Friday, February 25, 2011

It's Official, My Kid Is Not The Brightest Bulb In The Box

If you follow me on Facebook then you will know that yesterday my son shot out his own front teeth with a stapler, now here's the details.
It was around 3:30p I was working when my older son called me. When I answered he said "Mom, Marlon shot his teeth with a stapler." I said "Okay, I'm at work" and hung up. See my kids have quite the sense of humor and tend to embellish sometimes. Then the phone rang again and I said annoyed "What?" Michael said "did you hear me? I said Marlon shot his teeth out!" I said "swear to god?" He said "swear, his teeth are on the ground and he's crying."  In the car I called Michael back for more details he said "Marlon was bored and he wanted to see what would happen if he stapled his teeth but when he did, it broke his front teeth and they are on the ground." "Well pick them up!" I yelled "and put them in a baggie." "Is Marlon hurt?" I asked "Well he is crying but, he's alright" my son replied. My next call was to my dentist. The dentist office had to ask me to repeat the story twice because it was so ridiculous and then they told me come in as soon as I can. I arrived home and here's the face that greeted me. 
Granted it does not look too bad, but what you cannot see is that the remaining portion of the tooth is cracked and shattered. There is also a thin layer of the tooth that's chipped off along with the bottom half. I wish I had a better camera. It has like spider web cracks in it. 
This is not our first emergency for dumb kid ideas, here is another.As I chastised him for being such an idiot I also ran through all the even worse things that could have happened: shoot a stapler down your throat, shoot out an eye, etc. I asked "what the hell made you do that?" "Dunno, I was bored" the dummy replied.
"Bored!?$$#$@!! " I yelled you have tons of makeup work for school (he had the flu for a week) and chores galore" (he has to pay for a math book that he let his "homey" borrow and homey lost it) I ain't paying $70some dollars for no damn math book. He said "yeah I know but I still wanted to see what would happen." "Well you certainly have seen what happens when you act like an idiot" I said even more annoyed that he really did not seem to think ruining his permanent front  teeth for life was a big deal.. When we arrived at the dental office everyone came in to see the dumb teen that stapled-shot his teeth out. They informed me that becasue of his age they could not do a crown and the best they coud do was reform the teeth with composite. Okay whatever at least I won't have a toothless son.The dentist entered the room, raised up Marlon's chair so they were eye to eye then he asked him "what they hell were you thinking?" Yes he said hell. My dentist is cool like that. He gave Marlon a lovely small lecture and then began to work on his teeth. He was late it, was after hours and his wife was calling because he had somewhere to be. Yet he stayed and fixed Marlon's teeth. Dedication. 
He told me that there wasn't enough existing tooth to work with and the composite will probably fall off a lot and we would be returning lots to repair it but there really were no other options. Marlon can never use his front teeth again. Not even to bite a banana he has to cut all his food in small bites and chew on his back teeth for life. Dumb Kid!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

My Brush With The Law

Monday, I had an appointment in Chapel Hill, NC. Chapel Hill's traffic patterns scare me and I am terrified of getting lost. No, I do not have a GPS because I do not travel out of my comfort zone. I'm an ole lady that way. Anyhoo I solicited a friend to drive me to Chapel Hill. When we arrived we had to park in this massive parking deck. On the way out of the parking deck there are signs overhead that say "Remember 3C". This sign is supposed to serve as a reminder and a warning that you should remember that letter/number combo should you wish to find your vehicle upon your return. Problem was we did not see that sign until we returned. We exited our vehicle and tried to follow the many signs directing us to pass this sky walk, and turn here and take the footbridge etc. So we got turned around a few times but found the place were visiting.

Here's a map of where we were
Two hours later we were done and headed back to the garage. I asked immediately if my friend, we'll call her Bonita, knew where we had parked because I had no clue. She said that she was pretty certain we were somewhere on level two. I knew immediately we had a problem. Bonita thinks I am a dramatic person so in trying to live that down I played it cool. Inside I was worried we would never find the car. We entered level two, no car. Level two had several levels so we walked up and down the garage. Up and down for thirty minutes and no car. Thinking we were maybe wrong about level two we thought maybe we were at the beginning of level 3 and missed the sign so we walked for miles on level three. No car. 
After searching forever I suggested we go to the security desk and ask for help. We arrive at the security desk and the security guard looking quite serious asked us what the problem was. We explained that we lost our car. He kinda sighed like again? He asked us to have a seat on a bench while he "suited up for business". We watched comically as this security guard got his security coat, flashlight, notepad, keys, etc. He locked the booth up and cranked up his golf cart. I was tickled to death at his serious demeanor, and could not help but laugh.In typical blogger fashion I immediately thought "this will make a great blog post". So I tried inconspicuously to snap a few photos of Mr. Man. Every time I tried to take his pic he would turn around and I had to try to pretend that I saw a bird or something that I was trying to capture on camera. Here is my jacked up attempt to get him on camera. 

