I Really Gotta Work On That

Last week, one late afternoon I opened my front door to check the mail and Bam! The neighbor was mere feet away from my porch. See she parks her car on the front lawn because "she doesn't want to be in danger of being attacked by the Mexicans" If she parks in the parking area out back she feels the lighting is not suffice and she is in danger.
Although I have been parking in the lot behind our home for years. Not once had I ever been attacked by "the Mexicans". LOL She claims the lighting is not suffice in the back. The lighting is fine. What is it with this lady and lights? Personally, I think she is just too lazy to walk the 15 steps from the lot to the door. So she pulls her car right up to her front door and that is where she parks it. Unsightly because we share a front yard and her car is the main attraction on the lawn. And when she actually does goes anywhere the grass is all dead and brown underneath it and it is such an eye sore but whatever. (Wow I guess I  had to rant on that.) I really am just trying to explain why she is right at my front door when I open it.
Anyhoo, there she was. I stammered caught off guard. You see it is so hard to get away from her once she gets going. I said hi and she said "Oh I need to see you! Thank goodness you came out!" "See" I say all smarty pants and spin around so she can get a full view. (bitchy huh? and I am not even PMSing) . Sigh, Why can't I just check my mail in peace?
I make a lil small talk and she tells me she needs me to come over that it is important. Going into her home is like a trip to that Hotel California place in that song. You can come in but you never get out. But what could I say? Unable to come up with an excuse fast enough I just gave in and went in.
She asked me to sit down and she went to fetch a small trunk. All I could think about was the time I came over and she went through her families entire history with me showing me photos and such. She sits down and unfolds this blue velvet cloth. Attached to the cloth are many forms of jewelry.

 She starts pulling each piece out and telling me its history. Awesome another history lesson! I can hardly contain my excitement. None of the jewelry appears real it is all costume jewelry. But much of it is very pretty. She then hands me a pair of earrings and says "I want you to have these." Although they were not real they were beautiful. I said "No way I'm not taking your jewelry." By the time I say that she has chosen 5 other pieces to give me, all really pretty. She pulls a few more pieces from her collection and explains that she has to sell them off for cash but a couple pieces she cannot bear to sell to a stranger. She says her momma gave them to her to pass down to her daughter someday and since she never had one I am the closest thing to a daughter for her and she wants me to have them.  Silence from me.


Yes, I felt like shit! I immediately think of all the blogging I have done about her. So much that I was considering renaming my blog THE NEIGHBOR. I thought of how mean I am sometimes and I feel like shit. I do not deserve her cherished heirlooms and I try to decline taking them but she insists. So I took them. 8 pairs of earrings, 2 bracelets, 2 toe rings, 2 anklets. Real cute stuff. She tried to give me some pins but I explained to her that they really would not be worn and would not see the light of day if she gave them to me. Women in their 30's don't wear breast pins. You guys don't.... do you?
Anyway. I felt bad. She does have a good heart and means well. I just need to be more patient. I'ma work on that.

The Erotic CookOut???????????????????

So last weekend we decided to have a campfire in the yard with the kids. The plan was to build a fire pit and hang with the kids. Let them roast weenies on a stick and marshmallows. We would catch lightning bugs and ride bikes in the dark etc. Then after the kiddos wore down we would have some adult time to drink some wine and talk. 

Well RA is an outdoor guy and I am not. It is not uncommon for him to go out late with the kids and do things like that. Since I am usually in need of a break I will generally let him hang out with the kids late in the yard and I would enjoy some much needed alone time. In the past when RA is outside the neighbor who is attention starved will hang out there with him and I like that because it kept both of them out of my hair for a couple hours. 

This evening was different. I had planned on being out with everyone. So RA headed outside at dusk to build the fire pit and get some things together. I was indoors preparing snacks and activities. I noticed the neighbor come out and talk to him and I guess she thought it would be another night of them hanging out. As I prepared the snacks I noticed the neighbor bringing things out too. I was cool with that I figured we would give her attention as we were planning to do with the kids and then she would be out of our hair for the evening. I think she had other plans. 

