So recently my son completed Drivers Ed. He did very well and the mere second he graduated he wanted to drive, drive, drive. I was a bit confused I thought that since he had that certificate I could drive with him, but nope, turns out he needs an actual permit from the DMV. I know ignorance of the law is no excuse but it is my excuse. I let him drive me around the neighborhood a couple times and he did quite well but I have little patience and was freaked the entire time. Once I found out that he had to have that permit from the DMV I explained no more driving until we get that done. Problem is the pesky DMV office closes at 5p each day and that schedule just does not work for me. So although he hounded me daily to get the permit it was put on a to-do list.
School was closed for 3 days. Damn teacher workdays. And I thought two teens at home for 3 days alone would equal trouble so I sent them to their dads. Monday night (day two) Dad calls me at 10p. He is pissed. He informs me he is on the way to my home with the boys. I was confused because I thought I had one more day. He then informs me that while he was at work our son (which is my son apparently when he does wrong) had driven dads car while he was at work. He was livid. I was mad too but I kinda found it funny because I too would steal my moms car all the time at that age. And for all the times I called dad to complain that I needed help with them and more support as they reached their teen years. He could never help out, but he always made sure to inform me that they would not do "those things" if they lived with him. He was ranting and raving mostly about his car and the gas that was used. Not about the fact that Michael had only driven a grand total of 3 hours in drivers ed and was not only a danger to himself but others as well. The story they gave him was that they drove around the neighborhood a few times. Dad demanded that I punish him. Nope sorry dude that happened at your house you should have punished him. His idea of punishing him was to return him home and put it in my lap. I thought that was a huge cop-out since he pays $35 a week in child support per child and is currently a month behind.
A lil side note about that child support- we agreed on that amount when the boys were tots because he would get them every weekend and also paid half of their clothing costs and chipped in on field trips, and pictures etc. At the time it was more important that he remain active in their lives to me then provide money for their care. I could do it by myself so I mostly did. But he has since had two wives and two more kids plus one more kid that showed up from his past prior to me so lets just say the visitation is shaky at best. Not to mention that the cost of a 2 year old compared to a 16 year old is way different. I mean that boy can eat up a weeks worth of his child support in one day.
He dropped off the boys and left. Then I sat down with them and asked what the hell were they thinking?? They made light of the situation. "No big deal" as my son put it. "We didn't wreck and no one got hurt." After I explained all the things that could have gone wrong. An accident, running over and killing a child, getting caught by the police, etc. My son still did not see the "big deal". It was very frustrating. At that point I informed the lad that should he ever steal a car at my home I would definitely have him arrested for grand theft auto. He looked at me and said "and I knew that, which is why I stole dads car and not yours."
So I am curious, Did you ever steal your parents car or did your kids ever steal yours?
A humorous, opinionated yet insightful view on life, teenagers, kids, working. Here I share some of my day to day interactions and trust me its not as boring as it sounds. Check it out!
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
How Effing Ungrateful!
I am a closet smoker. Smoking is a nasty and bad habit. However, I love it. I do not smoke in the day at all. But each night when I take my bath I puff on two Virgina Slims. I am not a drinker, nor do I have any prescription magic pills to help me deal with stress, so this is my medication. The two smokes calm me and put me in relax mode so that I am ready for sleep. I enjoy it. It is my dirty pleasure. Very few people know that I smoke. Well until now. One of the people who does know is my neighbor. She is on a fixed income. She gets a check at the beginning of the month and has no employment so she rides that check out until its gone which is usually around the 15th of each month. Then she is broke. The problem is she too is a smoker. Apparently a chain smoker. We all know cigarettes are expensive so if you are that broke that is an even worse habit to behold. Anyhoo to get to the point I am her cigarette supplier from the 15th to the 3rd of the next month.
It started out just a smoke here and there but now it has become expected. In my silly attempt to cut down on all the phone calls and stop-bys I started to give her 4 or 5 at a time thinking that would hold her a couple days and I would not have to deal with the dramatics. That worked the first two times then it would seem even if I gave her 5 smokes the next day there she would be waiting for me to stock her up again. This was extremely frustrating because since I smoke so little my pack would last a week. Now with her my pack lasts a day or so. I have even bought her an entire pack so that she can give me some peace but even then she blows through them in a day and she's back begging the next day. It is annoying and exhausting. I have tried to explain to her that I am a very light smoker and usually have just enough to get me through and that now that she is smoking on my dime I find that I am spending quite a bit more. I get apologies and the "oh I feel terrible" but the asking does not stop.Any real smoker knows that when you smoke and have no smokes it is a horrible predicament to be in. So she calls me as soon as I pull up, I am not even out of the car yet. If I don't answer she runs out to catch me. If she is unsuccessful she will knock on my door. There is no way to get around it other than to just be a bitch and say no more. Which by the way I am not quite prepared to do just yet although I feel it is coming. So last week when she was calling over and over and I was ignoring her I could feel that she was headed over. I gave cigarettes to Mason and said "quick run these to Mrs. Judy's house." He returned 10 minutes later (because no visit to Mrs Judy's house is a quick one) shaking his head.
