Tuesday, August 30, 2011

I Really Gotta Work On That

Last week, one late afternoon I opened my front door to check the mail and Bam! The neighbor was mere feet away from my porch. See she parks her car on the front lawn because "she doesn't want to be in danger of being attacked by the Mexicans" If she parks in the parking area out back she feels the lighting is not suffice and she is in danger.
Although I have been parking in the lot behind our home for years. Not once had I ever been attacked by "the Mexicans". LOL She claims the lighting is not suffice in the back. The lighting is fine. What is it with this lady and lights? Personally, I think she is just too lazy to walk the 15 steps from the lot to the door. So she pulls her car right up to her front door and that is where she parks it. Unsightly because we share a front yard and her car is the main attraction on the lawn. And when she actually does goes anywhere the grass is all dead and brown underneath it and it is such an eye sore but whatever. (Wow I guess I  had to rant on that.) I really am just trying to explain why she is right at my front door when I open it.
Anyhoo, there she was. I stammered caught off guard. You see it is so hard to get away from her once she gets going. I said hi and she said "Oh I need to see you! Thank goodness you came out!" "See" I say all smarty pants and spin around so she can get a full view. (bitchy huh? and I am not even PMSing) . Sigh, Why can't I just check my mail in peace?
I make a lil small talk and she tells me she needs me to come over that it is important. Going into her home is like a trip to that Hotel California place in that song. You can come in but you never get out. But what could I say? Unable to come up with an excuse fast enough I just gave in and went in.
She asked me to sit down and she went to fetch a small trunk. All I could think about was the time I came over and she went through her families entire history with me showing me photos and such. She sits down and unfolds this blue velvet cloth. Attached to the cloth are many forms of jewelry.
 She starts pulling each piece out and telling me its history. Awesome another history lesson! I can hardly contain my excitement. None of the jewelry appears real it is all costume jewelry. But much of it is very pretty. She then hands me a pair of earrings and says "I want you to have these." Although they were not real they were beautiful. I said "No way I'm not taking your jewelry." By the time I say that she has chosen 5 other pieces to give me, all really pretty. She pulls a few more pieces from her collection and explains that she has to sell them off for cash but a couple pieces she cannot bear to sell to a stranger. She says her momma gave them to her to pass down to her daughter someday and since she never had one I am the closest thing to a daughter for her and she wants me to have them.  Silence from me.

Yes, I felt like shit! I immediately think of all the blogging I have done about her. So much that I was considering renaming my blog THE NEIGHBOR. I thought of how mean I am sometimes and I feel like shit. I do not deserve her cherished heirlooms and I try to decline taking them but she insists. So I took them. 8 pairs of earrings, 2 bracelets, 2 toe rings, 2 anklets. Real cute stuff. She tried to give me some pins but I explained to her that they really would not be worn and would not see the light of day if she gave them to me. Women in their 30's don't wear breast pins. You guys don't.... do you?
Anyway. I felt bad. She does have a good heart and means well. I just need to be more patient. I'ma work on that.


  1. ....tee hee ...she found your weak spot....this old lady is shifty and smart isn't she?

  2. "..attacked by the Mexicans.."
    LOL a trillion times.

    "closest thing to a daughter"
    As she (you) gets sucked in deeper and deeper and....

  3. Agree with the others. Though I would watch it, she might come back and ask for money as in the value of each piece you took.

  4. Yeah, I thought I heard a giant sucking sound coming from your part of the country. She's probably just setting you up to say you "stole" them so she can put her moves on your man!

    Hmmm, when did I become so cynical?

  5. I thought for a minute like Mamma has spoken said that she would bill you for the jewelry!

  6. Oh Roc, Roc, Roc. If you accept the jewelry from her, I am telling you ....you will be her life-long prisoner. Her 24/7 bitch. Take it from me in writing. (Oh, I just did).

  7. Oh Raquel, good for you though for seeing what she was trying to say. A lot of people would have used this as another opportunity to put her down, ie. Make fun of the jewellery. You are very classy. And now you got new bling to boot!...and no, I'm not familiar with anyone who wears pins, but hey, you can trend it!

  8. Thats why I love all you guys and gals. Here I was feeling all bad and stuff but no need you guys agree that she is crafty. Your comments all crack me up.

    Sundar...tooooooo late!