Anyone with kids will understand that it is super annoying when someone without kids gives you unsolicited parenting advice. Lately my neighbor has been full of tidbits for me. Quite frankly I am tired of it! And in a moment of aggravation I finally told her a thing or two. Here's how it went down.
I call her basically daily. I have learned that if I get to her before she gets to me I can control the situation a bit better. And I am a control freak. Now that I know her pretty well I can manage things where she gets her needed amount of attention well at least a reasonable amount and I can still get things done and not get wrapped into hours of conversation at the most inopportune times. So I was giving her my daily call. ( and this, by the way Peg, is why I can never call you) On my way home is my only peaceful time to reach her and I use that to the fullest. I have grown fond of her in a lot of ways. So I also want to check in on her. Anyhoo, I was pulling up to my home and couldn't seem to wrap the convo up. I entered my home still chatting on the phone with her and discovered things were not as clean as I like. I said a few words to my kids (while I was still on the phone) and they began to explain. Then during the convo I had to interrupt her several times to redirect or instruct my kids.
I hate when I am on the phone with someone and they spend the majority of the convo yelling or even talking to the kids so I try not to do that to people. But if you don't let me hang up then I guess you are along for the ride.
I would be in convo with her and then say things to the kids like.
"you're room is not clean"
"pick that up"
"stop jumping on the couch"
"give that back"
"get your homework out"
"because I said so" etc., etc
She then said to me "that is ridiculous how much you have to remind them"
"yup" I said a bit annoyed. Because if I could hang up I could handle that.
When the kids would reply she would say "What's gotten into them? Why are they talking back?" (talking back was saying can't I do my homework after I go outside?)
I would say " well, they are teens."
"Do you want me to come over there and straighten them out?" she asked
I LOL-ed seriously. My kids would eat her up and spit her out. Have you met their mother?
I declined her "help" but was almost willing to have her come over and show me how to do it.
She then went on an rant about kids nowadays and she would not put up with what I put up with and blah blah blah. She then went on to share a story of her daddy from when she was 3 years old and she wanted to play horsey with her dad but he was reading the paper. She smacked the paper to get his attention and his glasses fell off his face and broke.
Okay lets take a minute and picture the scene:
3 year old girl waiting to see daddy, whose been at work all day. Wants to play with daddy. Daddy ignores lil Princess bc he is reading the paper. 3 year old hits the paper to get his attention. Daddy's glasses accidentally fall and break.
Don't know about you guys, but given the age and circumstances, I didn't see anything too bad.
Well she explained that "daddy" got a switch and "tore her hide up for days". I can't ever imagine whipping a three year old so much that she is sore for days.
I told her that although I'm all about a beat down when necessary I thought that was too harsh.
Well that's how we did it back in my day she replied. And then she went into a whole "back in my day" speech.
Okay I get the good ole days but I got her good when I said "Well, I bet back in your day said in a venomous tone your mom did not work, rather stayed home with you all day?"
"Yes" she said
"And I'll bet back in your day kids did not come home alone to an empty house because mom was at work."
"Oh and I bet back in your day, your dad paid most if not all the bills so mommy's main and only focus was on raising the kids"
"Yes" she said
"And I bet back in your day there was not sex, and violence and bad language in every damn show, song, and schoolyard. As a matter of fact was there even TV period?! Back in your day that is. And are all those past beatings and constant attention why you are so needy now? Huh? Is it damn it!
So here is a lil something to know about me. I can take constructive criticism about my parenting. And I have. From someone who I admire for being a strong parent. But if you cannot get your dog to behave and you do not work or do anything for that matter than DO NOT give me effing parenting advice!! Especially the kind of advice where you can do it better. I have four kids; two teens, one preteen and a preschooler. They have great attendance, decent grades, they do chores daily, they do not smoke, screw, or drink (not that they never will). They are a great help to me and they listen to me. No they are not perfect and I am far from a perfect parent but I am one of the best I know and so are my kids.
Have you ever had someone give you parenting advice? Did you get offended?
Or please tell me if you have no kids and give out kid advice, what compels you to do so?