Wednesday, February 23, 2011

My Brush With The Law

Monday, I had an appointment in Chapel Hill, NC. Chapel Hill's traffic patterns scare me and I am terrified of getting lost. No, I do not have a GPS because I do not travel out of my comfort zone. I'm an ole lady that way. Anyhoo I solicited a friend to drive me to Chapel Hill. When we arrived we had to park in this massive parking deck. On the way out of the parking deck there are signs overhead that say "Remember 3C". This sign is supposed to serve as a reminder and a warning that you should remember that letter/number combo should you wish to find your vehicle upon your return. Problem was we did not see that sign until we returned. We exited our vehicle and tried to follow the many signs directing us to pass this sky walk, and turn here and take the footbridge etc. So we got turned around a few times but found the place were visiting.

Here's a map of where we were
Two hours later we were done and headed back to the garage. I asked immediately if my friend, we'll call her Bonita, knew where we had parked because I had no clue. She said that she was pretty certain we were somewhere on level two. I knew immediately we had a problem. Bonita thinks I am a dramatic person so in trying to live that down I played it cool. Inside I was worried we would never find the car. We entered level two, no car. Level two had several levels so we walked up and down the garage. Up and down for thirty minutes and no car. Thinking we were maybe wrong about level two we thought maybe we were at the beginning of level 3 and missed the sign so we walked for miles on level three. No car. 
After searching forever I suggested we go to the security desk and ask for help. We arrive at the security desk and the security guard looking quite serious asked us what the problem was. We explained that we lost our car. He kinda sighed like again? He asked us to have a seat on a bench while he "suited up for business". We watched comically as this security guard got his security coat, flashlight, notepad, keys, etc. He locked the booth up and cranked up his golf cart. I was tickled to death at his serious demeanor, and could not help but laugh.In typical blogger fashion I immediately thought "this will make a great blog post". So I tried inconspicuously to snap a few photos of Mr. Man. Every time I tried to take his pic he would turn around and I had to try to pretend that I saw a bird or something that I was trying to capture on camera. Here is my jacked up attempt to get him on camera. 

He knew something was up so it was really hard, here he is gathering his investigative supplies.

You know how when you laugh when you're not supposed to? That is when you cannot stop laughing? Well that was me, cracking up on the security bench. Embarrassing Bonita I'm sure. The security guy approached us, flipped open his notepad and began a series of questions that cracked me up even more. It was like a scene from a copper movie. Here's how it played out:
Security Guy
My Thoughts
Sir,  I believe we have lost our vehicle
Sighs, give me a minute to lock up and I'll assist you. What kinda vehicle is it?
Well, it is a Venture van and I'm pretty sure we parked on level 2
What was your arrival time? Do you have a copy of your parking ticket your received upon entry to the facility?
No, but it was around 11am
I doubt you are on level two, At that time you would have had to park at level 3 or higher. Did you happen to see the sign with the reminder on your way out?
Dying from laughter...'on the way back we did"  I say
Security guy did not find this funny, But I found his question stupid. I mean if we had seen the sign would we be lost??? Duh.
What is the make and model of the vehicle?
Chevy Venture
Didn't we just tell him that, jeez?
Does it have any tint, or descriptionary details?
Any decals, fancy paint, bumper stickers, custom rims, an enhanced lighting kit?
I'm dying over here, envisioning Bonita, who is very conservative driving a pimped out minivan.
Hmmm, Does the vehicle in question have a NC tag?
I look at her and wonder if she's cracking under the pressure of being interrogated  because yes it does have NC tags.
What state tags do you have ma'am?
NC, I'm thinking great, you just killed our credibility here and perjured  yourself. I'm rolling now thinking Bonita is an idiot.
She explains that she thought he meant decorative tags
Well hop in lets see what we can turn up.
We hop on the back of the cart and he puts that bad boy in motion before we know it he is FLYING through the parking deck jerking us this way and that. Either I'm getting really old or we were going about 45mph. I am holding on to the sides hoping he doesn't tip me out from all the turns and rapid speed. We are quite the spectacle riding around with Mr Man. Everyone stares at us like we are the stupidest people in town. I can tell Mr. Man is none to pleased with us so I try to make conversation. I ask him if this happens often.
Everyday, it's all in a days work. 
The seriousness of his answer set me to cracking up again. After we scan level two and three for 20 minutes flying up and down the rows on the golf cart he stops the cart and turns around and says are you sure you parked here?
I started thinking are we? I'm getting confused, maybe it's all the turning and speeding on the cart.
Yes Bonita says
Well, we'll just ride down to level 1 to cover all bases but I'm sure it must be higher
Eventualy we found our car on level 1
He bid us farewell we thanked him
He tipped his hat and told us to drive safe as he sped off to save others.
Bonita looks at me and says it is You! I never lose my car. 
I told you, "Welcome to Raquel's World"
And off we went laughing all the way back to Raleigh


  1. My sister and I lost her car once in a parking mall. She kept hitting the alarm button, and we heard it, but it was coming from the parking the next level down. It didn't take us near as long to find ours as it did yours. Now we look for the sign, even at our small Wal-mart!

  2. OMG that is a hoot. I am envisioning Barney Fife with that description. Oh Roc that was fun for me. I thought I was the only person who lost her car. Then i saw it on Seinfeld and felt so much better.

  3. Mall security guards are like ninjas! Okay, maybe not.

    I have a friend who would always write down where she parked in a parking deck. I laughed at her, but she never loses her car!

  4. I was going to leave work early one day. Rather than parking far away like I normally did I parked at a closer lot. When it was time to leave I walked all the way down to my normal lot. I couldn't find my car. It took me about five minutes to remember parking at the closer lot.

  5. I'm so afraid of loosing my car in a parking garage, I'm know to write down where I'm at and put it in my purse.
    Sad I know but I hate loosing my car in those huge garages because around here, there's no man in a cart to help you...

  6. That is hilarious! But, I'm glad you had assistance and found it eventually. :-)

  7. Linda- Oh I have learned the Walmart lesson well. Now I just need to apply that knowledge to other parking situations.

    Peg- That's exactly who he reminded me of too.

    Jay- I may have to start doing just that

    Mike- Done that too. So glad men lose their cars too I never see a guy looking for his car just the ladies :)

    Mamma- Maybe that could be a new job for me. I could roll up in shopping centers with a golf cart and charge a fee to ride people around and find their car.

    ETW- Thanks!