I came out to bring the plate of snacks and noticed that the neighbor had brought out a table and filled it with candles. I thought "how nice of her". As I set my kids toys up and such I noticed on the table there was a bottle of wine. I continued on with the work of getting things together and apparently she did as well because 15 minutes later when I came back out I saw that she had not only set out candles and wine but she had brought a CD player out???I thought to myself, she has just joined right in and laughed a little. But as the night darkened, I noticed something about the setup. It was mighty damn romantic. Candles, wine, and on the CD player she had a Barry White CD playing? 

Odd cookout music I thought. But the most interesting thing I noticed was she had only brought out two chairs...one for her and one for RA. It appeared she has set up a lil special evening for her and a special someone. Once I came out she seemed surprised. "oh didn't expect to see you out here tonight" she said. "Oh yeah this was actually my idea" I informed her. "Oh well I guess I wont intrude" she said sounding very disappointed. Which I found odd since she had obviously been excited about hanging out here before my presence was known. I said to her "oh please stay, enjoy some wine and have some grilled food and just hang for a bit. You obviously have gone through a bit of trouble" I looked over at the romantic set up trying not to laugh. She agreed to stay. She and I sipped wine under the tree while the kids played and RA cooked. She had not had that much wine but what really annoyed me is that she spent the entire time raving about the RA. How he was such a good dad, and a good cook, and how handsome he was and blah blah blah.. which I found odd since  things with the RA and I were on uneasy terms and she knew that. She and I had held a few "trash him sessions".

Suddenly she was his biggest fan. I was sipping wine so I found this entertaining. I watched her stare at him and rave about him and call upon him to do everything. She has made a nickname for him...DA-Veed- A fancy way of saying David. Every 5 minutes or so she would holler out "OH DA-Veed, can you pour me some wine? OH  Da-Veed can you help me get this tip open? OH Da-Veed can you make me a burger?" etc. It was ridiculous but hen she reached a ridiculous point where she hollered out "Oh Da-Veed can you spray my Tootsies with bug spray?" RA if nothing else is a super friendly nice guy so he was rushing around trying to fulfill all her requests and when she asked hm to spray her feet off he looked confused. Because come on even though she acts 90 she is in her 50's and perfectly capable of pouring her own wine and spraying her own feet but the whole scene was entertaining.

He took the bug spray and she cocked back into her chair and raised her feet right up. 

RA sprayed and she began this erotic yelping and moaning that was just wrong on so many levels. It was like "Oh, yes, yes! Ummm, ahhh, Da-Veed it feels so good, Ohh, Oh, ahhh, Mmmm!" It was really outta control and inappropriate but we both knew she is a lil loopy so we just ignored her. But she writhed in her chair with pure ecstasy and it was very uncomfortable. Anyhoo, not long after that I shooed her away because seriously enough was enough.

But OMG what a freaking side show!

