Friday, July 2, 2010


Gotta put the funeral story on pause for a minute.

I have shocking and deplorable news. I am undateable!! I have never had much trouble getting a guy and usually have at least one guy crushing on me in the background somewhere. So I just spent an entire hour on Eharmony trying to feel out my potential to find love again someday. I answered what seemed like a million questions quite honestly and an hour later pressed the button and waitted anxiuosly to see my new potential hotties. What I got was the following message.

"We're very sorry, but our matching system cannot predict good matches for you."


It then proceeded with a disclosure of some sort trying to tell me that just because they couldn't find love for me it doesn't mean that I won't find it someday on my own. Then it told me that the results of this does not have any reflection on the type of person that I am etc. etc. etc. I imagined that someone has killed themselves after getting this message from eharmony before, therefore the need for this disclosure.

In order to thank me for wasting an entire hour of my life only to be told that I suck they gave me the lovely parting gift of a personality profile.

"We apologize and regret our inability to find good matches for you. The time you spent completing our questionnaire, however, has enabled us to provide you with a free Personality Profile.. This Personality Profile lets you learn more about yourself and should provide you with valuable insights."

Words that describe you:

There was much, much more. At first I laughed. Then as I read on I cried. Now I am depressed. Kinda.


  1. Awww ... look at it this way - must only be the "loser" guys who are filling out profiles on eHarmony 'cause if it were the good guys?? You'd have had a list of hundreds!!

  2. oh please! C'mon it says more about this damn site than you. So may be all the men are wimpy ass men looking for mommy's or someone who is afraid of strong women. Do you really want to date those guys? Because there are enough of those jerks around!

    I have a male friend that was told if he was willing for a gal to be less of an equal there would be more choices. WTF?

    So don't lower your standards or change who you are....hang in there.
    I married a man I met through a personal ad, done on a dare and a bet, 23+ years ago. (I lost the best and a boatload of money to my girlfriends)

  3. screw eharmony. i went there once and was turned away because i'm gay. my friend google and i looked up a bit about eharmony and i found this interview snippet from the founder, neil clark warren...He also noted that eHarmony promotes heterosexual marriage, adding that same-sex marriage is illegal in most states, "We don't really want to participate in something that's illegal.". so whatever, i met someone on my own recently...i'm sure you will as well! best of luck to ya :)

  4. When all else fails, try Craigslist.

    (just kidding)

    Sometimes I'm tempted to sign up on one of those dating sites even though I'm married to see what douchebags I would be paired up with.

  5. Candice- I think maybe I will give Graigslist a try. LOL
    Ducky- Wow, Did not realize EHarmony was so closed minded. So F U EHarmony
    Peg-All I can say to the guys is if most men weren't so damn weak I wouldn't have to be so damn strong. And yes you lost the $$ but looks like you got a pretty good guy.
    Dana-Thanks! I'll be sending you an email later. I have some gratitude to send your way!

  6. Don't worry about it, there is always!

    Your choice of words that describe you kinda made me smile. I just pictured too guys in a bar talking about women:

    "Wow, check her out, she is Ffffiiinnneeee!"
    "Yer, I suppose. But how shrewd is she?"