We all meet in the lot of the hotel to head to the church. My brother arrives with his 2 year old, and his teenage pregnant girlfriend that has never even met our grandparents and quite frankly neither her nor the baby should have been there.
We arrive at the church and the first thing I notice is my families apparel. My sister has tattoos all over her arms, a few not appropriate for a church setting and she has on a dress with sheer sleeves in an attempt to disguise the tattoos but only makes them more noticeable. My brother has on a dress shirt from 100lbs ago, jeans and dirty workbooks. His son has on dirty tennis shoes, jeans and a tshirt but then was the teenage baby momma...oh hell. she looked like some serious trailer park mess. Her hair had not even been brushed, she wore a family dollar black sundress with huge purple flowers on it, black socks and dirty white tennis hoes.
Okay before you get all offended I want to say if this was the best that they could do then I would not have a word to say about it. But these fools get over 2Gs a month is SS benefits, food stamps, free healthcare, a government check and my brother has a kick ass job where he rakes in the dough. So my feeling is their lack of tactful dress was simply inexcusable. Minimally wash your tennis shoes. At least put a suit on the damn baby who should not have even been there. They sell suits at Walmart for less than $20.
Okay the best accessory that all my family seemed to share out in that church parking lot was a cigarette dangling from each of their mouths, pregnant girl included. Now I am a smoker and try not to judge my fellow smokers, But for the love of god there is a time and a place. And on the church steps under a huge Mary statue is not either the time or place. All our NJ relatives were staring and you could tell they were politely appalled as was I.
After the cigarettes were tossed on the grounds of the church we entered. I at this point had decided that I needed to separate myself from this bunch so I could focus on the funeral and grieving for my loss opposed to monitoring my families every move. I sat on the second row as far from my siblings as possible but still on the same row.
The funeral was Catholic. Not sure how much anyone knows about catholics but apparently they are real big at starting a verse and having the congregation complete it. My family of course only knew to respond to the "and peace be with you" verse. That was real embarassing. At a point in the funeral the rabi/priest/father whatever asked if anyone would like to participate in communion. He said if you do not wanna participate stay seated and pray quietly. I've been to a catholic church once in my whole life. I know that it resembles the blood and body of christ but I really did not see what that had to do with my grandfathers death. And since I didn't quite understand the meaning of that ritual I decided to stay seated and pray. Apparently I was the only one in the entire service that made that decision.
As my family members filed out to take the communion I wondered if they even knew what or why they were doing it. I suspected not. As my mothers row returned to their pew she noticed that I had not gone up and she immediately was horrified that i did not participate in this charade. She turned to me and said "go take your communion"
I simply said "I'd rather not thank you"..."Go take it!!" she whisper-screamed. I said "no and turn around." Since we were on the two front rows Im sure the entire church saw this lovely display. Not to mention her breath reeked of shit and alcohol. It was horrible. As my sisters returned to our row I asked them what did that whole thing symbolized and what the significance of it was. They didn't know.
Then there was a prayer and of course my two year old nephew the only child that was there started to talk loudly so you could hear that and then "SHUSH!" "be quiet now!", then more talking from the baby then the sound of my brother dragging him out while he cried. UGGH!! Why didn't his momma get her lazy a** up and tend to her youngin after all she did not even know our grandparents.
Basically I wanna know if it was inappropriate for me to stay seated in prayer while the rest of people took communion. Please share any insight or opinions on this.. And stay tuned for the burial..It gets better!
Friday, June 25, 2010
Thursday, June 24, 2010
The Funeral...Part 1
On April 15th this year my beloved grandpop passed. He lived in NJ. This is where the majority of my family is from and resides.
A little background here. My extended family are really classy upper-class people. They are all college educated, get married for life, homeowners, a close knit group people living the american dream.
Then there is the branch of the tree in which I groweth. My mom, marrried 6+ times to absuive men, an alocholic, she and each of my siblings has had their fair share of a rough life. Because we are in NC and everyone else is in NJ no one really knows how screwed up this section of our family is. Then there was the funeral.
It started with about 3 days of arguing, fighting, planning, replanning, etc etc..Who was riding with who, whose car would/wouldnt make it, who would stay with who, who could afford a hotel, who could not. There were several emotional breakdowns and arguments before we ever headed out.
