You guys took too long to advise me and I could not help myself. I called her. Most people would have and did tell me to leave well enough alone. But I can't stand being in the dark about things and I felt like RA was not giving me the entire story. I could hold back no longer. I called her. I called her and wanted to know everything. Well, she told me everything. Why did I do that? I just had to know. It hurt. It hurt real bad hearing all the details of their love affair. It appeared it was way more serious than I ever thought and way more serious then RA let on. It is amazing how when two scorned women get together on some things the stuff that will come out.
He had apparently lied to her as much as he lied to me. He had truly been living a double life. It is really like a Lifetime movie and against my wishes I am a main character.
The funny thing was while I was listening to her tell me how he would explain his and my situation it was very reminiscent of things he would tell me about his ex wife when he and I first got together. He must be following a handbook or something. There had been so many times right in front of my eyes that he called her or texted her. Of course he told me it was his mom or brother etc. So many times we were together and he was feeding her bullshit and so many times that they were together and he was feeding me bullshit. RA has caused me much grief in my days but this takes the cake. I seriously became ill after speaking with her. She had met my children, has pics and videos of them. Has met his entire family, his coworkers, his friends. I wonder how stupid those people must think I am? I wonder why no one even gave me a hint?
I am a glutton for punishment. I knew when I called her it would not be good for me but I had to know. I had to know every little detail. I am just that way. I would rather get stabbed head on over and over than be betrayed. So although it killed me I listened to every word she said. And I believe every word she said. I know that she is telling me the truth and the smart girl had proof just in case I did not believe her. It was just horrible but needed to be done. After we talked over an hour I was just drained. My boys are away and the baby was asleep so I confronted RA about it all. And there were fights, there was yelling, there was crying it was real bad. I could not move on without knowing and now I know.
Ironically, I like her. Although she knew he was cheating in the beginning she was sold a whole bunch of lies and I can't help her for believing him. Hell I believed him and I know him. She apologized for her part and for that I thank her. She is a good person that just got caught in the middle of our mess. Where do I go from here? Lord only knows. I am still in shock and actually just wanna forget everything for a few days but I can't. I am going to have one hell of a rough time ahead of me as I try to sort this all out and make major decisions about my life, but I am strong. And I will get through this. Here's hoping she does too.