I asked what happened he said "well mom she opened the door and I said my mom said to give these to you. She opened the box and yelled only two! My god she only sent me two! And then she started to cry. She cried and cried and I had to come in and get her at tissue. I asked her what was wrong and she said your mom only gave me two. Is she out or something? Why would she do that? Is she mad?"
After hearing what had happened I was livid! I started to go over there and demand my two cigarettes back. How dare she! Are you effing kidding me! Come on! I am raising a family of 6 over here on a very small amount of money. I am sure if you broke down the person to money ratio she would be rich compared to us. She just mishandles her money apparently. But I just thought it was the most ungrateful response I had ever seen. For that I ignored her for an entire week. It took a lot of ducking and being rude when she would come walking up my driveway but after about 4 days she got the hint and laid low.
I noticed my smokes were still disappearing too quickly. I asked David one evening had he been tampering with my pack. He said yeah. "I've gotten a few here and there." "Why?" I asked irritated that my pack had somehow become the community pack. He said "well everyday when I pull up from work Mrs Judy meets me in the driveway and needed some so I have been splitting my pack with her which left me short so I had to get some out of yours. UUUGGGHHHH
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Insensitive Or Over-Reacting?
Hmmm Karma is a bitch
So David has been working two jobs one from 530a-7p then another from 7p-12a. He usually stops by after job #1 to eat and then heads out to job #2. Job #2 is a side job that he sets the pace for, so although he needs to get there, it is not like if he is late he is in trouble. He was leaving for job #2 when my smoke detectors started going off. I was a lil weirded out by that because we were not cooking or showering or doing anything that would cause that. David was pulling off so I had Mason run and tell his dad to come in right quick and see what was up with the alarm. David comes in and fans the alarm which causes it to stop and then says bye and heads back out. By the time he made it to the door the alarm starts going off again. He returns and removes the battery and then heads for the door again.I was shocked by his solution to the problem so I say to him "ummm, excuse me, but I don't think removing the battery is what one is supposed to do when the alarm sounds." He replies nonchalantly "the battery is just dead."
"I'm no fire chief but usually the alarm is used to alert one of something. In my experience when the battery is dying the alarm will let off an intermediate screech sound every few minutes to let you know that." I inform him. This sound was clearly the alarm sounding. He looks at me irritated and says "Roc there is no fire so it must be the battery." "Or Carbon Monoxide?" I suggest. "Maybe" he says as he heads for the door. "Maybe?!" I yell. "So you're off to work while we all must just stay here and inhale the carbon until death?" "You are not going to die. If you are that concerned open a window." is his reply. "Oh okay" I say sarcastically "we'll just open the windows and go to bed and maybe the bad guys who broke in last month won't will come in and kill us. But don't worry about that head on off to work now. We'll see you when you come back or rather in heaven when you get there. We will all be waiting. Oh, since all my kids will be dead as well you can just give all my stuff to my sisters." He turns around not impressed and says "Roc its the battery." "Yes, David while I am sure that is the best case scenario, however it just seems like you would want to be sure" "Fine." he storms in and removes the battery again and says" I'll just go get a new battery". "Sounds like a good plan" I say. He returns less than 5 minutes later, pulls up hands Mason the "new" battery and pulls away.
He was very fast, suspiciously so. I take the battery David has given Mason and place it into the alarm which immediately starts going off. I remove that battery and put it into another alarm which also starts to go off. I assume the battery in the second alarm must have been dead and now this new battery David just bought is making alarm #2 functional, so it is picking up the Carbon Monoxide and going off. So I call David, he picks up I say "Soooo both alarms are now sounding. You still think it is just the battery because this battery is new?" He pulls back up comes in and says "give me the battery."Why?" I ask. He admits "I never replaced it. I lied. I just wiped it off and brought back the same battery. I really needed to go but I will go buy 3 new batteries." Which he did and all the alarms stopped. Turned out he was right. That would make the score:
Me 10000882. Him 3.
Although he was right I still was mad because how could he be sure? What if we had all died in our sleep? I don't know about you but I take the possible death of my entire family seriously enough that I would make sure my guess that the battery was dead was a correct guess But that's just me.
So you decide. Did I overreact or was he being insensitive? Keep in mind this is my blog!
