and he lost it within days. I replaced it, days later it was gone again. So he remained without a phone for the remainder of the year until this happened. Then I got him a piece of crap cell phone at Christmas and told him if he still had it by his birthday (April 16th) We would upgrade. 
Yesterday he was with dad and stepmom when I received a call from him asking if I would go in with them and buy him a new phone. It would be for his Bday. After obtaining all the necessary info I agreed. His last two phones had no internet and no texting. This one had the works, slider, touch screen, unlimited web, unlimited text and a very reasonable calling plan. So although it is Mason's Bday week.... what was easier than handing dad my share of the cost and not having to worry about Marlon's upcoming Bday? Keep in mind my sweet pea is turning 13 next month. So he is so excited to be able to text. Here are direct texts from him to me. 


Immediately after activating his phone
"Mom, I just got my new phone we are on the way home"
"Here is my new number 434-00**"- Apparently he doesn't know that the number shows up when he calls/texts me. Oh the innocence. Lol
"30 minutes away"
"you owe dad $58 for your part of my phone"
"20 minutes away"
"5 minutes away"
"here is a pic of my sister" He had snapped and sent me a photo of them in the van 
Two hours later he is in bed "I love you mom, goodnight"
"thanks again for the phone"
"good night"


Here is our exchange this morning My responses are in blue.
"good morning Mom are you having a nice day yet"- 
I actually am, my car sounds good. You be good at school and put your phone away so  it doesn't get taken away
"No can do mom, SIKE, Just kidding" (does anyone remember SIKE?) 
"I can't, it's too cool" 
Put your phone away now
"that is cruel"
I will make  you leave it home tomorrow


About 11am. 
"you having a good day mom?" 
yes
" I hope you are"
I am. Now put that phone away!
"Okay, dang you are so harsh"
I love you and do not want you to get in trouble
"Can I hang out after school at the park with my friends, I'll clean your whole house really neat and good' 
 Fine. Answer my calls and be where you say you'll be
"Ok Mom I love you"  
love you too
 "I really do"  
put your phone away!

Bullied Kid, My New Hero

So I have a new hero this morning. Bullying is an annoyance to me just as much as other parent. I am fed up and not long ago supported a parent that handled his biz when his special needs daughter was bullied. You can view that video in this post. So When I saw this video I cheered loudly. My only wish is that Casey continued to slam the people that were standing around laughing while he was getting punched in the face. My favorite part is when after Casey slams that lil bastard another bigger kid steps up to Casey like he's gonna do something but he does nadda! That's right.He learned from the first boy not to mess with Casey.

Casey Hines it has appeared has been bullied for his weight issues most of his life. And in this video it is crystal clear that he was being bullied. The size of the bully does not matter because I think you should never write a check with your mouth that your ass cannot cash. And that lil jerk that was bullying Casey got exactly what he should have gotten. I LOVE CASEY! You can feel that he is a nonviolent boy as the video shows him being taunted and hit in the face. He just stands there with his back against the wall literally and takes it. Until finally enough is enough. I am so proud of him for standing up for himself. And even after he slams the bully he just walks off and leaves the situation. Before you get all anti-violence on me let me just say I am anti-violence, well, kinda. However how many times do you put up with that kinda abuse before you fight back? I'm sure Casey has talked to someone about this before and as the video shows no one helped him. So you go Casey! You freaking Rock!

Down side to this victory is that Casey got suspended too. I understand that schools often do not know who or how the fight started so often the most neutral thing they can do is suspend both people involved in a fight. However, this video clearly shows that he was just defending himself. That school better be glad I'm not his parent..... cause boy I would fight that suspension. If you (the school) are not going to protect my child, and it is illegal for me to do so, then you damn well better not punish him for protecting himself!

So view the video, share your thoughts and most importantly do you think Casey should have been suspended?

15 Things I Must Clear Up With My Children

1 Marlon- If every teacher hates you, then uh buddy, the problem is you; not all 20 teachers you have had.


2 Michael and Marlon- When you tell me "you'll do it later" I know that means you have no plans to do it at all. In the amount of time you spend negotiating doing it later you could have had it done already!


