Thursday, June 24, 2010

The Funeral...Part 1

On April 15th this year my beloved grandpop passed. He lived in NJ. This is where the majority of my family is from and resides.

A little background here. My extended family are really classy upper-class people. They are all college educated, get married for life, homeowners, a close knit group people living the american dream.

Then there is the branch of the tree in which I groweth. My mom, marrried 6+ times to absuive men, an alocholic, she and each of my siblings has had their fair share of a rough life. Because we are in NC and everyone else is in NJ no one really knows how screwed up this section of our family is. Then there was the funeral.

It started with about 3 days of arguing, fighting, planning, replanning, etc etc..Who was riding with who, whose car would/wouldnt make it, who would stay with who, who could afford a hotel, who could not. There were several emotional breakdowns and arguments before we ever headed out.

So begins the journey to the North. They all arrived a couple days before me. I have little ones and shaved down my trip so I wouldn't be gone long. Upon my arrival at 10:45p at the Holiday Inn. I was greeted by this haggard looking bunch sitting outside all smoking. It was quite awkward since I hadn't seen or spoken to several of them in years although we all live @ 10 minutes apart. My estranged sister immediately hugged me and I hugged back....okay normal. Then came my mother. She grabs my hand and says simply "walk with me". Oh boy I thought. We walk a bit down the walkway and she begins to cry and tell me that it was my granpops dying wish that she and I made peace. Okay.

So begins all these dramatics and crying and hugging me and such. There is snot dripping from her nose onto my shirt as she clings to me with a death like grip.I try to normally tell her "it's okay mom, everything is fine, lets just focus on why we are here and not make this about us." This type of event goes on for about 20 minutes before I can finally convince her to rejoin the others.

So we begin our walk back and out of the blue she holds our arms to the sky and begins to yell "we did it daddy! We did it. You can rest now." She is extremely loud and making a spectacle of herself. I am horrified as everyone is watching this display.

She then tells me "Now you shout it Raquel"
Seriously? Uh No.
I tried to reason with her and said "Mom, Im sure he knows."
"No you gotta tell him. Scream it. Say look at us grandpop!"
No I will not.

This goes on for 5 minutes, her outburst in front of the hotel, my pleading that that is enough. Before I can break away. All this before I even check in.

Stay tuned to hear about the funeral..It gets so much better.


  1. I'm sorry about your Grandfathers passing.

    I know this is not a good memory for you but I have to say it makes me feel better that I am not the only one with crazies in my family.

    Misery does love company Raquel. :-)

  2. Oh dear we haven't even gotten to the crazy part yet.