Friday, September 10, 2010

My SleepLESS Night

Yesterday evening two of my kids were punished, one for getting a naughty note from school and the other just for being a smart ass. "Naughty Boy" had to do 30 minutes hard labor, 1 hour extra schoolwork and then straight to bed, no TV, no games.

"Smart-Ass" was sentenced to 2 hours of hard labor in the neighbors yard, and no TV, no games.
That's right biznitches...I don't play!

So that left the "good kids" and I with some free time. We decided to utilize that time by going for a walk through our neighborhood. Since "Naughty Boy" was already asleep, "Smart Ass" was exhausted from his laboring, and the two "good ones" were tired from our evening walk everyone went to bed early. I had a somewhat taxing week and really needed a good nights rest so I opened my bedroom window, cut the lights, and popped an OTC sleeping aid and called it a night around 930p.

We had a new neighbor move in yesterday, I live in a large duplex so we basically share a building separately but our yards are one. She has a dog apparently. Around 1030p I was awakened by a little dog barking under my window, sounded cute but not at 1030p.

Around 12a I was awken by RA (resident asshole) getting into bed.

At 2am I awoke from a nightmare that I had caught RA and Kim Kardashian getting in on. I awoke mad as hell. How dare he replace me with a better looking woman!

At 3am Princess was there at the foot of my bed crying because she had peed the bed. Again. So I got up cleaned her up then tucked her back into the bed with us.

Around 345am RA shouted out "Why is there damn water in the bed?"

Okay I thought this dude is crazy! I chalked it up to sleeptalking and went back to sleep. As I dozed off he said again "Roc, did you pour water in the bed?'

"Yes idiot I got up and had some late night water, couldn't finish it all, didn't feel like walking back to the kitchen so I poured it all over the bed." I did not feel anything. So again I just assumed he was dreaming.

About 10 minutes later he said again "what the hell is in the bed,? I'm gonna have to sleep somewhere else!"

"Where in Kim Kardashian's bed?" I snapped. Still obviously a little pissed at him for having boned Kim in my medicated induced sleep.



"I'm seriously getting on the couch"

'Whatever dude just get a move on so I can sleep already!"

I then felt him adjust the blankets, reposition and go back to sleep. Then I felt the "water".
What the hell! I looked at the clock...449am. Gotta get up in 40 minutes. By the time I change
the bedding it will be time to get up. And I was exhausted. Screw it I'll deal with the "water" after 530

515a. Neighboors dog again (bark, bark, bark, bark!)

525a Garbage truck outside (roar, crash, rumble, slam, beep, beep, beep)

530 alarm clock (beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep!)

By the way, Yes it was pee!


  1. I loathe nights like sleep=mean ass bitch in my case!

    We are trying really hard to potty train our 4 yr old..he goes to the bathroom, 1 & 2 on the toilet just fine..but he still has accidents in bed (from time to time), he's getting better but I totally feel your pain; which is why I don't let him sleep with me. He can piss in his own sheets but he's NOT going to piss in mine! LOL!

  2. Chandra- That's definitely gonna become my motto "piss your bed not mine" After all my mattress is lacking the plastic cover she has on hers.

  3. I feel your pain....without the water!

    kill the little dog - daughter gets a diaper at night and sleeps in her room and you take another pill and no dreams of big butt girls.

  4. Nice picture of Kim Kardashian. What was the rest of your post about???? :)

  5. Neighbor dogs are the WORST. UGH!!!!! My kid peed the bed last night too, but was most certainly NOT invited into mine! I sweetly tell him "Get some blankets and sleep on the floor!"


  6. There's nothing like getting pissed on to make the night complete.

  7. I always find that after a shittee nights sleep like this, you sleep extra well the next night ...chin up, look on the bright side, an amazing nights sleep awaits you :-D