So begins the journey to the North. They all arrived a couple days before me. I have little ones and shaved down my trip so I wouldn't be gone long. Upon my arrival at 10:45p at the Holiday Inn. I was greeted by this haggard looking bunch sitting outside all smoking. It was quite awkward since I hadn't seen or spoken to several of them in years although we all live @ 10 minutes apart. My estranged sister immediately hugged me and I hugged back....okay normal. Then came my mother. She grabs my hand and says simply "walk with me". Oh boy I thought. We walk a bit down the walkway and she begins to cry and tell me that it was my granpops dying wish that she and I made peace. Okay.
So begins all these dramatics and crying and hugging me and such. There is snot dripping from her nose onto my shirt as she clings to me with a death like grip.I try to normally tell her "it's okay mom, everything is fine, lets just focus on why we are here and not make this about us." This type of event goes on for about 20 minutes before I can finally convince her to rejoin the others.
So we begin our walk back and out of the blue she holds our arms to the sky and begins to yell "we did it daddy! We did it. You can rest now." She is extremely loud and making a spectacle of herself. I am horrified as everyone is watching this display.
She then tells me "Now you shout it Raquel"
Seriously? Uh No.
I tried to reason with her and said "Mom, Im sure he knows."
"No you gotta tell him. Scream it. Say look at us grandpop!"
No I will not.
This goes on for 5 minutes, her outburst in front of the hotel, my pleading that that is enough. Before I can break away. All this before I even check in.
Stay tuned to hear about the funeral..It gets so much better.
A little background here. My extended family are really classy upper-class people. They are all college educated, get married for life, homeowners, a close knit group people living the american dream.
Then there is the branch of the tree in which I groweth. My mom, marrried 6+ times to absuive men, an alocholic, she and each of my siblings has had their fair share of a rough life. Because we are in NC and everyone else is in NJ no one really knows how screwed up this section of our family is. Then there was the funeral.
It started with about 3 days of arguing, fighting, planning, replanning, etc etc..Who was riding with who, whose car would/wouldnt make it, who would stay with who, who could afford a hotel, who could not. There were several emotional breakdowns and arguments before we ever headed out.
So begins the journey to the North. They all arrived a couple days before me. I have little ones and shaved down my trip so I wouldn't be gone long. Upon my arrival at 10:45p at the Holiday Inn. I was greeted by this haggard looking bunch sitting outside all smoking. It was quite awkward since I hadn't seen or spoken to several of them in years although we all live @ 10 minutes apart. My estranged sister immediately hugged me and I hugged back....okay normal. Then came my mother. She grabs my hand and says simply "walk with me". Oh boy I thought. We walk a bit down the walkway and she begins to cry and tell me that it was my granpops dying wish that she and I made peace. Okay.
So begins all these dramatics and crying and hugging me and such. There is snot dripping from her nose onto my shirt as she clings to me with a death like grip.I try to normally tell her "it's okay mom, everything is fine, lets just focus on why we are here and not make this about us." This type of event goes on for about 20 minutes before I can finally convince her to rejoin the others.
So we begin our walk back and out of the blue she holds our arms to the sky and begins to yell "we did it daddy! We did it. You can rest now." She is extremely loud and making a spectacle of herself. I am horrified as everyone is watching this display.
She then tells me "Now you shout it Raquel"
Seriously? Uh No.
I tried to reason with her and said "Mom, Im sure he knows."
"No you gotta tell him. Scream it. Say look at us grandpop!"
No I will not.
This goes on for 5 minutes, her outburst in front of the hotel, my pleading that that is enough. Before I can break away. All this before I even check in.
Stay tuned to hear about the funeral..It gets so much better.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Oh, No He Didn't!
Last night my teenage son who is always "accidently" hitting one of the younger kids in the house "accidently" hit one of the younger kids in the house. So in general mom fashion I entered the living room where the offense took place and told my son, "Michael" that he would have to spend the rest of the evening in his room.
Well, he is at that stage where he realizes he is now big as me and could probably take me should it come to that so he is testing his boundaries with me. After I told him to go to his room he took his sweet time getting there. I decided maybe he needed an escort so without touching him I entered his personal space and stated "lets go". As we walked together to his room, a journey that generally takes 10 seconds, took about 10 minutes as he slowly walked at a snails pace to show his ass.