He knew something was up so it was really hard, here he is gathering his investigative supplies.

You know how when you laugh when you're not supposed to? That is when you cannot stop laughing? Well that was me, cracking up on the security bench. Embarrassing Bonita I'm sure. The security guy approached us, flipped open his notepad and began a series of questions that cracked me up even more. It was like a scene from a copper movie. Here's how it played out:
Security Guy
My Thoughts
Sir,  I believe we have lost our vehicle
Sighs, give me a minute to lock up and I'll assist you. What kinda vehicle is it?
Well, it is a Venture van and I'm pretty sure we parked on level 2
What was your arrival time? Do you have a copy of your parking ticket your received upon entry to the facility?
No, but it was around 11am
I doubt you are on level two, At that time you would have had to park at level 3 or higher. Did you happen to see the sign with the reminder on your way out?
Dying from laughter...'on the way back we did"  I say
Security guy did not find this funny, But I found his question stupid. I mean if we had seen the sign would we be lost??? Duh.
What is the make and model of the vehicle?
Chevy Venture
Didn't we just tell him that, jeez?
Does it have any tint, or descriptionary details?
Any decals, fancy paint, bumper stickers, custom rims, an enhanced lighting kit?
I'm dying over here, envisioning Bonita, who is very conservative driving a pimped out minivan.
Hmmm, Does the vehicle in question have a NC tag?
I look at her and wonder if she's cracking under the pressure of being interrogated  because yes it does have NC tags.
What state tags do you have ma'am?
NC, I'm thinking great, you just killed our credibility here and perjured  yourself. I'm rolling now thinking Bonita is an idiot.
She explains that she thought he meant decorative tags
Well hop in lets see what we can turn up.
We hop on the back of the cart and he puts that bad boy in motion before we know it he is FLYING through the parking deck jerking us this way and that. Either I'm getting really old or we were going about 45mph. I am holding on to the sides hoping he doesn't tip me out from all the turns and rapid speed. We are quite the spectacle riding around with Mr Man. Everyone stares at us like we are the stupidest people in town. I can tell Mr. Man is none to pleased with us so I try to make conversation. I ask him if this happens often.
Everyday, it's all in a days work. 
The seriousness of his answer set me to cracking up again. After we scan level two and three for 20 minutes flying up and down the rows on the golf cart he stops the cart and turns around and says are you sure you parked here?
I started thinking are we? I'm getting confused, maybe it's all the turning and speeding on the cart.
Yes Bonita says
Well, we'll just ride down to level 1 to cover all bases but I'm sure it must be higher
Eventualy we found our car on level 1
He bid us farewell we thanked him
He tipped his hat and told us to drive safe as he sped off to save others.
Bonita looks at me and says it is You! I never lose my car. 
I told you, "Welcome to Raquel's World"
And off we went laughing all the way back to Raleigh

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Bilbo's Random Thought Collection: An Open Letter to Congress

