Thursday, September 30, 2010


So I just got rid of the dog , settled into my bubble bath when the doorbell rings. I throw on my robe and open the front door to see the two kids that took the dog away only less than an hour ago. They were standing there holding the dog looking sad.
The oldest said "uh we have a problem"
"Mom didn't go for it huh?"
"No that's not it; our neighbor is a vet and he checked the dog out, this dog has problems."You're telling me I thought.  "He has fleas, ticks, WORMS, and some other illness" the boy said. 

So basically this is a dead dog walking! Awesome! So I screamed, yes literally screamed "RA come get your dog!" RA comes to the door and says "I told you to let me do it my way but no you had to get all involved." As  if to insinuate that had he given away the dog the dog would not have all these ailments.  Are you serious asshole? I had to "get all involved?" Well thank god I did because you just exposed all my kids and home to fleas, ticks, worms and whatever-hell-else this dog has!

Of course this is exactly what I predicted would be the case with the dog so I had to do a few I-told-you-sos which really pissed him off but I did not give a fuck. He said "fine I'll get rid of the dog tomorrow." No actually dick head you will get rid of the dog tonight.

So he loaded up the doggy and rolled out all pissed. It was 730p. Good, now I got rid of the dog and the man. Awesome. I returned happily to my bath. Except I was feeling really fucked up about the dog. It must be suffering. And that is really sad to have all that going on. But there is no way I can afford to fix that dog and do not even want the dog. And if I was gonna get a dog it would not be an eat-your-kids-face-off dog. 
Evidemce of my eat-your-face-off accusations

This is the kinda guy that I would think owns a pit bull

Not quite the image I am going for.
 8pm, 9pm, 10pm, 11pm  Still no RA and no dog. Hmmm. I decided to give RA a call to see what the hold up was, He did not answer so I decided to give him another 52 calls. Still no answer. On the last call I left a message that he should just make a night of whatever he was up to because I was going to bed and did not wanna be disturbed. He has no key to my home. (I took it away when we separated in March and quite frankly like that he cannot get in without me there) 12am still no RA, 
1245am, Ra is knocking on my window. I cracked my window and asked innocently 
"What can I do ya fer?" 
"Let me in Roc" he says
"Where's the dog?" I asked
"Gone" he said
'Where?" I say
"What do you care?"
"I really don't. So where the fuck you been for 5 hours not answering your phone?"
"Look you wanted the dog gone and its gone"
"Repeat. Where the fuck you been for 5 hours not answering your phone?!"
"You don't care about me anyway so what do you care? Hell, I don't even have a key!"
"Well mister that is because you are irresponsible and don't answer your phone, and do dumb things like bringing a sick flea infested animal into my home."
"That's BS!"
"Whatever now please step away from the window so I can return to sleep"
"No! Open up now, I'm not playing!"
"Oh did you think I was?"
I shut the window and he knocked again. I called his cell
"Hello" he said irritated 
"OH now you answer your phone?"
"Are you gonna let me in or not?"
"Not!" I say then hang up
RA knocked a bit more than crashed out in his car.
I slept awesome minus one man and one dog.

Stay tuned


  1. You know, Raquel, you could probably sell this story to a screenwriter and make some money...

  2. i agree, this has hollywood all over it

    michael vick

  3. Bilbo & The Eternal List- I sure wish I could. And Im glad that the Eternal List signed it Michael Vick, I thought he was calling me Michael Vick.

  4. you would look adorable walking a pit bull... LOL

  5. Everyone is right...this is pure holleywood!