Although completly pissed, I stayed calm realizing that he was attempting to push my buttons. About 5 minutes into the slow paced journey to his room I decided enough was enough so I had him relinquish his ITouch (this is usually equilevelant to the death penalty for him) But for some odd reason he started smarting off. So I suggested to him maybe he shut his mouth. He declined so I removed the XBox 360 from his room. As I detached the dreadful machine he attempted to snatch it from me. OH NO HE DIDN'T!!! So I politely(kinda) suggested he remove his hands from the game system less I get a hammer and smash it to pieces. He did. But continued to run his mouth. Wow!
I then removed his TV. He said "You wanna take this into the hall?" I turned around thinking maybe his brother was standing behind me and he was talking to him. Nope just me. WTF did this boy just challenge me to a fight?!2?/@! As I stared at him in shock, he informed me "that he was a man now and if I wanted to do something about it he was up for the challenge" So I kindly obliged.
I left the room and returned with a belt. Now I hope not to stir up too much controversy with the whole belt/spanking thing but F**K it. Let me say I am generally against spanking and always try to use alternatives when disciplining my kids but this boy did just challenge me to a fight and that was WAY OUTTA LINE and I will not be on the Maury show next season crying that my 15 year old beats my ass. So I did what any other level headed mom would do " I beat his ass. But the shocking part was he didn't even cry! He just took it like a man. I dumbfounded went back to my bedroom to absorb all that had happened. I still am at a loss. My son although sometimes can be testy has never really acted this way. I have always made it clear who the boss was and what my expectations were.
So begins my teenage hell. Stay tuned I have a feeling this is just the beginning.
Well, he is at that stage where he realizes he is now big as me and could probably take me should it come to that so he is testing his boundaries with me. After I told him to go to his room he took his sweet time getting there. I decided maybe he needed an escort so without touching him I entered his personal space and stated "lets go". As we walked together to his room, a journey that generally takes 10 seconds, took about 10 minutes as he slowly walked at a snails pace to show his ass.
Although completly pissed, I stayed calm realizing that he was attempting to push my buttons. About 5 minutes into the slow paced journey to his room I decided enough was enough so I had him relinquish his ITouch (this is usually equilevelant to the death penalty for him) But for some odd reason he started smarting off. So I suggested to him maybe he shut his mouth. He declined so I removed the XBox 360 from his room. As I detached the dreadful machine he attempted to snatch it from me. OH NO HE DIDN'T!!! So I politely(kinda) suggested he remove his hands from the game system less I get a hammer and smash it to pieces. He did. But continued to run his mouth. Wow!
I then removed his TV. He said "You wanna take this into the hall?" I turned around thinking maybe his brother was standing behind me and he was talking to him. Nope just me. WTF did this boy just challenge me to a fight?!2?/@! As I stared at him in shock, he informed me "that he was a man now and if I wanted to do something about it he was up for the challenge" So I kindly obliged.
I left the room and returned with a belt. Now I hope not to stir up too much controversy with the whole belt/spanking thing but F**K it. Let me say I am generally against spanking and always try to use alternatives when disciplining my kids but this boy did just challenge me to a fight and that was WAY OUTTA LINE and I will not be on the Maury show next season crying that my 15 year old beats my ass. So I did what any other level headed mom would do " I beat his ass. But the shocking part was he didn't even cry! He just took it like a man. I dumbfounded went back to my bedroom to absorb all that had happened. I still am at a loss. My son although sometimes can be testy has never really acted this way. I have always made it clear who the boss was and what my expectations were.
So begins my teenage hell. Stay tuned I have a feeling this is just the beginning.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Wish Me Luck!
I decided today, yesterday actually that I am tired of life sucking. Tired of being stressed out, or broke or stressed out about being broke. So I have contacted our local university to see what my options are. I have only a high school education but have had quite a few "degree required" jobs. I was an area supervisor for a start up company that grew to 8 locations before being sold. Great money and great job! I was a project manager for a small construction company and have been a daycare director. It's definitely not what you know but who I knew that enabled me to get these positions but I excelled at each of them. However, I am now back at a dead end hourly job and not even making ends meet and as I have stated before this job is a new business so who even knows if it will last. I am a single mom of 4 and work full-time but I love learning, being challenged, and success so here I go. I am gonna try to go to college... god help me! I had started this process before a couple years ago but backed out because of family obligations. So I'm gonna try again. Wish me luck. I'll keep you posted!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
First Day of Summer Vacation= Trip #1 To The Emergency Room
This past weekend my children and I attended our town carnival which included a BMX stunt bike show. We go every year and this show is our favorite part. It is simply amazing to see these guys do the tricks that they do and if you've never seen one I would recommend it. So it was one of those afternoons where the boys were constantly arguing and wrestling and driving me crazy. So I sent them all outside.