Bilbo's Random Thought Collection: An Open Letter to Congress

Seeing the Forest In Spite of The Trees......Chapter 8

In that moment life sucked. But I knew the pity party had went on long enough. I contacted a friend of mine whom I had hired when I was a big time supervisor. Since the company had split she was a hiring manager at one of the locations. She brought me back in to work. Of course now I was not a supervisor making the big bucks. I would have to start and probably remain in the entry level position that I had held 7 years prior. It was degrading but a job nonetheless. So we just kinda muddled through that  time frame. It was a period of rebuilding.
Things had been quiet with Suzy for a while. Suzy remained with Fabio for more than a couple months and she seemed content. While David had issues with him because he did not speak English, I thought he was grand. He seemed good for the kids. He was involved in their lives and took on a parental role. This was the first guy I had seen her with that seemed interested in the kids rather than just her. So I was happy, for her and the kids. I couldn't help but feel like David's issues with Fabio were more out of jealousy than genuine concern for his kids. The kids quality of life was better than it had been for a while but yet David still had issues with it. Then Suzy had some medical issue that required surgery. It did not sound serious to me it was an outpatient procedure. But David made a big deal of it and said he would have to go stay there for two days to take care of his kids, which were teens by the way. Not to mention that Suzy's mom, dad, sisters, and fiance were all gonna be there. It definitely was not necessary for David to go but the fact that he wanted to made me feel like he cared way too much for Suzy. When I talked to him about this he said that he was going to support his kids because they would be having a hard time with mom having surgery and he would do the same for me even if we were separated. 
Ironic that I was able to test that theory a couple months later when I was driving with my kids on the way home from work one evening and we were in a car accident. It was a huge wreck and two of my three kids that were with me at that time got hurt as did I. I had never had a wreck and was traumatized as were my children. We were all taken to the hospital and I was put on heavy meds. I needed David to stay home with me for a couple days to help with the kids and for comfort. But sadly, he went to work the very next day. He had his sister come in from out of town to sit with me. That hurt like hell. I could not help but wonder why he didn't have his sister sit with Suzy, yet he felt he needed to be there for her but for me, his sister would do. This burned a hole of resentment in me that is still there to this day.
Time went on. A year or so passed when David informed me that he did not feel that driving into town and spending a day and having to leave by nightfall was an appropriate amount of time to spend with his kids. He did not like the fact that he had to "rush home". So he began a pattern that would seal his fate later on. He decided that when he went to visit his kids he would just stay all night or all weekend so he could "wake up to them or not have restricted time with them". He claimed that he would take the kids to stay at his brothers who lived 2 minutes from Suzy. Apparently the kids no longer wanted to spend weekends at my home.  
I call Bullshit! I felt as if there was more than I knew going on. When I would confront David about it he would say "well you are always welcome to come with me". Yeah right like I can just blow off my weekends not to mention my kids. He knew that would never work so that is why he invited me along in the first place. It was so he could say "I said you can go too" when we argued about it. The overnight/all weekend visits gradually became more and more frequent. Until they reached the point that it was 4 weekends there, 1 weekend home. His reasoning about being with his kids meant jack to me because remember he had kids here with me too. His feeling on that was that  the kids here see me everyday. Big whoop when he gets in from work around 8pm and that's when they go to bed. I became more and more frustrated but felt stuck. I was working but at a decreased rate of pay and with the bills still so far behind I needed every penny David would provide. So I just dealt with it. Dealt with it loudly at first then just decided to quietly stew about it for almost an entire year.

If you want the story that led to here you can click here for Chapter 7
And here for Chapter 6, where you will also find links to all remaining chapters.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Bob Rocks at Home Depot

Saturday night, among other adventures I had to venture over to Home Depot at 8:30p. When I enter Home Depot it is obvious to anyone that I am not the hardware store type. I had my son with me and we had been going at it since bright and early and were exhausted but really needed some floor adhesive. (we are redoing our dining room) We entered the huge mega hardware store clueless. There was a "customer service" desk immediately to my left with three people behind it. One was one the phone (cell phone that is) and the other two were just standing there looking bored. I approached the desk and stood there patiently waiting for them to stop conversing and acknowledge me. They carried on as if I was invisible. I stood there another  two minutes. Granted two minutes is not very long but when there are three people being paid to assist customers and I was the only customer it actually was way too long. I cleared my throat and they carried on. So then I said "excuse me." The one lady carried on with her convo and then then finally the younger lady said "Can I help you?"
I replied "Yes, I am looking for floor adhesive." She looked dumbly at me and said "Oh, I don't know." Then the guy piped in and said with a smart ass smirk "ummm, its in the flooring section". 'Thank you. smart ass." I replied silently. I then asked "Can you tell me where that might be?" 'It's in the back of the store' he replied matter-of-factly. Uggh what an ass I thought. "Can you give me a hint if it's on the right, the left, the center?" I asked annoyed. I mean come on the back of home depot is pretty large. "I believe its aisle #30" he says. "Thanks so much for all your help" I reply sarcastically and stomp off to aisle 30.
About midway there I encounter this weird looking, older gentleman with a Home Depot smock on.
This is not really Bob, Just an actor portraying Bob.
 He is pushing an empty cart and whistling. I smiled as I pass him. He stops and says to me "Hey there. Need some help?" "Nope, I said "I am just looking for floor adhesive." "Oh well I can take you to that" he says with a smile.
"Oh that's okay, Bob" I say noticing his name tag, "the lovely people up front already told me that it was on aisle 30." Bob rolls his eyes and says "awe come on I'll take you there, I insist." So he does. Remember now I just wanna get my ish and go home its late and I'm tired. I have $300 groceries in my trunk that needed to be put away and a floor to  lay all before bed. Bob begins going over all the adhesives and what the differences are. "Thanks Bob, I say I 'll just take this one and be on my way." "Well what are you doing exactly?" he asks "Well Bob, I am......"
I explain all the plans to him. "Oh well  do you have a R57H?" "What the hell is that Bob?" I ask
"Oh it's a tool that is needed to spread the adhesive properly." Not sure I quickly call David and he says no we do not have one. So I pick one and try to move on. Bob spends 15 more minutes sharing his flooring stories with me. He is quite endearing but I gotta go. I say "thanks for your time Bob but we'll be on our way." He then suggests we go look at some trim because I'll be needing that too. He asks me a series of questions that sound like a foreign language to me as he tries to determine what type of trim I needed. I sigh. I have no clue. I call David again and he says we don't need trim right now. So I tell Bob that and  he says "well you will eventually, so let's go take a looksy and determine what you ll need to save you time later."  I need to save time now Bob I think. We head on over and Bob gives me a lesson on all the trim types. Thanks Bob. While Bob is helping us his radio is going off people need him and it sounds urgent, other workers are calling out to Bob from other aisles requesting his assistance. I say to Bob "you can go Bob. They need you. We are fine." "No, no, they can wait. I am already helping you." He replies with a smile. The interruptions are numerous while random shoppers and staff approach Bob to ask him questions. He makes them all wait while he finishes up my trim lesson. I finally break away and head up to check out. At check out I am greeted by a lovely lady named Maria. She too is very helpful. She asks me if I enjoyed my visit to Home Depot. I tell her at first no, and I suggest replacing the yahoos working at customer service she smiles and says "yes, we have some real attitudes up there." I then tell her how wonderful Bob is. And that I appreciate her kindness as well.  She hands me a website to go comment on and I sure am going to. 
But I just thought that although Bob turned a 10 minute visit into an hour one he should get some homage here. Bob you Rock!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Roc Reflections- Fifteen Years Ago Today I Became A Mother

