Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Birthing In Raquel's World

In preparation for my youngest son's birthday post coming on the 25th. I decided to share the story of his birth. 

I'm at home. Just finished up a heated session if you know what I mean. I stand to go wash up and pee. I pee but continue to pee then I get that my water has broken. Yahoo! "Time to go" I say. See I'm a pro at this. I have done it two times prior and one of those times was a complete disaster so this could only be a piece of cake. I tell David "baby's on the way" and hop into the shower. I shower up quickly grab my bags and call my hospital to let them know I'm on the way. We drive 25 minutes to the hospital. I have no pain but I do have contractions?  Smiling I think no pain, I got this in the bag baby!
When we arrive at triage they check me in and do an initial exam. Still contracting, still no pain. Still smiling. I have an exam and here is some excerpts from the conversation that followed
Nurse 1
Nurse 2
 Umm you're not gonna push are you?
Hadn't planned on it. Still smiling.
Oh because you are dilated and ready to go.
"Good" I say, ready to get on with things
No not good. There is no one to deliver your baby
Umm silly nurse calm down we are in a hospital
It's my first week and we have had tons of women go into labor early! There are no doctors! They are all delivering!
A lil put off, but not worried yet. That's cool you can deliver my lil pumpkin
No I really cannot. She starts to panic.I hear her go into the hallway and discuss with another nurse that OMG this lady is in labor and there is no one to deliver
Where is Dr. Sanders?
Delivering in room 204 and 2081!!!
Dr Angles? 
C section!
Dr Martin?
Emergency C section!!!
How about the assisting Dr Socket?
Well a lady went into labor in the elevator, he's helping her
You will just have to do it then
No I can't
We'll help. Let me check the patient
Nurse #2 comes in, introduces herself and smiles nicely as if I had heard nothing. She lifts the cloth and takes a peep at my nether regions.
OMG she's ready! Get her in a room.
There are no rooms!
No rooms?
They are all full!
What about the overflow rooms?
Well we'll do it here then
I'm still not hurting, but no longer smiling.
Actually crying now "umm can I get an epidural?"
No your too far along
How about some Demerol?
No nothing it's time to push
Time to push? WTF? I just got here! Don't I need an IV, a bed, some ice chips, some pain? Something!!?
No time. She's putting me up in the stirrups
I'm frantically crying now. Yelling at David They have no clue what they are doing!
Where's the cart with all the medical supplies? The big light to shine on my vagina?
We don't have time for all that. Now Push!
I did and and did, did and did and it hurt like hell. But he came out bright-eyed and bushy tailed and healthy. 
It was fast and furious.
Scary and painful.
In spite of their less than desirable delivery tactics we made it. 
His name is Mason. He will be 10 on Friday.


  1. You should have called 911 from the hospital. At least you would have had a paramedic.

  2. good call Mike - calmer heads prevail. :-)
    Hard to think rationally when a bowling ball is coming out your nether regions.

    he's a cutie Roc!

    I saw your bday blog on my reader last week and then it disappeared.

  3. Happy Birthday to him and Mom! You did all the hard work! :-)

  4. Mike- Damn, now why didn't I think of that? Oh maybe because there was a human pushing his way outta my vagina? LOl

    Peg- Thank you! I accidently posted that too early. It will be up today/tomorrow. :)

    Mamma-True I had no contractual pains but good god in the morning when that head started ripping me up that was a whole different story. That ish hurt! And I had hemorrhaging. But luckily the debacle of the staff made that seem minor in hind sight.

    ETW- ....and still do lol. Thanks!

  5. At least you were in the hospital. You could have popped that little guy out right in your house! I like hearing birthing stories for some reason!!

  6. Hello again!

    I had both my children by c-sectin (not by choice) so I have no concept of what actual child birth is like...but I would imagine if your going to go with natural child birth that this is the way you want to experience it...fast and furuious!