Thursday, February 16, 2012
The Drama Continues
Her Side:
"Well...I was out walking my dog and I heard a noise behind the barn (located beside my house). I became frightened. There was heavy crashing sounds and the sound of metal. I was petrified. I immediately thought that your house was being robbed again. I took my dog back to my home and returned to see what was going on . As I was returning I saw a scary looking guy coming from behind your barn walking towards your back porch. I ran up to him and started yelling hey who are you? What are you doing here? Get the hell off this property now! The scary guy just ignored me and kept walking so I ran up to him and repeated my questions. I did not know who he was or if he was a killer. I wasn't sure if there were more people behind the barn. Before I realized it I had gotten right up in his face. I thought he may stab me or hurt me in some way. So I yelled at him some more. Finally the scary guy turned to me and said I am here to see Michael. I told him Michael was in school. He told me no he wasn't. He was in the house and had invited him over. I ran to your door and started pounding on the door yelling for Michael to come out. He ignored me. I kicked your door several times and continued yelling. Finally Michael came to the door. He opened the door a hair and said what so you want. I told him to get his ass out of that house, I asked him what were they doing? Was he robbing the place? I wasn't sure, But I thought maybe they were moving merchandise from your home to behind the barn for pick up. I continued yelling and cursing at Michael who just stared blankly at me. Finally he said to me Mrs. Judy I am sick. That's why I am home. I asked my friend to come over. That's why he is here. So I told him you are not supposed to have anyone here. What the hell is wrong with you? He said to me well call my mom if you have a problem. Then he shut the door in my face leaving me alone out on your porch with the other scary guy who I was certain would harm me. I told him to get the hell off the property before I called the police. Roc, what the hell is going on in your home? What is going on with Michael? He is up to some thing you need to have him arrested or placed in a boot cap or something. I cannot believe he was so disrespectful to shut the door in my face! I do not feel safe. I wasn't sure if they would attack me or hurt me I was so scared." My Thoughts:
This story brings me much confusion. Why would she be scared of my son? Why was my son home and not at school? What was behind the barn? Who was the scary guy? Just then my son calls. I ask him what the hell is going on? He says to me "I came home and Mrs Judy came here and went crazy." I ask him who was at my house he says "no one now, but it was Brett." "Brett?" I asked. "No, not him, who was the scary guy?" "Brett" he says sounded defeated."What was Brett doing behind the barn?" "Hiding from Mrs Judy" he says. Uggghh "This is all too much I will be home in shortly and I will deal with you then." And I hung up greatly annoyed. When I arrive home I immediately begin yelling at him, because let's be honest, he was skipping school again. His Side:
He had an accident in his pants....(A clear lie.) So he needed to come home and change. He was with Brett walking to school when it happened. So he headed home to shower and change and Brett was just gonna come with him. When he got to our street he told Brett to wait on the corner so he would not be seen by the neighbor. When he got home without an issue he called Brett and told him the coast was clear. Brett headed down the street just as Mrs. Judy was headed out to walk her dog. Brett called Micheal who instructed him to come the back way and hide behind the barn until Mrs. Judy went into her home. Which is what Brett did. However he must have rustled some leaves and unknowingly got Mrs. Judy's attention. So when she went home to put the dog up he thought the coast was clear and was headed to my back door when wham! Mrs Judy appeared yelling, screaming and cursing at him. He tried to ignore her and not engage her but she followed him. Then he just told her the truth that Micheal had invited him over. But she continued to yell and scream at him. Then Michael says Mrs. Judy came to the door, she kicked the door twice. He wasn't even gonna open it but she kept banging and yelling. So eventually he came to the door. He opened it and she began yelling at him. So much, so close that her spittle landed in his face and after the second time of spit landing in his face he told her to call me and shut the door. The Facts:
Obviously my son did not shit his pants. That was just an excuse to come home. They were obviously planning to skip and hang out in my house. I fully believe all the parts about my sons story of why Brett was behind the barn. My kids know that Mrs Judy conducts 24 hour surveillance. Aside from my son being wrong for skipping here's what I take issue with. The "scary kid" that Judy referred to is my sons best friend. A more true depiction of what the kid looks like |
Her Description of The "Scary Guy" |
He is over here lots. He has no weird piercings or tattoos or anything to make him look "scary." The kid wears yellow for god's sake. She knew him! So the part about the scary guy was unnecessary and embellished. I checked behind the barn. There was nothing back there. So the loud crashing and metal sounds...embellished. Her life being in danger...bullshit! My son nor any of his friends have ever been disrespectful to her or never been violent at all. No one threatened her! She could not have been that scared of him. She approached them both! I appreciate her giving me the heads up when something fishy is going on at my home and I'm not home. I do not appreciate her going over there and trying to handle it herself when she realized it was my son. She should have simply called me and that's all. It is not her place to go confront my kid. That would be my job. And it is definitely not her place to yell at my child or threaten him or his friends. Especially after she just fucking misidentified him as a robber no more than a week ago! I did tell her that. And I was mad at her for a good while. I also punished my son for skipping and called his friend up and had a chat with him about what will happen if I catch him at my house again when I'm not home. But Jeez Louise these people are outta control. And I am super pissed that my neighbor made it seem like she was in danger when she was the aggressor. Ugggh
Now you pick a side. Neighbor or son? They were both wrong but I just sorta feel the adult should be the adult. What do you think?
