Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Gonna Piss Some People Off

Last week our preschool had graduation. Before I go any further let me tell you a bit about our 3 year old glass at the preschool.       
Names have been changed of course.

There are maybe 12 kids in the class. There are 2 teachers. These two teachers are by far the best two teachers I have ever seen. With raising 4 of my own kids and then working in child care myself for 16plus years, I am the expert on "teachers". So In this class there are about 5 kids without issues, thankfully mine is one of them. The remaining 7 have some stuff going on,  ranging from small issues to larger ones.
Lets start with Renee- Renee has some sort of anxiety issue that seems to effect her ability to make friends and deal with most situations. These issues are prominent and obvious. She is often hiding under a table or sucking her thumb and cries pretty easily at anything.
Then we have Rick- Rick has two older and seemly super- nerdy-smart parents. I think they may be rocket scientists or something. However Rick is far from one. I would even go as far as to say he is strongly autistic. He is compulsive, not potty trained, does not communicate, and quite rambunctious in general he seriously is in his own world around there. 
Then we have MaryAshley- She, I think is maybe just spoiled, but either way she has cried for hours at drop off daily for over two years. She is almost four and her parents tote her around like an infant. I'm not sure the girl can walk.(she can) Her parents are "textbook" parents who coddle and hug and etc etc. She has not adjusted well to preschool and I'm not sure if she ever will. 
Then we Have Suzy- Suzy comes from a real screwed up family. Mom walked out, dad has her, then don't, then does, then don't and various relatives assist in her raising. Her relatives pick her up reeking of smoke and lack of showers. She is so attention starved that she will jump on any adult that enters the room and talk your ear off. 
Then there is Kory- he is also suffering from some serious mental disorder. It is not uncommon to enter the classroom and see him climbing on top of the shelves or just whirling round like he is the Tasmanian Devil.
He seems blank all the time and is a danger to himself.

Now you would think this is a scary environment for my princess. It is not. Somehow these two teachers seem to manage this group quite well. They teach and show all the kids love and attention daily. How they do it? I know not. But when you enter the classroom on any given day you are sure to see one or several of these children doing what they do and the teachers handle it all so well. They maintain as much control as humanly possible. They stay positive and they make certain that all the kids are included in whatever is going on no matter how hard it is to keep them focused. Imagine reading a story and having the Tasmanian Devil tear through the block center while you do so. It happens all the time. The seem unfazed. They correct the situation as much as possible but continue teaching those who are willing or able to learn.
I am assuming the parents of these kids are in DENIAL. Because I can tell in 5 minutes if something is a bit off, sometimes even 5 seconds.  
So back to graduation. The 3's were performing for the graduates and they had a 3 song set they would be doing. The kids had never been on stage or performed period. So when the curtains opened and the music started the 3 year old class stood and their little mouths dropped open at all the lights and all the people. The kids that would normally function appropriately in the classroom began singing and dancing just as they had practiced but the others, well they did what they do.
Picture the scene 7 or 8 lil sweet peas singing and dancing. Then you have Renee who totally freaked at the sight of all the people. She immediately hid under a chair and began to wail. (like she does everyday in the classroom) Rick began running around stage knocking over chairs and pushing people  (like he does everyday in the classroom) MaryAshley sat on the floor refusing to get up and cried. She wanted to be held  (like she does everyday in the classroom) Suzy- went to the edge of the stage and tried to evoke the front row into a convo about her shoes.  (like she does everyday in the classroom) Kory- he began to try to climb the curtains. and pulling the cords to the curtains.  (something like he would do everyday in the classroom)

This did not bother me or most at all. We laughed at their personalities on stage. They did what they do everyday. Problem is the next day several  parents came in or emailed complaints about the performance. Saying that the teachers had no control over the kids and the whole show was a FAIL and "hard to watch." There was lots of blaming the teachers and it really hurt the teachers feelings. I was livid when I found out. Because excuse me??? But did YOU not know your child was your child!!! They did what they do everyday and YOU see them do it and do nothing. YOU do not get them the help they need or attempt to teach them  a better way. When YOU drop off Kory he immediately climbs something  and you just walk out. I've seen YOU do it! And when YOU drop off Rick he immediately starts running around knocking things over and YOU do NOTHING! Hello?? If you have to hand over your damn near four year old to another adult to hold for an hour and a half while she "adjusts" then what the hell did you expect to happen on stage? Did YOU think these kids would magically turn into well behaved well adjusted kids and stand still and sing? Are YOU kidding me? YOU do not care each day when YOU see them behaving this way in class and the teacher has to manage it, plus 11 other kids. Why now that your child showed their issues or lack of parenting to the entire stadium do YOU care? I know why. Because YOU are embarrassed and YOU wanna blame someone. Now that the entire school saw what we (me and the teachers, as well as other parents) observe everyday in the classroom. Now YOU complain! And to blame the teachers... well that is just damn wrong. Shame on YOU in denial Parents! YOU need to figure out what's going on with your kid. And YOU need to teach him or her that 4 year olds can walk and that knocking other kids over is not appropriate period. YOU need to stop denying that your child is different and maybe needs some help . YOU you and no one but YOU.


  1. I glad you seem to understand the parents expectations now. When are you going to get things fixed? We'll give you 2 days... OK OK 3 days!!! :)

  2. This fries my arse.
    I could leave a long ass message here but I won't. You know the drill. "little johnny" is perfect.
    There is nothing wrong with not having children.
    Most of these parents may have wanted to consider that when making that decision. They are so consumed with themselves that their kid is raising itself and doing a lousy job.

  3. I am so laughing hard here because in the public schools, we get to hear how the private preschool little Johnny/Susie attended had no trouble with them. It has to be the public school and how they wish they could send Johnny/Susie to private. What mommy and daddy don't realize is we do too.
    In reality, the parents mess their child up and expect others especially daycares, to 'fix em.' One of the hardest things to do, is explaining to parents that their child that they see as being 'gifted' is actually not.
    I'm sure you've heard of the 6 steps to grieving, many of these parents do the same thing over and over and over, never ending the grieving process.

  4. WOW

    I am trying to figure out which of the disfunctional parents I would be if I had ever had kids. - Charlene

  5. Ugggh, horrible parents. As a mom of an autistic kid, you can only live in denial for so long. To not do anything is shameful and to expect the teachers to "fix" them is just wrong. It is our jobs as parents to help or children, no one else's.

  6. I hear you what you are saying, girlfriend! Parents are always mad at someone else for something that is ultimately their fault. Am I right or am I right?

  7. My sister is a teacher- I have nothing but love an respect for all teachers.