Friday, August 12, 2011

Who Does That?

Saturday night I get a facebook message, my friend from years ago that had moved is back; just got in last night and wants to come by the next day. I am excited that she is back however I had plans already for the next day. So she asks if she can come pick up one of my sons to spend the day with her and her son tomorrow. I say sure. Plans are made. 
The next day there is a knock on the door. Her son (13 years old now) enters. Mind you, I have not seen this family since he was 8? I say hi and get the greetings out of the way. It is just him so I am assuming his mom is parking. After 5 minutes no mom enters so I ask him "Daniel, where is your mom?" "Oh she went to pick up a friend" he says. I'm thinking he's joking so I get up and look out the window, no mom. I am shocked that she did not come in or tell me she would be dropping Daniel off. I am shocked and a little irritated. 
15 minutes later my friend arrives and in tow is a guy that many years ago she hung out with. A guy she knows that I dislike very much. She informs me that he will be joining them on their outing. I share my concerns with her about the dude and she tells me that he has changed so much and really gotten his life together. Apparently he had been a good friend to her over the years. Although I still don't like him, I relent.
So off they go. A couple hours later I am knee deep in laundry, I have 4 different pots going on the stove, a toddler  in the tub, and mop water ready to go. I had been cleaning all day and cooking a big meal. It is Sunday and all my kids are home and I wanted to have a big Sunday family dinner. They return and I spend 15 minutes being social and then explain that I have lots of housework to do so I must excuse myself to get busy. hint hint Oh okay she says and continues chatting with her friend ( the one I do not like) meanwhile I am folding laundry and cooking. I need to get the floors mopped prior to dinner and I need to get the linens changed in the back of the house but of course I cannot just leave people sitting in my living room. So I hint a bit more to no avail.
After a while she asks if I want to go walking. "Umm, no I am getting ready to have dinner with my family" I say. Hint Hint "Oh how nice" she says. She proceeds to tell me she has temporarily moved back to her parents and just can't stand being there so she has to have a "go-to place" to regain her sanity. Apparently I am the planned "go-to place." While I sympathize with that. I so am not the place. I work full time, four kids...................why do I feel like I say that in every post? Like that is my name, Hi, I am Raquel-Work-Full-Time-Have-Four-Kids. 
Another 45 minutes passes my dinner has been done and is sitting on the stove. The freshness draining away each moment. I do not want to eat in front of them. I  do not have enough to invite them to stay and I am hungry, my kids are hungry but my company is just not getting the hint.

They continue to hang out socializing. I am becoming more annoyed by the second. I worked hard on that dinner and it is drying out on the stove while I await every ones exit. Finally I try a more direct approach and list off all the stuff I have to do including feeding my kids. She still seemed oblivious. Her friend then says he needs to get going. Thank God I think. But then she says to my horror. "I'm gonna run him home and I'll be back to hang out". "No!" I almost yell. "No hanging out tonight for me." I stammer as she looks at me horridly. A light pops on and she says "oh we are intruding huh?" "Yes" I say honestly.  As soon as I do I see the hurt in her face and I feel very rude after all she just got in from another state last night. I have not seen her in years but come on! She then asks if her son can stay over. I truly am not in the mood for more kids but I figure she did take my kids skating so... I say sure and the plans are set for her to return in the morning to pick up Daniel while I am at work.
The next day I return form work and enter my home to a stank ass smell. "What is that?" I immediately ask my boys. I continue sniffing around "it smells like a wet nasty dog in here" I say disgusted at the scent. My son then tells me "Oh Lisa brought her dog in when she came to pick up Daniel." What the hell? Who does that? I have no pets and care to have no animals running around inside my house. I did not know if the dog has fleas, shots whatever! And either way I do not want animals in my house. I am furious. I yell at my boys for letting her bring the dog in and that's when my oldest says "well you can take that up with Lisa she says they will be back around 6."

The next day I did not hear from Lisa. It was my intent when I spoke with her to make a planned time to get together. I am totally not trying to dis my friend but she is a carefree unscheduled spirit. I am not. I decide I am too exhausted to try to do anything more than what must be done around the house. The boys go for a sleepover and I am looking forward to a quiet relaxing night with David. We put the little ones to bed and make plans for romance. I run a much needed bubble bath. I am so looking forward to a nice evening.
It is 845p. I lower myself into the relaxing bubbles, put my feet up and reach for my wine glass ready to unwind. Just as I exhale I realize that I forgot to get my scrubby. So I holler for David. 
Mason comes instead and says "dads outside". I ask "outside for what?" "Oh Lisa's here" he says "WTH! Lisa's here now?" I ask. "Yup" he says "her and Daniel". I check the clock its almost 9pm WTF? I get up at 5a to go to work. I have kids in school that go to bed at 8. Who does that? I am fuming and panicked thinking I am gonna have to ditch my bath and deal with this and I am so not in the mood. As I sit there frantically trying to figure out a nice way to disappoint her yet again David enters. I brace myself for him to say Lisa's in the living room. But he tells me he told her I was in the tub and she left. He says she looked disappointed. I feel bad but seriously I am too busy for this ish. 
Dodged the bullet that night but I will have to face this sooner or later. Just glad its not tonight. 


  1. It's hard sometimes, I know, to see from another person's perspective. But it's harder on the recipient when we want to be cordial, nice, accommodating -- but it just doesn't fit into where we are in our day or life. Lisa is likely highly clueless and unless you spell it out like you had to when she asked if they were intruding, she's not gonna get it (she was likely asking that question not expecting you to say "yes.").

    I say have a heart to heart w/Lisa. Tell her you value her friendship. You understand where she is in her life at the moment, rebuilding, etc. But explain the boundaries; you are, after all, Raquel who works full time and has four kids. :o) (But also tell her you ain't gots no damn dogs for a reason. Stank ass smell when you walk in the door...uh uh.)

  2. I agree wholeheartedly with Arnebya, if you don't nip this in the bu now you'll eventually lose it and that might hurt a friendship you want. (but ixnay on the ogday, no dogs allowed!)

  3. This needs to stop. Yesterday. I'm sure she's a sweet girl and a lovely friend but one with absolutely no boundaries. You have to set them or she will forever be walking in your front door like she owns the place.

    And ewwww on dog smell. That's just rude.

  4. WTF? I am thoroughly with you...Moochers?

  5. With what you have said, totally agree with those above me. She is going to use you AND your house if you don't put a stop to it now.
    Good Luck with all of it!

  6. I agree with all the comments. Roc, WTH? What's with this uncanny ability of yours to attract total wierdos whether they be next-door neighbors or old friends??? Hmm?

  7. This is exactly why I can't really keep friends with kids. LOL I think I am a free-spirit and I don't schedule that much of my social life. I am all about last minute dinners and random pop ins. However, I don't bother my friends with kids. I do have respect! Oh, and I can absolutely take a hint if someone is buy!

  8. I have no kids and I hate random pop ins and people just thinking they can pop into my life unannounced!

    You are much nicer than me as I have said before.
    I wouldn't hint. I would say it plain and simple. I'm sorry your mom drives you crazy but I can't be the go to house anymore (insert name)
    I have 4 kids, a full time job, I get up at 5a and I have to get kids in bed and do a plethora of chores in between. I love to see you but we can't just stop our routines I'm sorry.
    See I'm a witch aren't I?