Thursday, March 3, 2011

FRIENDS

 I am one of those people that don't have  a lot of friends. Sure my Facebook page says I have 80something of them but most of those are people I am related to or went to school with, friend's kids, my kids etc. I prefer things that way. I do not make friends easily, I never have.
People seem to like me but I do not seem to like many people. I get annoyed with people easily and just frankly do not like having so many friends that I have to keep up. All the birthdays, anniversaries, their kids birthdays all their drama etc. Way too much work for me. I find it exhausting. I know that I am not a good friend so I try not to engage friendships. I take friendships very seriously. It's not that I am a recluse by any means, just that I find maintaining friendships hard work and I have enough work with all my kids so I disengage.
For some reason people are drawn to me. They meet me. They love me???? Even when I am rude?? I do have a small circle of friends that are dear to me. Friends I can count on one hand. I have a true best friend that's old enough to be my dad but he is an amazing man and I love him dearly. He and I see a lot of things eye to eye. He gives me my space. We talk daily and see each other every month or so for lunch. I adore this man and even named my last son after him. He is older and wiser and has bailed me out of troubles before. I know that he truly cares for me. I can call him up each day (and I do) and rant and rave about my drama. He listens and does not judge. This friendship has spanned 13 years. Although it took maybe 5 years for me to really consider him a friend.
My next friend is a gal I grew up with, lost contact with for a few years and then found on facebook. She is the funniest chick I know. She is someone I look up to and admire. She is the mother I aspire to be. We are similar in so many ways and so different in many others. She is fun, funny, smart, bitchy and very together and if I need someone to kick someones ass, she would be the one to do it. She is also very frank with me and I love her for it! This friendship has spanned 25 years. It took even longer for me to consider her my friend.
Then I have one more friend. She is opposite of me. Conservative, Christian, quiet, everything I am not. She is anti-Internet, hates that I blog and facebook (she thinks I am too old for all that). She is not the girl I would take to a party or share a drink with but lord knows if I called her in the middle of the night she would come. I trust her completely. We also work together wherever we go. One goes (usually me) and then I come get her. This friendship has spanned 12 years. Again about 5 years to become friends.
These three could not be more different. The differences in their ages are vast. Their religious beliefs range from a Jehovah, a Christian , to I don't know what Wendy is. Their life stories are very different. Their interests are very different, their personalities extremely different. Therefore they have never met.
Now I have lots of "friends" but these three are the people that I call or see almost daily and I truly love and truly trust. There is a whole other circle of "friends" that I care for and spend time with but it is more sporadic. If any of these three moved far away I would be lost. They each know my deepest secrets and I am totally comfortable with that.
I'm laying that foundation to say this:
I recently have felt such connections with people online. It's so much easier to have these type of friendships. Since blogging I have encountered one gal in particular that I just simply adore. I love that she complains, I admire her compassion for others, her honesty and something about her just feels warm to me. Weird huh?
The girl that doesn't want anymore friends. You have to really work hard at cracking my tough exterior in real life to be my friend but online a few concerned, caring emails and you're in. Funny how that happens. It feels like this  person is one that should be added to the elite three. Like I've known her forever. We have already shared some personal things and even have a mutual online secret. Then comes the talk of meeting one day. I wonder is this just online etiquette or does this truly happen? Has anyone ever met someone in person that they met on online? Someone who doesn't live close by? How did it turn out ? Were  they all you dreamed them to be or was it awkward? When you met in person did you realize things weren't as cozy as online or was it the start of something new? Please share your online friend experiences with me.

15 comments:

  1. Coral RichardsonMarch 3, 2011 at 6:49 AM

    Im yer friendddd :)))

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  2. Coral yes you are. You are more you are my sister.

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  3. You said, "The girl that doesn't want anymore friends."

    And what makes you think that?

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  4. Peg- I was talking about me, silly. But obviously the inspiration for the post was you.

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  5. I didn't want to assume but it made me tear up.
    I will write in private.
    I'm a hard ass remember?!
    You're blowing my cover.

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  6. I've met a few people, and it's really different every time. Honestly, I think a phone conversation first really helps. That way you hear their voice, their inflections etc., and you can tell if they're annoying or not. :)

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  7. I have a sea of friends and I swim with them everyday. Here's to ya, and Cheers Roc!!

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  8. "I get annoyed with people easily"

    That's not hard to do.

    And yes I've met one person in person that I met blogging. I would meet more if they were closer.

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  9. I have a few really important friends in my life. That I hold dear. I find it a little crazy when someone has tons and tons of friends. How do you keep up?? lol. I have made some pretty good blog friends but none I've never met in real life. yet anyway. I would be up to meeting certain people for sure though.

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  10. I have a lot of friends. But I don't have kids so I have time to invest in my relationships with my friends. I am out with friends 4 or 5 nights a week and without a husband/kids, my friends are my major part of my life.

    I have met 2 people from the internet blogoshpere in real life. Both were successful meetings. Both are real-life friends now. I am looking forward to meeting more friends as the opportunities arise.

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  11. I met two at of all places, a book signing. One emails me periodically and she does comment on my blog. She lives about 2 hours away from me and I hope to go and meet up with her again soon.
    The other turned out to not be the type person I like to hang out with at all...

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  12. Peg's husband here..She talks about the friends that she makes online and those that she cares about deeply. She is the type of person that goes to a party, (rarely) and use to think... will people like me.. now she goes and says, will I like them? She has a soft spot for very few, and when she talks about you, it brings a smile to her face. Knowing that she got all weepy, (probably just PMS but who the hell can figure her out) reading your comment just shows her softer side... shhhhh.. nobody knows she has one.. Thanks for your online friendship with her.
    Rick.. aka. Peggy's Bigguy

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  13. Thank you everyone for the feedback. Looks like the reviews are quite mixed. And I am super excited to have two guest commenters
    Coral- My sis-in-law (kinda) She should blog.
    And Rick- Peg's bigguy
    Yippee!

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  14. I think I am a little bit like you! Only a few very good friends and I adore them. Would do anything for them. I have had the opportunity to meet a couple of bloggers in real life. At a conference. For me, that was the perfect way to meet. In a big old group! No pressure to be BFFs:) Best of luck! (let us know what happens!)

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  15. hello sir your blog is really amazing and i really have a good experience with my friends they are really more cooperative and i think i am the best one who have such friends...

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