Wednesday, March 2, 2011

In Honor of Dr. Suess

In honor of Dr. Suess's Bday please enjoy the following:

I sit and I stew
Oh my what to do
I could ship your ass off to Kalamazoo
But your lil kids would all cry "Boo Hoo"

I prepared your meal
But your attitude was stank
So I tossed it in the trash
I bet next time you'll says "Thanks"
I'm tired of you leaving dirty socks on the floor
I'm tired of your coats hanging on the hallway door 
I mean come on dude, I've told you this before

Your late night baths that leave the tub all dirty
You should see me now, I'm shooting you the birdie
Your personal products that litter my vanity
Dealing with you is such insanity
I think I'd rather deal with Mr. Shawn Hannity

You're many complaints about your toothaches and back
I think it's all BS and you are just being slack
For example my hallway that you started to paint
What's still not painted? My hallway. It ain't!

And now you decide you wanna be a singer
You are 40! Again, I'm shooting you the finger
You have 6 kids and plenty to do
You do not have time to record an album too

You act like investing in this child's play is smart
Music, you tell me, well, its in your heart
How about the lawn, the trash, the things needing fixing?
Should I get another man to do them while you're busy mixing?

If you have free time how bout finishing all the things you did start
At the very least take your kids to the damn park!
Or here's an idea, why not a second job you can get
That way you can begin to pay off all this debt

Spending all your time with guys half your age
Is not helping out, it's filling me with rage
And that could be dangerous and scary for you
I'd get my ish together, that's what I'd do

Its time to grow up and be a big man
Becoming an artist at 40, well thats a dumb plan
If you don't get it together I'ma put you out
And then you will really have something to sing about!


  1. Great poem! Unless he is Susan Boyle, it is a mid-life crisis! Tell him to get over it!!

  2. "why not a second job you can get"

    I'm surprised the repubs haven't suggested Obama get a second job.

  3. You need to be honest
    You need to move on
    You can be poor alone
    Or move to a new town

    No matter what you decide
    you really know a man of 40
    is who he is
    there are no change of spots
    or being better with his kids

    So the balls in your court
    You hold the key
    C'mon Roc listen to me.

  4. Karen- I do tell him. Constantly.

    Mike- good point

    Peg- Cute poem. A lil tough on me but I love that you kicked it to me in a poetic style.

  5. Roc I do it from love.
    I think we need to sit over some drinks and have some tough love talk. It shouldn't be this hard babe. Ever.

  6. Poetry can be quite cathartic, but it's more useful when poetry is in motion. Cheers Hot Stuff!!

  7. Agree with Peg,
    Yes it is hard to hear,
    but with what all you have put here,
    It's time to get rid of the not so dear.
    I'll join you and Peg,
    for that much needed keg,
    because from the sounds of it,
    You need a swift kick in the leg.
    (Sorry but ass didn't rhyme with Peg and keg).

  8. All I can say is you guys/gals crack me up with your comments on poetic fashion. Dr. Suess would be so proud. I am up for the keg!