Fifteen years ago on this very day I became a mother for the very first time. The labor was long and  he refused to come out. Eventually they had to vacuum-suck him outta me (I'm sure that is not the proper medical term for the procedure but it definitely was a vacuum)  After my initial shock that I had just had a baby motherhood kicked right in. He was a wonderful baby. Slept lots, smiled lots, cuddled much. I stayed home with him for over a year and he was my everything, my best friend, my son, my love. I enjoyed his presence in my life so much. He was an adorable and smart  toddler with hair blonde hair, the chubbiest cheeks, and dreamy eyes. Since he was my first I think we learned and grew together. And I think we both turned out okay.
Now he's 15! 15! I cannot believe we made it to 15. At 15 he is organized, well liked, talented, responsible and and growing into a pretty decent young man. Today I will be surprising him at school. I will pick him up and take him out just the two of us. This child is so much like me that it is uncanny. I realize he's getting up there and in a few years will be off on his own starting his own life journey. I cannot wait  to see the man he will become. 
So to my son.. Michael Reed...I love you and am so proud of you!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Valentine's Day in Raquel's World

I'll tell ya having boys pays off every now and again, Like Valentines day. Each boy gave me  beautiful earrings (real gold too) Jackpot! One of my boys even gave me a heart full of chocolates, a Nestle Crunch bar, and Hershey Bar. I got a long stemmed rose from my preschool, my neighbor made me a V-day cake, I treated myself to a haircut, and then to top it all off David really planned a lovely romantic evening. His plans were as follows: 

Dinner~He planned a lovely candle lite dinner for just the two of us. Peaceful, serene and yummy. The lovely and amazing dinner consisted of a ribeye steak, large shrimp, garlic red potatoes, fresh veggies, two kinds of bread, salad, and creamy chicken spinach pasta. 
Mixed drinks would be served.
Dessert~In which he would feed me. (note to David: I do not like to be fed)
He Bought all the fixings for ice cream sundaes: ice cream, whip cream, wet walnuts, cherries, hot fudge and hot caramel.  
Movie ~that I had wanted to see was on deck.
Massage~ David planned to give me a full body massage. Which of course would lead into a romantic interlude.  
Sounds good huh? Now for the reality of how it really went down in Raquel's World

Dinner was planned for 7p
Due to the incessant arguing of my kids and non-stop ringing of my phone that I had to answer and a drop in visit from the neighbor who was miserable because that's how she gets on holidays, we started at 845p. Almost 2 hours behind schedule. 
Princess had a party at school and was hopped up on cupcakes, cookies, candy etc. so bedtime was not happening. David brought in the dinner and we sat down to eat. Princess decided she would join us and David thought it was fine. So candle light was out and so was peace and serenity because princess talked nonstop from the first bite til the last. Just the type of dinner conversation one wants eh? The food was scrumptious so I let that slide. Mixed drinks were out because I was taking antibiotics and you cannot mix alcohol with them.
Now to the sundaes, David was supposed to prepare them and present them to me but he was busy trying to make princess go to bed so I had to make my own, I know, cry you a river right? Hey it's my blog and I'll whine if I want to. So moving onto the movie. I popped in the movie and the DVD player decided that I indeed did not need to watch a movie so it refused to work. I tried several times then gave up and watched 90210, romantic huh? Onto the massage. I laid down for my full body massage 20/20 was on. It was an interesting interview with Janet Jackson. About 2 minutes into the massage they were showing pics of Janet at her finest, in a bikini. Just what I wanted to see after downing all that food. It did not help that David commented several times on her sexy body. Not only was he transfixed on the TV the massage was crappy. I warned him to knock it off because that was inappropriate for the moment. He did not heed my warnings  and was dumb enough to then comment on how lucky her man must feel to have all that woman. Ewwww dude come on! Really? That did it. I told him to just get the hell off me. Let me clarify I do not mind him lusting after women or even watching porn but not during my damned Valentine's Day massage idiot!
So then I paid him back by telling him due to the UTI my vagina was out of order and there would be no romance tonight. He then suggested some alternatives. One in particular that was mainly for him. Umm nope! Its Valentines Day for gods sake! Not your damn birthday, Jeez! He then tried to cuddle with me which I do not care for. I had him give me a foot massage instead and off to bed we went.
All In all it was not a bad day. Pretty good actually. I got jewelry, chocolate, dinner, ice cream, a foot massage so I'm cool with it but I knew you all would like to hear all the Raquelish Details. How was your V-day!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Falling Way Down....Part 7