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
The Drama Never Stops
So In case you missed it I went through hell for a couple weeks when my home was robbed and my 15 year old son was falsely identified by my neighbor.
Honestly the hardest thing I ever went through that I can recall. I was literally an emotional wreck. When my son was cleared it took a huge weight off me but there was still angst. I still and never will know who robbed my home. My relationship with my son will always have this scar. But I was getting through, pulling myself together.
Sunday night my boys were wrestling when Mason's foot got injured and his dad was convinced the bone had cracked. I had to go to work in the morning and Mason claimed he could not walk so I took him to work with me to try to find someone to cover my shift so I could take him to the doctor. It's really hard to carry a ten year old at 6am. Later that day around 12pm I am at the XRay center to get Mason's foot Xrayed. I had already had an unpleasant exchange with the receptionist who was less than friendly, even snooty, when she informed me the Xray would not be covered by my insurance since it was out of network. It wasn't so much as that, but the way she said it was just snooty! We were waiting to be called back. There are several signs stating no cell phones in the waiting area or treatment area and I obliged by turning off my ringer.I periodically checked my phone because I do have several other children and you never know. I noticed I had 3 missed calls from the neighbor. I was concerned and annoyed. Concerned because I thought maybe my house is being robbed again and annoyed because if that is not the case and she thinks I'm working why would she keep calling?Then I get two missed calls from my job followed by another missed call from my neighbor. Now I'm starting to panic thinking there must be a problem. I get a text from a coworker that says "roc your neighbor called here looking for you she said it is an emergency". At this point they are Xraying Mason's foot. I cannot just leave the waiting area. That would freak him out if he returned and I was not there so I sat there for an agonizing 15 minutes wondering what the hell was going on at my home. Finally the Xray tech returned with Mason and shockingly now he could walk! It's a miracle! Once they told him he foot wasn't broken or sprained he magically healed right up. I was so irritated with him that I wanted to break his foot so that the entire day had not been a waste. I carried him and he is heavy, I left work, I argued with dad over the injury, and now I will have a huge Xray bill since the place my pediatrician sent me to get the Xray was out of network. Uggh just what I needed.
As I leave the Xray department I immediately call my neighbor. She answers the phone out of breath and over excited. I say annoyed "is there a problem?" "Oh hell yes there is!" she screams back at me. "Where are you?" I explain that I am far away at a hospital but ask what is the problem. She says "well I would not bother you if it was not an emergency! But something is going on with your son!" Oh god here we go. "My son is in school" I inform her.
"No he's not either!" she yells
"He is in your house!...
And I just had it out with him!...
Oh my god, let me calm down! She is breathing as if she will pass out at any minute. She begins to tell me what a horrible morning she has had to begin with.
Her dog is terribly ill and...
she's not feeling well herself, and...
she has been so stressed ever since the robbery....
and today just tops the cake....
she thinks she may move....
She needs her meds....
her heart is palpitating and....
the dog is so upset, and....
I need to get home asap...."
I am completely irritated and ask her "what the hell is going on? "
Oh god well Let me calm myself..
hold on I need some water.....
Oh you are going to be so upset...
or mad but I'm mad..."
this goes on and on. I have had enough!
"Fucking tell me all ready!" I yell "What the hell is going on?"
"Well....." she takes a deep breath and begins her story....
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Telling The Neighbor
She stands there in her usual attire, her robe and slippers. I scream "He did not do this! Michael is innocent!" She seems to be in shock and says "come in come in." I sit on her couch and I tell her how the police were just at my house and have cleared Michael. She stares at me in horror. She begins to sob. Not the reaction I was hoping for?? I say to her "hey now, no crying this is great news! You can stop giving him the suspect eye and we both can rest easy knowing that he didn't do this." She cries louder. "I can't believe I made a mistake it looked just like him" she says. "Well it's okay we all make mistakes" I say in an effort to comfort her. "Oh god!" she sobs "he must hate me." "Yes, he does" I say, "but he will get over it he just needs a little time." "I was so sure" she says shaking her head in disbelief. "I know, its okay." I say She begins to wail "oh you must hate me.!" "No, I don't" I assure her. "Yes you do!" she wails. Her wailing is similar to that of a three year old having a tantrum. There is shaking and snot and tears and loud crying. But I've seen it before. I tell her to clam down no one hates her its just that I am so happy he didn't do this. She again said "I was just so sure." I just stare at her. "But I never saw his face" she admits. "Just the back of him or rather the back of who I thought was him." "It's fine," I say "you were only trying to help."
