Tuesday, July 13, 2010

The Funeral....The Last Chapter

Work is as exciting as watching a battery charge, hence two posts in one day. Yippee!
Thought I'd finish up the funeral story.

After the burial there was a dinner sponsored by the Kiwanas club in honor of my grandfather he was a vietnam vet. We all arrived at the clubhouse in which it was to take place. The dinner was buffet style with the food and tables in the front room and a bar and restrooms located in the back.

Upon arriving the first thing my sister did was grab me and say "come on we are all taking a shot of Jack Daniels in honor of Grandpop".
I immediately knew this wouldn't go well so I nicely tried to decline. After being served up a quilt trip about not participating in the honorary shot that "all the grandkids would be be participating in"which I knew would probably turn into many shots I caved. As I approached the bar halfheartedly I noticed the only grandkids at the bar was...you guessed it..our family. So while my siblings were ordering shots I snuck away and dodged that event.

Then came time to eat. Our family secluded itself from the rest of the family and sat at a back table together. As I tried to avoid them one of my siblings waved me over informing me that they had saved a seat for me. Great! I sat down and we began to eat. The conversation quickly turned to the funeral and my sisters guest; her ex husband, a druggie and drunk, said extremely loud, (I'm sure due to the JD shots) "what the hell kinda service was that? I'm from the south! I'm used to some downhome organ music and soulful singing, what was up with all the bell ringing and humming?"

I immediatley tried to change the subject but it was to no avail he continued on and on and everyone was looking at us. I wanted to disappear.

Then my sister commented two or three times thatits fing hot in here. Well, sweetie its not really hot maybe again the JD shots so she deicded to go into the bathroom and remove her shirt leaving her in a cami. Not the kind of cami that you should wera in public. Keep in mind everyone else here has on their funeral attire. BVery formal stuff. She then kicked off her shoes at the dinner table and removed her bra from under the cami of course but nonethelss..
She doesn't look like this but this is what it felt like.

Eventually I made my rounds and apoligies and we decided to hit the road. To get as far away from the group as possible maybe Virgina. We head out to the parking lot where I encountered my ex brother in law smoking a joint while my sister raged on with accusations that my brothers GF had stolen her prescription pills from the console of her truck and they were bout to have it out. I made the quickest exit and droove fast as hell outta there.


  1. Already Done,,,Not that I answer when they called anyways.

  2. After reading this I have one thought...I wanna party with your family. Cheers Raquel!!

  3. Matt- Man-
    Oh you would have a blast, the drinks and drugs are many, and yes there is some removal of clothing, not to mention they are funny people. One of them is single as well so if your stuff doesn't get sorted out maybe a hook-up could be in the future?