Monday, December 6, 2010

A Period Post





I go by the bank to cash my paycheck that my employer forgot to direct deposit again. The lady is too loud as she welcomes me at the drive through window. She gives me some cash and asks if I want a lollipop. I turn around to check the car seats..nope no kids back there.. whew close one. So no lady, I do not want a lollipop are you insinuating that I am a baby? The car next to me pulls up with one of those souped up mufflers that sound like a 747 is landing. The noise annoys the ish outta me. Uggh. I glare nastily at the young chap.

I head off to the good ole Dollar Tree. This is so I can shop freely and get a bunch of ish and feel like I went on a shopping spree. I get to aisle 3 and there is a worker restocking. I patiently wait with my cart for her to move her fat ass outta the way. She carries on. I say "excuse me." She says nothing. But give sme a look. I have to pull outta aisle 3 and head back down aisle 2 that I already went down so that I can circle around and go down aisle 3 on the other end. I already went down aisle 2 so this is a colossal waste of my time. On aisle 4 I encounter 2 children with no parents in sight. They are tearing ish off the shelves at an alarming pace. The mother in me wants to give this kids a little smackaroo for they are old enough to know better than to do this ish! I stare in horror as they continue destroying aisle 4. I  crack my knuckles and prepare to  handle this but then I snap back to reality  and decide to look for the parents. I can't figure out who they belong to so I skip aisle 4 and head over to aisle 5 where I encounter a whiny 4 year old that is whiny, whiny ,whiny. Her moms speaks a foreign language end excuse me but between the foreign language and whining I skip this aisle too. It is all too much to bear. I check out and leave.

Over to Walmart I go. I pass a mirror and get a glimpse of my miserable looking face and decide to try to appear cheery. I smile at people in the aisle and surprisingly not one smiled back. The nerve!

As I pull onto my road I notice my house has been decorated for the holidays by my neighbor.

WTF? Not sure if I am offended or delighted.I see there is no room for my holiday decor. Our houses are joined and she has decorated them identically. I in typical Roc fashion decided that this is a slick way for her to portray us as a united front to the rest of our neighbors who she has been feuding with. So now I'm pissed. I get out unload my packages and enter my home to discover that one of my boys did not do the list of chores that I left for him. At this point I go off. Now I am even more irritated because I have to go thank the neighbor, and I know that will take hours and I'm already home late and haven't even started dinner but if I don't go there she will certainly come here. So I  begrudgingly head on over As soon as she opened the door I said "I only have 100 seconds but I just wanted to say thank you." She tells me how she cleaned off my front window ledges, weeded my garden and picked up all my trash that blew out of my recycling cans.(we had a storm overnight) I told her that was all unnecessary yet appreciated. She suggested we have a movie night together. That will NEVER happen. She then went on and on for an hour. I started dinner, something quick cause its getting late and I'm tired. An hour later I wonder why the pasta pot is not boiling.It appears my burner has died. ugggh. So now the fresh baked bread is cold and the pasta hasn't even started. Dinner is ruined.

 The RA comes in from work all happy and smiley. That too pisses me off. How dare he be happy when I'm mad! I say good that you are home you need to .....and I rat off  a long list of things I need him to do. He looks at me like I'm retarded. After all he just worked a 12 hour shift. So attack mode I go it.
 I stay in this bitchy mood all evening long. Snapping at the children, growling at the stove, scowling at the neighbors, slamming cabinets and refrigerator doors. Yes, I am outta control. Yes I know that. But my back is achy and my legs are tired and my spirit is weak and I just wanna take a bath, smoke a cig and go to bed. But I just can't stop bitching. Finally after I told all my kids and the RA everything that was wrong with them twice I went to pee and well that explains it. Jeez is this what happens when you get old? I used to be the tennis playing, white pants wearing, skipping through the meadows girl during this but not anymore. Mark your calendars 28 days from now we;ll do it all again.

12 comments:

  1. Oy!! My ex was a real pistol when it cam eto PMS (and yes, I am being way more than kind) Schmoop? Can't hardly tell. Good luck to you and those around you. Cheers Roc!!

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  2. you think this is bad - wait until peri -menopause! (and menopause)

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  3. Note to self: do not piss off Roc.

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  4. I am SO GLAD I am past that stage of my life!!!

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  5. I am on the pill where I only flow 2 times a year. I thought it would alleviate on the PMS front, but no. I still get bitchy, just no bleeding.

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  6. LOL! This happens to me all the time!!!!

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  7. I cannot even remember PMS, if I ever had it. I'm sure if I could dig up and resurrect my husband he could, but he used to argue with me until I started a rant and then sit back and smile watching me like a basketball game!

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  8. Mine was so unpredictable, I wore a panty liner for nearly 13 years. Then, I had all that crap ripped out in September. Best move I ever made. :-)

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  9. I mean I used a fresh new liner every day for nearly 13 years....Not the same one over and over. LOL.

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  10. SO glad to know I'm not the only evil force to be reckoned with during this time. As for the men....boy...you guys got it made.

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  11. Aw come on, it's just a little blood and sloughing of your endometrial lining! Get a grip woman! ;)

    P.S- That's exactly why I don't go to the Dollar store.

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