"All your kids must hate me." she whines. I assure her that they don't. She asks me if I can ever forgive her. I tell her that I already have. As she cries and cries and makes it about her I remind her to imagine how I must feel. I am his mother and I too accused him. "Only after I said I saw him!" she wails. "Either way, I am his mother and I should have stood by him." I interject. "Oh the turmoil I have caused your family. I am just so sorry and".....this goes on for an hour. Her crying and apologizing me assuring her that we do not hate her and that we should focus on the positive... he is innocent. I eventually calm her down to where she is no longer crying at the top of her lungs just whimpering quietly about how much he must hate her. I tell her "he's a good kid. Give him some time and he'll forgive you." She asks if she can apologize right now. I say no the day has been long enough and I am sure Michael doesn't want to hear her apology right now. "Just let it die down a bit" I suggest. As I am wrapping up my visit that always takes about 3 times longer than I anticipated I get her calm enough so I can leave without feeling too guilty. She starts to cry again. "Do you think he will take revenge against me?"
This makes me angry! I turn on my heel and look her in the eye and say "My son has never done anything malicious to anyone! He is not that kind of person!" "Well he could be so mad now that he may retaliate." she says. I am stunned at that comment. I have decided to just go and leave her to her misery. I wrap things up by saying "well we, and our homes are safe and I am happy for that." "No we are not" she says. "That means the real robber is still out there and I am probably next. She begins to get worked up again. "Listen, the robber only stole kids items and electronics so it was obviously someone who knew us and had been in our home. You have nick knacks and facial cream. They do not want that. I am sure you will be fine." I say, becoming irritated. "Oh no" she says "I am certain I am next." "Okay I give up. Have a good night" I say and return home wishing I had never went over to begin with.
"All your kids must hate me." she whines. I assure her that they don't. She asks me if I can ever forgive her. I tell her that I already have. As she cries and cries and makes it about her I remind her to imagine how I must feel. I am his mother and I too accused him. "Only after I said I saw him!" she wails. "Either way, I am his mother and I should have stood by him." I interject. "Oh the turmoil I have caused your family. I am just so sorry and".....this goes on for an hour. Her crying and apologizing me assuring her that we do not hate her and that we should focus on the positive... he is innocent. I eventually calm her down to where she is no longer crying at the top of her lungs just whimpering quietly about how much he must hate her. I tell her "he's a good kid. Give him some time and he'll forgive you." She asks if she can apologize right now. I say no the day has been long enough and I am sure Michael doesn't want to hear her apology right now. "Just let it die down a bit" I suggest. As I am wrapping up my visit that always takes about 3 times longer than I anticipated I get her calm enough so I can leave without feeling too guilty. She starts to cry again. "Do you think he will take revenge against me?"
This makes me angry! I turn on my heel and look her in the eye and say "My son has never done anything malicious to anyone! He is not that kind of person!" "Well he could be so mad now that he may retaliate." she says. I am stunned at that comment. I have decided to just go and leave her to her misery. I wrap things up by saying "well we, and our homes are safe and I am happy for that." "No we are not" she says. "That means the real robber is still out there and I am probably next. She begins to get worked up again. "Listen, the robber only stole kids items and electronics so it was obviously someone who knew us and had been in our home. You have nick knacks and facial cream. They do not want that. I am sure you will be fine." I say, becoming irritated. "Oh no" she says "I am certain I am next." "Okay I give up. Have a good night" I say and return home wishing I had never went over to begin with.
Monday, February 6, 2012
The Robbery- Part 5 - Finally....Guilty or Not
The Back Story
Okay, loyal readers, here I will finally tell you if my son did this or not.
So I answer the phone and I am greeted by a Captain Morgan. He informs me that is is calling because he understands I had filed a complaint. Which although I did complain I did not realize it was "official." So I catch him up on the entire story about how I was treated by the redneck-asshole-guy and how I have not been contacted since and the all the stuff that had occurred in relation to this robbery and their mishandling of it. He is very nice and he tells me that he will be looking into the way I was treated by the FVPD because that is definitely not the way to handle citizens. He informs me that all calls are recorded and he plans to pull the recordings from my previous 5 phone calls and if what I said was indeed true someone's "head would roll." He explains the investigation process to me and for that I am grateful because I truly had no clue. He apologizes again for the way I was treated and assures me that he will take action. He asks if there is anything he can do to smooth things over with me.