3 Michael- Nothing. And I mean Nothing is yours. Nothing. You have no job and the last time I checked you were not receiving any financial aid so ummm if you have it, chances are I bought it. Even if I did not buy it is still mine because you are a child, I am a parent, and that's just the way it is. And umm this goes double for "your" bedroom. I do not need to knock to come in. I pay for that bedroom, furnish it and even help clean it. Actually you should have to knock to come out.


4 MalloryJane- Where did you get this silly idea that "if it's mine then it's yours too?" My lipstick, my gum, my pillow etc. Just because we are the only girls around there does not mean that we share everything. I mean seriously when is the last time I borrowed your plastic purple heels?


5 Mason- It can't be someone else's fault every time. It just can't. Not every time. No way. Impossible. What are the odds that you are perfect and the rest of us suck? Slim. So ,man up and take responsibility


6 Mason- If you take less than 5 minutes to do homework,,,hello I am gonna check it for accuracy because I know that means you just wrote some ish down.


7 Marlon- Dinner is dinner and that is it. I consider many things when preparing and planning meals. Costs, nutritional value, time allowances, What Marlon likes is not one of them. So seriously if you approach my table one more time and say "mom you know I hate ham" like that is even relevant you won't eat for days.


8 MalloryJane- Your daddy has other children. Despite your fairytale world you live in you are not his only child. Therefore he can talk to Mason or David or Violet  and you can just clam down about it and not take it so personally.


9 Mason- just because every other 9 year old has a cell phone does not make me a bad mom for not getting you one. It makes me smart.


10 Michael- Can you just find some friends your own damn age? Stop playing football with 3rd graders and getting pissed because they get injured . Duh?


11 MalloryJane- Your dad is actually my man. He is not your husband or boyfriend. I should not have to sit on the other couch because "you and daddy are on this one". And if you suggest I "go sleep in the princess bed" so you and daddy can have my bed one more time well...


12 Marlon- There are other beverages besides Kool Aid you should try some.


13 Michael- Just because you were the first one to play any given song out loud in the home does not make it your song. So stop telling Mason to stop singing your song. You did not write it homeboy.


14 Michael- Just because you are getting an A in a class does not mean that you really don't need to be on time to it, nor does it mean you should jump to honors. 


15 Mason- Just because you can put deodorant on it doesn't mean you can skip washing it. I'm just saying.


Feel free to clear up something with your child here. I'm sure they don't follow my blog.
Well, except you Sue

My Top Ten PIss-Me- Off-ers

Since I'm low on material this week, I thought I'd share my top ten Piss Me Off-ers! Two of them I have written about before so click the links if you'd like. Enjoy!

1- The moms who look like a million bucks at preschool but yet haven't found time to bathe their kid all week.


2-People that do not say thank you when you hold open the door for them.


3- Parents who dose their sick and fevered kid up with Tylenol then drop them off at the play center or school so they can go to brunch. Yeah, because brunch is way more important than your baby!


4- Parents that push organic and healthy options but then microwave the food. Hello?


5- People that tell me how broke they are that they can't pay their light bill then ask me to hold on while the Ruby Tuesday waitress takes their order.


6- People who let their trash blow onto your lawn and then act like they don't notice the gigantic taco box on my grass.

7- People who slaughter their own dinner just for sport


8- People who are always bitching about money but take time off every week.


9- When someone thinks that limiting the use of driving their Hummer due to the cost of gas, compares with the daily struggle of affording food for your family. They had to drive the Escalade instead. Boo. Hoo


10- And last but definitely the most annoying to me is people that post Biblical scriptures on facebook and if you scroll down their photo album is full of scantly clad pics of them getting smashed. Or you know them to to be huge sinners.

What's your number one Piss You Off-er?