One Friend Down

So back to my "friends". If you recall I was getting overwhelmed with my new found friends and was trying desperately to maintain the balance of what I needed to do as a mom and a woman yet keep my friendships. After turning down many offers to hang out, an opportunity came where three of my neglected friends were all meeting up at the pool for dinner and swimming. I really did not feel up to it but then decided this would be a great way to get time in with all of them at once. Hey I could even invite my friend that just moved back to NC. She is living close to the the pool we all go to and I could use my guest pass.
I contacted my friends at the pool to let them know I would be bringing Lisa and her son and was excited for them to meet her as well. I then called Lisa and invited her and Daniel along. She said they would be there. Then I loaded up my family and headed for the pool.
When I arrived at the pool it was a lil awkward. See my friends all try to get along for my sake but they secretly don't like each other much. I was hoping that with time they would grow on each other. I was there maybe 10 minutes when in walked Daniel. "Hi Daniel!" I said. I noticed no mom was with him. "Daniel is your mom parking the car?" I ask. "I don't know" he replies. Five minutes later, no Lisa, so I say to Daniel again "where is your mom?" "oh she left" he says. "What do you mean she left?"  I ask. "She had some stuff to do." he says simply. "Is she coming back" I asked. "I think so" he says. "Well what did she say? Where did she go?" I hit him with a barrage of questions. I just cannot believe again that Lisa dropped her kid off and did not tell me anything. This behavior is so unlike the Lisa I knew before. She would never even let the boy out of her sight.
My friends pick up on the situation and have lots to say. 
"Where is your friend?" they ask sarcastically. 
"Is she coming?"
"Did she just drop him off?" 
"Did she ask you to watch him?" 
All reasonable questions that I did not have the answers to. I'm thinking maybe she forgot something at home or went to get food. Surely, Lisa will be here any minute, I assure them. An hour passes no Lisa. I'm getting annoyed at this. An hour later the pool is closing in 45 minutes so I call Lisa.
She answers and I say "hey where are you?" "At home resting" she says. "Oh I thought you were coming to the pool" "Naw" she says. "Oh... well.... okay... it would have been nice if you'd told me I'd have to watch Daniel" I say to her. "You don't. They have lifeguards there." she informs me. "Hmmm, alright" I say. Then there is a silence. She says "why is he a problem?" Clearly not getting the point. "No not at all" I say "but I thought you were coming too." "No, hadn't planned on it"  she says. "Well you are coming to pick him up right?" I ask "Oh I thought I'd get him from your house later, that way we can hang out a bit" she informs me. "I really had not planned on having company and I came out to spend time with you but you left"  I say. There is another loooong silence. "Well I'll just come over and get him now" she says clearly upset. "No he's fine, hell the pool closes in 45 minutes anyways and I am leaving when they close just make sure you are here by then" I am ready to hang up because this is not going well. "Nope I'll just come now" she insists.  We hang up. My other friend who overhears this convo, let's call her Mary, says "that's messed up she just dumped her kid off and did not tell you anything?" I just sit there not knowing what to say. "Are you mad?" Mary asks me. "I'm not mad, just irritated" I say thinking this is why I don't do the "socializing thing"
15 minutes later Lisa shows up. The reception from my friends is less than friendly. They have decided they do not like Lisa already. I can't blame them, that was not a good first impression. I try to small talk with Lisa because the tension is so obvious. Eventually the pool closes and we are headed out to our cars. Lisa asks if my son can go home with her and Danial for a sleepover. I say that would be fine but he has no clothes. "Oh that's okay, I'll follow you home and you can get him some" Lisa offers. Mary overhears this exchange and in her attempt  to save me from unwanted company she interjects "You are not going home Roc are you?" Lisa gives her a look.  I had already told Lisa I was going home, but of course Mary did not know that. It is now obvious to everyone what is going on. Lisa is well aware that I am trying to avoid having her come over. AKWARD. Again it had nothing at all to do with Lisa I was just done for the day. We had been at the pool for hours it was 8 o'clock, I had kids to settle and I was tired too. I stammer to recover form Mary's lie that was picked up on by Lisa and I say "Oh Mary I changed plans, I am going home, Lisa just follow me home and well get his clothes" I say and off we go.
When I pull up to my home Lisa is there waiting in her truck. I had stopped by Mcd's to get the kids some ice cream. I pull up and tell Marlon to quickly pack as to not keep Lisa waiting much more. I hop out of my van and tell Lisa come on in, "No she says, I will wait out here" she says. "No come on in" I insist. "No you made it clear you do not want company and I will respect that and wait nicely out here". Sound of crickets chirping as I do not know what to say to that. I try again to convince her to come in I feel compelled to explain, "its not that you cannot come in, I just am not up for company." I try to explain. "I understand. I will wait out here." She says.Which she did. And with the exception of her dropping off my son the next day I have not heard from her in a couple weeks.  And I have upset yet another friend. But don't worry in the next couple weeks I manage to upset pretty much all of them one by one. Hence why I prefer to have very few friends.
Here is what my future will soon be like.

Who Does That?