I tell him that at this point it had been two weeks and obviously the case would not likely get solved but that I was horribly upset and confused by my son being accused. He asks if I think he did it. I tell him no but I don't want to be that mom that thinks her kids are angels. I mean who would really think their kid robbed their family at 15?? I explain to him how hard it has been in my home not knowing if my son is innocent or guilty and at this point I don't even care if they find the culprit. I just want my son either cleared or convicted so we can move on with our lives. I tell him that the FVPD has stock in finding out if he did it as much as I do because if he did it I am sure next he would rob someone else and then they would really have a problem. I tell him if my son did do this then this would be his first crime therefore he should be easy to break.
I suggest they come pick him up and take him to one of those interrogation rooms with the swinging light and an intimidating officer that could get him to confess.
He explains that due to his age he cannot do that. I ask if they can administer a lie detector test to my son. Again he informs me the age is an issue. I tell him I am willing to sign something saying I do not mind if they go outside of protocol. Whatever it takes I need to know. He says again he cannot. I sigh in frustration and my voice cracks as I fight back tears that apparently I will never know if my son did this or not. There is a long pause on Captain Morgans end and he says "I'll tell you what. It is so uncommon for a mother to be so vigilant when their child is accused. Generally a mother would just defend her child even when she may know he is guilty." He commends me for that. He said he could tell I was struggling with this and since I had been so mistreated he would do me a favor. He informs me that he is the master at making a criminal crack especially youth offenders and that although he could not come pick my son up he would come to my home and "work his magic" and give me the answer I so sought after. It is almost 10pm. He asks if I would like him to do that. I am super grateful and I reply "Yes! Yes! Please!" He says "I am on my way see you in 10 minutes."
Ten minutes later there is a knock at the door. All my boys are sitting at the dining room table playing UNO.(that's what happens when there are no video games) I open the door and act surprised to see the captain standing there with the original responding officer. They step inside and the captain says "I am here to see Michael Reed." My son looks like he is gonna shit himself. I point him out, "that's Michael" I say. He says all official and authoritatively "Michael I need you to come with me, Mrs Reed officer John will explain what's going on" and with that my son heads out the door with the captain. Those 15 minutes seemed like lifetime. I began to wonder if I was doing the right thing. I worried for my son. But I knew it was what I had to do. After 15 minutes or so the captain returns with his arm around my sons shoulders ( I am crying as I write this, as I visualize the memory of that sight.) He says to me "Mrs. Reed, your son is innocent. You got a good kid right here." I bite my lip to hold back the tears as I grab him and hug him. He, understandably, does not hug back. The captain explained that the prints do not match my son at all. He had previously verified my sons alibi and using his expertise in detecting guilt he had cleared my son. I honestly felt like I had won the lottery. You could never understand this until you go through something like this. In an instant I had my sweet innocent child back! I thanked the captain over and over. He told me that I was doing a great job as a mom and he wished more mothers in our town were more like me. Then he gave me his cell, his email and told me if I ever needed anything please get in touch with him. He also apologized again for the trauma that my family had endured. And with that he left. He barely made it out my driveway when I ran as fast as I could to the neighbors. It was 11pm! I banged on her door so much that I am sure I scared the shit out of her. She opened the door frazzled and I yelled "he is innocent! Michael did not do this!".......
Okay, loyal readers, here I will finally tell you if my son did this or not.
So I answer the phone and I am greeted by a Captain Morgan. He informs me that is is calling because he understands I had filed a complaint. Which although I did complain I did not realize it was "official." So I catch him up on the entire story about how I was treated by the redneck-asshole-guy and how I have not been contacted since and the all the stuff that had occurred in relation to this robbery and their mishandling of it. He is very nice and he tells me that he will be looking into the way I was treated by the FVPD because that is definitely not the way to handle citizens. He informs me that all calls are recorded and he plans to pull the recordings from my previous 5 phone calls and if what I said was indeed true someone's "head would roll." He explains the investigation process to me and for that I am grateful because I truly had no clue. He apologizes again for the way I was treated and assures me that he will take action. He asks if there is anything he can do to smooth things over with me.
I tell him that at this point it had been two weeks and obviously the case would not likely get solved but that I was horribly upset and confused by my son being accused. He asks if I think he did it. I tell him no but I don't want to be that mom that thinks her kids are angels. I mean who would really think their kid robbed their family at 15?? I explain to him how hard it has been in my home not knowing if my son is innocent or guilty and at this point I don't even care if they find the culprit. I just want my son either cleared or convicted so we can move on with our lives. I tell him that the FVPD has stock in finding out if he did it as much as I do because if he did it I am sure next he would rob someone else and then they would really have a problem. I tell him if my son did do this then this would be his first crime therefore he should be easy to break.
I suggest they come pick him up and take him to one of those interrogation rooms with the swinging light and an intimidating officer that could get him to confess.
