Tuesday, March 13, 2012

My Trip To The Local High School Cafeteria

I needed to pick my son up early from school one day. I arrived at the high school and was directed to the attendance office. There I am informed that he is at lunch. I say okay and have a seat while I wait for him to show up. After about 15 minutes or so I notice 3 other kids have came and left after me. I ask the lady at the desk if my son is coming. She says "no he has lunch, we cannot call for him." I ask "well how do I get him?" She says "you have to go and look for him." That answer annoys me but I head on over to the cafeteria. It's been a couple years since I have visited a high school cafeteria. There are hundreds of teens with attitudes and piercings and so on. I approach the cafeteria door where is a staff member standing guard. I tell him I am looking for my son. He says go on in and look around?? WTF?? There are hundreds of kids in there!
"Look around??" I enter and walk around looking for my son. I, amongst the fashionable teens feel very out of place. I mean seriously it was all eyes on the old chick. I immediately felt my hairstyle was outdated, my pants were so not cool etc. I swear it was like being back in high school. 
I wander self consciously up and down the aisles looking for my son, who surprisingly looks like all the sons there. I literally feel all the kids staring at me, talking about me, judging me. After 10 minutes I return to the gate keeper and tell him I can't find my son, thinking he will make an announcement or something but he says "try again he's in there." I return. The stares return. I feel overweight, I notice I am the only female there without skinny jeans and Uggh boots.....
Is that a pimple I feel coming up on my forehead? Oh dear God. I am dying here. I, again, return to the gate keeper and say "no luck" he then informs me I can go look around the court yard. Which  I do. I enter and see kids making out, and notice immediately all the clicks. I quickly get  the hell outta there. And return to the cafeteria. I decide I will just wait there and eventually he will come out. Although I generally enjoy embarrassing my kids. I  did not want to do that to my son in front if the entire student body and somehow I think when your mommy comes looking for you in the cafeteria that could be embarrassing. I lay low by the entrance hoping to spot him. When one of his friends spots me and yells out 
"Miss Reed!" 
"Look it's  Miss Reed!"
"Miss Reed in the house!"
"Heeeeeey Miss Reed!"
 Of course due to his loud yelling the entire cafeteria turns at once to look at me. I am dying here I feel the teenage girls eyes traveling over my apparel. The teen boys sizing me up. This is just awkward! Just when I can take it no more I see him. I approach him and he actually did not seem as horrified as I thought he would be. I am the one horrified and ready to get out of there. I get outside and say to him "sorry I did not mean to pick you up in front of the entire school" "It's cool" he says  "You look kinda cool today anyways." "Awe, I do?" I ask. "Yeah" he says " you should have seen the mom that came in before you. She had the nerve to have on skinny jeans!"

16 comments:

  1. To this day high school girls put the fear of God into me and I'm 44. I swear high school can give you PTSD.

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    1. I although not in the popular crowd at high school never felt so judged. It was soo uncomfortable.

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  2. I am really giggling at his comment. So not looking forward to my girls entering high school. Or, better, yet, my having to enter the high school when they're there FOR ANY REASON.

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    1. I actually enjoy hanging out at the HS football games and rolling up at the high school. BC I'm cool like that. But something about that cafeteria was different. All I could think about is that I have a 4 year old so how bad is it gonna be when she is in HS and I am 14 years older and 14 years uncooler?

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  3. My son would be mortified if I were anywhere near his school (8th grade - Middle School). I have visible tattoos and I wear low rise jeans and shorts. I like to bleach my hair in parts and make it purple and I am also almost 44 - like Mystery Chick.

    What can I say? I had a mohawk at age 20 and I still haven't grown up! LOL.

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  4. Well at the high school my sons attended the dress code for the 'it' girls was skirts without underwear on. Want to know why? Because they loved showing their lady parts as they walked up the stairs.
    Think I would prefer the skinny jeans.....

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  5. "You look kinda cool today anyways."

    That should keep you pumped up for about a month.

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  6. Did you, by any chance, overhear 'MILF' while you were there?

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