It's 2007. I'm preggos and unemployed...perfect because really when you are pregnant you don't feel like doing ish and I did not have to. Life was good. Best part is my older boys had mentoring on Wednesdays after school so Mason and I had to kill 90 minutes each week and we killed it by eating at Red Lobster. Fun Times!! 
David, being the only one working, took over all the major bills and my funds went to preparing for the new baby, well that and Red Lobster. For the first and last time in my life I let go of all my responsibilities and handed it all over to David to handle. Big Mistake! I noticed slowly but surely things were getting further and further behind. By the time I figured it all out we were months behind in rent and other bills. This became a source of hostility at home. David had the approach that "everything will work out" my approach was quite different. My unemployment ended and things went from bad to worse. Lucky for me I had an awesome paying record for 7 years with my property owners so they allowed me to pay what I could when I could. But the stress of the mounting debt was horrible. That and the fact that if they should so choose at any minute we could get evicted. I have never been in that situation ever! Every time I would see them I would think "oh no, they are coming to evict me."  The part that I think drove me the most insane was I would lie awake at night stressing, but David really did not seem all that concerned. When we would discuss it he would say crap like "you are a worrier, No need to stress about it, that won't help." I became bitter and vengeful. I was having a baby any minute and there was not a whole lot I could do to rectify things.  In June 2007 I had my princess. The little girl I had always wanted.
She had some colicky issues in the early months so combine that with the money issues we were having and the turmoil between David and I and it was a bad time. I would sit on the porch at night and stare out into the rain and dream of just running away. I wanted to give up, start over, anything but be here now. I could feel postpartum depression chasing me down.  I had had some difficult times before but I knew this time I felt different, this time I wasn't sure I could rise above this and turn it all around. I was regretful for having another kid when times were so bad. I felt bad for my other kids because although I was there meeting all their psychical needs; between the colicky newborn and the financial woes, I was emotionally unavailable. I was like a robot going through all the motions but never feeling much. I am not close to my family so I could not turn there for help and I had long since alienated myself from my friends so I could not go there for support. I had nowhere to turn. Our quality of life had went from sugar to shit right before my eyes. The change was so drastic that I thought I was imagining it all. When it got really bad I headed down to our county welfare office.
 I lined up with the rest of society's rejects at 630am with a month old baby in tow. The office only helped 10 people per day. I waited all day from 630a to 6pm. I met with daycare people, food stamp workers, Medicaid, anyone and everyone I could. It was humiliating and degrading. I was shameful. I had taken care of myself since I was thirteen only to turn 30 and be begging for hand outs. I saw person after person go in the back and come out happy and relaxed for they would be getting the help they needed. That held me all those hours while I waited with a fussy baby in the busy waiting area. When my turn came they assessed my situation and said to me "you are too far behind for us to help, you should have come for help months ago" the intake worker told me. I explained that I thought I could turn things around on my own but now realized I could not and I need some temporary help. They referred me to our local food bank and put me on an emergency list for daycare. I busted into tears in the middle of the lobby and made a spectacle of myself. I wanted to lie down on the dirty floor and act a fool in the hope that someone would come take me away. Even a mental institution would have been a welcome change in that moment. 
As I cried in the lobby a lady came out to talk to me. She gave me some forms to fill out asap apparently there was some secret program and I had to have all the paperwork turned in now. So I went to the front desk to ask for a pencil the lady there said "we are closed".  And I lost it again. At that point security came and asked me to leave. Which I did. I drove home got into my bed and slept and cried. How the hell was I  supposed to take care of all these kids?   I cursed myself for having 4 kids. I felt like a real loser for the first time in my life. I stayed in that mode for two days. On the third day I awoke all cried out. As I looked at the little girl I had always wanted lying beside me something in me snapped. I loaded her into her carrier and headed down to our local food bank. That day was the second most humiliating day of my life. Each step  I took that day and every day after my hate for David grew and grew. He was a man dammit! Why didn't he fix this! When I tried to speak to him about things he would say that I was  overreacting and everyone had hard times I just needed to take one day at a time. I hate sayings like that! I realized at that time that although I had a man in my life I was alone.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