He explains that due to his age he cannot do that. I ask if they can administer a lie detector test to my son. Again he informs me the age is an issue. I tell him I am willing to sign something saying I do not mind if they go outside of protocol. Whatever it takes I need to know. He says again he cannot. I sigh in frustration and my voice cracks as I fight back tears that apparently I will never know if my son did this or not. There is a long pause on Captain Morgans end and he says "I'll tell you what. It is so uncommon for a mother to be so vigilant when their child is accused. Generally a mother would just defend her child even when she may know he is guilty." He commends me for that. He said he could tell I was struggling with this and since I had been so mistreated he would do me a favor. He informs me that he is the master at making a criminal crack especially youth offenders and that although he could not come pick my son up he would come to my home and "work his magic" and give me the answer I so sought after. It is almost 10pm. He asks if I would like him to do that. I am super grateful and I reply "Yes! Yes! Please!" He says "I am on my way see you in 10 minutes."
Ten minutes later there is a knock at the door. All my boys are sitting at the dining room table playing UNO.(that's what happens when there are no video games) I open the door and act surprised to see the captain standing there with the original responding officer. They step inside and the captain says "I am here to see Michael Reed." My son looks like he is gonna shit himself. I point him out, "that's Michael" I say. He says all official and authoritatively "Michael I need you to come with me, Mrs Reed officer John will explain what's going on" and with that my son heads out the door with the captain. Those 15 minutes seemed like lifetime. I began to wonder if I was doing the right thing. I worried for my son. But I knew it was what I had to do. After 15 minutes or so the captain returns with his arm around my sons shoulders ( I am crying as I write this, as I visualize the memory of that sight.) He says to me "Mrs. Reed, your son is innocent. You got a good kid right here." I bite my lip to hold back the tears as I grab him and hug him. He, understandably, does not hug back. The captain explained that the prints do not match my son at all. He had previously verified my sons alibi and using his expertise in detecting guilt he had cleared my son. I honestly felt like I had won the lottery. You could never understand this until you go through something like this. In an instant I had my sweet innocent child back! I thanked the captain over and over. He told me that I was doing a great job as a mom and he wished more mothers in our town were more like me. Then he gave me his cell, his email and told me if I ever needed anything please get in touch with him. He also apologized again for the trauma that my family had endured. And with that he left. He barely made it out my driveway when I ran as fast as I could to the neighbors. It was 11pm! I banged on her door so much that I am sure I scared the shit out of her. She opened the door frazzled and I yelled "he is innocent! Michael did not do this!".......
Thursday, February 2, 2012
The Robbery- Part 4 Me Against The FVPD
The Beginning of the Story
I had been gathering info all week."Working the case" I was hell-bent and determined to find out if my son had anything to do with this. I was exhausted. I had not heard from anyone from the police department so I decided I should call them. I had the responding officers number in my phone so I called him and shared with him the information I had received from the school and the information on the kid that looked like my kid. He told he was off and was not my officer. He told me I should contact the police department to find out who was assigned my case and share that info with them. I did just that. Guess who answered? Red-neck-asshole-guy. As soon I started to explain who I was he cut me off and said "yeah we know, what do you want" I explained that I had information I needed to share with whomever was handling my case. He asked me for my investigators name. I told him I didn't know. I didn't. He grumbled and said "who was the officer?" I told him the responding officer had told he he was not my officer. He then said rudely "well what's your case number?" I told him I did not know. I had not been given a case number or any information. He said "you don't know?" I said "no I don't" He responded rudely "well I don't either" and hung up. I was outraged. What was this dudes problem? I had decided to go down there in person after work.
When I arrived at the local police station I could see immediately why the person answering the phone was an ass. There was one guy responding to 911 calls, regular police station calls, dispatching police units and handling walk ins. That made me feel very unsettled about my community. I had to wait 15 minutes for the guy working behind the desk to acknowledge me he was super busy. So I made it quick. I knew immediately he was not red-neck-asshole-guy because he was polite to the callers. I quickly explained who I was and that I had been having difficulties with whoever it is that is answering the lines in the daytime. They officer behind the desk did not seem too interested. He told me that they are short staffed and simply my case was not a priority. It was a home burglary and that is the bottom of the list. He also told me that he was sorry for the delay but it was unreasonable for me to expect any answers 6 days in. That is a long process admittedly longer than it should be, but they honestly were doing the best they could. He said at that point my case had not even been assigned to anyone so there was no one to share the info with. I was so damn frustrated. He also told me that they had just done a major switch in the back and lots of people were in positions they had never been in so they were trying to iron out the wrinkles. He was polite but he gave me no hope. I felt defeated. I asked him what do I do with this info? I also found it odd that I got yelled at by red-neck-asshole-guy because as he says "time is of the essence in a crime" and here it was a week later and no one was working my case.!!! He took down my name and number and said he'd pass it on. I left. Honestly I gave up. "Fucking forget it" I'd said. I returned home to my misery.