Saturday night I get a facebook message, my friend from years ago that had moved is back; just got in last night and wants to come by the next day. I am excited that she is back however I had plans already for the next day. So she asks if she can come pick up one of my sons to spend the day with her and her son tomorrow. I say sure. Plans are made. 
The next day there is a knock on the door. Her son (13 years old now) enters. Mind you, I have not seen this family since he was 8? I say hi and get the greetings out of the way. It is just him so I am assuming his mom is parking. After 5 minutes no mom enters so I ask him "Daniel, where is your mom?" "Oh she went to pick up a friend" he says. I'm thinking he's joking so I get up and look out the window, no mom. I am shocked that she did not come in or tell me she would be dropping Daniel off. I am shocked and a little irritated. 
15 minutes later my friend arrives and in tow is a guy that many years ago she hung out with. A guy she knows that I dislike very much. She informs me that he will be joining them on their outing. I share my concerns with her about the dude and she tells me that he has changed so much and really gotten his life together. Apparently he had been a good friend to her over the years. Although I still don't like him, I relent.
So off they go. A couple hours later I am knee deep in laundry, I have 4 different pots going on the stove, a toddler  in the tub, and mop water ready to go. I had been cleaning all day and cooking a big meal. It is Sunday and all my kids are home and I wanted to have a big Sunday family dinner. They return and I spend 15 minutes being social and then explain that I have lots of housework to do so I must excuse myself to get busy. hint hint Oh okay she says and continues chatting with her friend ( the one I do not like) meanwhile I am folding laundry and cooking. I need to get the floors mopped prior to dinner and I need to get the linens changed in the back of the house but of course I cannot just leave people sitting in my living room. So I hint a bit more to no avail.
After a while she asks if I want to go walking. "Umm, no I am getting ready to have dinner with my family" I say. Hint Hint "Oh how nice" she says. She proceeds to tell me she has temporarily moved back to her parents and just can't stand being there so she has to have a "go-to place" to regain her sanity. Apparently I am the planned "go-to place." While I sympathize with that. I so am not the place. I work full time, four kids...................why do I feel like I say that in every post? Like that is my name, Hi, I am Raquel-Work-Full-Time-Have-Four-Kids. 
Another 45 minutes passes my dinner has been done and is sitting on the stove. The freshness draining away each moment. I do not want to eat in front of them. I  do not have enough to invite them to stay and I am hungry, my kids are hungry but my company is just not getting the hint.


They continue to hang out socializing. I am becoming more annoyed by the second. I worked hard on that dinner and it is drying out on the stove while I await every ones exit. Finally I try a more direct approach and list off all the stuff I have to do including feeding my kids. She still seemed oblivious. Her friend then says he needs to get going. Thank God I think. But then she says to my horror. "I'm gonna run him home and I'll be back to hang out". "No!" I almost yell. "No hanging out tonight for me." I stammer as she looks at me horridly. A light pops on and she says "oh we are intruding huh?" "Yes" I say honestly.  As soon as I do I see the hurt in her face and I feel very rude after all she just got in from another state last night. I have not seen her in years but come on! She then asks if her son can stay over. I truly am not in the mood for more kids but I figure she did take my kids skating so... I say sure and the plans are set for her to return in the morning to pick up Daniel while I am at work.
The next day I return form work and enter my home to a stank ass smell. "What is that?" I immediately ask my boys. I continue sniffing around "it smells like a wet nasty dog in here" I say disgusted at the scent. My son then tells me "Oh Lisa brought her dog in when she came to pick up Daniel." What the hell? Who does that? I have no pets and care to have no animals running around inside my house. I did not know if the dog has fleas, shots whatever! And either way I do not want animals in my house. I am furious. I yell at my boys for letting her bring the dog in and that's when my oldest says "well you can take that up with Lisa she says they will be back around 6."