A Lil Something For The Ladies

Women are like the apples on trees.
The best ones are at the top of the tree.
The boys don't want to reach or climb for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead they choose the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.
So the apples at the top think there is something wrong with them, when in reality they are amazing.
They have to wait for the right guy to come along.
The one who is brave enough to climb to the the top of the tree.
So to all you amazing apples out there, hang in there!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Sorry Teachers, But this Homework is Outta Control

Teachers, Teachers, come on! What are you trying to do to me? Enough with all this silly homework already!. Do the kids really need hours of homework each night? Many kids don't get home til 5 or 6pm and go to bed around 8p. They have to eat, bathe, do chores, and don't forget maybe play for a few minutes outdoors, god forbid they have an extracurricular activity. Squeeze in 2 hours or more of homework each night and jeez!

I am all about some education and studying but lately our homework load is ridiculous. The most ridiculous part is homework only counts as less than 10% of the final grade in most upper classes and the kids know it. So how do I stress the importance of doing all this homework if this is the case? When they are that exhausted from all day at school and then hours of homework  are they really learning or are they just trying to get it done? If homework is that important I say make it 45% of the grade at least 30%! 

The worst part about it is my kids are no geniuses, (sorry kids) and they need my help. I am often stressing to my kids that "mother knows best" or that "I already completed school" so when I sit down to help them and don't know the answers myself I look really dumb. Come on! You're killing my credibility here. Here are some examples. My son is in ninth grade, these are passages from Romeo and Juliet that he had to translate. 

Where be these enemies? Capulet! Montague!

See, what a scourge is laid upon your hate,

That heaven finds means to kill your joys with love!

And I, for winking at your discords too,

Have lost a brace of kinsmen: all are punish'd.

For naught so vile that on the earth doth live

But to the earth some special good doth give;

Nor aught so good but, strain'd from that fair use,

Revolts from true birth, stumbling on the abuse:

Virtue itself turns vice, being misapplied;

And vice sometimes by action dignified

Here's my first problem with that. Why is that necessary? Sure if you are going into a field where literature is important. But, for the layman what is the point? No one talks like that and I'm sure they never will again. So why waste valuable hours of education on this? I have polled many teenagers they 100% hate it and even after they spend weeks working on it still don't get the importance of it. Why can't Shakespeare evolve?  If the story is so important why not have one person update it and then the kids study that? Uggh. And before any literary lovers come at me let me stress that I LOVE reading, read to my kids lots, and read myself often, but come on!

Now seriously wouldn't the children's time be better served learning real life stuff? Like how to balance an account? Home ownership? How to cook on a budget? Or do home repairs? How to interview well? Or how to speak properly to adults instead of the  "ummhmmm" most of us get from our teens? What about networking lessons and technology? I mean seriously even Math seems like a waste since there are  machines that do math for us and don't forget they are a requirement in High School. Why do I have to pay $100 or more dollars for a calculator if my son has to do it without one? Don't we just need to know the basics here?

Now onto vocabulary, I love words but my fourth grader? Not so much. And this vocab list doesn't  help.




Does he really need those words right now? He knows them but can't make his bed properly, or stay organized or put pants in the drawer marked pants opposed to the underwear drawer. I am all for education but I really think it is outta control.

Our school board is proposing changing our  school hours for a couple reasons. One is to make bussing schedules run more smoothly. Another is to add more time to the school day. The elementary kids would have to stay til 4pm!

Middle til 3:15

High School til 3:15

I would agree to this if there was no homework but lets not forget these are kids and kids need time to just be kids. This school thing is outta control. I'm gonna put a post together about all my complaints with our local school system soon but this one couldn't wait.

Am I being unreasonable here? Anyone else having this issue? 

