My Trip To The Local High School Cafeteria

I needed to pick my son up early from school one day. I arrived at the high school and was directed to the attendance office. There I am informed that he is at lunch. I say okay and have a seat while I wait for him to show up. After about 15 minutes or so I notice 3 other kids have came and left after me. I ask the lady at the desk if my son is coming. She says "no he has lunch, we cannot call for him." I ask "well how do I get him?" She says "you have to go and look for him." That answer annoys me but I head on over to the cafeteria. It's been a couple years since I have visited a high school cafeteria. There are hundreds of teens with attitudes and piercings and so on. I approach the cafeteria door where is a staff member standing guard. I tell him I am looking for my son. He says go on in and look around?? WTF?? There are hundreds of kids in there!

"Look around??" I enter and walk around looking for my son. I, amongst the fashionable teens feel very out of place. I mean seriously it was all eyes on the old chick. I immediately felt my hairstyle was outdated, my pants were so not cool etc. I swear it was like being back in high school. 

I wander self consciously up and down the aisles looking for my son, who surprisingly looks like all the sons there. I literally feel all the kids staring at me, talking about me, judging me. After 10 minutes I return to the gate keeper and tell him I can't find my son, thinking he will make an announcement or something but he says "try again he's in there." I return. The stares return. I feel overweight, I notice I am the only female there without skinny jeans and Uggh boots.....

Is that a pimple I feel coming up on my forehead? Oh dear God. I am dying here. I, again, return to the gate keeper and say "no luck" he then informs me I can go look around the court yard. Which  I do. I enter and see kids making out, and notice immediately all the clicks. I quickly get  the hell outta there. And return to the cafeteria. I decide I will just wait there and eventually he will come out. Although I generally enjoy embarrassing my kids. I  did not want to do that to my son in front if the entire student body and somehow I think when your mommy comes looking for you in the cafeteria that could be embarrassing. I lay low by the entrance hoping to spot him. When one of his friends spots me and yells out 
"Miss Reed!" 
"Look it's  Miss Reed!"
"Miss Reed in the house!"
"Heeeeeey Miss Reed!"
 Of course due to his loud yelling the entire cafeteria turns at once to look at me. I am dying here I feel the teenage girls eyes traveling over my apparel. The teen boys sizing me up. This is just awkward! Just when I can take it no more I see him. I approach him and he actually did not seem as horrified as I thought he would be. I am the one horrified and ready to get out of there. I get outside and say to him "sorry I did not mean to pick you up in front of the entire school" "It's cool" he says  "You look kinda cool today anyways." "Awe, I do?" I ask. "Yeah" he says " you should have seen the mom that came in before you. She had the nerve to have on skinny jeans!"