Since the robbery, my neighbor had become more worrisome than usual calling every time she heard a sound. Questioning me over and over about what I was going to do about my son. Reminding me constantly that she did not feel safe and she was sure her home was next. I tried to reassure her it was obviously someone who knew us, some teen because my jewelry and checks had not been taken only the kids stuff. She had nothing to worry about all she has is ole lady stuff that no one wants. But she made it about her. I was so annoyed. Here I could barely cope, I felt like hell and I had to go to work each day and carry on each day taking care of my kids all while dealing with the thoughts that my home was not safe, and wondering if my son was this terrible. I felt I failed my kids. They no longer felt safe. As a matter of fact Marlon had called his dad and asked to move in with them because he did not feel safe. That was crushing. Michael's moods swung from emotional to angry. I could not decided if he was guilty or not. And in the middle of all this the neighbor was super needy because she was alone and scared and I was made to feel responsible for that. It was a hard hard time for me and I had no where to turn. My friends and coworkers offered to help with the other kids as they saw me struggle emotionally and twice a coworker sent us dinner. It was all very nice but I felt alienated with my son as a suspect. Until Friday Night when I received an unexpected phone call........
I had been gathering info all week."Working the case" I was hell-bent and determined to find out if my son had anything to do with this. I was exhausted. I had not heard from anyone from the police department so I decided I should call them. I had the responding officers number in my phone so I called him and shared with him the information I had received from the school and the information on the kid that looked like my kid. He told he was off and was not my officer. He told me I should contact the police department to find out who was assigned my case and share that info with them. I did just that. Guess who answered? Red-neck-asshole-guy. As soon I started to explain who I was he cut me off and said "yeah we know, what do you want" I explained that I had information I needed to share with whomever was handling my case. He asked me for my investigators name. I told him I didn't know. I didn't. He grumbled and said "who was the officer?" I told him the responding officer had told he he was not my officer. He then said rudely "well what's your case number?" I told him I did not know. I had not been given a case number or any information. He said "you don't know?" I said "no I don't" He responded rudely "well I don't either" and hung up. I was outraged. What was this dudes problem? I had decided to go down there in person after work.
When I arrived at the local police station I could see immediately why the person answering the phone was an ass. There was one guy responding to 911 calls, regular police station calls, dispatching police units and handling walk ins. That made me feel very unsettled about my community. I had to wait 15 minutes for the guy working behind the desk to acknowledge me he was super busy. So I made it quick. I knew immediately he was not red-neck-asshole-guy because he was polite to the callers. I quickly explained who I was and that I had been having difficulties with whoever it is that is answering the lines in the daytime. They officer behind the desk did not seem too interested. He told me that they are short staffed and simply my case was not a priority. It was a home burglary and that is the bottom of the list. He also told me that he was sorry for the delay but it was unreasonable for me to expect any answers 6 days in. That is a long process admittedly longer than it should be, but they honestly were doing the best they could. He said at that point my case had not even been assigned to anyone so there was no one to share the info with. I was so damn frustrated. He also told me that they had just done a major switch in the back and lots of people were in positions they had never been in so they were trying to iron out the wrinkles. He was polite but he gave me no hope. I felt defeated. I asked him what do I do with this info? I also found it odd that I got yelled at by red-neck-asshole-guy because as he says "time is of the essence in a crime" and here it was a week later and no one was working my case.!!! He took down my name and number and said he'd pass it on. I left. Honestly I gave up. "Fucking forget it" I'd said. I returned home to my misery.
Since the robbery, my neighbor had become more worrisome than usual calling every time she heard a sound. Questioning me over and over about what I was going to do about my son. Reminding me constantly that she did not feel safe and she was sure her home was next. I tried to reassure her it was obviously someone who knew us, some teen because my jewelry and checks had not been taken only the kids stuff. She had nothing to worry about all she has is ole lady stuff that no one wants. But she made it about her. I was so annoyed. Here I could barely cope, I felt like hell and I had to go to work each day and carry on each day taking care of my kids all while dealing with the thoughts that my home was not safe, and wondering if my son was this terrible. I felt I failed my kids. They no longer felt safe. As a matter of fact Marlon had called his dad and asked to move in with them because he did not feel safe. That was crushing. Michael's moods swung from emotional to angry. I could not decided if he was guilty or not. And in the middle of all this the neighbor was super needy because she was alone and scared and I was made to feel responsible for that. It was a hard hard time for me and I had no where to turn. My friends and coworkers offered to help with the other kids as they saw me struggle emotionally and twice a coworker sent us dinner. It was all very nice but I felt alienated with my son as a suspect. Until Friday Night when I received an unexpected phone call........
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