Tuesday, July 6, 2010

The Funeral....Part 3 - The Gravesite

So.. back to the funeral.

We were all piling out of the church to go to the gravesite which was an hour away. So of course everyone goes to the bathroom. The bathroom was packed and a line was out the door. My sister goes into a stall and about 1 minute later she begins to scream "WWWWHHHHHYYYY!!"
This begins a procession of the loudest most outrageous cry I had ever heard. The bad news is that my sister is a huge smoker and has lung issues so her cry is a mixture of choking, gasping, hacking etc. It was the most gross sound you could imagine. Not only is the sound enough to make all the bathroom attendees hurl there were sounds of choking up phlem etc. Then I see her (quite a large lady I might add) on the floor of the stall. She was making such a scene.

I was torn, I felt for her and wanted to help her but I also felt that seriously "we must get it together". Everyone knew we were sisters and probably thought I should assist her but keep in mind that we had been estranged for years prior to this event and I also was trying to put some space between my family and I.

I decided to just leave the restroom. As I exited the bathroom I saw the large group that had gathered outside the door. I just put my head down and hurried past them.

At the gravesite one hour later...

Upon arrival to the site my sisters came up to me and said "make sure you stand with us behind g-ma". See there was a small area with chairs for the immedaite family. I am assuming spouse and children. It was my family's idea that we as grandkids were suppossed to stand behind g-ma. Funeral Rules as they told me. Again, not much experience with funerals so I was unsure. There did not seem to be much room behind her and several of my more classy co-grandkids were not crowdded around gma. Given that and the previuos shenanigans I decided to stand off to the side. My siblings did not appreciate this very much.

The burial was sad and hard and it was followed by another one of my sisiters breakdowns. This breakdown was so severe that several family members shot her dirty looks. As we all were exiting the gravesite my mother again approached me. Oh No I thought. I gave her a quick once over, she seemed okay. So I hugged her and said "sorry mom for your loss." She then said "I dont wanna leave him." I just continued to embrace her. She began to cry. She placed her hands on my arms held me out at arms length and then said to me" dont do it Raquel, dont make me leave my daddy here" Oh boy here we go. She repeated this phrase to me through choked up sobs and added details like "i dont wanna put dirt on him" NOO!" Exhausting. I finally broke free from her and jog-walked back to our car. Safe.

More to come...find out what happens at the after dinner.


  1. Oh my. that is the only thing I can say well, except RUN RAQUEL RUN.

  2. I did...I left immediately after the dinner, which btw I will blog about soon.