I have 3 sons and 1 daughter. Each of my children is so amazingly different from the next if I hadn't birthed them all myself I would demand a Maternity test. lol
About 30 minutes into play my middle son came in hoping on one foot, it appeared he had been stung by a bee. He was quite upset, though not crying and his foot was swelling. I was busy frying up some dinner so I had one of the other kids research "home remedies for bee stings" on the internet for a cure. We found one, used it and moved on. Disaster dodged. Success! Back outside they all went.
My two older sons are teenagers and one of them is your A-Typical type. Always right, always persuading the littler one to do stuff he is secretly scared to do etc. Well at around 7pm I was doing my window check when I noticed all three boys walking towards the front door, the littlest holding his chin. I thought to myself..."What now?" When I opened the door to ask what had happened he removed his hand to reveal a gaping bleeding gash in his chin.
Apparently he was trying out one of the tricks he had seen this weekend and came crashing down chin first right into the edge of the handlebars creating a nice little gash in his chin that required 3 stitches. If this is what summer has in store for me I am doomed.
I have 3 sons and 1 daughter. Each of my children is so amazingly different from the next if I hadn't birthed them all myself I would demand a Maternity test. lol
About 30 minutes into play my middle son came in hoping on one foot, it appeared he had been stung by a bee. He was quite upset, though not crying and his foot was swelling. I was busy frying up some dinner so I had one of the other kids research "home remedies for bee stings" on the internet for a cure. We found one, used it and moved on. Disaster dodged. Success! Back outside they all went.
My two older sons are teenagers and one of them is your A-Typical type. Always right, always persuading the littler one to do stuff he is secretly scared to do etc. Well at around 7pm I was doing my window check when I noticed all three boys walking towards the front door, the littlest holding his chin. I thought to myself..."What now?" When I opened the door to ask what had happened he removed his hand to reveal a gaping bleeding gash in his chin.
Apparently he was trying out one of the tricks he had seen this weekend and came crashing down chin first right into the edge of the handlebars creating a nice little gash in his chin that required 3 stitches. If this is what summer has in store for me I am doomed.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Check Out My New Shit
I had the most blah, drab, plain blog on the site. Yesterday I finally figured out how to spruce it up a bit. It is a work in progress but nonetheless I have added color, a cartoon, new format and am quite pleased with it. I think I also figured out how to add pics to my post...gonna play around with that today. Let me know what you think. And does anyone know how to add pics to the sides of the blog? Oh and I really need a new name for it, the name is so vanilla,,,,I am brainstorming.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
The Big Update
So I decided since I have no new exciting things to blog about I would revisit my past blogs and provide my huge fan base with updates.
-THE SILVER LINING-
I finally got my ac fixed properly Saturday morning. It was out for 6 weeks. When the ac guys pulled up in their white van I ran out to greet them as if they were the publishers clearing house. It took two hours but now my house is cold! Yeah for me!
-MARIA WTF-
So I've had some time to get used to my new haircut. Still don't like it but have learned some creative ways to style it so I am okay.
-BEWARE OF FACEBOOK-
I ignored crazy lady's request but she keeps asking...3 times now. Take a hint already!
-F**K IT-
I inadvertently added my real info to my secret blog a while back and was worried that would not be a good idea. It's been a couple months and no harm has come my way. It's kinda refreshing.
-I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT-
If you recall I had some run ins with some neighborhood thugs a while back in which at my wits end I decided to threaten to "bust a cap in their asses" should they come back on my property with ill intent. I would never bust a cap on a kid, don't own a gun, and am quite honestly scared of guns. I braced myself for retaliation and.....Nothing! It appears my threats have worked for now.I haven't seen those boys or any other questionable characters around my way in quite some time. :)
-No Thanks-
Basically my job of ten years that treated me like trash to the point I quit, played hard ball for a couple weeks then begged me back. I of course didn't go even though the pay increase was quite tempting. It appears I have made a good choice, I recently found out they haven't paid the centers rent in 6 months and went to court to fight eviction recently. Side note however: My new job isn't picking up as it should either so I hope I made the right choice.