Friday, February 4, 2011

Having the Upper Hand...Part 6

Although I liked, no, I loved my new drama free life I could see it was hurting David. He began to spend a lot more time at my house. He would come by to see the kids or fix things. Funny how when you put a guy out they are much more helpful. Eventually I gave him a key so he could  let himself in and out. Then one day I came home from work and he had just moved all his crap back into my home. Let's be honest. After my initial frustration at the nerve of him! I was a bit flattered that he was "fighting" for me. This was new. I had always felt like his last priority and to see him just walk away from his single life, own place, and all his freedom because he hated spending nights away from us "his family" made me reevaluate things.
This time was different though, I knew I had the upper hand. So I took complete advantage.This time I would stand my ground a bit. I told David that I liked my new freedom, and quite honestly was tired of always just jumping right back into things whenever he decided he was ready again. So, while he could stay if he liked, I would continue to date my suitor. If he didn't like it then he could go. He accepted those terms and stayed?? So that's just what I did. Except now it was even better because I had an in house babysitter when I wanted to go out. I was living the best of both worlds. I could go out and date and be treated like a lady  and then when I came home I still had this great family life. And of course David was going out of his way to prove his love so he was a cooking, fixing, time spending, romantic in-house-benefit. I relished it all!
Problem is I had a conscience and every time I would come home and see the sadness on David's face or see that he had prepared a lovely dinner for me although, I had just been out to eat, I felt really bad. After all I did love him. And although I wanted him to suffer for once, living with the pain in his eyes was hard for me. So I went with my heart and ended things with my new guy. As always it went really good for a long time. Suzy was still with same guy, shockingly. We even spent some holidays, birthdays, and attended the kids soccer games with Suzy and her new man, all cordially and pleasant. It seemed we had this thing finally figured out. 
Then my big time job sold to another company and I went to work at my bosses new construction company as a project manager. I knew nothing about construction but it was easy to tell that the company was doing some underhanded crap. Our paychecks began bouncing and I counted on David more and more to support the family. It went okay for a while. My pay was becoming increasingly sporadic and eventually the company went under and I became unemployed. I had worked almost daily since I was 13, I even had my own apartment and was emancipated at 14 so I prided myself at being a provider for myself and my family. Being unemployed was a scary new territory for me. At first I did not fret. I had awesome credentials and a great work ethic so I was sure I would secure work quickly. I was wrong. Due to the absence of a college degree I was undesired by any workforce comparable to what I had been doing. That's when I first began to understand the saying "its not what you know but what you know."
I filed for unemployment for first time in my life. I was amazed to find that once I subtracted the costs of daycare and travel expenses I was bringing in pretty much the same amount as when I was working. It was a good time because I could drive my kids to school, pick them up, volunteer at their schools more and do things I had never been able to do before like be there with warm cookies and milk after school. Plus I had tons of free time. Hence, all that free time, I became pregnant, again. This changed the whole game.

If you wondered how we got here you can go back..
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Just Another Day to Complain About

It all started when I split my pants on the way  to work you can read bout that here if you'd like. Then at work my coworker who was supposed to be 15 minutes late was two hours and 15 minutes late, did not call and did not answer my many calls to her. So I was left to deal with all the lil pumpkins by myself. Which was fine except when I had to pee. My regular readers will know that is about every ten minutes or so.  I also had two autistic kids under my care and one of them who is normally fine decided he wanted something and I had no clue what it was. Since he could not communicate with me he decided to take his frustrations out  by kicking my ass, literally. I tried and tried to solve the mystery. I ran around the center trying everything I could think of but his many kicks to my shins and stamping on my foot and a few strong punches told me I was way off. I took my beat down like a woman and just  tried to calm him down which pissed him off worse. Eventually I let him be and he calmed down on his own. Now this would have been a bit more manageable had I had help but anyways...
I make it through the work day and I'm off to take Marlon in to get a cavity filled. Our appointment was 3pm. The plan was an hour at the dentist then that gave me an hour to pay bills/run errands before I had to pick up the littler kids. Well that plan was shot  to hell when at 4pm we were still waiting. They finally called Marlon back and I asked if I could leave him there and come back? Ghetto mom, I know. Seriously who leaves their kids at the dentist alone? I do that's who. I had ish to do and the dentist running late killed my time management plan. The receptionist said it would be fine if I left him as long as I was back when he was done. Although she was looking at me like "who the hell leaves their kids alone at the dentist?" She told em he would be done in an hour, then she said well maybe 30 minutes. I figured 45 minutes and headed off.
I went by my town hall to pay the water bill that is when I discovered I did not have the bill that had the account number which is required for the payment. I called my other son and had him read it to me. Problem as I had no pen. No pen. Not in my car, glove compartment, my purse, Nope no pen in sight. Frustrated at the waste of time I headed over to pick up some supplies that the boys needed for school. The store I stopped at did not carry binders? Uggh . I checked my watch 20 minutes to spare. I looked across the parking lot and saw the tanning salon. Hmmm I thought after the day I've had a 15 minute nap in the sun sounded great. Even if the son was electric. I raced over there and was excited that I finally had a piece of happy in my day. I enter the booth undressed slathered on my tanning lotion and hopped into the the bed. Ahhhh.
Then the phone rang, It was the dentist office, Shit! I answer and the lady says "your son has been waiting for 10 minutes already." "I'll be right there" I say, embarrassed. I jump out of the bed throw my clothes on and race over. The front desk staff are looking at me as If I've been somewhere smoking meth.
I hung my head in shame as my teen scolded me. "Mom where were you? I have been waiting ten minutes!  This is so embarrassing!" I pick up the other rascals and run a few errands then we head home. It's after 6pm and dinner must get started. That morning I had taken a bag of meat out of the freezer to thaw. Unsure of what the meat was at the time I figured I'd make do either way. Well friends that bag had thawed out and it was deer meat. I do not do deer meat! So now there was no dinner to cook. Awesome. I throw the deer meat out mad because I had asked David to always label the deer meat. We had frozen dinner in a bag, yum! The kids love it so it, was all well. And that will conclude my bitching about yesterday.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Moving On.....Part 5

