Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Explaining the RA- THE GOOD

I have struggled with sharing this part of my life here but it's such a huge factor how can I not? Just to be fair I will start at the beginning and bring it full circle, at some point. What does that mean for you? Multiple posts. Yippee! I know, I know. Please try to contain your excitement. Okay here's the low down dirty on the RA (resident asshole) and I......

When I met RA almost 12 years ago I was married to another man. Married but living separate lives.  My husband and I , actually I had decided that enough was enough and I was as done as I could be. However being a waitress at the time I couldn't afford to leave him so we decided to live together but separately. Kinda like an open marriage but not really. He had been having an open marriage with me for a while, I just didn't know about it. I left him and then when I did I found out I was preggos with #2. We decided to live together so that our kids would have a mom and dad in the home but would go out and do our own things. So that's how we got where we were. We made a great family but had a horrible marriage. So about 2 years into the "arrangement" I met the RA. At the time he was not the RA he was David.

It was supposed to be a "hook-up" prearranged by one of my girlfriends because he was fresh out of a divorce and not looking for anything serious and with my current situation no one would take me serious. So we hooked up with the understanding it would be a one night stand. But quite honestly he PUT IT ON ME!! I was dickmitized for sure. I could not leave him alone. I was obsessed with him, determined he would be all mine. I hunted, stalked, and pursued him nonstop until he finally caved and fell for me. Then when I decided I couldn't be without him any longer we got together. Hubby moved on and David became my man. 

David was awesome. He was a chef and could cook like wow! He was so domesticated, he cleaned and cleaned. He was so romantic. At least once a week I would arrive home to some tropical surprise, or a room lit by a red light bulb or a bubble bath ran with candles around it, apples carved into roses surrounded my plate at dinner, he gave me facials, bathed me, washed my hair, gave me pedicures all kinds of stuff he was always impressing me. Our sex life was like Woah! No one could compare. He was sensitive, yet sexy. This was not just the "honeymoon phase" this lasted for years and years. Once I introduced him to my kids he was amazing with them too. We had our share of issues but the passion between us was unheard of. I provided him with a stable unyielding love and and he provided me with all the luscious qualities listed above. After being ignored by my husband for years I was a woman with her nose wide open for this man. 

Now let me be clear we had our issues. He had kids in another town and had a job making barely any money after taxes and child support so trust me we had our issues. We were also very different in a lot of ways. Funny how at that time our differences seemed to be something to be cherished. Holidays were always an issue, because he wanted to go to his hometown where his family was and I wanted to make new memories in our home with our kids. He was also  bad with money. I mean he didn't have much to start with so any mishap killed us. That was amplified by the fact that I was used to a husband supporting me. Now I was truthfully the supporter. But for the most part I did not mind because he did all the things listed above continuously so even when he  did bad, he could just light some candles, open a bottle of wine, put on some music and all was forgotten.


  1. I can tell this is going somewhere. Good for you for going there. Can't wait!

  2. "gave me facials, bathed me, washed my hair, gave me pedicures"

    Are you trying to gross out all your guy readers or WHAT!

  3. Looking forward to part 2 and 3 and so on!!!

  4. Sandra, And Peg- Thanks!
    Sundar- You can count on it
    Mike- Don't be a hater,