The Slaughterhouse Next Door

I have spoken of my Mexican neighbors before. Last time someone got all offended so this time I may say some ish that is offensive. But I'm mad as hell and I do not care. If that was you anonymous offender just x outta here now. I'll wait. Okay coast clear? Let's go dammit.
This weekend my Mexican neighbors had a siesta, fiesta what-the-fuck-ever they had. It started at 9am Saturday and lasted until 10pm Sunday. There were dozens of cars parked all around, that lovely carnival music, and 112 kids. Luckily we missed out in the main party that took place on Saturday because we were at the zoo. However when we returned Saturday night around 930p they did solicit David to come join in the fun. All the men were outside getting TRASHED and the women folk were indoors. David politely declined, probably just because he was exhausted because man that boy loves a party. The Neighbor, lets call him Fernandez told David they were celebrating the baby sons b-day. He is 5. So I'm sure he enjoyed the alcohol, smokes, and stumbling drunks. Anyways, no harm, no foul. I was too exhausted to be bothered by the noise. 
The next morning it started all again. The weather was beautiful so my kids were out hanging with all the visiting kids next door. It was nice for them to have some friends to hang with. David was out doing yard work and I was in the kitchen with the windows open so we had a good grasp on what was going on. I realized I needed an ingredient for the meal I was preparing so I ran out to the Food lion to pick that up. Meanwhile the kids continued playing and David continued working. I did however bring in the 3 year old and had my oldest son watch her indoors while I was away. Just felt more comfortable that way. Turns out that was a super wise choice. 


 Upon my return my son informed me that something terrible had happened while I was away. He told me that the neighbors had arrived home with a pig on the back of their truck. Oh a pig how sweet I thought. If you can recall a while ago they had chickens running wild on the lawn. But the raccoons and cats killed them all so now they got a pig? My thoughts immediately went  to the story Charlotte's Web and my heart warmed. Then My son told me this: 
"so they got the pig off the truck and tied it to a tree. Everyone gathered around the pig and the pig was freaking out and squealing. Then one dude took out a hammer and hit the pig in the head. (gasp, WTH) then the pig started screaming and mom it sounded awful. The pig ran around and around the tree while the guys chased it laughing. (what kinda sick bastards are living next door) Then the dude pulled out a machade and sliced the pigs throat. (Omg I hope this is not true) the pig was crying and blood poured out everywhere. One lady that was holding a baby got blood on her feet. Then they repeated stabbed the pig until it died." I looked up how pigs are generally slaughtered and you can read it here. While it is not pretty, It still seems fucked up to me to do in the front yard! 
I was trembling with rage, and pain for the pig. Yes, I eat pork but something was so wrong about this. He told me he saw all this through the kitchen window. I immediately called my other two boys in and they confirmed the story. I was horrified, pissed and  upset. I immediately thought of the 112 kids running around out there and asked my boys about that and they said the parents had all the kids go inside when they did it. I asked my boys did they go inside? They said no we watched. That really infuriated me! I asked my kids how they felt about seeing that and told them how I felt about it. I was gonna head on over and show my ass but I thought about all the kids outside and the fact that there were 20 or so adults over there and apparently they have weapons that they are not shy about using. Not to mention they had been drinking so maybe this was not the time. 
 Let me say I know that animals are killed everyday for food. And I eat them. I have never been a fan of hunted prey and cannot imagine slaughtering a live pig in the front yard of a city street. Who the hell does that? Why would you do that? Cheaper? Come on there is 20+ adults over there can't everyone just chip in and buy already prepared food? I am angry, hurt, concerned. I mean Spring hasn't even started. Is this what the neighbors cookouts will entail? Hell no I am not putting up with that! How heartless must one be to do that? And we are not in some damned third world country where we must kill our own food! I am so angry about this and the fact that they did not even tell my kids to go home before they did it makes it 100 times worse! I had no clue that this would have gone on. I am planning action to see it doesn't happen again. But I cannot get the thought of that pig outta my mind. Or the impending feud I'm getting ready to have with these people. I am not letting it go. What's next a fucking cow? A turkey shoot? I am not gonna spend my days listening to animals be slaughtered next door for cookouts!