Wanna know what happened prior to this? You can just click the links below.
As the months went by. Things went from bad to worse. David's kids were not being cared for and when they visited they would  tell stories that confirmed things were bad. We talked about it, I was horrified to go from 3 kids to 5  all  under the age of 4, but I cared for his kids and did not want to see them in danger. We offered Suzy to take the kids for a while until things got better. She refused. We debated about going to court but had neither the time nor money so David saved up some money and moved back home again to  secure a residence down there and get his kids.
Well apparently by that time the gparents had stepped in and David truthfully, was being unrealistic on how he was going to provide for them. The boyfriend and Suzy had split and supposedly Suzy was getting a better grasp on things. He stayed down there a couple months and then when things seemed back in order he returned. Life went on as usual and Suzy obtained yet another guy that she moved into her home. This one seemed to be decent, although he spoke no English. After a while Suzy and the new guy we'll call him Fabio got engaged. I noticed that Suzy and David's correspondence was picking up quite a bit. They seemed to talk more often and less about the kids. I wondered about that and truthfully did not like it but It was better than the discord that we had been dealing with previously. 
One evening I was going through our finances and came upon a receipt for Suzy's water bill. It had been paid by David. I checked the date and sure enough it was during a time I too needed him to assist with a bill. He did not have the money to pay the bill where we lived but he had paid Suzy's. Suzy was getting a lovely chunk of child support, government assistance, had a PT job and a man living with her that was working as well. I was livid. When I confronted him about it. I got the same ole same song and dance about how his kids lived there blah blah blah. I could not help but wonder if he'd forgotten we too had a son that lived with us? Not to mention my other kids. We stayed in a cold place about that water bill for quite some time. Then it was back to school time. My finances were short and I needed his help. He said he had to help Suzy get his kids school supplies! Although two of my children were not his I felt they should still have been a priority. It was clear they were not. When David headed off that weekend to take his kids shopping. I threw all his ish out and him too. I was done. Tired of being last place. I mean how long was this gonna go on? 
He decided that he would rent a place one town over from me. He did and I began a new life for myself. I had an awesome job and was quite happy being man-less.  A few months of being single and I had bought a new dryer and when it was being delivered I was pleased to find that the delivery guy was a guy I had crushed on in high school. He asked me out and I said yes. We began to date and it was wonderful.I had not "dated" in forever. It was so wonderful to be picked up and taken out an treated like a lady. He too had kids and had been divorced but I did not have to deal with any of that. It was so nice to spend time with a guy that seemed genuinely into me and did not spend the whole night talking about his kids or his ex wife. I truly enjoyed this time. David of course was trying to see me as well. He and I spent time together but life was so drama free without him. It was just wonderful! I had no man to clean up after, did not have to worry about weekend visitation schedules, or child support or baby mama drama. I was loving life. Amazingly I also realized I was an even better mother single. Without all the man aggravation I was happier and had more time for my kids. We all flourished in our new phase of life. 

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Roc's Reflections- Denial can leave you exposed

Each morning I get 4 kids off in 4 directions and have to be to work by 7:50am. I open the facility and work alone most mornings so it is super important that I am there to do that prior to 8am. This morning I dropped off Mason and MJ at preschool hopped back into my van and..... rrriiiip? Naw, I thought, couldn't be. As I reached my hands down between my thighs I was alarmed to discover I had ripped my pants with my fat ass! Uggh!! 

As you can see this was no small tear.
No! This can't be I thought. I checked the time 7:37am. I have to be there in less than 15 minutes. Panic ensues. I call the owner, she lives cross the street and that is our emergency plan. This is an emergency right? She doesn't answer. No surprise there. I try her husband. He does not answer either. No way can I open a childcare center with my ass hanging out. So I run home grab some bigger pants quickly and jump back into my van. Rrriiiipp! Come on! Now my whole ass is hanging out. I race to the center and made it here by 8:01am. Not too bad huh? Problem is I must now get past my denial that I've gained a bit. I have to lose weight.