-YOU NEVER KNOW WHERE YOU WILL MEET YOUR NEXT BEST FRIEND-
I had a female procedure done at a hospital which resulted in the tech and I exchanging info and promising to "hook up". She invited me to a party, I was sick and could not go we exchanged emails a few times and talked yesterday briefly. Although, so far she's not my new BFF I do think she will play some role in my life.
-Follow Me-
This particular blog was a desperate attempt to get followers. Guess what? It worked! I have increased my following from 1 to 6. Yipee for me!
So that's my update, hope you enjoyed!
-THE SILVER LINING-
I finally got my ac fixed properly Saturday morning. It was out for 6 weeks. When the ac guys pulled up in their white van I ran out to greet them as if they were the publishers clearing house. It took two hours but now my house is cold! Yeah for me!
-MARIA WTF-
So I've had some time to get used to my new haircut. Still don't like it but have learned some creative ways to style it so I am okay.
-BEWARE OF FACEBOOK-
I ignored crazy lady's request but she keeps asking...3 times now. Take a hint already!
-F**K IT-
I inadvertently added my real info to my secret blog a while back and was worried that would not be a good idea. It's been a couple months and no harm has come my way. It's kinda refreshing.
-I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT-
If you recall I had some run ins with some neighborhood thugs a while back in which at my wits end I decided to threaten to "bust a cap in their asses" should they come back on my property with ill intent. I would never bust a cap on a kid, don't own a gun, and am quite honestly scared of guns. I braced myself for retaliation and.....Nothing! It appears my threats have worked for now.I haven't seen those boys or any other questionable characters around my way in quite some time. :)
-No Thanks-
Basically my job of ten years that treated me like trash to the point I quit, played hard ball for a couple weeks then begged me back. I of course didn't go even though the pay increase was quite tempting. It appears I have made a good choice, I recently found out they haven't paid the centers rent in 6 months and went to court to fight eviction recently. Side note however: My new job isn't picking up as it should either so I hope I made the right choice.
-YOU NEVER KNOW WHERE YOU WILL MEET YOUR NEXT BEST FRIEND-
I had a female procedure done at a hospital which resulted in the tech and I exchanging info and promising to "hook up". She invited me to a party, I was sick and could not go we exchanged emails a few times and talked yesterday briefly. Although, so far she's not my new BFF I do think she will play some role in my life.
-Follow Me-
This particular blog was a desperate attempt to get followers. Guess what? It worked! I have increased my following from 1 to 6. Yipee for me!
So that's my update, hope you enjoyed!
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
The Silver Lining
I am still without AC!! It's getting hotter and hotter and anyone from North Carolina knows that our Summer heat is an added pain because it comes with a ridiculous dose of humidity.
First my ex came and cleaned/serviced the unit and it worked slightly for a day then crashed. At that point we assumed it was in need of freon. We had a ac company come to put freon in but the tech guy said that the compressor was too hot and he would have to return in the morning to add the freon. Which he did but somehow the electric panel it is connected to blew up.
It took me two days to figure that out, and another two days to secure a visit from an electrician. The electrician rewired everything and the ac worked for two days then we had a cool down period of a week. So when the temperature heated up and I turned the ac on it seemed to work, I left my home and returned later to one helluva hot house and the thermostat was reading 84 degrees!!
So I placed another call to have the ac people come back out and now i need a TXC OR PVC or what the fuck ever part and of course that was discovered at the end of last week. So we ran into the weekend and then a holiday and the part is on back order. So we are burning in an eternal hell!! It is HOT HOT HOT!!
Silver Lining- Got my light bill, it is only $100 instead of the usual $200 plus!
First my ex came and cleaned/serviced the unit and it worked slightly for a day then crashed. At that point we assumed it was in need of freon. We had a ac company come to put freon in but the tech guy said that the compressor was too hot and he would have to return in the morning to add the freon. Which he did but somehow the electric panel it is connected to blew up.
It took me two days to figure that out, and another two days to secure a visit from an electrician. The electrician rewired everything and the ac worked for two days then we had a cool down period of a week. So when the temperature heated up and I turned the ac on it seemed to work, I left my home and returned later to one helluva hot house and the thermostat was reading 84 degrees!!
So I placed another call to have the ac people come back out and now i need a TXC OR PVC or what the fuck ever part and of course that was discovered at the end of last week. So we ran into the weekend and then a holiday and the part is on back order. So we are burning in an eternal hell!! It is HOT HOT HOT!!
Silver Lining- Got my light bill, it is only $100 instead of the usual $200 plus!
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