The next day I did not hear from Lisa. It was my intent when I spoke with her to make a planned time to get together. I am totally not trying to dis my friend but she is a carefree unscheduled spirit. I am not. I decide I am too exhausted to try to do anything more than what must be done around the house. The boys go for a sleepover and I am looking forward to a quiet relaxing night with David. We put the little ones to bed and make plans for romance. I run a much needed bubble bath. I am so looking forward to a nice evening.
It is 845p. I lower myself into the relaxing bubbles, put my feet up and reach for my wine glass ready to unwind. Just as I exhale I realize that I forgot to get my scrubby. So I holler for David. 
Mason comes instead and says "dads outside". I ask "outside for what?" "Oh Lisa's here" he says "WTH! Lisa's here now?" I ask. "Yup" he says "her and Daniel". I check the clock its almost 9pm WTF? I get up at 5a to go to work. I have kids in school that go to bed at 8. Who does that? I am fuming and panicked thinking I am gonna have to ditch my bath and deal with this and I am so not in the mood. As I sit there frantically trying to figure out a nice way to disappoint her yet again David enters. I brace myself for him to say Lisa's in the living room. But he tells me he told her I was in the tub and she left. He says she looked disappointed. I feel bad but seriously I am too busy for this ish. 
Dodged the bullet that night but I will have to face this sooner or later. Just glad its not tonight. 

Friends?????

I have been MIA...Miss me? 
Sure ya did. 
Please allow me to explain. Work picked up quite a bit for me, and I was given a marketing assignment with a deadline and since I hate marketing that took a lot of time but now I am back and hopefully I can stay back.
Just as I have neglected my blog apparently I have neglected my friends as well. I know that a while ago I posted about how I had very few friends and liked it that way. Well that changed. See, a new girl started on my job a couple months ago and really pursued being friends with me. She was so nice and so persistent that I decided what the hell? She is the type of person that stays out of her house ALL day into the night. She gets the kids out early and they do not return home until bedtime. Me,,,I love being at home but upon her insistence that I was "missing out on life" I decided to try her lifestyle out for a while. And just like her and with her I stayed going, going, going. Pretty much for an entire month. Every day. It was work then gym and then pool. Weekends were full of pool parties and barbecues. All fun stuff but meanwhile my home was neglected........

An accurate pic of what my home looked like while I tried living in the moment.

my kids never ate so much bbq and sandwich meat. We ran outta clean socks, the linens rarely got changed, I was way behind on my TV shows and my blogging and I was dead tired.

Finally I decided enough was enough and pulled back. No more hanging out til bedtime for me and my kids. No more pool 6 days a week, no more anything . I stopped cold turkey because seriously I was living someone else life. I am a scheduled-stay-at-homer. I enjoy life but do not have a "zest" for it. I have no desire to "make every minute count". That is just not me! I'm not an an adventurous type that lives in the moment. In my defense I work full time and have four kids. None of my friends have that load on them. But boy when I stopped hanging out it caused controversy. The friends I had been hanging out with took it personally and even after I explained that I just don't enjoy being out every night it did not seem to help. Add to that the fact that one of my dear friends from the past that had moved out of state returned and wanted to spend all her time with me in the middle of me taking my life back.
At least daily I would get 10 calls/texts from a group of 4 women wondering when I would have time to hang out? Or how come I'm not at the pool? Or when can we go walking? How about breakfast? After I declined every offer the unannounced visits to my home started . And boy let me tell ya I hate unannounced visitors to my home! Despise them! Would rather die than have someone bust by unannounced. If you call me and I don't answer either I'm busy or do not want to be bothered! Ugggghh!!!
I try so hard to be nice, but damn.
So anyhoo I have some stories for y'all about all these "friends " of mine and the complications but won't try to put them all here in this post. In addition to that I have been to the urologist and that too is a post :) And of course an update on David and kiddy stories so trust me I got the goods I just need to have time to post them. 
Just wanted people to know I was still around and ask does anyone else hate friends as much as me? Okay I don't hate them but does anyone else feel friendships are more a hassle then anything else? Or do I just have needy friends? Why do I feel like friends are another chore on my to do list? I have fun with them when I'm with them for the most part but it just never seems to be enough.  Or am I just damn mean?